2022-11-11 Sulcratcr comedy p 1
Cash App $dustsmokinghippies
[0:00 - 1:21] (gavel banging)
[1:21 - 1:25] Oh well, to psychosis, start scratching in what way?
[1:25 - 1:28] This way or on a DJ deck?
[1:28 - 1:30] 'Cause I can do both, bro.
[1:30 - 1:34] I can do both scratching on a DJ deck and on,
[1:34 - 1:37] well, obviously, wait, is this thing on?
[1:37 - 1:43] Oh well, like I said, dude,
[1:43 - 1:46] I can do both scratching on a DJ deck and regular.
[1:46 - 1:48] Take your fucking dick.
[1:49 - 1:51] (gavel banging)
[1:51 - 1:55] I mean, I would say for you to take a pic, but,
[1:55 - 2:03] I mean, I would say for you to take your pic
[2:03 - 2:07] on which style of scratching that you want to do,
[2:07 - 2:11] but I had to say that I'm kind of picky about this shit.
[2:11 - 2:12] What can I say?
[2:12 - 2:14] I mean, I'm a little bit picky.
[2:14 - 2:16] So take your pic on which pic you want.
[2:16 - 2:20] You want this one or you want the red one?
[2:20 - 2:21] Take your pic.
[2:21 - 2:24] I mean, first you're going to scratch
[2:24 - 2:26] and then you want this?
[2:26 - 2:30] Like, I mean, take your pic, man.
[2:30 - 2:32] I mean, I would tell you to ask him,
[2:32 - 2:37] I would say, I would say, you know, take your pic,
[2:37 - 2:40] but I need to know which pic you want, dude.
[2:40 - 2:42] (gavel banging)
[2:42 - 2:43] Just saying.
[2:43 - 2:44] Which pic you want, man?
[2:44 - 2:45] The white one or the red one?
[2:46 - 2:48] (gavel banging)
[2:48 - 2:51] It's kind of like the red, it's kind of like the matrix.
[2:51 - 2:54] Red fill, blue fill, take your pic.
[2:54 - 2:55] Which one are you going to choose?
[2:55 - 3:01] 'Cause me, personally, I ain't taking either of them.
[3:01 - 3:09] Nah.
[3:09 - 3:14] I ain't going to talk about his way of problem.
[3:14 - 3:19] Now, the only problem he has is waiting.
[3:19 - 3:24] Like, he's impatient.
[3:24 - 3:27] So, what can I say?
[3:27 - 3:30] But you know what, that's not real funny about trolls.
[3:30 - 3:32] I mean, trolls used to be, you know,
[3:32 - 3:34] those big things with all that hair.
[3:34 - 3:36] You know, like the movie trolls.
[3:36 - 3:42] So how do we go from that to living under a bridge
[3:43 - 3:48] and now to whatever this is, this thing?
[3:48 - 4:00] And now, here's the thing.
[4:00 - 4:05] Everybody always wants to crack jokes at the wise guy.
[4:05 - 4:09] Well, that wise guy is now cracking jokes at you.
[4:09 - 4:13] Like, let's take Ray, for example.
[4:13 - 4:14] Like Ray, who are you?
[4:14 - 4:16] Who are you supposed to be?
[4:16 - 4:19] Ray William Johnson or Ray Mysterio?
[4:19 - 4:29] I'm taking pic, who you trying to be, Ray Mysterio?
[4:29 - 4:30] Hey, Sam, man, you're in the wrong
[4:30 - 4:32] fucking department for that shit.
[4:32 - 4:35] You're in the way, you're way in the wrong
[4:35 - 4:37] department for that shit.
[4:37 - 4:40] Last time I checked, Ray Mysterio and them are,
[4:40 - 4:43] last time I checked, I think out in,
[4:43 - 4:46] I don't know where the rest went out tonight,
[4:46 - 4:48] but you're in the wrong state, buddy.
[4:48 - 4:49] Just saying.
[4:49 - 4:53] If you're looking for the real Ray Mysterio,
[4:53 - 4:57] look for your son Dominic and Judgment Day.
[4:57 - 4:59] Look for Judgment Day and Dominic Mysterio
[4:59 - 5:03] and you might find Ray if you get lucky.
[5:03 - 5:04] Just saying.
[5:04 - 5:07] Now, if you're looking for Ray William Johnson,
[5:07 - 5:08] I'd hit of YouTube.
[5:08 - 5:09] You can find him there.
[5:09 - 5:20] And that's not a joke?
[5:20 - 5:25] Yeah, well, neither was your mom
[5:25 - 5:26] sucking my cock last night.
[5:26 - 5:29] So, there is that.
[5:29 - 5:33] I mean, if that's not a joke, then what is?
[5:33 - 5:35] Your mom sucking my dick?
[5:35 - 5:36] Is that a joke?
[5:36 - 5:40] I mean, come on, bro.
[5:40 - 5:49] Yo, everything's in the description.
[5:49 - 5:51] Check the description of this video, man.
[5:51 - 6:00] Jesus Christ is about out of you.
[6:00 - 6:03] No, you're not the real Jesus Christ.
[6:04 - 6:08] Now, unless I'm going Jesus fucking Christ,
[6:08 - 6:10] why would I have got out of you?
[6:10 - 6:13] I mean, clearly you're not the real Jesus Christ.
[6:13 - 6:16] I mean, I don't bow down to anybody.
[6:16 - 6:17] Watch me, yes I do.
[6:17 - 6:19] There's only two people I bow down to.
[6:19 - 6:22] The real God, watch me three.
[6:22 - 6:25] The real God, my mom and my girlfriend.
[6:25 - 6:26] And that's it.
[6:26 - 6:27] Those are the three, man.
[6:27 - 6:30] God, parents, girlfriend, that's it.
[6:33 - 6:36] Oh, boy, boy, you mean the bald bitch?
[6:36 - 6:39] You mean the guy that wants to try to pretend to be me?
[6:39 - 6:43] I mean, yo, boy, boy, why do they call you boy, boy?
[6:43 - 6:44] Well, anyway, man.
[6:44 - 6:47] I mean, do you dress up like the,
[6:47 - 6:49] how many of you guys remember that song, "I'm Blue"
[6:49 - 6:53] from way back in the early '90s and 2000s?
[6:53 - 6:55] How many of you guys remember that?
[6:55 - 6:58] You know, that song, "I'm Blue," you know, old school song.
[6:58 - 7:00] How many of you guys remember that?
[7:00 - 7:04] 'Cause I've been with you, I grew up with that shit.
[7:04 - 7:06] Like, what are you trying to be, man?
[7:06 - 7:08] Are you trying to be like them?
[7:08 - 7:11] I mean, why do they name you boy, boy?
[7:11 - 7:13] I mean, were you named after them?
[7:13 - 7:16] Like, did you get your name from them?
[7:16 - 7:18] Just saying.
[7:18 - 7:23] And to giganatasaurus, like what are you?
[7:23 - 7:25] What are you, giganatasaurus?
[7:25 - 7:27] Like, who are you trying to be?
[7:27 - 7:29] Quagmire, are you trying to go gigady?
[7:29 - 7:30] Or is it giga?
[7:30 - 7:33] Are you trying to go giga or gigady?
[7:33 - 7:34] If you're trying to go gigady,
[7:34 - 7:36] you're in the wrong show, bro.
[7:36 - 7:41] Like, save that shit for family guy, motherfucker.
[7:41 - 7:44] Just saying, save that shit for fucking family guy, dog.
[7:44 - 8:08] Ah, you mean the drag, you mean the black dragon lord?
[8:08 - 8:10] What even is a black dragon lord?
[8:10 - 8:12] That's what I wanted to know, like,
[8:12 - 8:16] is it a lord of the dragons that happens to be a black guy?
[8:16 - 8:19] And no, I'm not being racist, just saying.
[8:19 - 8:21] Is it somebody that happens to be someone that's black
[8:21 - 8:23] or does he wear black armor?
[8:23 - 8:25] I need to know, 'cause I don't know.
[8:25 - 8:29] So, I mean, but last time I checked,
[8:29 - 8:32] Tony ain't no dragon lord.
[8:32 - 8:34] The only lord he is, the only kind of lord he is
[8:34 - 8:36] is the lord of wheelchairs,
[8:36 - 8:39] not making fun of your disability, just saying, Tony.
[8:39 - 8:42] That's the only kind of lord you are, bro,
[8:42 - 8:44] is the lord of the wheelchairs, man, just saying.
[8:44 - 8:50] Yeah.
[8:50 - 8:52] Hey, Tony's a dragon.
[8:52 - 8:55] He's about as deadly as fucking Mushu from Mulan.
[8:55 - 8:59] Zadrium, yeah, what is with Zadrium?
[8:59 - 9:00] Why Zadrium?
[9:00 - 9:02] How do you even get your name, bro?
[9:02 - 9:04] How do you even get your name, Zadrium?
[9:04 - 9:08] Like, we all already know that you're a zero anyway.
[9:09 - 9:12] We already know that you're a zero anyway,
[9:12 - 9:14] so why add Zadrium to it?
[9:14 - 9:17] Like, what even is a Zadrium, dude?
[9:17 - 9:18] Like, I need to know.
[9:18 - 9:21] Can somebody look that up for me, 'cause I don't know.
[9:21 - 9:24] I would love to know what a Zadrium is.
[9:24 - 9:27] Like, I sound like a fucking weird cocktail drink
[9:27 - 9:28] if you ask me.
[9:28 - 9:35] Sounds like some shit I wouldn't want to be putting
[9:35 - 9:36] in my mouth, just saying.
[9:37 - 9:41] But, I just find it funny that these people come up
[9:41 - 9:42] with these weird ads.
[9:42 - 9:46] I've always found these men is really interesting, you know?
[9:46 - 9:49] I've always found it interesting that these people come up
[9:49 - 9:50] with these weird ads.
[9:50 - 9:54] I've always found these men is really interesting, you know?
[9:54 - 9:56] I've always found it interesting that these people come up
[9:56 - 9:57] with these weird ads.
[9:57 - 10:01] I've always found these men is really interesting, you know?
[10:01 - 10:03] I've always found it interesting that these people come up
[10:03 - 10:04] with these weird ads.
[10:04 - 10:06] I've always found it interesting that these people come up
[10:06 - 10:09] with these weird names, just to try to mess with you.
[10:09 - 10:12] When it's like, what are you doing?
[10:12 - 10:16] Like, you guys change names more than my girlfriend
[10:16 - 10:18] changes her underwear, bro.
[10:18 - 10:21] I swear to God, bro, you change, you guys change your names
[10:21 - 10:24] more than I change my fucking clothes,
[10:24 - 10:26] and I change my clothes every day.
[10:26 - 10:30] I change my clothes every fucking day, dude.
[10:33 - 10:37] That's a lot of fucking changes, dude, just saying.
[10:37 - 10:40] I swear to God, you guys, you trolls are like women
[10:40 - 10:44] in shoes, you're like women in shoes.
[10:44 - 10:48] You change them more times than I can keep up with.
[10:48 - 10:50] I swear to God.
[10:50 - 10:54] You guys literally change your mind and names more times
[10:54 - 10:57] than a woman changes her fucking shoes in a day.
[11:01 - 11:03] I mean, that's a lot.
[11:03 - 11:17] Yeah, and what kind of name is Glory Hole anyway?
[11:17 - 11:21] What kind of name is Blaine Glory Hole, like?
[11:21 - 11:22] William, what are you trying to say?
[11:22 - 11:26] Is that you're Marty's personal glory hole?
[11:26 - 11:30] I mean, if so, man, I'm not judging, just saying.
[11:30 - 11:35] I mean, I'm just saying, bro, like if that's what you do,
[11:35 - 11:39] that's your thing.
[11:39 - 11:41] I ain't hating, I ain't judging.
[11:41 - 11:51] I'll stick to the one hour for now.
[11:59 - 12:02] And Marty, how'd you come up with your name?
[12:02 - 12:07] Music Biz Marty, like, why the name Marty?
[12:07 - 12:10] And why Music Biz Marty?
[12:10 - 12:13] I mean, we all know you're not in the music industry.
[12:13 - 12:16] First off, we all already know that.
[12:16 - 12:18] But how'd you come up with the name Marty, like?
[12:18 - 12:21] Are you trying to be like Rick and Morty?
[12:21 - 12:22] Is that what you mean?
[12:22 - 12:25] Rick and Morty, not Rick and Marty?
[12:25 - 12:28] Shout out Rick and Morty, by the way.
[12:38 - 12:45] I was saddling roasting, Maurice, but we already know
[12:45 - 12:50] that your husband, The Miz, is already roasting you
[12:50 - 12:52] by being with you.
[12:52 - 12:58] 'Cause your ego is so far up your fucking ass,
[12:58 - 13:01] that you don't need anybody to mess with you.
[13:01 - 13:14] We all know that you're secretly fucking around
[13:14 - 13:17] behind The Miz's back, just saying.
[13:27 - 13:44] So who else should I crack on?
[13:44 - 13:46] I'm feeling in a crack out mood here.
[13:46 - 13:48] Who else should I rip on?
[13:48 - 13:50] So I feel like ripping some motherfuckers apart.
[13:50 - 13:55] When does the comedy show start?
[13:55 - 13:58] Hang on, hold on, we got one here, y'all.
[13:58 - 14:02] To Sheila Love, when does the comedy show start?
[14:02 - 14:06] I'd say it starts the minute you wake up in the morning.
[14:06 - 14:10] 'Cause when you wake up in the morning,
[14:10 - 14:14] that's when the comedy show starts, just saying.
[14:17 - 14:18] Schmecklecat?
[14:20 - 14:22] Who cares about Schmecklecat?
[14:22 - 14:25] The dude's a fucking weirdo.
[14:28 - 14:30] No, I'm not gonna rip on Tang.
[14:31 - 14:33] But I will rip on you, psychosis,
[14:33 - 14:37] because if we're going through a psychosis issue,
[14:37 - 14:40] you need to go see a shrink, clearly.
[14:41 - 14:43] You might need to go see a shrink,
[14:43 - 14:47] cuz if you're not messed up in the head, brah.
[14:47 - 14:50] If you're not messed up in the head, you need to go see a shrink, my dude.
[14:50 - 14:54] I mean, I can hook you up with one if you need me to, man.
[14:54 - 14:55] That's not a problem.
[14:56 - 14:57] Do weed jokes?
[14:57 - 15:01] [LAUGH
[15:01 - 15:07] Like, everybody knows that it's 4/20 for everybody in the fucking world.
[15:07 - 15:11] Not counting myself, but for my friends and
[15:11 - 15:16] people that do do weed, that's always 4/20, motherfuckers.
[15:21 - 15:22] Just saying.
[15:27 - 15:28] And make fun of candle, brah.
[15:28 - 15:31] I ain't even gotta try to make fun of candle.
[15:31 - 15:34] I mean, candle, how'd you get your name?
[15:34 - 15:40] Why, were your parents that fucking drunk and that fucking stone that they named
[15:40 - 15:45] you candle, or were they high on bath salts, or were they doing that?
[15:45 - 15:47] Because, I mean, naming you candle?
[15:47 - 15:49] What?
[15:49 - 15:50] Who just names our kid candle?
[15:54 - 15:57] That's why you're naming your kid grapefruit.
[15:57 - 15:59] Like, what the fuck?
[15:59 - 16:03] That's why you're naming your kid after like a grapefruit or a watermelon.
[16:03 - 16:04] Like, what the fuck?
[16:31 - 16:35] Hey, hey, did they name, are they, are you sure they didn't name Brock?
[16:35 - 16:38] Are you sure they meant brick and not Brock?
[16:38 - 16:40] You know, Brock Lesnar?
[16:40 - 16:43] I know I'm not talking about Brock from Pokemon.
[16:43 - 16:46] I'll talk about Brock Lesnar, you know, big beefy dude, tough guy.
[16:50 - 16:55] But, if they, if they did name their name, if they did name their son,
[16:55 - 16:59] Brick, did they name it after, after the old song Brick House?
[16:59 - 17:02] And yes, I do listen to that song.
[17:02 - 17:04] That is an old school song, and yes, I listen to them motherfuckers.
[17:07 - 17:11] Who I am just saying.
[17:11 - 17:14] I mean, if I were, if I were your friend, I would have named my son Brock.
[17:14 - 17:19] After Brock Lesnar, not Brick, as in Brick House, the song.
[17:19 - 17:22] Good song though, not gonna lie, very good song.
[17:22 - 17:27] Personal favorite, in case you guys didn't know.
[17:27 - 17:33] One of my old school favorites, I mean, whoa, let's monitor real quick.
[17:40 - 17:42] Come on, motherfucker.
[17:48 - 17:52] I swear to God, the technology is like,
[17:54 - 17:59] I swear to God, my computer's, I know, [BLANK_AUDIO]
[17:59 - 18:02] I swear to God, my computer's like a fucking woman.
[18:02 - 18:06] It can't make up its mind whether it wants to work or not.
[18:06 - 18:11] And no offense to women out there, I'm not a sexist, I'm just saying.
[18:11 - 18:17] My computer doesn't, I don't think of its goddamn mind like you guys in shoes.
[18:17 - 18:19] My computer's like you guys trying to pick out shoes.
[18:19 - 18:21] It can't seem to make up its mind.
[18:21 - 18:25] It's always changing its mind every five seconds of whether, do I want to work
[18:25 - 18:28] today, do I not want to work today, do I want to work today,
[18:28 - 18:30] do I not want to work today, all right, what's up with that?
[18:39 - 18:42] Yeah, and French Roy, I've worked.
[18:45 - 18:47] I work harder than your mom does.
[18:47 - 18:51] The only way your mom does is laying on her back for every fucking dude she sees.
[18:51 - 18:56] Just saying, your mom must do real hard work laying on her back,
[18:56 - 19:01] that's a lot of hard work laying on your back and getting fucked by every dude you see.
[19:09 - 19:12] Dude Joe Biden, hi, you mean Sleepy Joe?
[19:12 - 19:15] You mean the guy that don't need to be president?
[19:15 - 19:18] The dude that has always fallen asleep on us,
[19:18 - 19:21] who was the president that falls asleep all the time like that, bro?
[19:21 - 19:26] Just saying, I mean, there's a reason why he got his name Sleepy Joe for
[19:26 - 19:29] a reason, because he'd be doing this every single time.
[19:29 - 19:34] This is him, every single time, sad ass, you can fact check me on this shit.
[19:34 - 19:39] Every time you see Joe Biden or Sleepy Joe doing a fucking conference,
[19:39 - 19:40] he's always doing this.
[19:46 - 19:51] Every time, always, don't blame me, like seriously, go on Google,
[19:51 - 19:53] fact check it, look this shit up.
[19:55 - 19:57] Like it actually has happened.
[20:01 - 20:05] Just saying, why do we need a president that sleeps all the time?
[20:05 - 20:09] Like, take your ass back to the nursing home, dude, no one fucking needs it.
[20:09 - 20:13] We need a president that's gonna fall asleep.
[20:13 - 20:15] That's like I said,
[20:15 - 20:18] who let this old man out of the fucking nursing home to begin with?
[20:25 - 20:27] Like, who let this old man out of the nursing home?
[20:27 - 20:34] Put the dude back in the nursing home, give him a couple of coloring books, and
[20:34 - 20:37] put on Days of Our Lives, and there you go.
[20:37 - 20:39] And yes, I have seen Days of Our Lives.
[20:49 - 20:57] Hey, I voted, so I'm allowed to crack jokes, motherfucker.
[21:07 - 21:12] Actually, yes, I have, Joe.
[21:18 - 21:20] Hell, who do you think voted for
[21:20 - 21:23] fucking Obama when he went into office?
[21:23 - 21:26] I helped vote for Obama, motherfuckers.
[21:26 - 21:33] I didn't vote last year, or the year whenever they did Trump.
[21:33 - 21:35] And this year, I'm definitely not voting for Biden.
[21:35 - 21:41] I'm voting for the other guy, so have fun getting out of office, Sleepy Joe.
[21:41 - 21:44] Have fun going back near nursing home, boy.
[21:44 - 21:45] What do you have on your own?
[21:45 - 21:49] Oh, and by the way, Sleepy Joe,
[21:49 - 21:52] be sure you tell that hot nurse ain't passed by on your way in.
[21:52 - 21:56] Tell her I said what's up, and give her my number if you want to, man.
[21:56 - 22:01] Actually, hey, I tell you what, Sleepy Joe, if I give you my number,
[22:01 - 22:03] do you think you can pass it on to that hot nurse that you've seen on your way
[22:03 - 22:05] out of the nursing home, bro?
[22:05 - 22:09] Just saying, because she was kinda hot, and I always tended to tap that, man.
[22:09 - 22:11] Just saying, she was kinda cute.
[22:14 - 22:16] So can you give me a solid amount of time for my number?
[22:16 - 22:17] Thanks.
[22:23 - 22:24] Makes fun of monkey bucks.
[22:31 - 22:35] The Conker, this stinks, man.
[22:35 - 22:42] Hey, this is how the Conker sounds, this stinks, man.
[22:42 - 22:44] Yeah, like what stinks, man?
[22:44 - 22:46] Is it your upper lip, or is it your breath?
[22:46 - 22:54] Cuz if your breath stinks, you might wanna do something about it.
[22:54 - 22:55] You might wanna go brush your teeth.
[22:55 - 22:56] Just saying, breath.
[22:59 - 23:03] Makes fun of Gotthi, ah, you mean the toothless crackheads.
[23:03 - 23:06] You mean the toothless meth addict.
[23:06 - 23:11] Hey, Gotthi, now we all know why you give such good head to all these random dudes.
[23:11 - 23:15] You got no teeth, so literally all you're doing is gumming their dicks.
[23:17 - 23:19] You ain't even sucking, you gumming.
[23:21 - 23:24] Just saying, truth hurts.
[23:30 - 23:37] Bay Shaman, ah, you mean the dude that looks like a fucking, what the fuck?
[23:37 - 23:40] You mean the dude that looks like the wannabe Jafar, that guy?
[23:40 - 23:43] That dude with the purple turban that looks like he's a wannabe Jafar?
[23:43 - 23:48] And yo, Bay Shaman, by the way, I forgot to tell you, dude.
[23:48 - 23:51] Jafar called, he wants his purple turban back.
[23:51 - 24:00] You kinda took, yeah, you kinda mistook your underwear for his turban.
[24:00 - 24:04] So he needs you to bring his turban back cuz he's got a royal ball to go to.
[24:04 - 24:05] And he kinda needs it.
[24:10 - 24:16] So you might wanna get a hold of Jafar and give him a back, just saying.
[24:19 - 24:22] Dude, Tyreese, ah, you mean Tyreese?
[24:22 - 24:24] Tyreese me, Tyreese me.
[24:24 - 24:27] Who's Tyreese me again?
[24:27 - 24:30] I mean, who is that guy again?
[24:30 - 24:37] I mean, last time I checked, the dude, I don't know.
[24:37 - 24:42] Tyreese must have sneezed on somebody cuz Tyreese me.
[24:42 - 24:44] We all know he's full of bullshit.
[24:47 - 24:49] I mean, what else can you say, he's full of bullshit.
[24:57 - 25:01] And what's with that pretending to be Batman thing, by the way, bro?
[25:01 - 25:03] By the way, Tyreese, I was gonna ask you.
[25:03 - 25:08] What's that thing about you supposedly being Batman?
[25:08 - 25:11] I mean, you ain't no Bruce Wayne.
[25:13 - 25:16] At all, you ain't no Bruce Wayne, motherfucker.
[25:16 - 25:19] You ain't got millions of dollars lying around.
[25:21 - 25:26] All you are is a broke basic ass bitch bum who sits on his ass all day and
[25:26 - 25:27] e-bangs for money.
[25:27 - 25:29] You ain't no Bruce Wayne.
[25:40 - 25:44] Zen Dez, hey, Zen, what are you trying to be?
[25:44 - 25:46] Are you trying to be that one dude?
[25:46 - 25:51] That is Zed, the music artist Zed, you know, the song Zed's Dead.
[25:51 - 25:53] Is that who you're trying to be?
[25:53 - 25:54] It's so nice trying, man.
[25:54 - 25:57] You got a long way to go to be on Zed's level.
[25:57 - 25:59] By the way, Sean's a Zed, man.
[25:59 - 26:00] Love the new music, bro.
[26:00 - 26:01] Keep that shit up.
[26:09 - 26:11] Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, she is.
[26:11 - 26:14] I'm not gonna lie, you're not wrong.
[26:15 - 26:18] Gothy is definitely up there, man.
[26:24 - 26:26] You sound like a turtle dying.
[26:26 - 26:29] [LAUGH
[26:29 - 26:32] it would sound like William Glory Hole running his mouth.
[26:32 - 26:36] That's what a dying turtle sounds like, y'all.
[26:36 - 26:39] If y'all ever wanted to know what a dying turtle sounds like,
[26:39 - 26:43] it sounds like William Glory Hole running his mouth on a live stream.
[26:43 - 26:45] That's what it sounds like.
[26:50 - 26:52] Just in case y'all wanted to know.
[27:07 - 27:12] I don't know William Glory Beach, bro.
[27:12 - 27:16] I'd have way more fun at the beach than he would.
[27:16 - 27:19] William Glory Beach, bro.
[27:19 - 27:23] Bro, if you ever find a beach by the name of William Glory Beach,
[27:23 - 27:25] remind me to avoid that shit cuz I ain't going there.
[27:25 - 27:31] I ain't going to know fucking beach named William Glory Beach, bro.
[27:31 - 27:33] Fuck that.
[27:33 - 27:37] That shit's probably riddled with all kinds of bullshit that I don't need.
[27:37 - 27:41] That's probably some fucking foreign unknown disease out there that I don't
[27:41 - 27:42] know about that I don't need.
[27:47 - 27:50] Fucking glory, bro.
[27:50 - 27:55] I want to pay Glory Hole $1,000 to do a pole dance, bro.
[27:55 - 27:56] Ain't no way.
[28:01 - 28:03] Hey, Edward.
[28:03 - 28:06] Hey, Edward and William Shanks, who are you trying to be?
[28:06 - 28:09] Edward Scissorhands or Blackbeard?
[28:09 - 28:12] Are you trying to be the pirate Long Shanks or
[28:12 - 28:16] are you trying to be Edward Scissorhands?
[28:16 - 28:20] Cuz in case you missed the memo, bro, Halloween's over with, bro.
[28:20 - 28:22] That was over last week.
[28:22 - 28:27] Yeah, you might wanna check your calendar, bro.
[28:27 - 28:31] Because dressed up as Edward Scissorhands ended about last week, dude.
[28:31 - 28:35] Now if you're trying to be Long Shanks with pirate, you're on the right track.
[28:35 - 28:38] All you need now is a boat and some other shit, and you're good.
[28:44 - 28:46] What will it be, do you mean this?
[28:50 - 28:52] No, I can't do it, I used to do it, I can't do it.
[28:55 - 28:56] You mean that shit?
[29:04 - 29:11] Hey, spreading boy, you mean this?
[29:11 - 29:18] Fuck you, you mean that, boy, fuck you.
[29:34 - 29:40] As for the Lava Dot, no, I didn't play Trevor in fucking GTA.
[29:40 - 29:44] Wrong dude, totally wrong guy, people.
[29:48 - 29:53] Totally wrong guy, like why does everybody think I played Trevor?
[29:53 - 29:56] Wrong fucking guy, just saying.
[30:01 - 30:03] Actually, no, Bruce Willis did not do Trevor,
[30:03 - 30:06] that was somebody completely different, it was not him.
[30:27 - 30:31] Hey, Mango Wood, I can't tell you what I think of them, because I don't hate them.
[30:31 - 30:35] But I can tell you what I think of you, you sound like a fucking fruit basket.
[30:35 - 30:36] You sound like a fruit loop.
[30:36 - 30:40] You might wanna change your name up there, buddy,
[30:40 - 30:44] because you're kinda making me hungry for some fucking mangoes, bro.
[30:44 - 30:48] Just saying, you're making me hungry for some goddamn mangoes, bro.
[30:56 - 31:00] Now I'm gonna lie, man, you're making me fucking hungry for some goddamn mangoes.
[31:00 - 31:01] I could use some.
[31:11 - 31:23] Turn on my phone, pussy, like, dude, I don't have a pussy.
[31:23 - 31:27] So how am I gonna, in case you have noticed, I got a dick.
[31:27 - 31:30] How am I supposed to turn my phone on with a pussy when I got a dick?
[31:32 - 31:38] All right, last time I checked, I was a dude, so just saying, I ain't got a pussy.
[31:38 - 31:40] I got a dick.
[31:44 - 31:46] And I ain't turning my phone on with that.
[31:46 - 31:48] And then the last time I did, I ain't got no fucking pussy.
[31:48 - 31:51] If I had one, that'd be a different story.
[31:51 - 31:52] That'd be an interesting trick.
[32:01 - 32:04] Nah, he does that to himself already.
[32:04 - 32:07] He does that to himself already, so I ain't gonna rip on the guy.
[32:07 - 32:10] He does that to himself already.
[32:12 - 32:12] Yeah, done.
[32:12 - 32:16] Megatron Jones, who are you trying to be?
[32:16 - 32:18] Fred Jones from Scooby-Doo?
[32:18 - 32:21] Or are you trying to be Megatron from Transformers?
[32:24 - 32:25] I mean, you can be both.
[32:25 - 32:30] I mean, unless you took Megatron and put Fred Jones' clothes on him,
[32:30 - 32:32] then yeah, I mean, I suppose you could do that.
[32:32 - 32:37] It wouldn't look right, but it'd be something, I guess.
[32:46 - 32:49] All right, can you guys imagine Megatron from Transformers
[32:49 - 32:51] having Freddy's clothes?
[32:51 - 32:53] That'd be fucking weird.
[32:57 - 32:58] That'd be really fucking weird.
[33:05 - 33:07] Ah, Frank Fireman.
[33:10 - 33:11] What's up with the name?
[33:11 - 33:14] I don't even need to say anything.
[33:14 - 33:15] What's up with the name, bro?
[33:16 - 33:20] Rimp on the eye, you mean the wannabe gangsta?
[33:20 - 33:22] D-Drama, like, bro.
[33:22 - 33:24] Why name yourself D-Drama, bro?
[33:24 - 33:26] All right, who you trying to be?
[33:26 - 33:27] Dee Dee from Dexter's Laboratory?
[33:31 - 33:32] All right, is that who you trying to be?
[33:32 - 33:34] Dee Dee from Dexter's Laboratory, bro?
[33:35 - 33:38] If so, man, you're kind of missing a little bit of hair on top
[33:38 - 33:43] and the pink dress, you know, the pink ballet outfit.
[33:43 - 33:45] You're kind of missing that in the hair.
[33:46 - 33:47] Just saying.
[33:47 - 33:51] You might want to get that shit before you name yourself D-D from Dexter's Lab.
[33:51 - 33:52] Just saying.
[33:58 - 33:59] Right, though?
[34:02 - 34:05] Believe it or not, when I was younger, I used to be able to do his voice.
[34:09 - 34:12] Believe it or not, when I was younger, I used to be able to do Dexter's voice.
[34:12 - 34:14] I can't do it anymore, though.
[34:14 - 34:15] I used to be able to.
[34:15 - 34:18] I always just go, "D-D, get in the middle of the border."
[34:18 - 34:19] Beep, boom.
[34:19 - 34:20] See ya.
[34:20 - 34:25] All right, now, what's with Dee Dee always pressing every fucking button, man?
[34:25 - 34:25] For real?
[34:25 - 34:29] Why does she feel like she has to press every red button?
[34:29 - 34:32] Every fucking red button?
[34:32 - 34:35] You guys can check me on this shit.
[34:35 - 34:37] For those of you that grew up around Dexter's Lab,
[34:37 - 34:40] for those of you guys that grew up on Dexter's Lab,
[34:40 - 34:44] what's with her pressing every fucking button that she sees, bro?
[34:44 - 34:49] Like, every time she presses a button, something gets fucked up.
[34:49 - 34:50] Something goes wrong.
[34:50 - 34:52] Something blows up.
[34:52 - 34:54] Or Dexter goes flying out of the fucking house.
[34:54 - 34:58] Like, somebody put this bitch in a fucking psych ward.
[34:58 - 35:10] Something.
[35:10 - 35:17] Ah, Smokey MC.
[35:17 - 35:21] You mean the guy that smokes way too fucking much meth
[35:21 - 35:24] and sits on his computer all day?
[35:24 - 35:25] That guy?
[35:25 - 35:29] You mean the guy that pretends to be in a motorcycle club and smokes meth all day?
[35:29 - 35:38] That guy?
[35:38 - 35:39] That guy that sits back like this?
[35:39 - 35:42] I'm gonna fuck with people today.
[35:42 - 35:46] I'm gonna fuck with guys today 'cause I'm lazy.
[35:46 - 35:50] That guy?
[35:50 - 35:52] Yeah, he's a fucking weirdo.
[35:52 - 36:12] Ah, clunker.
[36:12 - 36:15] What's up with you, man?
[36:15 - 36:17] What's your deal, clunker?
[36:17 - 36:19] Are you driving a clunker out of a car this time?
[36:19 - 36:22] What are you doing back this time, just clunker?
[36:22 - 36:25] Are you fucking back driving an old Buick?
[36:25 - 36:30] I mean, last time I checked, man, your old Buick kind of broke down
[36:30 - 36:32] in front of your mom's house last time I checked.
[36:32 - 36:36] I mean, I let you got a fix, but last time I checked,
[36:36 - 36:38] Buicks don't run off of bullshit.
[36:38 - 36:40] They run off of engines.
[36:40 - 36:44] They run off of the same thing as any other motor vehicle.
[36:44 - 36:46] They don't run off of bullshit.
[36:47 - 36:51] All right, unless you figure, unless you somehow or other became a magical genius,
[36:51 - 36:57] and somehow or other made it to run off of literal bullshit,
[36:57 - 37:01] then, bro, someone give this man a medal.
[37:01 - 37:05] If this man figured out how to make a car run off of pure bullshit,
[37:05 - 37:08] that man deserves a fucking medal.
[37:08 - 37:15] That man deserves a medal for making a car run off of fucking bull crap.
[37:15 - 37:18] Like literally, I'm not talking shit talking.
[37:18 - 37:24] I'm talking literal ass tiles of physical bullshit.
[37:24 - 37:26] You deserve a medal for that one, my friend.
[37:26 - 37:32] Making a car run off of pure shit from a bull, from a cow?
[37:32 - 37:35] You deserve a fucking medal for that, my friend.
[37:35 - 37:51] Just saying, if you can make a car run off of bullshit like that, bro,
[37:51 - 38:07] yo, you're a fucking G. You're a fucking genius.
[38:07 - 38:18] You mean they made cars that run off of God?
[38:18 - 38:26] Hey, hey, yo, Goofo, you mean they made cars that run off of Gothy's ass?
[38:26 - 38:32] You mean, you mean they made cars, they actually made cars that run off of Gothy's diarrhea?
[38:32 - 38:34] That's new to me.
[38:34 - 38:36] Where, where can I buy one, dude?
[38:36 - 38:37] How much are they?
[38:37 - 38:38] Let me know.
[38:38 - 38:39] I'm thinking about picking one up.
[38:39 - 38:41] Shit.
[38:41 - 38:46] And if it's nice enough, I might deck that bitch out with some dope ads
[38:46 - 38:49] with a nice JDM rockin' buddy, kid, bro.
[38:49 - 38:57] Hey, Chrysler, turn my gun.
[38:57 - 38:59] Thanks for that.
[38:59 - 39:05] Yeah, she does.
[39:05 - 39:09] Why do you think every time somebody goes around in her house,
[39:09 - 39:11] they have to wear a full fucking hazmat suit?
[39:11 - 39:13] They ain't just gotta wear a gas mask.
[39:13 - 39:18] They gotta wear a whole fucking hazmat suit just to even go near her ass.
[39:18 - 39:31] This is like a trash can to grow arms with us, bro.
[39:31 - 39:34] If you find it, why does it sound like a fucking Pokemon?
[39:34 - 39:36] A trash can that grew arms with tux?
[39:36 - 39:39] That sounds like a fucking Pokemon.
[39:39 - 39:41] Hey, am I wrong?
[39:41 - 39:45] Does that not sound like something more like a Pokemon or a Digimon?
[39:45 - 39:45] Am I wrong?
[39:45 - 39:49] I mean, that sounds like some shit from like Pokemon or some shit.
[39:49 - 39:54] Yo, you find a Pokemon like that?
[39:54 - 39:56] Bro, fucking let me know.
[39:56 - 39:57] I'm going after that bitch.
[39:57 - 39:59] I got Pokemon Go, motherfucker.
[39:59 - 40:03] You fucking, you tell me where you, where do you find that Pokemon?
[40:03 - 40:04] I'm catching that motherfucker.
[40:04 - 40:05] You let me know.
[40:05 - 40:08] I've got Pokemon Go on my phone, bitch.
[40:08 - 40:12] You find a fucking trash can with arms and legs on Pokemon Go?
[40:12 - 40:12] You let me know.
[40:12 - 40:23] I'm catching that motherfucker.
[40:23 - 40:29] Just saying.
[40:37 - 40:39] The clunker, me?
[40:39 - 40:41] I ain't no trash.
[40:41 - 40:41] Why it sound like trash?
[40:41 - 40:43] I am all skin.
[40:43 - 40:45] See?
[40:45 - 40:46] Skin.
[40:46 - 40:47] Stretchy shit.
[40:47 - 40:49] You know, elastic shit.
[40:49 - 40:59] Stretchy skin shit.
[40:59 - 41:04] Oh, and by the way, I have a little something for you guys.
[41:05 - 41:10] And before anybody goes and says that I'm a trash can with arms and legs,
[41:10 - 41:12] all I have to say to you is this.
[41:12 - 41:15] Fight my shiny metal ass.
[41:15 - 41:18] And ain't some shining me shinier than yours, meatbag.
[41:18 - 41:29] Just saying.
[41:29 - 41:39] Oh, you mean like this?
[41:39 - 41:40] Yes, I can.
[41:40 - 41:47] And what does DST stand for?
[41:47 - 41:48] Don't stop joking.
[41:48 - 41:53] I mean, clearly, this guy doesn't know what he's doing.
[41:53 - 41:57] If you're joking that much, go to the fucking bathroom.
[41:58 - 42:00] That's why it's in the bath.
[42:00 - 42:01] Go to the bathroom.
[42:01 - 42:17] Truth in the bathroom.
[42:17 - 42:28] I would need a whole lot of shit to do with
[42:28 - 42:30] Darth Vader's voice, and I can't do it right off rip.
[42:30 - 42:34] I need certain shit to do that, and I unfortunately don't have that on here.
[42:34 - 42:44] Yo, Darth Vader's too.
[42:44 - 42:46] You're onto something with that.
[42:46 - 42:47] Darth Vader drifting.
[42:47 - 42:48] There's something with that.
[42:48 - 42:51] There's definitely something with that, my man.
[42:51 - 42:55] Yeah, no.
[42:56 - 43:02] And Gabriel M., the day that you get rid of Fluffy's name,
[43:02 - 43:04] the day you stop pretending to be Fluffy,
[43:04 - 43:07] it's the day that I will start doing that again.
[43:07 - 43:09] You're not Fluffy.
[43:09 - 43:11] You're not Gabriel Iglesias.
[43:11 - 43:12] You're not Fluffy.
[43:12 - 43:14] You're fake Fluffy.
[43:14 - 43:19] And what is Darth Vader drifting?
[43:24 - 43:27] Hey, yo, by the way, what is Darth Vader drift anyway?
[43:27 - 43:29] Does he drift a TIE fighter?
[43:29 - 43:31] Does he drift a regular car?
[43:31 - 43:32] What does that man drift?
[43:32 - 43:33] I want to know.
[43:33 - 43:36] Because obviously, not doing catches the mad fucking angle
[43:36 - 43:38] the last few days, bro.
[43:38 - 43:40] Obviously, not doing fucking tear shit up.
[43:40 - 43:42] So what, yo.
[43:42 - 43:47] Hey, Vader, what size range are you using on that thing, man?
[43:47 - 43:49] What size range do you use on the TIE fighter, bro?
[43:49 - 43:51] You're using 21s, 22s.
[43:51 - 43:53] What kind of camera are you using?
[43:53 - 43:55] What kind of body kit are you using?
[43:55 - 43:56] Let me know.
[43:56 - 43:58] I've been seeing you out there ripping it up, man.
[43:58 - 43:59] Have you seen that shit?
[43:59 - 44:02] Don't think I don't pay attention.
[44:02 - 44:13] Yeah, I feel bad for the Toyota.
[44:13 - 44:18] Because Toyota is getting drove a little too hard these days.
[44:18 - 44:20] Just saying.
[44:21 - 44:24] And I ain't talking about your 2Js, either.
[44:24 - 44:27] Shout out to all my 2JZ guys out there.
[44:27 - 44:30] But I ain't talking about no 2JZ Toyota.
[44:30 - 44:32] I'm talking about Toyota.
[44:32 - 44:33] You know, a little green dude.
[44:33 - 44:34] Damn, Yoda.
[44:34 - 44:35] I hate to say it, bro.
[44:35 - 44:40] Looks like Darth Vader is sending you two sideways there, homie.
[44:40 - 44:42] Hope he didn't crack a bumper.
[44:42 - 44:50] No, I can't.
[44:50 - 44:52] I've had several people ask me about that.
[44:52 - 44:54] No, I don't know how to do Marge Simpson.
[44:54 - 45:02] Like I said, dude, I done did.
[45:02 - 45:07] I mean, we all know that Darth Vader drives a Toyota.
[45:07 - 45:11] And like I said, Yoda, I feel bad if--
[45:11 - 45:17] I'm going to feel bad if you crack a bumper because of Yoda.
[45:17 - 45:18] Because of him, man.
[45:18 - 45:19] I feel bad, bro.
[45:20 - 45:24] I mean, if Darth Vader's driving you that hard, you need to beg him, hey.
[45:24 - 45:29] Tell him, hey, stop sticking your dick in my ass and driving me sideways.
[45:29 - 45:30] All right, seriously.
[45:30 - 45:34] Tell him to stop driving you sideways, man.
[45:34 - 45:39] Tell him to get that Vader dick out that ass and stop driving you sideways.
[45:39 - 45:41] Because clearly, you don't want to drift.
[45:41 - 45:43] Clearly, you're not a car for drifting.
[45:43 - 45:47] Clearly, you're a slow take your time kind of car.
[45:47 - 45:51] Just saying.
[45:51 - 46:11] Oh, yeah, what I already said is I already have what the worst time is.
[46:11 - 46:13] Honestly, right now, man, I fucking love hot pockets.
[46:14 - 46:20] Although, if I were to pick out a hot pocket, it wouldn't be gothic flavored.
[46:20 - 46:21] I'll tell you that right now.
[46:21 - 46:29] If I had to pick one hot pocket to not eat, it would be gothic flavored.
[46:29 - 46:29] Just saying.
[46:29 - 46:33] I don't think anybody wants that hot pocket.
[46:33 - 46:36] Anybody smart, that is.
[46:36 - 46:40] Hey, barbecue's the shit, bro.
[46:40 - 47:01] I don't think anybody wants that hot pocket.
[47:01 - 47:03] Just saying, dude.
[47:03 - 47:05] That hot pocket would taste nasty.
[47:05 - 47:18] Yeah, that's what gothi says every night.
[47:18 - 47:20] Let me blow this dude while I watch some porn.
[47:20 - 47:22] That's what she does every night.
[47:22 - 47:25] She blows the dude and watches porn every fucking night.
[47:25 - 47:28] That's a pretty sad life if you ask me.
[47:29 - 47:35] This Voldemort. You mean the big ball that has no nose.
[47:35 - 47:40] That looks like you got a fucking punch in the face with a pledge hammer.
[47:40 - 47:41] That guy.
[47:41 - 47:43] You mean, flat nose dude.
[47:43 - 47:46] That looks like you got dicks in the face by fucking Hulk Hogan.
[47:46 - 47:47] That guy.
[47:47 - 47:55] All right, well, what's with the nose Voldemort?
[47:55 - 47:59] I mean, dude, fucking... What happened, dude?
[47:59 - 48:01] Brock Lesnar punched you in the face again?
[48:01 - 48:05] All right, I warned you, Voldemort.
[48:05 - 48:10] I warned you not to fucking go against Brock Lesnar.
[48:10 - 48:12] I told you, man.
[48:12 - 48:16] Don't fight Brock Lesnar.
[48:16 - 48:17] But yet, what did you do?
[48:17 - 48:20] You fought him anyway, and look what happened.
[48:21 - 48:26] Your nose is permanently in your fucking skull, swatted fuck.
[48:26 - 48:30] I warned him, y'all.
[48:30 - 48:32] I told him not to fuck with Brock Lesnar.
[48:32 - 48:33] I fucking told him.
[48:33 - 48:40] I told him not to fuck with Brock.
[48:40 - 48:43] He wouldn't listen, and you saw what happened.
[48:43 - 48:46] Not my problem, dude.
[48:50 - 48:51] Brock Samson.
[48:51 - 48:52] Oh, my God.
[48:52 - 49:03] And why does Brock Samson sound like some dude
[49:03 - 49:05] that he's trying to be from the Simpsons?
[49:05 - 49:06] Like, what's up with that?
[49:06 - 49:09] Ever been to Dayton?
[49:09 - 49:10] Yes, I have.
[49:10 - 49:11] I went through, actually, I went through Dayton
[49:11 - 49:12] when I first moved in here.
[49:12 - 49:15] When we were first moving here to Ohio,
[49:15 - 49:17] we went right through Dayton, Ohio.
[49:17 - 49:17] Nice place.
[49:17 - 49:27] (silence)
[49:27 - 49:29] Ah, Alicia Keisha.
[49:29 - 49:31] Who are you trying to be?
[49:31 - 49:31] Keisha Cole?
[49:31 - 49:35] All right, if you're trying to be her bitch,
[49:35 - 49:40] yeah, you sound nothing like her.
[49:40 - 49:43] All right, if you're trying to be Keisha Cole,
[49:43 - 49:46] you might want to go to the music section
[49:46 - 49:49] on Spotify, listen to our music,
[49:49 - 49:52] and maybe then you might be able to sound like her.
[49:52 - 49:54] Just saying.
[49:54 - 50:01] (silence)
[50:01 - 50:03] Yeah, my phone's kind of, yeah, my phone.
[50:03 - 50:05] Hey, Alicia.
[50:05 - 50:10] My phone is like you, is like you, is like you right now.
[50:10 - 50:10] It's dead.
[50:10 - 50:14] My phone is like your sex life.
[50:14 - 50:15] It's dead.
[50:15 - 50:17] (silence)
[50:17 - 50:18] Just saying.
[50:18 - 50:21] My phone right now is like your sex life, Alicia.
[50:21 - 50:22] It's pretty much dead.
[50:22 - 50:25] (silence)
[50:25 - 50:26] Oh, yeah, what can I say?
[50:26 - 50:28] (silence)
[50:28 - 50:30] Riff on Burger Boy?
[50:30 - 50:32] Like I said, Burger Boy, he's...
[50:32 - 50:34] What can I say?
[50:34 - 50:35] He's Burger Boy.
[50:35 - 50:37] What can I say?
[50:37 - 50:39] He's a boy that eats burgers all the fucking time
[50:39 - 50:40] 'cause he's fat and fun.
[50:40 - 50:41] Fucking ugly.
[50:41 - 50:42] What can I say?
[50:42 - 50:45] (silence)
[50:45 - 50:49] Ah, look, we got the resume and glory hole up in here.
[50:49 - 50:52] (silence)
[50:52 - 50:53] Nah.
[50:53 - 50:56] (silence)
[50:56 - 50:57] What line?
[50:57 - 51:01] Hey, to Jesus Christ or whatever it is.
[51:01 - 51:03] I'm afraid to open up the lines.
[51:03 - 51:06] That's why I opened up your sister's lines last night
[51:06 - 51:08] and she fucking enjoyed that call I gave her.
[51:08 - 51:09] (silence)
[51:09 - 51:11] Yeah, your sister enjoyed that call
[51:11 - 51:13] I gave her when I opened up her lines last night.
[51:13 - 51:15] She enjoyed that shit.
[51:15 - 51:17] (silence)
[51:17 - 51:19] She loved that phone call.
[51:19 - 51:20] Let me tell you, bro.
[51:20 - 51:22] She really enjoyed that fucking phone call.
[51:22 - 51:24] (silence)
[51:24 - 51:25] A lot.
[51:25 - 51:27] (silence)
[51:27 - 51:29] That's why when you try to take that...
[51:29 - 51:31] That's why when you try to take that call...
[51:31 - 51:33] (silence)
[51:33 - 51:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[51:35 - 51:35] (silence)
[51:35 - 51:38] That's why I heard screaming on the other end of the line
[51:38 - 51:41] because that was me opening up her motherfucking phone line, bitch.
[51:41 - 51:50] (silence)
[51:50 - 51:51] Yeah, you can't even...
[51:51 - 51:52] Hey, Anakin.
[51:52 - 51:54] Why you wearing masks, bro?
[51:54 - 51:56] (silence)
[51:56 - 51:58] Ah, little Ani.
[51:58 - 51:59] (silence)
[51:59 - 52:01] Little Anakin Skywalker.
[52:01 - 52:04] Why did they name you Skywalker?
[52:04 - 52:07] I mean, you don't walk on sky or anything.
[52:07 - 52:08] You don't walk on air.
[52:08 - 52:10] (silence)
[52:10 - 52:15] I mean, the only air walking you do is when you moonwalk your ass
[52:15 - 52:18] back near a fucking pod to sleep at night.
[52:18 - 52:19] That's the only...
[52:19 - 52:21] That's the only walk in you do, bro.
[52:21 - 52:30] (silence)
[52:30 - 52:30] Roast Kate?
[52:30 - 52:31] (silence)
[52:31 - 52:33] Ah, whiz and whiz.
[52:33 - 52:37] And now, are we talking about Mary Kate and Ashley?
[52:37 - 52:39] (silence)
[52:39 - 52:40] Oh, no, no.
[52:40 - 52:41] Are we talking about...
[52:41 - 52:49] (silence)
[52:49 - 52:50] Kate.
[52:50 - 52:51] Kate, Kate.
[52:51 - 52:53] (silence)
[52:53 - 52:55] What can I say about Kate?
[52:55 - 52:59] (silence)
[52:59 - 52:59] Ah, yeah.
[52:59 - 53:02] Kate Peters.
[53:02 - 53:04] (silence)
[53:04 - 53:04] Hey, Kate.
[53:04 - 53:05] Who are you trying to be?
[53:05 - 53:06] (silence)
[53:06 - 53:07] Peter Griffin?
[53:07 - 53:09] (silence)
[53:09 - 53:11] Or Caitlyn Jenner?
[53:11 - 53:14] (silence)
[53:14 - 53:15] Which one are you trying to be?
[53:15 - 53:17] Caitlyn Jenner?
[53:17 - 53:19] Or Peter Griffin from Family Guy?
[53:19 - 53:20] (silence)
[53:20 - 53:22] I think you're picked.
[53:22 - 53:23] You can't meet both.
[53:23 - 53:24] (silence)
[53:24 - 53:28] I mean, I don't want to dress up as Peter while looking like Caitlyn Jenner.
[53:28 - 53:29] Just saying.
[53:29 - 53:36] (silence)
[53:36 - 53:39] And if that's how you roll, that's how you roll.
[53:39 - 53:43] (silence)
[53:43 - 53:44] Oh, you mean this wash?
[53:44 - 53:46] (silence)
[53:46 - 53:48] Why does everybody want me to do this wash?
[53:48 - 53:48] (silence)
[53:48 - 53:49] Why is that?
[53:49 - 53:50] (silence)
[53:50 - 53:50] Huh?
[53:50 - 53:51] (silence)
[53:51 - 53:53] Why is it that you want me to do the next wash?
[53:53 - 53:54] Why?
[53:54 - 53:55] (silence)
[53:55 - 53:56] Huh?
[53:56 - 53:57] What's up with that?
[53:57 - 54:04] (silence)
[54:04 - 54:06] Question that guy.
[54:06 - 54:07] Oh, that's saying comedy.
[54:07 - 54:09] That's what's going through our watch call.
[54:09 - 54:13] (silence)
[54:13 - 54:14] All right, watch out with that.
[54:14 - 54:16] (silence)
[54:16 - 54:19] But in all seriousness, though, man...
[54:19 - 54:29] (silence)
[54:29 - 54:30] Gothic figures.
[54:30 - 54:32] What even is a figure, honestly?
[54:32 - 54:34] (silence)
[54:34 - 54:36] Are you sure you're not meeting the other term?
[54:36 - 54:38] (silence)
[54:38 - 54:41] Because last time I checked, one, I'm not a bundle of sticks.
[54:41 - 54:44] (silence)
[54:44 - 54:46] But what is a figure?
[54:46 - 54:48] Like, are you talking about like a Fig Newton?
[54:48 - 54:50] Is that what you're talking about, a Fig Newton?
[54:50 - 54:54] (silence)
[54:54 - 54:56] Is that what you're talking about, a Fig Newton, bro?
[54:56 - 54:58] Is that what you're talking about?
[54:58 - 55:00] (silence)
[55:00 - 55:02] Because, bro, Fig Newton's are the shit, bro.
[55:02 - 55:05] (silence)
[55:05 - 55:06] Yeah, I know it is.
[55:06 - 55:09] (silence)
[55:09 - 55:12] But are you talking about like the little Fig Newton bars
[55:12 - 55:13] that you get at the grocery store?
[55:13 - 55:15] Because those things are fucking good, bro.
[55:15 - 55:17] If you got any, man, fucking send them over.
[55:17 - 55:18] (silence)
[55:18 - 55:19] Fucking love you some Fig Newton, man.
[55:19 - 55:21] I'll chat with those things all damn day.
[55:21 - 55:31] (silence)
[55:31 - 55:33] I think I don't want to change my name, Paul.
[55:33 - 55:44] (silence)
[55:44 - 55:46] Ah, Fadoodle.
[55:46 - 55:48] Fadoodle.
[55:48 - 55:50] Like, what's the name Fadoodle?
[55:50 - 55:51] Like, what's up with that?
[55:51 - 55:55] Like, are you trying to be a weird frog creature thingy, man?
[55:55 - 55:59] (silence)
[55:59 - 56:00] Like, what's a Fadoodle?
[56:00 - 56:03] That sounds like some sort of weird, not gonna lie, man.
[56:03 - 56:05] It sounds like a weird French dish.
[56:05 - 56:07] All right, am I wrong?
[56:07 - 56:11] Does a Fadoodle not sound like a weird French dish to you guys?
[56:11 - 56:12] Because it does to me.
[56:12 - 56:18] (silence)
[56:18 - 56:19] My little locale.
[56:19 - 56:20] What are you trying to be?
[56:20 - 56:22] A ripoff of My Little Pony, bro?
[56:22 - 56:25] All right, what's with that?
[56:25 - 56:26] My little locale.
[56:26 - 56:27] What are you trying to be?
[56:28 - 56:33] Are you trying to tell us that you're-- what do they call those things from--
[56:33 - 56:38] what do they call those people that are into My Little Pony?
[56:38 - 56:40] Like, what do they call those people?
[56:40 - 56:41] I keep forgetting the damn term.
[56:41 - 56:47] But one of those guys, are you trying to be one of them?
[56:47 - 56:53] (silence)
[56:53 - 56:54] Thank you.
[56:57 - 56:59] Like, are you trying to be one of them?
[56:59 - 57:00] Is that what you're saying, bro?
[57:00 - 57:03] Are you-- are you trying to be one of them?
[57:03 - 57:06] If so, no hate, man.
[57:06 - 57:07] No hate, just saying.
[57:07 - 57:17] (silence)
[57:17 - 57:18] What's a one-of-why?
[57:18 - 57:20] Like, what is a one-of-why?
[57:20 - 57:21] I don't get it.
[57:22 - 57:27] (silence)
[57:27 - 57:30] And actually, yes, I have eaten French food in my life.
[57:30 - 57:31] It's called French toast.
[57:31 - 57:34] (silence)
[57:34 - 57:37] All right, if you think about it, French toast is a French food.
[57:37 - 57:40] So technically, I have eaten French food.
[57:40 - 57:41] We all have.
[57:41 - 57:42] (silence)
[57:42 - 57:45] All right, who doesn't like a good thing of French toast in the morning?
[57:45 - 57:46] Let's be honest.
[57:46 - 57:48] (silence)
[57:48 - 57:51] Who doesn't love a good thing of French toast in the morning, man?
[57:51 - 57:52] (silence)
[57:52 - 57:52] I don't know why I do.
[57:52 - 57:56] I don't love making French toast in the morning, bro.
[57:56 - 57:58] (silence)
[57:58 - 58:00] Guy is a DJ zombie, though.
[58:00 - 58:02] He's a DJ zombie joke.
[58:02 - 58:04] Yeah, how can a dead guy DJ?
[58:04 - 58:08] That's not-- how can a dead guy--
[58:08 - 58:10] how is a zombie supposed to DJ?
[58:10 - 58:10] I mean, he's dead.
[58:10 - 58:14] I mean, the guy's got a falling off arm.
[58:14 - 58:17] You got a hand that's, like, halfway across the room.
[58:17 - 58:20] You got a leg missing that's laying down by the fucking table.
[58:20 - 58:21] So he's hopping on one leg.
[58:21 - 58:24] He's trying to fucking DJ with one hand and a kick.
[58:24 - 58:26] And he's got a missing finger.
[58:26 - 58:28] He's got, like, two missing fingers.
[58:28 - 58:31] So he's trying to do this and can't.
[58:31 - 58:33] So all you see is him trying to do this right here,
[58:33 - 58:37] trying to DJ while his fucking hand and feet fall off.
[58:37 - 58:42] So instead of calling you a DJ zombie,
[58:42 - 58:44] they should call you a DJ father part.
[58:44 - 58:50] (silence)
[58:50 - 58:50] Just saying.
[58:50 - 58:52] They should call you DJ follow part.
[58:52 - 58:54] Me not DJ zombie.
[58:54 - 58:55] DJ follow part.
[58:55 - 59:04] (silence)
[59:04 - 59:05] Panger and cat.
[59:05 - 59:07] (silence)
[59:07 - 59:08] Hmm.
[59:08 - 59:09] Panger and cat.
[59:09 - 59:12] Interesting combo.
[59:13 - 59:14] Very interesting combo.
[59:14 - 59:19] I mean, what even is a tangerine cat?
[59:19 - 59:24] Like, is it a cat mixed with a tangerine?
[59:24 - 59:29] Or is it a tangerine mixed with a cat?
[59:29 - 59:31] I never could figure that out.
[59:31 - 59:34] Like, what is a tangerine cat?
[59:34 - 59:36] Like, I don't get it.
[59:36 - 59:39] Like, does the cat have tangerines for eyeballs?
[59:39 - 59:43] Or does it have a tangerine for an ass?
[59:43 - 59:45] Or does it have tangerines for paws?
[59:45 - 59:46] I never could figure that out.
[59:46 - 59:51] Like, just saying.
[59:51 - 59:59] (silence)
[59:59 - 60:00] Roach Greicher.
[60:00 - 60:01] Ah, Greicher.
[60:01 - 60:04] One of the people I enjoy roasting most.
[60:04 - 60:09] You mean, the Canadian screech.
[60:10 - 60:13] That guy, the Canadian screech.
[60:13 - 60:15] Oh, and by the way, Greicher.
[60:15 - 60:16] Screech called.
[60:16 - 60:20] He wants his suspenders and his hair and his glasses back.
[60:20 - 60:24] 'Cause when you got a van, you kind of stole him from him.
[60:24 - 60:26] When you left, you kind of stole his stuff.
[60:26 - 60:29] So Screech kind of needs you to return his shit
[60:29 - 60:33] and stop pretending to be the Canadian version of him.
[60:33 - 60:34] Just saying.
[60:34 - 60:48] (silence)
[60:48 - 60:49] What can I say?
[60:49 - 60:56] Hi, and like I said, I already written on base showing.
[60:56 - 60:57] He's the one who beat Jafar.
[60:57 - 61:01] Just saying.
[61:01 - 61:02] He's the one who beat Jafar, dude.
[61:03 - 61:04] What can I say?
[61:04 - 61:11] Ain't my fault these guys don't know how to do anything.
[61:11 - 61:15] But as y'all, that would be it for this episode.
[61:15 - 61:18] Ah, content thieves.
[61:18 - 61:21] Content thieves.
[61:21 - 61:25] Interesting.
[61:25 - 61:31] Anyway, y'all, that will do it for this episode
[61:31 - 61:32] of Scrawl Scratch County.
[61:32 - 61:36] Hopefully you guys will be on tomorrow night, 10 o'clock p.m.
[61:36 - 61:38] for the next episode.
[61:38 - 61:46] And I will catch you guys tomorrow morning.
[61:46 - 61:47] Hopefully you guys have one.
[61:47 - 61:48] I know I did.
[61:48 - 61:53] And I will catch you guys in the next video, guys.
[61:53 - 61:54] If you guys would like to donate,
[61:54 - 61:57] all links are down below in the description.
[61:57 - 62:00] So if you guys did enjoy this, be sure to head on over there
[62:00 - 62:03] and hit that don't know on the PayPal or cash app.
[62:03 - 62:07] And I'll catch you crazy, motherfuckers.
[62:07 - 62:08] Tomorrow night, y'all.
[62:08 - 62:10] Peace.
[62:10 - 62:12] [END]