2022-6-9 SPeaking for those are bullied (Twitch)

[0:00 - 0:29] What's up guys? What is up, what is up my peoples? I don't know how to start this, so I'm just gonna...
[0:29 - 0:38] You know, speak from experience and myself and stuff that I've been through.
[0:38 - 0:45] If you guys don't know my story, well, you're about to find out real quick.
[0:45 - 0:55] If you guys are new, welcome, my name is Chance.
[0:58 - 1:03] Or you guys can call me the Toge Racer or, you know, Racer for short.
[1:03 - 1:19] But I really wanted to come on here and speak on something that I really and truly feel like is
[1:19 - 1:26] ignored. Way, way too much that we don't need to be ignoring.
[1:28 - 1:36] And that's a lot of the bullying that goes on on YouTube, on Twitch, on social media in general,
[1:36 - 1:39] or just bullying in general.
[1:39 - 1:52] Um, if you guys don't know my story about four years ago, I started getting bullied
[1:52 - 1:58] really bad by this troll that I had dealt with for many years on YouTube by the name of "Music
[1:58 - 2:09] Biz Marty". He started pulling some really just messed up stuff. And then he got this one girl
[2:09 - 2:17] by the name of Masshole Reports, who is a YouTuber as well. She ultimately pretended to...
[2:17 - 2:24] she's an adult female who pretended to be an adult female, who then turned around and
[2:24 - 2:28] pretended to be underage, just to fuck with me.
[2:28 - 2:43] Like, this is the kind of stuff that I've been dealing with for the last four years,
[2:43 - 2:53] but like, I've been dealing with being bullied, being talked down on.
[2:53 - 3:03] Um, if you guys look in the description of this live stream, that's a link to the shop that
[3:03 - 3:13] one of my bullies had made, basically attacking me, doing stuff like that.
[3:13 - 3:16] And this is the kind of stuff that I face every single day.
[3:16 - 3:29] Like, this is the kind of crap that I've faced over on YouTube. And I hate saying it,
[3:29 - 3:42] but some of it still affects me to this day. Like, I can't go out and get a regular job
[3:43 - 3:46] because of rumors being spread that I'm a supposed pedophile.
[3:46 - 3:52] When I'm not, I don't have a record. You guys can look it up. I have no record.
[3:52 - 4:02] Um, you know, because of stuff like that. And, you know, people just spreading really nasty,
[4:02 - 4:11] hateful things about me around town, on the internet. And it's never a good feeling to
[4:11 - 4:24] get bullied. You know, it really is never a good feeling to, you know, have to get put through that.
[4:24 - 4:36] And I can honestly say that I would not wish that kind of stuff on anyone.
[4:38 - 4:45] I would never wish for someone to get put through what I got put through.
[4:45 - 4:54] It's never okay. And it's not fun. It is never okay to get bullied.
[4:54 - 5:04] I've had friends that have gotten bullied. And sadly, those, my friends that did get bullied,
[5:05 - 5:13] unfortunately, some of them are no longer with us. Some of them did, unfortunately,
[5:13 - 5:21] take their own lives because of being bullied on the internet. And I myself, I have one point,
[5:21 - 5:29] like I said, had attempted to take my own life twice in a row because of being bullied myself.
[5:29 - 5:42] So I know very well how hard things can be. I know very, very well how evil and messed up
[5:42 - 5:50] people can truly be when they want to bully someone. I have seen bullying at its worst.
[5:51 - 6:01] And I would never in my whole life wish bullying, death or anything on my worst enemy. I might have
[6:01 - 6:10] said that stuff, but all the stuff I said was out of me being attacked and bullied and pushed
[6:10 - 6:22] and harassed. Like my family got attacked, friends got attacked. I lost a lot of opportunities
[6:22 - 6:29] as a musician and a music artist because of the bullying.
[6:33 - 6:40] I lost a lot of opportunities to make real money, not counting Twitch. I lost a lot of
[6:40 - 6:47] real opportunities to make some pretty good money because of these bullies.
[6:53 - 7:06] And it's never okay to, you know, go through being bullied. Like that kind of stuff is never
[7:06 - 7:13] okay because being bullied is what leads to depression. And depression ultimately leads
[7:13 - 7:21] to someone taking their own life. And that's never an okay thing. And I don't want you guys
[7:21 - 7:28] to feel like you have to take your own life. I want you guys to be able to be like, yo,
[7:28 - 7:35] I'm going through something. Can you help? And I will do my best to help you guys out in any way
[7:35 - 7:40] that I can. Whether it's sitting there and listening to you guys on voice chat, talk to
[7:40 - 7:47] me about your problems. Whether it's, you know, whatever it may be that you're needing.
[7:49 - 7:54] If it's not something that I can handle myself, I will do my best to guide you in
[7:54 - 8:06] the right direction and get you the help that you need.
[8:15 - 8:27] Not recently. And what it was is this person is a female adult who pretended to be another female
[8:27 - 8:39] adult who then pretended to be underage. Like it was a whole set up. And unfortunately,
[8:43 - 8:52] I was their victim.
[8:52 - 9:02] Yo, stern, what up, man?
[9:11 - 9:21] Who else? What up, man? Boomer, what up?
[9:34 - 9:44] And yo, Alex, are you are we talking about Alex? Let me ask you, what was this person's name?
[9:44 - 9:51] Like, what was this person's name? Because I want to see if we're thinking about the same person.
[9:51 - 9:54] Because the person that did this to me
[9:54 - 10:03] actually has a very long history of doing this to other people.
[10:03 - 10:11] Hey, John Cena. Nah, man.
[10:11 - 10:21] Are you talking about? Are you talking about my soul reports?
[10:21 - 10:31] Who's real name? I will not mention on here. Like, I know her real name, but I'm not gonna
[10:31 - 10:42] mention it out of respect for certain people. Because I'm not gonna stoop to that level.
[11:01 - 11:08] I know, dude. She really is. But like I said, man, I'm not here to just talk about
[11:08 - 11:14] what I've been through, man. I want you guys to be able to use my story.
[11:14 - 11:23] You know, I want you guys to be able to use my story and get inspiration.
[11:25 - 11:33] Because it's like I always tell you guys, you guys being okay helps me to be okay as well.
[11:33 - 11:40] Like, you know, you guys might not know that you guys help me out just as much as I help you.
[11:40 - 11:46] You really do like you guys do help me out a lot more than you realize.
[11:46 - 11:58] [silence]
[11:58 - 12:00] Oh. [coughs]
[12:00 - 12:29] [silence]
[12:29 - 12:33] Exactly. You know, and like I said, I want to be able to be
[12:33 - 12:42] that voice for people like myself that get bullied every day. You know, because I said, growing up,
[12:42 - 12:52] I was bullied my whole life. I was that kid that would always, you know,
[12:53 - 13:01] get my head dumped in the toilet and get it swirly. And I was that kid that always got shoved
[13:01 - 13:08] in the lockers and got beat up. I was that kid growing up. And even through high school,
[13:08 - 13:17] I was still that same kid that had to fight all the time. And I hated fighting. I absolutely hated
[13:17 - 13:34] it. Dude, it's the worst. I'm not even gonna get into how bad they were for me. I'm not even gonna
[13:34 - 13:44] get into the smell and how bad it was for me, dude. It is so bad. Oh, I wouldn't wish that on
[13:44 - 13:59] anyone, dude. But, you know, like I said, I want you guys to be able to take my story of what I've
[13:59 - 14:12] been through and use it to help yourselves. And going back to before the bullying, I'm sure a
[14:12 - 14:25] lot of you have, I'm sure a lot of you guys that do know my history, for those of you that don't
[14:25 - 14:34] know my full history, not on YouTube, but as a person. To be honest, I shouldn't even be alive
[14:34 - 14:46] today. I really should not be alive today at all. By all medical counts, I should be dead right now.
[14:46 - 14:55] When I was born, I was born one pound 10 ounces with one kidney and one very severely underdeveloped
[14:55 - 15:07] lung. And my skin was so translucent and thin that the doctors had to wrap me in special medical
[15:07 - 15:16] saran wrap and put me in an incubator for six months so that my skin kept thicken up to what
[15:16 - 15:31] it is now. And after that, I was put on a oxygen tank to help me breathe until I was about maybe
[15:31 - 15:37] four or five years old. The doctors gave me a 1% chance at living.
[15:43 - 15:48] Like the doctors literally gave me a 1% chance of survival.
[15:48 - 16:06] But yet, against, call it fate, call it whatever you want. Call it, you know, God's work, call it
[16:06 - 16:20] what you will. But somehow, I survived and I'm still here. And, you know, growing up,
[16:20 - 16:35] I always wanted to be that kid that helped people. You know, I always wanted to be that kid that
[16:35 - 16:46] helped everyone. And ultimately, that's why I started doing music. You know, growing up,
[16:46 - 16:57] like I said, I was constantly bullied. I was constantly, you know, put down. I was constantly,
[16:57 - 17:07] you know, just beat up and all kinds of stuff at school. But then when I got out of high school,
[17:07 - 17:19] I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I knew that I wanted to do music. But it wasn't until
[17:19 - 17:31] I was about 23, when I had somebody that was following my channel on YouTube a while back.
[17:33 - 17:42] And they had sent me a message on one of my old channels telling me how my music helped them to
[17:42 - 17:49] get through being bullied. Because this person was being bullied at school. And then they came
[17:49 - 17:58] home and they would get bullied again. And like, something in that message just really resonated
[17:58 - 18:07] with me. And it was in that moment that I knew, like, this is what I want to do. I want to do
[18:07 - 18:16] music and help people. I want to make music so that I can help others like myself by sharing my
[18:16 - 18:23] story of, you know, what it's like to go through depression, what it's like to be bullied, what
[18:23 - 18:30] it's like to, you know, wake up with that sinking feeling when you're being bullied, what it's like,
[18:30 - 18:40] what it's truly like inside my head during those times on YouTube when I wanted to and was actually
[18:40 - 18:52] about to take my own life and had attempted those very actions twice. And thankfully,
[18:52 - 19:01] you know, I failed and I'm still here, thankfully. And that's why I do my music to kind of, you know,
[19:01 - 19:09] help people, kind of show you guys that you're never alone. There's always someone that you
[19:09 - 19:17] guys can reach out to, whether it's myself, whether it's each other, you know, whether it's,
[19:18 - 19:23] you know, a family member, a friend, you know,
[19:23 - 19:31] you know, there's always someone out there for you guys to talk to.
[19:31 - 19:39] And trust me, I know what it's like to want to keep it hidden
[19:39 - 19:48] and not want to say anything because you feel like it's easier to not say anything.
[19:48 - 19:56] Than to say something and potentially be judged. So I understand because
[19:56 - 20:08] I was that person that hit it. I kept that stuff hidden for so long from my family. And then
[20:08 - 20:17] when all these people on YouTube drug them into the garbage that I was dealing with,
[20:18 - 20:31] like my family really saw what I was getting put through. This time last year, guys, I was not okay.
[20:33 - 20:53] Like this time last year, I was so severely depressed that I was not eating.
[20:55 - 21:05] I was sleeping all the time. I was always angry. And due to me not eating and me being
[21:05 - 21:14] depressed like I was, I almost ended up in the hospital twice because I wasn't eating. It was,
[21:14 - 21:23] it was a hassle for me to get up out of bed because I was so depressed. And
[21:23 - 21:30] then, you know, it was that second time of me being in the, you know, being
[21:30 - 21:40] possibly going to the hospital. Then I really realized that I need to get my stuff together.
[21:42 - 21:54] Like it really made me realize that I need to get away from all this. I need to get away from
[21:54 - 22:13] the bullying. I need to prepare myself. And yeah, that's why I got rid of my YouTube channel.
[22:15 - 22:31] Like that's why I left YouTube because I wanted to start over. I wanted to be able to
[22:33 - 22:46] have, you know, just a brand new fresh start. And, you know, I know I say it all the times,
[22:46 - 22:56] but I just, I cannot thank you guys enough for allowing me to share my story and hang out with
[22:56 - 23:05] you guys. And, you know, the fact that you guys give me the chance to do something I love doing
[23:05 - 23:13] with my music and my artwork and, you know, hanging out with you guys and gaming out, like
[23:13 - 23:26] you guys just really have no idea how much that stuff means to me.
[23:26 - 23:32] Like I could say it a million times, but
[23:32 - 23:51] it just doesn't add up to how grateful I am to you guys.
[23:51 - 23:59] Oh, God.
[24:20 - 24:24] Goodbye. I'm going home. You are not welcome here.
[24:24 - 24:39] And matter of fact, I want to share something, guys. I want to share something with you guys
[24:41 - 24:59] that that's helped me along my journey. And this song I listen to almost on a daily basis.
[25:07 - 25:13] And for those of you that don't know,
[25:13 - 25:23] for those of you that don't know fully what it's like to deal
[25:23 - 25:33] with depression and deal with somebody that is in crisis,
[25:34 - 25:42] I want to give you guys an inside look. Both of these songs are by a military
[25:42 - 25:48] rap group that I actually know on a very personal level by the name of Red Con One Music Group.
[25:48 - 25:55] Now, what Red Con One Music Group is, is they are a group of veterans
[25:55 - 26:04] who served in our military and some still active, and they make music to help our troops.
[26:04 - 26:15] And a lot of the songs not only speak out for our veterans, but a lot of them speak out on
[26:15 - 26:24] you know, suicide and depression. And I really feel like being depressed, this song really,
[26:24 - 26:33] it really illustrates it very, very well. So I'm going to sit down and I want to let you guys hear
[26:33 - 26:40] this song called "Night Terrors" by Red Con One Music Group, featuring Stephen Hobbs, Panda, and
[26:40 - 26:50] their main artists and founder, Soldier Hart. Shout out to Red Con One Music Group, man.
[26:50 - 26:56] I eat, sleep, and breathe efficiency. I'm looking for someone who appreciates.
[27:02 - 27:08] So for those of you that don't know, like this song really, like I said, it really encapsulates
[27:08 - 27:15] what it's like to go through depression, what it's like, and what people like me go through.
[27:15 - 31:12] [Music]
[31:12 - 31:20] And the answer to question, Jesse, no I did not. That was actually by my good friends of Red Con One Music Group.
[31:20 - 31:26] Shout out to Soldier Hart and everybody on Red Con One Music Group. You know, I fucking love you guys. You guys are awesome.
[31:26 - 31:34] [Silence]
[31:34 - 31:50] The, you know, one person that I think, you know, speaks on it best,
[31:50 - 32:06] that speaks on the situation the best is this man right here. And I know you guys recognize this man's voice like it's nothing.
[32:06 - 32:10] [Music]
[32:10 - 32:22] I don't know if anybody out there can relate, but like I have a hard time with life sometimes. Sometimes it's great. But a lot of times for me, it's really hard. And no matter how I'm feeling,
[32:22 - 32:36] like I always find myself like struggling with certain patterns of behavior, I find myself like stuck in like the same thing that keeps repeating over and over again. And I'm just like, how am I in this?
[32:36 - 32:47] It's that moment where you're in it and then you're going to separate yourself from that situation and you look at it and you see it for what it is and you're able to then do something about it.
[32:47 - 32:52] Like you've now broken out of that circle, that cycle.
[32:52 - 33:00] Is it a, are you kind of, the first couple of lines in the track make me think that you were like overthinking things in your life?
[33:00 - 33:14] I mean, honestly, like there's so many circumstances that for me that relate to this situation, but like I know that for me when I'm inside myself and I'm in my own head,
[33:14 - 33:26] this place right here, this skull between my ears, that is a bad neighborhood and I am, I should not be in there alone. I can't be in there by myself.
[33:26 - 33:31] What are you talking about? It's insane. It's crazy in here.
[33:31 - 33:42] This is a bad place for me to be by myself. And so when I'm in that, like I get, my whole life gets thrown off. Like if I'm in there, like I don't say nice things to myself.
[33:42 - 33:55] Like there's another Chester in there that's like wants to take me down. And so, and I find that it could be whether it's substances or whether it's behavior or whether it's like depressive stuff or whatever it is.
[33:55 - 34:07] Like if I'm not like actively like getting out of myself and being with other people, like being a dad, being a husband, being a bandmate, like being a friend, helping someone out.
[34:07 - 34:23] Like if I'm out of myself, I'm great. If I'm inside all the time, I'm horrible. I'm a mess. And so for me, it's like that was kind of where I don't like my mind right now stacking up problems that are so unnecessary.
[34:23 - 34:35] You know, that's where that kind of, that was where that came from for me. And, um, and that's, but it's the moment where it's like, I drive myself nuts.
[34:35 - 34:43] Like actually thinking that like all these are real problems, like all the stuff that's going on here is actually just, I'm doing this to myself.
[34:43 - 34:55] And, um, regardless of whatever that thing is. And so this is that like conscious awareness of that thing. And like, when you, when you can step back and look at something, like you're actually elevating yourself consciously.
[34:55 - 35:04] Like you're, you're, you're enlightened at that point, to a certain degree. And so this is that moment of enlightenment where you go, you know, I could do something about this.
[35:04 - 35:12] And by doing it, I can move forward and get in stuff. And this, and I could actually be able to, for me, it's like, I can live with life on life's terms.
[35:12 - 35:20] Like I can experience the whole spectrum of humanity and not want to get out of it, whether it's happening to sadness or whatever.
[35:20 - 35:25] I just want to, like when I'm in it, I just want to get out of power for it.
[35:25 - 35:29] So when you wrote this song, you were clearly in that bad neighborhood in your brain.
[35:29 - 35:34] This time last year, I was a mess, like a total wreck.
[35:34 - 35:46] You know, and like, I think for a lot of people, like if you're successful, like all of a sudden, like you get hit a green, like you get like some card in the mail that says like, you're going to be totally satisfied and happy for the rest of your life.
[35:46 - 35:54] It, it doesn't happen like that. Like, life for me happens the way it always, it's my, the only difference is I'm in Lincoln Park.
[35:54 - 36:03] Like what goes on inside my head, it's always been, it's always been, so when I'm not working on that, like my life gets messy.
[36:03 - 36:08] And that's kind of the, the inspiration for all these songs.
[36:08 - 36:11] Let's see if you guys recognize this song.
[36:11 - 36:19] That man that you guys just saw.
[36:19 - 36:29] Is.
[36:29 - 36:38] This guy right here.
[36:40 - 36:51] You guys might recognize this one.
[36:51 - 37:36] This one.
[38:02 - 38:04] Honestly, no, dude.
[38:04 - 38:12] Um, believe it or not, for me, my music is my antidepressant.
[38:12 - 38:26] So for me, I found telling my story through my music to be the best form of therapy for me at least.
[38:26 - 38:32] So in a way, I guess you could say I am taking an antidepressant.
[38:32 - 38:38] It's just that antidepressant just happens to be my music.
[38:53 - 38:58] And, yo, Puma, let's see if you recognize this one, dude.
[38:58 - 39:01] You might recognize this one.
[39:01 - 39:08] This one.
[39:33 - 39:36] What up, man?
[39:36 - 39:39] Have a nice train, buddy.
[39:39 - 39:49] I was confused.
[39:49 - 39:54] This one, dude.
[39:54 - 40:30] This one.
[40:56 - 41:00] Bro, Caustics, I did not know that.
[41:00 - 41:03] I will definitely check that out.
[41:03 - 41:14] I will definitely check that out, Caustics.
[41:14 - 41:17] Thank you so much for filling me in, bro.
[41:19 - 41:29] Now, I am going to do a song for you guys that really helped me to cope with a lot of my demons
[41:29 - 41:37] and allowed me to take that negativity and turn it into something beautiful.
[41:38 - 41:40] This one.
[41:40 - 42:02] People will tell you, "Why don't you go get some help?
[42:02 - 42:05] Take some meds.
[42:05 - 42:07] Go see a counselor.
[42:07 - 42:10] Now, they can help you with your problems."
[42:10 - 42:13] Some people can never understand.
[42:13 - 42:16] It's a rule inside your head.
[42:17 - 42:20] Lately, I've been distant from the world in a quiet place.
[42:20 - 42:22] 'Cause I cannot be wired differently.
[42:22 - 42:23] I can't embrace.
[42:23 - 42:25] From all the hurt and all the pain.
[42:25 - 42:26] Can you feel my rage?
[42:26 - 42:27] Growing up was bullied.
[42:27 - 42:29] They consider me and that's the case.
[42:29 - 42:30] Things have changed.
[42:30 - 42:32] The past has done it over with.
[42:32 - 42:33] Why I keep on throwing on it?
[42:33 - 42:35] Why my thoughts so cancerous?
[42:35 - 42:36] Why my best rent has to die?
[42:36 - 42:38] God, can you please answer this?
[42:38 - 42:41] Why am I still agonizing on my left relationship?
[42:41 - 42:44] Baby, I'm a promo ticket shot on C&W.
[42:44 - 42:45] You can hear my stomach.
[42:45 - 42:46] Drama reason.
[42:46 - 42:47] I can never stand a line.
[42:47 - 42:48] I'm throwing from the stomach.
[42:48 - 42:50] I can probably stand humble.
[42:50 - 42:51] I'm so good at struggle.
[42:51 - 42:53] I can sign my fucking tongue.
[42:53 - 42:56] If I'm just a really kill, best believe I will be dead.
[42:56 - 42:59] I am now in saving lives and sometimes I forget.
[42:59 - 43:02] 'Cause I'm demutating for that really hanging by a brick.
[43:02 - 43:05] Maybe I should pull this trigger and just lay my mind to rest.
[43:05 - 43:07] Yeah, I'm lost in the music.
[43:07 - 43:08] This is therapeutic.
[43:08 - 43:09] Barely digging on.
[43:09 - 43:12] I don't know if I can do this.
[43:12 - 43:14] But I rise when I fall.
[43:14 - 43:15] And I rise when I fall.
[43:15 - 43:18] I don't know anymore.
[43:18 - 43:20] Look at my reflection.
[43:20 - 43:21] Have you embraced me?
[43:21 - 43:24] Maybe you wish that I was dreaming.
[43:24 - 43:26] But I rise when I fall.
[43:26 - 43:27] And I rise when I fall.
[43:27 - 43:30] I don't know anymore.
[43:30 - 43:32] I know your life ain't dangerous.
[43:32 - 43:34] I can see it in your eyes.
[43:34 - 43:35] You can't even stand yourself.
[43:35 - 43:36] Your past's haunting you.
[43:36 - 43:38] So you go to rhyme a little,
[43:38 - 43:39] toss a-turning every night,
[43:39 - 43:41] debating if it even helps.
[43:41 - 43:42] You quit the party,
[43:42 - 43:43] quit the drugs,
[43:43 - 43:44] quit the reefer.
[43:44 - 43:46] And now you think it's problem solved
[43:46 - 43:47] 'cause you changing people.
[43:47 - 43:48] You wake a miserable.
[43:48 - 43:50] It's clean feeding off the evil.
[43:50 - 43:52] Take my hand tonight and knock your promise.
[43:52 - 43:53] You'll be always peaceful.
[43:53 - 43:54] What about my family?
[43:54 - 43:56] I can't leave them in a disarray.
[43:56 - 43:59] Give it time and never won't forget about you anyway.
[43:59 - 44:00] What about my fans?
[44:00 - 44:02] Any effect I have made on them?
[44:02 - 44:03] Find another source.
[44:03 - 44:04] Do not worry.
[44:04 - 44:05] They will all amends.
[44:05 - 44:06] It's better if you don't.
[44:06 - 44:08] Do not act like you have any friends.
[44:08 - 44:09] Heaven don't insist.
[44:09 - 44:10] This is it.
[44:10 - 44:11] When you take my hand,
[44:11 - 44:12] voices are getting louder.
[44:12 - 44:13] You can't fight.
[44:13 - 44:14] Invest inside your will.
[44:14 - 44:15] Join me on the darker side.
[44:15 - 44:17] Throw the drink that's at help.
[44:17 - 44:18] Lost in the music.
[44:18 - 44:19] This is better.
[44:19 - 44:20] Filled it fairly.
[44:20 - 44:21] You get none.
[44:21 - 44:24] I don't know if I can do this.
[44:24 - 44:25] Will I rise?
[44:25 - 44:26] Will I fall?
[44:26 - 44:27] Will I rise?
[44:27 - 44:28] Will I fall?
[44:28 - 44:30] I don't know anymore.
[44:30 - 44:32] Look at my reflection.
[44:32 - 44:33] Angel versus demon.
[44:33 - 44:36] Wish that I was dreaming.
[44:36 - 44:37] Will I rise?
[44:37 - 44:38] Will I fall?
[44:38 - 44:39] Will I rise?
[44:39 - 44:40] Will I fall?
[44:40 - 44:41] Will I rise?
[44:41 - 44:42] Will I fall?
[44:42 - 44:43] I don't know anymore.
[44:43 - 44:44] I feel like giving up though.
[44:44 - 44:45] Some things I can't explain now.
[44:45 - 44:46] I feel like giving up though.
[44:46 - 44:47] Some things I can't explain now.
[44:47 - 44:48] Will I rise?
[44:48 - 44:49] Will I fall?
[44:49 - 44:50] Will I rise?
[44:50 - 44:51] Will I fall?
[44:51 - 44:52] I don't know anymore.
[44:52 - 44:53] Will I rise?
[44:53 - 44:54] Will I fall?
[44:54 - 44:55] Will I rise?
[44:55 - 44:56] Will I fall?
[44:56 - 44:57] Will I rise?
[44:57 - 44:58] Will I fall?
[44:58 - 44:59] I don't know anymore.
[44:59 - 45:00] Will I rise?
[45:00 - 45:01] Will I fall?
[45:01 - 45:02] Will I rise?
[45:02 - 45:04] Will I fall?
[45:04 - 45:05] I don't know anymore.
[45:05 - 45:32] Now for those of you that don't know what signs to look for when it comes to depression
[45:32 - 45:45] and suicide this song very much encapsulates it to the fullest and once again shout out
[45:45 - 46:14] to the Red Con 1 music group.
[46:15 - 51:37] We're going to the Red Con 2 music group.
[51:37 - 51:45] This is something that very, very few get the chance to do.
[51:45 - 51:47] And I'm not going to waste this opportunity.
[51:47 - 51:52] I'm going to use every single resource that I can to help people like myself.
[51:52 - 52:03] Whether that be doing instrumentals for them, if they're in music, I can help them out
[52:03 - 52:09] or I can get any contact with people that do music as well.
[52:09 - 52:14] Or whether they just want to sit down and talk and have an ear to listen to.
[52:14 - 52:28] I want to be able to do that.
[52:28 - 52:32] And that's why I do my music like I do.
[52:32 - 52:38] That's why if you go to my SoundCloud, all my music may be depressive music.
[52:38 - 52:44] But they all speak on real things that I was dealing with.
[52:44 - 52:47] Whether that be depression.
[52:47 - 52:51] Whether that be feeling alone.
[52:51 - 52:54] Whether that not be wanting to do anything.
[52:54 - 53:05] I have different songs for every point in my life that I've been through.
[53:05 - 53:10] And shout out to JZX100C.
[53:10 - 53:12] What's up, buddy?
[53:12 - 53:15] How you doing, man?
[53:15 - 53:20] How is you doing today, man?
[53:20 - 53:46] For myself.
[53:46 - 53:49] Yeah, here's the thing, dude.
[53:49 - 53:51] I don't.
[53:51 - 53:53] Dude, I've never once played violin.
[53:53 - 54:00] I may have played keyboard a time or two and I may have played guitar, but I've never once played violin, dude.
[54:00 - 54:05] Not once have I ever played violin.
[54:05 - 54:34] And that right there shows that you, my friend, are a troll.
[54:34 - 54:40] That right there just shows that you're a troll.
[54:40 - 54:59] And that's why I chose this song right here for you guys because I do want to be a legend for you guys.
[54:59 - 55:09] I want to go down in history as that dude that stepped up and said, hey, let's do something for these people, man.
[55:09 - 55:19] I want to be that dude that goes down in history and is like, yo, I want people to be able to look back on my streams and on my videos
[55:19 - 55:26] and look back on my music and be like, yo, that dude freaking did something worthwhile.
[55:26 - 55:29] That dude is a badass dude.
[55:29 - 55:32] That guy right there, I want to be like that guy.
[55:32 - 55:45] That guy went out of his way and helped everybody that he could and gave back.
[55:45 - 55:54] As soon as I can get them, yes, I do.
[55:54 - 56:05] But those things that I just spoke on just now, that's why I chose this song for you guys because this song is my promise to you guys
[56:05 - 56:33] that I am going to go down in history as a legend.
[56:33 - 57:02] And that's why I chose this song right here for you guys because that's why I chose this song right here for you guys.
[57:02 - 57:31] That's why I chose this song right here for you guys because this song is my promise to you guys.
[57:31 - 58:29] That's why I chose this song right here for you guys because this song is my promise to you guys because this song is my promise to you guys.
[58:29 - 58:57] That's why I chose this song right here for you guys.
[58:57 - 59:55] That's why I chose this song right here for you guys because this song is my promise to you guys because this song is my promise to you guys.
[59:55 - 60:06] Oh, Virgil's theme. Yo Virgil's theme is badass.
[60:06 - 60:35] Virgil's theme is freaking dope, dude. Virgil's theme is so sick.
[60:35 - 60:45] Don't get me wrong, dude. I love Virgil, bro, but me, I'm more of a Dante guy. I kind of got his attitude, honestly, bro.
[60:45 - 60:59] Not even kidding, bro. I have Dante's attitude. You can ask any of my personal friends and they will tell you that I am a freaking smartass just like Dante, bro.
[60:59 - 61:20] I have got that smartass attitude, dude. I'm that dude whenever we're in a screwed up situation, I'm always that dude to crack the freaking wise cracks, man.
[61:20 - 61:33] I'm always that dude to freaking bust out the freaking wise cracks in the most messed up times. That's me.
[61:33 - 61:38] I'm that dude. I'm that dude sitting over in the corner while everybody's fighting.
[61:38 - 61:47] Like if there's a if there's a fight breaking out in a bar, I'm the dude sitting there cracking jokes about the both of those two fighting.
[61:47 - 62:02] I'm that dude.
[62:02 - 62:14] Dude, Nero is one of my favorite characters, man. Nero is a freaking beast. Oh, my God, dude. Dante's nephew Nero, bro.
[62:14 - 62:26] Don't even get me started on how badass that dude is.
[62:26 - 62:35] The guy's got a freaking detachable arm that he can literally take off and throw at somebody if he really wanted to.
[62:35 - 62:43] Like, how crazy is that? The dude can literally just take his arm off and chuck it at somebody if he wanted to.
[62:43 - 63:12] He just he just think I think I'm going to pop and just throw it at someone, crack him in the head.
[63:12 - 63:28] And what you jealous of, man?
[63:28 - 63:37] Dude, that was so great. I remember that. Oh, my God. That was great.
[63:37 - 63:45] One thing I can say about Nero, bro, when it comes to Nero, he has his attitude when it comes to that crap.
[63:45 - 63:56] He's got Dante's smart attitude. Oh, my God.
[63:56 - 64:05] I don't. Well, the one I have is an off brand regular one, but it works really, really well.
[64:05 - 64:09] I'm not sure what brand it is, though. I have to look.
[64:09 - 64:17] But the webcam I'm using right now is actually the built in one on my Chromebook.
[64:17 - 64:30] Oh, right. That's awesome. That would be freaking awesome, dude.
[64:30 - 64:35] Bro, that would be not going to lie.
[64:35 - 64:48] And then he can crack. Then you can literally crack the joke and be like, hey, don't make me take my arm off and beat you with it.
[64:48 - 65:01] Oh, thanks, bro. Dante's Michael Jackson shit.
[65:01 - 65:14] Yes, I agree, dude, 100 percent. Nothing can top that.
[65:14 - 65:22] You know, it's crazy, dude, is one of my exes, Abby, actually had a biomechanical arm.
[65:22 - 65:29] She actually had she had lost her arm many, many years ago.
[65:29 - 65:42] And whenever we would hang out and stuff like and I did, you know, see her all the time, she would always like when she was back home where she was and I was here, she would always crack the joke.
[65:42 - 65:47] Don't make me take my arm off and reach through the screen and beat you with it.
[65:47 - 65:51] And I was like, no, thanks.
[65:51 - 65:57] I'll pass on. I'll pass on the mechanical ass beating.
[65:57 - 66:04] I will pass on the mechanical butt whooping. Thank you anyways.
[66:04 - 66:16] I will pass. I'm good.
[66:16 - 66:21] Yeah. My graphics floor for 20. What up, dude? Welcome to the stream, man.
[66:21 - 66:30] And, yo, oh, yo, old Jewish. Welcome to the stream, brother.
[66:30 - 66:58] Oh, my God. Yes, Dragon Ball Z abridged is my freaking stuff, bro. Oh, my God. Yes. Dragon Ball Z abridged is freaking hysterical, dude. Oh, my God. Yes.
[66:58 - 67:06] My favorite line has to be in Dragon Ball Z abridged, episode one.
[67:06 - 67:14] Crumb, why didn't you get them? Hey, I was bitch slapped through a house. What's your excuse?
[67:14 - 67:26] Hands down, my favorite line by Krillin right there. Hey, I was bitch slapped through a house. What's your excuse?
[67:26 - 67:39] Oh, my God. My favorite line of all time right there. Yes.
[67:39 - 67:57] Dude, and I'm telling you right now, if you have not watched it, look up Bento abridged. I actually did a reaction on it, ironically. I actually did a reaction on episode one of Bento abridged. It's literally B-E-N-T-O abridged.
[67:57 - 68:14] It is. Oh, my God, bro. You have, dude, just me talking about it. Don't do it justice. You literally have to watch it. It is that good.
[68:14 - 68:37] I haven't heard either of those in a while, but once I get them down, sure. Once I figure out how to do them again, yeah, I definitely probably will.
[68:37 - 68:58] But dude, while we're talking about abridged series, my number one favorite abridged series, it would have to be a toss up between Resident Evil 4 abridged, Hellsing Ultimate abridged, or probably Zelda abridged.
[68:58 - 69:17] And yes, I'm a Zelda fan. I have been since I was a kid. But between those three, it's hard to choose because Resident Evil 4 has its funny moments, and Zelda has its funny moments, and then Hellsing Ultimate, oh, my God.
[69:17 - 69:40] Don't even get me started on freaking Alucard and Hellsing abridged, man. Oh, my gosh.
[69:40 - 70:03] Huh, that's weird, man. That is definitely weird. That is very, very weird.
[70:03 - 70:26] Leo, to everybody in the chat, man, for everybody that's in the chat and on Discord, what are some stuff that, like, I was gonna ask you guys this, like, way earlier in the stream, but I want to know now, like, what are some things that you guys would like to see come to the stream, like, as far as, like, redeem points?
[70:26 - 70:38] Like, what's some stuff that you guys would like to get out of, you know, redeeming cups of coffee? Like, what kind of stuff would you guys want for redeeming cups of coffee?
[70:38 - 70:50] Like, would you guys want some really cool stuff? Put some ideas in the comments, and I'll definitely take them into consideration.
[70:50 - 70:58] Yes, I have, dude. Oh, my God.
[70:58 - 71:20] Dude, don't even get me started on Attack on Titan, bro. I can go on for hours about that shit. I swear.
[71:20 - 71:30] Alright, so if you don't know, you guys can redeem cups of coffee here for different stuff.
[71:30 - 71:42] For a pure example, let's say that you redeemed a thousand points, or in this case, cups of coffee, you would get something really cool.
[71:42 - 72:01] And I can help with the ideas to reward you guys for that, whether that be, you know, doing a certain song, whether that be, you know, making a song that you guys, you know, choose the style of, or whatever, you know?
[72:01 - 72:12] Stuff that you guys want to hear or see me do, you guys will be able to do through reviewing those cups of coffee.
[72:12 - 72:26] I don't really know that song that well, dude. I've actually tried that song and, dude, that song is, oh, my God, dude, that song is hard.
[72:26 - 72:35] Like, I've been playing guitar since I was a kid, bro, and even for me, that song is hard.
[72:35 - 72:48] Like, for real, that song is, holy cow, dude.
[72:48 - 72:55] And believe me, I've tried learning that one. That one is freaking hard.
[72:55 - 73:09] Yeah, I know. Here's the thing, dude. I know Japanese. I can write it. I can speak it, but I cannot sing in Japanese.
[73:09 - 73:25] Like, dude, getting me to sing in Japanese is like me trying to freaking run a marathon, bro. That ain't happening anytime soon. Just like.
[73:25 - 73:33] Okay, a little bump back for you guys. In case you guys didn't know, when I was in high school, I did actually learn Japanese.
[73:33 - 73:44] I learned how to write it, speak it, all that stuff on my own time, actually, because I actually have a couple of friends that actually live in Japan.
[73:44 - 73:50] So that was a pretty cool thing.
[73:50 - 74:00] Okay, I thought you were talking about the original Japanese dub. I was like, bro, good luck with that one.
[74:00 - 74:07] Good luck with that one, bro.
[74:07 - 74:13] No shit. That's awesome.
[74:13 - 74:19] Oh, yo, John, I call it a financial.
[74:19 - 74:31] Are you?
[74:31 - 74:44] Well, John, don't call it a question. Did your name get inspired by Doc Holiday from a little house on the Prairie by any chance?
[74:44 - 74:58] Well, I just wonder, did that get inspired by a little house on the Prairie at all? Just curious.
[74:58 - 75:07] Yeah, I know. I just say, and I'm weird. I'm a fucking weirdo.
[75:07 - 75:16] Oh, okay, okay, okay. I gotcha. Yo, tombstones a good movie and a good series.
[75:16 - 75:37] I've seen the tombstone series and I've seen the movie man, both freaking amazing.
[75:37 - 75:48] Ooh.
[75:48 - 75:50] And true.
[75:50 - 75:56] I'll be your huckleberry. Yeah, dude, that is so old. Oh my God.
[75:56 - 76:19] Yeah, y'all got me feeling old over here, man. Shit.
[76:19 - 76:26] Hey, here's one. Here's a funny one for you guys. Let's see if you guys know what show this line is from.
[76:26 - 76:45] But my shiny metal ass. Let's see if you guys know what that one's from.
[76:45 - 76:55] Nice.
[76:55 - 76:58] There you go.
[76:58 - 77:12] Freaking bender, dude.
[77:12 - 77:22] Freaking bender is one of my favorites straight up by your boy bender.
[77:22 - 77:30] I love it. I love it.
[77:30 - 77:40] Bro, when it comes to, I have to say is when it comes to drunk jokes, bender is freaking God.
[77:40 - 77:53] When it comes to cracking drunk jokes, when it comes to cracking jokes about booze, yo, that man is straight God.
[77:53 - 78:21] That dude's got so many freaking beer jokes. Bro, I can't even count. I can't even count how many beer jokes that man's made.
[78:21 - 78:50] Why, dude, bender's such a freaking wise ass. They're like, I can't even keep up with how many jokes that dude's made.
[78:50 - 78:58] Hold up.
[78:58 - 79:03] But yeah, bro, you guys really want to see how messed up my haters are.
[79:03 - 79:19] Like this is how pathetic these guys are. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, man.
[79:19 - 79:40] Let's see. Hold on. Yo, I'm trying to like really trying to find the area.
[79:40 - 79:44] Y'all want to see something hilarious, man.
[79:44 - 79:53] This is how like the guy that up church talks about in this video. This is how crazy these trolls are towards me.
[79:53 - 80:00] Shout out to Ryan Upchurch, by the way, man. Shout out to the Creek Squad. We love you guys.
[80:00 - 80:13] You guys, I promise you, man, you guys are about to die laughing. I can promise you that right now, dude.
[80:13 - 80:24] Hey, alright, Lola.
[80:24 - 80:31] Sorry, I was looking at that blazer. What's up, fam? Oh, excuse me. My thumb is not hooked up to anything's ringing.
[80:31 - 80:37] Hello? Oh, it's a gobblehead.
[80:37 - 80:41] What do you want, you goofy fuck? Oh, who's on the phone? A gobblehead.
[80:41 - 80:52] Oh, John Gobby, aka Johnny Gobble, aka Tootie Fruity, aka Spooky Dookey, aka the Purple Rain Prowler, aka the Onion Dome Garden Gnome.
[80:52 - 80:57] You ever seen this fucking video? It's probably not. It jerks around all the fucking time. Fucking jerky turkey.
[80:57 - 81:02] You little fucking chicken shit. You probably don't even shave. You probably just pluck butthole, folks.
[81:02 - 81:07] Your head look like a crusty gray elbow. You ain't fooling nobody, motherfucker.
[81:07 - 81:16] And everybody watching knows exactly who you are. You're that motherfucker standing outside a goddamn shelf at one o'clock in the morning in the middle of the fucking country.
[81:16 - 81:27] You hear crickets at the fucking gas station. You're sitting there throwing up gang signs in your dusty ass shins in your dirty ass red flat bill hat with a big gold puffy dollar sign on it.
[81:27 - 81:32] Hey, man, you wouldn't like having to have a square, would you mind? I'd get a square around here. Have you got a liar?
[81:32 - 81:38] Hey, yeah, yeah, stay fucking, stay right there. I mean, toss it to you. Your arm is really dirty.
[81:38 - 81:48] It looks like it's been an elephant's ass recently. Then you just, like, let it dry on there for a good two minutes, so it's like half dry, half wet elephant feces on your arm.
[81:48 - 81:55] Then he's like, "Fuck it, I'm just gonna wipe it off with a dry paper towel and go on about one day. My man is dead, talk to me!"
[81:55 - 82:00] Well, yeah, he's like, "Yo, last to take a bath, fucking." I mean, goddamn, what you smoking last week, motherfucker?
[82:00 - 82:05] Climbing trees to film cops with your fucking outfit? Could you imagine being the cop, dude?
[82:05 - 82:15] I would love to see that dash game. The cop wakes up, makes his coffee, kisses his wife, leaves, birds are chirping his shit, he gets in a squad car.
[82:15 - 82:20] He drives down the street and he sees fucking doodle bobs, SpongeBob's arch enemy in a fucking tree.
[82:20 - 82:24] It's the man! There he is! There's a man!
[82:24 - 82:26] I'm not a man.
[82:26 - 82:30] Then the tree limb breaks and he falls and hits the fucking ground and takes off running.
[82:30 - 82:32] The cop's like, "Where is he going?"
[82:32 - 82:35] I can answer that for you, fucking. There's only two places he can be.
[82:35 - 82:41] One, at his grandma's house, licking the fucking screen every time I make a video, like fake kissing it in the mirror and watch it.
[82:41 - 82:45] Fuck you, I hate you. I fucking hate you, dumb bitch.
[82:45 - 82:47] Stay behind it.
[82:48 - 82:51] [Laughter]
[82:51 - 82:53] We're in a bush somewhere roosting.
[82:53 - 82:54] Oh!
[82:54 - 82:55] [Laughter]
[82:55 - 83:01] And not his old lady's bush neither. He's still in the back, locking the door, just pausing videos of me kissing it.
[83:01 - 83:04] Joe, you've been in the bathroom a long time, though you do.
[83:04 - 83:06] [Laughter]
[83:06 - 83:09] Ah, man! I'm thinking about the mayor!
[83:09 - 83:12] [Laughter]
[83:12 - 83:15] What is up with your obsession with your mayor, bro?
[83:15 - 83:17] Mad? Because the mayor won't talk to you.
[83:17 - 83:20] Really mad at me because you think I talk to the mayor.
[83:20 - 83:22] Are you talking to my mayor? I think you are.
[83:22 - 83:26] Bro, I think you want some sugars from the mayor, is what you want.
[83:26 - 83:29] Oh, God. Next thing, you don't even come out with a Bob Marley remix.
[83:29 - 83:35] I'm not the mayor, but I didn't fuck up you.
[83:35 - 83:42] I mean, for God's sake, she posted a picture the other day in front of your fucking town hall that says, "Princeville, Kentucky," wearing a Chicago shirt, saying,
[83:42 - 83:49] "I'm on every window now and I'm running for city council, wearing a shirt that's another city, not our city, a different one."
[83:49 - 83:53] So right after he announced he was running for city council for Chicago, Kentucky,
[83:53 - 83:56] the police had to come and pick him up and take him to jail.
[83:56 - 83:59] When they got there, he was so fucking scared of the cops.
[83:59 - 84:04] The cop was like, "Fuck it, bro. Your daughter can put you in the car."
[84:04 - 84:17] Oh, good thing a cop came and picked him up and not the fucking mayor he has a crush on.
[84:17 - 84:20] That'd be weird, because mayors can totally drive cop cars.
[84:20 - 84:24] That'd be one annoying ass car ride for the mayor.
[84:24 - 84:32] Now that y'all have a pretty good idea on how whacked out a lot of these trolls are, man,
[84:33 - 84:42] that's how crazy these guys are, bro.
[84:42 - 84:50] That's how insane these guys have been towards me on what I now call a dead tube.
[84:50 - 84:58] These guys are literally that obsessed, bro. It is so bad.
[84:58 - 85:06] They'll find anything, I mean anything to mess with me about at all.
[85:06 - 85:09] It don't matter if it's a small thing or a big thing.
[85:09 - 85:13] They will freaking go at me, dude.
[85:13 - 85:20] Especially that Marty guy, that video describes him to the team.
[85:20 - 85:31] What that dude is, he's got a few screws loose upstairs, just saying.
[85:31 - 85:37] The dude needs help, for real.
[85:37 - 85:39] Thanks, y'all. I'm about to bounce up off of here.
[85:39 - 85:43] I'm about to kick in and chill. I'm about to check out my Discord.
[85:43 - 85:50] I will catch you guys later on, probably tomorrow.
[85:50 - 85:55] That was all you guys. Hopefully you guys have a good rest of your night, evening, afternoon,
[85:55 - 85:58] morning, wherever you guys are at.
[85:58 - 86:02] I will see you guys tomorrow, man. Love you guys.
[86:02 - 86:08] As always, stay humble, stay positive, keep being awesome, and more pointy, keep being you, man.
[86:08 - 86:11] We're going to love you guys, man. I'll catch you out tomorrow, dude.
[86:11 - 86:13] Peace.
[86:13 - 86:18] [ Silence ]