2022-5-30 SAPPHIRE ENVY MEMORIAL SHOW

[0:00 - 0:15] [silence]
[0:15 - 0:17] What's up everybody?
[0:17 - 0:33] [silence]
[0:33 - 0:43] You know, I didn't think I would find myself doing this again so soon.
[0:43 - 0:48] [silence]
[0:48 - 0:53] I really truly did not think I would be doing this again this fucking soon.
[0:53 - 1:07] [silence]
[1:07 - 1:17] And for those of you that came to pay respects, I just wanted to say thank you.
[1:17 - 1:21] Yo, Jose, I want to mod you up, brother.
[1:21 - 1:45] [silence]
[1:45 - 1:52] Wait for boogeyman to get up in here as well. Well, not on panel, but in...
[1:52 - 2:02] [silence]
[2:02 - 2:26] Actually, no, I was not.
[2:26 - 2:30] You're very right, Jose. She definitely was, bro.
[2:30 - 2:39] And Jose, by the way, bro, if you do see any disrespectful comments, bro, you are more than welcome to get rid of them, bro.
[2:39 - 2:54] If you see any disrespectful comments in any way, get rid of them at your will.
[2:54 - 3:05] What up, sis? I'm glad to see you here, man.
[3:05 - 3:15] And yes, I would like to wish all of our veterans out there, all of our men and women out there that have served by happy Memorial Day,
[3:15 - 3:27] and thank you for your service, 110%. And that's not just coming from a city, that's coming from a member who's my dad who was in the Army himself.
[3:27 - 3:33] My dad was the 82nd Airborne Division, United States Army Staff Sergeant.
[3:33 - 3:51] So to not only my dad, even though I can't stand him as a person, but not only to him, but to everybody out there that has served, I'd like to say thank you.
[3:51 - 4:01] And you know, when I had Kendall on panel last year, she was right about something. Heather was abusive in a lot of ways.
[4:01 - 4:08] I'm not denying it and I'm not hiding it. She really was abusive in a lot of ways.
[4:08 - 4:14] But at the same time, I still hold respect for her.
[4:14 - 4:24] I still hold respect that even though she did all this fuck shit, she tried to be there for at least two of her kids.
[4:24 - 4:49] Not much I will give her.
[4:49 - 5:03] Actually, I did not, dude. You need to correct yourself. And as I said, setting aside everything that was said, yes, me and Heather had our back and forth moments.
[5:03 - 5:12] I am not denying that. We did have our back and forth moments where she would talk shit on me and I would talk shit on her.
[5:12 - 5:22] But that's just how it was. But regardless of whether we got along or not, doesn't matter.
[5:22 - 5:29] Regardless of whether me and her got along, it does not matter in the slightest.
[5:29 - 5:47] What does matter is that two awesome kids who I know personally lost their mother.
[5:47 - 5:57] Two kids that are the most well-behaved kids that I know of lost their mother.
[5:57 - 6:08] And no child deserves to lose their mom or any parent at that young and age like that, man.
[6:08 - 6:22] So this show is for anybody in here that would like to post in the comments or share memories or whatever, you know?
[6:22 - 6:43] Heather was an integral part of all of our communities. And Sisnak and the vendor boys, Courtney and her people, Marty and his people, no matter who you were, she was an integral part of all of our communities in some way, shape, or form.
[6:43 - 7:03] There's no denying that. She was all part of our communities in some way, shape, or form. There's no denying it.
[7:03 - 7:19] And honestly, I would really appreciate it if all you trolls would set aside your differences for tonight.
[7:19 - 7:30] I love it. I love it.
[7:30 - 7:47] For any of you out there, this song is for you guys. This song is a reminder to hold those close to you tight because you never know when they're gone.
[7:47 - 7:57] You never know when the person you love is going to be gone out of your life for good or passed away and never come back.
[7:57 - 8:09] So this song is a reflection of that. And Heather reminds us all of that to live each day to the fucking fullest and not look back.
[8:09 - 8:18] If you got fucking dreams, you fucking go for that shit and don't look back.
[8:18 - 8:29] Stop giving a fuck what people think about you and do you. That's one thing that I can honestly say that I haven't gained from her.
[8:29 - 8:58] Aside from some pizza jokes, but in all seriousness though, that is something that she always fucking taught me is to live your life to the fullest every fucking day and stop giving a fuck about what little fucking pricks have to fucking say about you.
[8:58 - 9:08] I'm the latest hashtag challenge. Everyone on social media is trying to.
[9:08 - 9:22] But if you don't have the right auto insurance coverage, you could be left to pay for all of this itself. So get all state.
[9:22 - 9:41] I want to see those R.I.P. sunfires and R.I.P. Headings going to be gone right the fuck now.
[9:41 - 9:59] Soon everyone, the time comes and all of us say goodbye. Feel that aching in your heart, the only way you walk and get inside.
[9:59 - 10:09] But you're never really gone, as long as there's a memory in your mind.
[10:09 - 10:29] So now go do the best things in life. Think about on this world while you can. Think the most of the rest of your life. Think about on this world while you can.
[10:29 - 10:47] Take no one to talk, hold your toes because there is no time. And don't let it break your heart, knowing it feels hopeless sometimes.
[10:47 - 10:57] But you're never really gone, as long as there's a memory in your mind.
[10:57 - 11:19] So now go do the best things in life. Think about on this world while you can. Think about on this world while you can.
[11:19 - 11:38] Hold on to memories. Hold on to memories to keep them alive.
[11:38 - 11:56] In a world where there's treasure, songs to not not remember, to not know how.
[11:56 - 12:06] So now go do the best things in life. Think about on this world while you can.
[12:06 - 12:22] Think about on this world while you can. Think about on this world where there's treasure, to not know how.
[12:22 - 12:34] So now go do the best things in life. Think about on this world while you can. Think about on this world while you can.
[12:34 - 12:56] So now go do the best things in life. Think about on this world while you can.
[12:56 - 13:24] Keep them alive. In a world where there's treasure, songs to not remember, to not know how.
[13:24 - 13:34] So now go do the best things in life. Think about on this world while you can.
[13:34 - 13:54] Keep them alive. In a world where there's treasure, songs to not know how.
[13:54 - 14:22] Can I survive? Can I survive?
[14:22 - 14:48] And I'm going to have to ask you all right now, all of you that are in the comments talking shit and running your mouths, I'm going to ask you one time respectfully to please shut your mouths and stop what you're doing and stop being disrespectful.
[14:48 - 15:02] This is a memorial show for a fucking friend. This isn't a typical stream. So please be respectful or please feel free to see yourself off the stream.
[15:03 - 16:41] Thank you.
[16:41 - 17:08] Now this here is a song that I did not know about until just a couple years ago that Heather herself got me hooked on and it is ironic because it describes my life and it to me is screamed out and cry for help from her anyway.
[17:08 - 17:22] Almost like she wanted to get out of the posture that she was in, but didn't have a way to actually get out of it.
[17:22 - 17:30] And 15 exceeding expectations.
[17:30 - 17:50] People are switching around.
[17:50 - 18:07] On my way down the face again on the word she wouldn't say that the game she played with my own footage.
[18:07 - 18:14] Oh, I should have known this from the start.
[18:14 - 18:25] For the winter and spring, going hand in hand just like my love and pain.
[18:25 - 18:43] How far we just keep the place in the vein, when these things crash across country.
[18:43 - 19:12] I don't want to make that like the game, don't want to be let down the same old word, don't want to be let down, don't want to make that like the game, don't want to be let down the same old word.
[19:12 - 19:23] Over the years down the train, love was not enough when you want everything.
[19:23 - 19:30] Why can't you hear now the end result?
[19:30 - 19:59] Oh, I should have listened to my heart, don't want to be let down, don't want to make that like the game, don't want to be let down the same old word, don't want to be let down, don't want to make that like the game, don't want to be let down the same old word, don't want to be let down, don't want to make that like the game, don't want to be let down the same old word.
[19:59 - 20:28] The same old word.
[20:28 - 20:57] I don't want to make that like the game, don't want to be let down the same old word, don't want to be let down, don't want to make that like the game, don't want to be let down the same old word, don't want to be let down the same old word.
[20:57 - 21:26] Love, don't want to be let down the same old word, don't want to be let down the same old word, don't want to be let down the same old word.
[21:26 - 21:55] Okay.
[21:55 - 22:24] You know, the mutual customizes your insurance, pay for what you need, like customize this scarf, and this song right here, guys, only pay for what you need this song right here, I think describes how we're all feeling right now.
[22:24 - 22:48] Come on, sometimes, sometimes you don't say goodbye once, say goodbye over and over and over again, over and over and over again, sometimes, sometimes you don't say goodbye once.
[22:48 - 22:56] Say goodbye over and over and over again, over and over and over again.
[22:56 - 23:09] So if the month since he passed, maybe last, no one knew what to do, we were such a mess. We were guessing, we were calling, we were checking in. We said we ought to play the show and I don't know if I'm correct.
[23:09 - 23:22] And now let's say we're starting to hear him say it's good to go, the whole game's aged in the light, the friends and a family in his name, there's no way that I'm gonna be ready to get back before they say it.
[23:22 - 23:32] Can't remember if I can't find any shows and I think about who, what I'm supposed to do and I don't know, they were thinking about knowing it the same way as before.
[23:32 - 23:41] He doesn't want to keep on talking, he doesn't want to talk. We're in for a month, I'm not worried 'bout the stack. When the tactics find the truth, sometimes you got to lose the stack.
[23:41 - 24:01] This is what we're doing when the pain is in your head. If we ain't doing something, we're renewing my head sometimes, sometimes you don't say goodbye once, say goodbye over and over and over again, over and over and over again.
[24:01 - 24:14] Sometimes sometimes you don't say goodbye once, you say goodbye over and over and over again, over and over again, over and over again.
[24:14 - 24:24] We're saying I'm not wrong, what the fuck you taking me for? There's something you hear when I say I'm gonna win the floor, I'm the coach, I'm the track, drove myself to hell with Jack.
[24:24 - 24:31] In the back, got them horses in the field, got me strapped. How you feeling, how you doing, how you doing, yo, yo.
[24:31 - 24:38] This is what he's saying, he's saying the truth, he's saying I don't know, nobody takes his hands, he's just a dojo.
[24:38 - 24:48] I'm almost tossing in the middle of a double song, everybody's head's on to his eyes, wow, must be really hard to figure what to do now.
[24:48 - 24:54] We think you can, you sit, think it'll be a challenge to a life's work, hanging the fucking balance.
[24:54 - 25:01] You're like one of course to get a little bit closer, you better take my time for what it wasn't any closer.
[25:01 - 25:17] Sometimes when you say goodbye, yeah, you say goodbye over and over and over again, over and over again.
[25:17 - 25:33] Over and over again, over and over again. Sometimes, sometimes you don't say goodbye once, you say goodbye over and over again, over and over again.
[25:33 - 25:47] Over and over again, over and over again, over and over again, over and over again, over and over again.
[25:47 - 26:40] [MUSIC]
[26:40 - 26:52] Dogs are amazing, fleas, not so much, so get Capstar to start killing fleas in just 30 minutes.
[26:52 - 26:58] Kill fleas fast with Capstar.
[26:58 - 27:11] Now before I start this next one, I do want to say something very fucking important, and this isn't just for my mods, this isn't just for my fucking trolls, this is for everybody that fucking hates my guts.
[27:11 - 27:21] And I'm not trying to make this about me because it's not, but this is something that I know Heather would have fucking wanted out of all of us.
[27:27 - 27:36] Maybe if we all stopped looking at how different we are, and started looking at how fucking alike we are, we might actually get the fuck along.
[27:42 - 27:51] I don't know about you guys, but I want to build a community of good shit, not a community of negative ass bullshit.
[27:53 - 28:11] I want to be cool with everybody. I don't want to fight nobody. I don't want to go after anybody. I don't know about you guys, but just like Heather, I want a community of positivity, of good fucking shit, where no one fucks with anybody, and we're all fucking cool with each other.
[28:11 - 28:21] Because at the end of the day, we all bleed red. At the end of the day, we are all the fucking same on the inside, and we all bleed motherfucking red.
[28:21 - 28:28] We are all human at the end of the day, and it's time we wake the fuck up and started realizing that.
[28:31 - 28:36] You're no different from me, I'm no different from you, and we're no different from each other.
[28:39 - 28:42] We are no different from each other.
[28:46 - 28:51] And this song illustrates that in a very good fucking way.
[40:37 - 40:43] Now I know a lot of you guys know about the abuse that she put me through.
[40:43 - 40:46] And I'm not gonna hide it.
[40:46 - 40:50] There was a lot of abuse there when we and her were together.
[40:50 - 40:55] And I know this is supposed to be a memorial show in remembrance.
[40:55 - 40:59] But I wanna make this about everything.
[40:59 - 41:02] The good times, the bad times, everything.
[41:02 - 41:04] So we never forget those.
[41:04 - 41:09] And this song right here definitely does speak on the abuse that I went through.