2022-3-29 Plans from here on Out

[0:00 - 0:20] (I'm not sure what to say here)
[0:20 - 0:45] Good morning evening everyone. I know it's like insanely early in the morning, but I felt like this video and what I'm about to say had to be said.
[0:45 - 1:13] You see, the last three years I've been relentlessly tortured, harassed, bullied, and kicked down so bad and tormented so bad by very evil people that I now suffer from depression.
[1:13 - 1:37] And some, and also I do suffer from undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD for short because of all the years of being bullied,
[1:37 - 1:50] all the years of being relentlessly tormented and harassed and pushed to my limit and beyond.
[1:50 - 2:13] And when I say relentlessly tormented, I don't mean just like, you know, your typical average, you know, internet wannabe thug. I mean, these people are very, very evil people to where they have nothing to lose so they do not care.
[2:13 - 2:31] These people will literally pick someone apart when they're at their lowest and not give a single fuck.
[2:31 - 2:45] But I'm here today to say this, that from here on out, all that harassment stops.
[2:45 - 3:03] All the ripping me off and copyright infringement against me, all the defaming me, all the shit that these people have done to me over the last three years is gonna stop today.
[3:03 - 3:16] Because I am 31 years old. I have a fucking business that I just started thanks to a very good friend of mine helping me get it going.
[3:16 - 3:28] I have a great support team. One of the people who is part of that support team is actually right here in the chat. One of my good friends, Chris, aka Nylit.
[3:28 - 3:37] If you guys don't know who Nylit is, look him up on YouTube. That's this man right here. Be sure to give him a follow, man.
[3:37 - 3:47] Because this dude's content is actually very, very good. So if you guys are on YouTube, be sure to hit him up, man. Follow him over there. Check his stuff out.
[3:47 - 4:05] I always, I collab with him on almost every video, almost. Like I do create stuff for him. So if you guys hear the music in the background of those videos, that was done by me personally. You're welcome.
[4:05 - 4:33] But over the last three years, people have, you know, they really have just completely and utterly
[4:33 - 4:57] just humiliated me. They have put it to the point to where my dignity and my being a human being was almost gone.
[4:57 - 5:16] Like I wouldn't have given it one or two more years or even just a handful of months. And I would have broke.
[5:16 - 5:26] I was at a breaking point that I would not wish on my worst enemy.
[5:26 - 5:50] And my good friend Chris here, as well as many of many others of you guys have seen, I have been through so much shit that I did not deserve nor ask for.
[5:50 - 6:04] And it has put, for the last three years, it has put a detriment on my music as an artist.
[6:04 - 6:19] It has taken money out of my pocket to be able to provide for my family and to be able to give back to those that have helped me along the way.
[6:19 - 6:38] It has taken my ability to help up and going artists that I know are very, very talented that actually have a shot in music.
[6:38 - 6:52] But I am going to say this warning not to start a fight, but this is merely a fair warning to anyone out there that thinks they are going to fuck with me ever again.
[6:52 - 7:16] That thinks they are going to steal from me, that thinks they are going to commit copyright infringement against me or use my image or my likeness without my knowledge or my permission or say so or anything I do ever again.
[7:16 - 7:40] Alright? You guys are going to stop. Because if I see any of that going on, I will immediately have my team file a cease and desist.
[7:40 - 8:06] And I do not care how many times it has to happen, I will do so to protect my personal property, my intellectual property, and to protect my future of being able to do music full freaking time.
[8:07 - 8:23] Because that is my aim in life, is to help people through my music.
[8:23 - 8:42] I want to be able to help people that are in my position, that do get bullied, that do get harassed, that do get picked on and put down.
[8:42 - 8:53] I want to help those people the same way that this man right here that I am about to show you, helped me.
[8:53 - 9:15] Now the man you are about to see is actually a very near and dear friend to me. Some of you might know him, some of you might not.
[9:15 - 9:31] But the first song I would like to play for you guys is one of the ones that helps me in a very big way.
[9:31 - 9:41] So I would like to give a massive shout out to this man in the video you guys are about to see.
[9:41 - 10:07] I would like to give a huge shout out and a huge thank you to Redcom One Music Group, but most importantly I would like to give a huge shout out and an even bigger thank you to the head artist and founder of that label, Soldier Heart.
[10:07 - 10:19] And this video you guys are about to see applies not only to war, but it applies to everyday life and what people like me go through.
[10:20 - 10:22] Thank you.
[10:23 - 14:10] (music)
[14:10 - 14:30] Let me tell you, there is no other way that I can describe what I went through day after day and night after night.
[14:30 - 14:50] I can't even begin to put it into words, the nightmares, the hell that I had to face for the last three years, non-stop everyday.
[14:50 - 14:59] But I do hope that this song right here shows you guys very, very well.
[14:59 - 15:12] One of my last three years have been like everyday and every night when I go to sleep.
[15:12 - 15:25] As like these t-shirts in this video say, it's like the t-shirts in this video say, when you go to sleep, you go to sleep.
[15:25 - 15:32] When I go to sleep, I go to war.
[15:32 - 15:38] And that's what my life has been like for the last three years, a constant war.
[15:38 - 15:42] And I hope this shows you guys just what I've been through.
[15:42 - 15:48] And I hope that it helps you if you guys are in that position. I hope that this helps you.
[15:48 - 19:58] (music)
[19:58 - 20:10] Hello, everyone.
[20:10 - 20:14] Just soldier hard, man.
[20:14 - 20:20] I can't thank you enough for making the music that you make.
[20:20 - 20:30] I say, man, that music has helped me a lot more than you think.
[20:30 - 20:42] So if Jeff, aka soldier hard, thank you, man, for everything that you've done, like, for real.
[20:42 - 20:49] And I'm not even fucking, like, just saying that because you're a good friend to me.
[20:49 - 21:03] I'm saying that out of somebody that goes through that shit, out of somebody that has survived multiple suicide attempts,
[21:03 - 21:21] somebody that has been through depression, somebody that has been kicked down to the lowest that you can possibly fucking get to
[21:21 - 21:27] and somehow made it out by the skin of my teeth.
[21:27 - 21:35] How I survived? I don't know. I really don't know.
[21:35 - 21:57] (typing)
[21:57 - 22:05] Wait.
[22:05 - 22:15] I'd be lying if I said there weren't times where, you know, things completely broke down for me.
[22:15 - 22:29] (typing)
[22:29 - 22:33] And that's very true.
[22:33 - 22:51] But for anyone out there that is going through what I went through, that is seriously thinking about suicide,
[22:51 - 23:03] I can honestly say I don't blame you for thinking that way because I was there. I have survived multiple attempts.
[23:03 - 23:21] Over the last three years, I have survived multiple attempts. And this last time that I tried, which was back last year,
[23:21 - 23:31] that final time when I failed, I realized that I'm meant to be here.
[23:31 - 23:40] And that day, I got sent this video that I'm about to show you.
[23:40 - 24:00] And to anybody out there that is having thoughts about it or is there, just know that it's not your fault.
[24:00 - 24:11] You got put there by a bunch of fucking people that want to see you suffer.
[24:11 - 24:17] And you're not alone in this fight.
[24:17 - 24:29] I even put out songs in the past where I talk about that stuff, where I talk about what it's like to be on the edge of suicide,
[24:29 - 24:39] what it's like to, you know, go through depression on a daily basis and feel like you're not worth anything.
[24:39 - 24:56] But let me tell you something. A very, very close friend of mine sent me this video, and let me tell you, it helped me so much.
[24:56 - 25:05] And I hope that you guys seen this. We'll get help out of it, too.
[25:05 - 25:19] So if you are thinking about it and you're in that spot right now, this very second, I want you to put those thoughts aside.
[25:19 - 25:29] I want you to put down whatever it is, whether it's a gun, a knife, a rope, whatever it may be.
[25:29 - 25:38] I want you to put it down just for a few minutes and watch this video.
[25:38 - 25:43] That's all I ask. And I hope that this helps you.
[25:43 - 25:51] I want to give a shout out to this man, Clayton Jennings. This video literally saved my fucking life.
[25:51 - 25:56] And I hope that it can save yours as well, if you are there.
[25:57 - 26:34] [Music]
[26:34 - 26:40] Please don't kill yourself. I'm talking to you. And I don't pretend to know everything that you've been through.
[26:40 - 26:46] But if it's shame, you feel just know that I was into. And if it's vain, you're feeling just know that that's something I went through.
[26:46 - 26:52] I don't know your story, but I know you and me are a lot alike. So let me talk to you for a minute while I got this mic.
[26:52 - 26:56] I was 18 when I pulled a gun out. At the time, it felt like my options had run out.
[26:56 - 27:03] So I put that barrel to my chest and I pulled the trigger halfway. I tried to muster up the courage to put myself away that day.
[27:03 - 27:08] But halfway into that trigger pull, I stopped. Tears flowed in my eyes and that pistol dropped.
[27:08 - 27:13] And I sat in my room and I sobbed for an hour. On the outside, I was fine. On the inside, a coward.
[27:13 - 27:19] The noise of my depression, it got louder and louder. I had planned a way out in a baptism shower of gunpowder.
[27:19 - 27:24] I've been lied to just like you're being lied to now. Other people can't help you, but I might know how.
[27:24 - 27:29] Because I've walked in your shoes and I've been at my lowest. And if you don't know anything, know this.
[27:29 - 27:35] You might tell me you're going to kill yourself when you're close to this. But God wants to meet you in the middle of your hopelessness.
[27:35 - 27:42] God wants to give you a way out of these feelings of doubt. And the sounds of chaos might be reverberating around you like heavy metal.
[27:42 - 27:47] But confusion isn't for God, it's straight from the devil. And he wants to silence the noise and bring peace to you.
[27:47 - 27:53] And I promise if you just ask him, he'll see you through. You got to this place because you tried fighting your own fight.
[27:53 - 27:59] And where did that get you except contemplating about taking your own life? And if you got bullied at this point, I'm sorry you ripped through that.
[27:59 - 28:05] But God wants to take those words from your attackers and send them back. You don't have to be defined by what people said about you.
[28:05 - 28:11] Let me pick you up. If you don't know how to, you're not alone, man. You got a friend in me. You got better days ahead of you.
[28:11 - 28:15] I just pray you begin to see. Know that everything the devil did to you, he wants you to replay.
[28:15 - 28:21] But everything the devil took from you, God wants to replace. Listen to me right now and you better look me right in the face.
[28:21 - 28:28] You were created for more than to die in this place. Don't do it man. Please don't take your life. Just take my hand and we'll make this right.
[28:28 - 28:35] I promise if you do this, you'll regret it. You'll wake up in eternity and remember I said it. And you wish so bad you could just go back.
[28:35 - 28:40] I'm here for you right now. Please just know that. And if you think you're alone in this fight, you've been lied to.
[28:40 - 28:46] That depression came after me and I nearly died too. I'm not suicidal, the only way death was meant for me.
[28:46 - 28:52] The devil played his music and I sat front row through that symphony. I walked through the fire and I felt that heat.
[28:52 - 28:57] But I pushed past the clutter and I stood to my feet. I walked out and I reviewed the look back.
[28:57 - 29:02] I took my depression and threw it right back into that wood stack. And that fire must have blazed 50 feet high.
[29:02 - 29:06] And now I plan on leaving a legacy to look back on some day when I died.
[29:06 - 29:11] And right now I'm telling you to stand up too. Deep down inside you know it's the right thing to do.
[29:11 - 29:15] Think about your family. Think about you. Don't kill yourself. Please don't do it.
[29:15 - 29:18] Whatever you're facing, God will see you through it.
[29:18 - 29:21] I had a fairy kill himself and his mom asked if I could come see her.
[29:21 - 29:25] She was depressed and asked if I could meet her. Two weeks later the pressure beat her.
[29:25 - 29:29] She ran into a telephone pole without a seatbelt and the two seen her.
[29:29 - 29:35] And I wish right now I could crawl through these speakers and somehow convince you not to go the same route she did.
[29:35 - 29:41] I wish I could change the fact that you feel defeated. I wish I could lock my arms around you and tell the devil to beat it.
[29:41 - 29:45] But I can't reach everyone even though I do my best to try.
[29:45 - 29:50] Some people believe the lie that it's just best to die. And they think it's the simple way out.
[29:50 - 29:55] But they're not here to see the way things play out. They don't see the hurt they cause, the pain they leave.
[29:55 - 30:01] I take this seriously. This isn't a game to me. Even thinking about ending your life is living dangerously.
[30:01 - 30:07] So please just listen to my voice. Right now you have a choice. You can choose life or you can get drowned by the noise.
[30:07 - 30:13] Please don't do it. Please just ask for help. If not for your family, do it for yourself.
[30:13 - 30:29] [Music]
[30:29 - 30:44] [Silence]
[30:44 - 30:48] And this song I'm about to play you guys actually follows up to that.
[30:48 - 30:52] [Silence]
[30:52 - 30:55] That video right there saved my life.
[30:55 - 30:58] [Silence]
[30:58 - 31:15] And I want to play this video even though I know that it might not, you know, even knowing that it might not do any fucking good.
[31:15 - 31:21] [Silence]
[31:21 - 31:27] But...
[31:27 - 31:43] [Silence]
[31:43 - 31:48] I do hope that this video...
[31:48 - 32:06] Yeah, I hope that this song shows you fucking assholes out there that do this kind of shit to people for no reason but your own selfish fucking game in your own fucking bullshit.
[32:06 - 32:12] [Silence]
[32:12 - 32:31] I hope that this shows you guys what you do to people and how far the bullshit you push goes.
[32:31 - 32:37] [Silence]
[32:37 - 32:47] And honestly, I want all of you guys that bully someone or attack someone to really watch this.
[32:47 - 32:53] [Silence]
[32:53 - 33:13] And honestly, I feel like more people need to see this because this video shows what it's like to be where I've been the last three years.
[33:13 - 33:23] [Silence]
[33:23 - 33:40] All the shit you guys are about to see is what you bullies do to people like myself.
[33:40 - 34:45] [Silence]
[34:45 - 34:48] What up, Sam? What up, Travis?
[34:48 - 36:01] [Silence]
[36:01 - 36:12] I will never be what you want me to pull you under. I pull you under.
[36:12 - 36:57] [Silence]
[36:57 - 37:20] I will never be what you want me to pull you under. I pull you under. I pull you under. I pull you under.
[37:20 - 37:55] [Silence]
[37:55 - 38:05] Everything that was depicted in that music video shot the Five Finger Death Punch, by the way. Fucking amazing music.
[38:05 - 38:14] If you've not ever heard Five Finger Death Punch, I highly, highly encourage you guys to go watch their music videos.
[38:14 - 38:35] They have great stuff. They have amazing fucking music. But everything that was depicted in that video is what people like you, Marty, and so many others do to people like me.
[38:35 - 38:45] You make us feel like we're not even human.
[38:45 - 38:50] [Silence]
[38:50 - 38:55] Well, we are all human and we all have a right to live.
[38:55 - 39:03] [Silence]
[39:03 - 39:11] We all have a right to live our lives, the way that we want to live them.
[39:11 - 39:27] Which is why, from this moment on, from this video stream on, I will no longer be a victim of you, Marty, or anyone ever again.
[39:27 - 39:33] From here on out, I am doing the music that I should have been doing the whole fucking time.
[39:33 - 39:41] And creating music for people like myself that needs someone there who has been where they're at.
[39:41 - 39:48] Somebody like me who is willing to speak up and be the voice for those people.
[39:48 - 39:57] Somebody like me who truly understands what it means to be depressed, what it means to be on the edge of suicide.
[39:57 - 40:05] Someone like me who's been kicked down lower than most people can even imagine.
[40:05 - 40:24] And when I say I was kicked down, I don't just mean I was kicked down. Like when I mean I went through hell, I went through a hell that I can honestly say is a fate worse than death.
[40:24 - 40:29] [Silence]
[40:29 - 40:49] Because there was a point in the last three years where I was being bullied and attacked so bad that I felt like death was better than living the endless fucking nightmare that I was fucking put in.
[40:49 - 40:53] [Silence]
[40:53 - 40:56] There was a point where I felt like that.
[40:56 - 41:18] [Silence]
[41:18 - 41:25] There was a point where I felt like that.
[41:25 - 41:39] And with the help of my friends and my family and my team, going through all that, this is the road that I am now on.
[41:39 - 41:49] I am proud to say that I am on this road right here, where you're about to see this is the road that I am currently on.
[41:49 - 41:53] Shout out to Soldier Hard for this one.
[41:53 - 42:18] [Silence]
[42:18 - 42:47] [Music]
[42:47 - 46:43] [Silence]
[46:43 - 47:01] What do you say, man? Because of you guys, my friends, my family, and my real fans, not the fake ass ones that, you know, talk all this dumb shit.
[47:01 - 47:21] Like because of y'all, being on the road to recovery is where I'm at, and I can't thank y'all enough.
[47:21 - 47:43] Everyone from my boy Chris, my best friend Adam, my best friend Ellie, my brother Jake, my little sister.
[47:43 - 48:01] Everybody and everyone of y'all that's having my back and push me in the right direction, I want to say thank you, man. Because of that, you guys,
[48:01 - 48:13] I'm back on the right path of where I should be, and I am beyond grateful to y'all for that.
[48:13 - 48:39] And as I said to people like Marty and to anybody out there that thinks they're going to take advantage of me ever again, thinking of him because that's not going to happen.
[48:39 - 48:55] You guys are not going to take advantage of me or screw me over ever, ever again.
[48:55 - 49:17] As I said in the beginning of this stream, if I catch anyone trying to fuck me over or trying to do anything to ruin me, you will be served with a cease and desist,
[49:17 - 49:33] and you will be dealt with accordingly, legally. So don't think that you're going to fuck around and screw me over anymore.
[49:33 - 49:49] 2022 is my year to do what I've always wanted to do, and it's time for me to take that shit and run with it.
[49:49 - 50:02] Well, that means it. I love you guys. I hope that this helped you guys, and I hope that this inspired you hearing my story and what I've been through.
[50:02 - 50:10] And again, thank you to everybody that's had my back, man. Y'all are fucking awesome. I can't thank y'all enough.
[50:10 - 50:26] Well, that means I guess I'm about to bounce. I'm about to call my boy Chris, see what his goofy ass is up to, and I'll catch you guys tomorrow.
[50:26 - 50:36] I will be dropping new music very soon, so be on the lookout for that. I got new music dropping very, very soon, so be on the lookout for that.
[50:36 - 50:47] Well, with that being said, I love you guys, and as I always say for those of you that know me, you guys know this.
[50:47 - 50:58] For those of you that are just now seeing this, like I always say, stay humble, stay positive, keep being awesome, and just keep being yourself.
[50:58 - 51:06] Fuck what anyone else thinks, because you, yes, you, the person watching this, you're awesome.
[51:06 - 51:20] You are a fucking badass. You are fucking epic. You are fucking incredible. Fuck what anyone else thinks. You're awesome.
[51:20 - 51:29] Anyways, I love you guys. I'll catch you guys tomorrow. Peace.