2022-3-19 Stop Living in the Past

[0:00 - 0:29] As many of you know, Adrian has decided to post a video about me, which I will be typing
[0:29 - 0:48] for copyright purposes, but regardless of that, Adrian, I'm here to give you a wake-up call,
[0:48 - 0:52] something that you needed for a very long time.
[0:52 - 1:00] Are you ever wrong when you said that I'm still in love with you because I'm not?
[1:00 - 1:07] You know what it was and what it is?
[1:07 - 1:11] I always see the good in people.
[1:11 - 1:16] Even if they don't deserve it, I still try to reach out and help them.
[1:16 - 1:31] And Adrian, you and I both know that I was very right in saying what I said this morning
[1:31 - 1:52] is about you wasting your talents. You're losing a future, a future that you can change.
[1:52 - 2:03] You see, Adrian, shortly after I left and I had to move, the rest of my life was spent
[2:03 - 2:14] growing up around very wise people, not only in the military, but outside of the military.
[2:14 - 2:33] But tell me a very, very real code that I still live by, which is the way of the Bushido.
[2:33 - 2:46] And the main pillars are as follows. Honor, integrity, loyalty, respect. None of which
[2:46 - 2:58] you follow. See, when me and you first started talking, you told me yourself that you wanted
[2:58 - 3:06] to be with me eventually and that that was the goal. And by you running off and boasting
[3:06 - 3:23] about how you slept with another guy, you broke one of those rules, which is loyalty.
[3:23 - 3:29] And by you continuing to do what you're doing, you're not just dishonoring your family.
[3:29 - 3:39] You're not just dishonoring people that care. You're doing dishonor to yourself.
[3:39 - 3:47] See, any successful person in the world will tell you this, and this is something I had
[3:47 - 3:59] to learn myself, Adrian. No one ever got anywhere by sitting on their ass and doing nothing.
[3:59 - 4:10] Your sleep streams are a waste of time. They are a true waste of your real talent. I've
[4:10 - 4:16] seen what you can do with a needle and thread. And as I told you this morning, I still stand
[4:16 - 4:24] behind what I said. I still stand behind what I said this morning when I told you that
[4:24 - 4:33] you are very gifted as a seamstress. You are very talented with sewing. I've seen some
[4:33 - 4:37] of your clothing designs and they are some of the most beautiful designs I've ever seen
[4:37 - 4:46] in my life. And I'm not just saying that. So your clothing work is amazing. So my question
[4:46 - 4:54] to you is this, Adrian. Why are you wasting your talents on stupid ass sleep streams
[4:54 - 5:07] when you could be starting up your own shop through Wix or Etsy or Shopify. You could
[5:07 - 5:18] be coming up with clothing designs that people would actually buy. Because you have a very
[5:18 - 5:25] unique style crossing modern Gothic with old Victorian style which is a very hard combination
[5:25 - 5:49] to pull off. And you do it quite well. You do that style quite well. Because mixing
[5:49 - 5:58] modern Gothic with very old original old school Victorian style is a very hard thing to pull.
[5:58 - 6:02] Trust me, I've seen a lot of people try to do it and they've failed. But you're one
[6:02 - 6:12] of the very few that actually has the talent to actually pull it off. So again, I ask you,
[6:12 - 6:19] why are you letting your talent fade away? As I told you this morning and as I've had
[6:19 - 6:33] to learn, stop worrying about what you can't do. What you are unable to do doesn't matter.
[6:33 - 6:44] What does matter is what you are able to do right now. Why do you think I'm hardly on
[6:44 - 6:53] YouTube anymore? Why do you think I'm hardly on social media anymore? Because I'm doing
[6:53 - 7:01] quite well for myself. I'm setting myself up for success. But you, by doing what you're
[7:01 - 7:12] doing, are setting yourself up for nothing but failure. That is all you're doing is setting
[7:12 - 7:21] yourself up to fail. You're setting yourself up for failure. And guess what? Unless you
[7:21 - 7:27] break that cycle, that failure is just going to continue. And you're going to end right
[7:27 - 7:33] back up in the same cycle and people are still going to fuck with you and people are still
[7:33 - 7:40] going to mess with you. Unless you get your head out of your ass and you change up your
[7:40 - 7:47] cycle and you start doing something worth doing. And something worth doing is you doing
[7:47 - 7:55] your sewing work. You doing your clothing designs is what you were meant to do. So
[7:55 - 8:04] again I ask, why waste your talents on dumb shit that doesn't matter? Why waste your
[8:04 - 8:15] talents on ignorant bullshit that's meaningless? Because I hate to break it to you, Adrienne,
[8:15 - 8:21] and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but nobody watches your sleep streams. Nobody
[8:21 - 8:34] watches them. They merely come in and then pop back out. That's all they do. I've been
[8:34 - 8:39] keeping an eye on your YouTube channel for the last few months since me and you stopped
[8:39 - 8:48] talking and I've noticed before you started doing sleep streams you were doing numbers
[8:48 - 8:54] in viewers. You were doing damn good with viewers. Now since you started doing sleep
[8:54 - 9:03] streams your numbers are dropping because your channel is becoming boring. No one wants
[9:03 - 9:10] to watch you sleep all night Adrienne. And I know it's hard to hear and I know it's
[9:10 - 9:19] a hard pill to swallow but that's just the reality of it. That's just the truth of it.
[9:19 - 9:25] No one wants to sit around and watch someone sleep for hours on end. If you want to do
[9:25 - 9:38] something and be successful then be successful. Get off your fucking ass and do something.
[9:38 - 9:50] Do your sewing work, be successful, do like I did, pave your own way to success. I worked
[9:50 - 9:59] my ass off to get to where I'm at and I'm proud of where I'm at. I'm proud of how far
[9:59 - 10:12] I've come. But you, you're still hanging on to your past and yes I get that you have
[10:12 - 10:23] PTSD. I understand that. Believe me I do. Because I suffer from that same thing as
[10:23 - 10:30] well because of what I've been through for the last few years. So I am very well aware
[10:30 - 10:38] of what you deal with. But let me tell you Adrienne something that I had to do that you
[10:38 - 10:50] could benefit from is this. When I was going through all that and it hit the break point
[10:50 - 10:59] I sat down and I thought to myself I could do one of two things. I could either sit here
[10:59 - 11:06] and continue to make excuses and continue to let people judge me and bash me and harass
[11:06 - 11:15] me and steal from me and let this PTSD get the better of me and let it continue to keep
[11:15 - 11:27] me held down or I could get my ass the fuck up. I could start fighting back and I could
[11:27 - 11:34] start taking back what's rightfully mine and I could make my own success and that's exactly
[11:34 - 11:42] what I did. I got up, I dusted myself off and I made my own success. And as a result
[11:42 - 11:53] I am now working with a very big film company who I am proud to be a part of. Who I am very
[11:53 - 11:59] much proud to be partnered with. Who I am very proud to be working under and working
[11:59 - 12:07] for. And you know why they gave me that chance? Because they saw that I was working hard.
[12:07 - 12:16] They saw that I was trying to help myself. Because Adrienne let me tell you something.
[12:16 - 12:24] In order for someone to help you, first you have to be willing to help yourself. In order
[12:24 - 12:31] to be successful and for you to get help that you want, you need to be willing to help
[12:31 - 12:43] yourself because nobody ever got anywhere by doing handouts. And those that didn't
[12:43 - 13:01] get handouts, guess what, 9 times out of 10, they failed. When I put T this way Adrienne,
[13:01 - 13:18] do you think bands like Bring Me The Horizon, bands such as Emotionless and White, Three
[13:18 - 13:29] Days Grace, Skillet, Evanescence, AC/DC, the AC/DC cover band Back in Black, do you all
[13:29 - 13:36] think they got anywhere by just sitting around on their asses and not doing anything? No.
[13:36 - 13:48] They busted their asses to get to where they're at. And in order for anybody to be successful,
[13:48 - 14:01] you can't just sit around on your ass all day feeling sorry for yourself. I'm going
[14:01 - 14:08] to give you a quote that I've seen on Facebook or other today that might help you. It's
[14:08 - 14:20] super simple but it has a lot of meaning. Never look back. Never look behind you because
[14:20 - 14:28] you're not going that way. You're not going to sit there and turn around and walk back
[14:28 - 14:37] that way. No. You're going this way. So what's the point in looking behind you? You're
[14:37 - 14:43] not going back there. There's nothing left for you back there. The past, that's the
[14:43 - 14:58] past. Okay? There's nothing for you there. What you need to do is stare straight ahead.
[14:58 - 15:05] Your goal that you want to do ain't behind you. Your goal is in front of you. Get ahead
[15:05 - 15:14] of you. But my question to you is this. What are you going to do about it? Are you going
[15:14 - 15:28] to sit there and let it run away from you? And waste your life away being a nobody?
[15:28 - 15:34] Or are you going to get up and fucking be a somebody? Because you always talk about
[15:34 - 15:44] making money doing what you want to do. You always talk about that. Then why not fucking
[15:44 - 15:54] do it? Matter of fact, I'm going to give you a quote by my brother, Crip K. Don't talk
[15:54 - 16:05] about it. Be about it. Shout out to Crip K on that one. Don't talk about doing something.
[16:05 - 16:13] Be about doing that something. If you say you want to do selling for a living and then
[16:13 - 16:23] costumes and clothing for a living, don't just talk about doing it. Actually do it.
[16:23 - 16:30] Don't just sit there and let it pass you by. Me, I don't talk about doing music. I
[16:30 - 16:41] do do music. I don't talk about being a musician. I am a musician. I am an artist. I don't
[16:41 - 16:47] just sit there and talk about these things and just not do them. I actually go out and
[16:47 - 17:02] I do them. So my question to you, Adrian, is this. Why are you not following your own
[17:02 - 17:12] code? The code that you made for yourself, you're falling away from. You've told me
[17:12 - 17:18] many a times over that you wanted to do selling for a living, but yet you're not doing anything
[17:18 - 17:25] to further yourself. All you're doing is sitting on your fucking ass, doing sleep
[17:25 - 17:41] streams and talking shit on people. That's all you're doing. But as I said, you know,
[17:41 - 17:55] you want to waste your life away. That's on you. I'm only trying to give you the guidance
[17:55 - 18:01] that you need to get there. All I'm doing is providing you with the tools and the knowledge
[18:01 - 18:07] to get there. That's all I'm doing. What you do with those tools and that knowledge,
[18:07 - 18:16] that's up to you. I can't be the one to tell you what to do with that stuff. That's your
[18:16 - 18:39] choice. I'm merely trying to help you even though you don't deserve it. Because that's
[18:39 - 18:59] what I'm trying to help you do is what a good person does. When I talk about, you know,
[18:59 - 19:06] helping people, I don't just talk about it. If somebody needs an ear, or somebody to
[19:06 - 19:11] listen to their problems, guess what? I'm right there asking them, hey, what's going
[19:11 - 19:19] on? What can I help you out with? What do you need? What's going on? Or if somebody
[19:19 - 19:25] needs me to say they have a new song out and they want me to share it around. Dude,
[19:25 - 19:34] I'll bump that shit and I'll share it around. And I'll put it in my playlist. If somebody
[19:34 - 19:47] needs a logo design done, you bet your asshole fucking hell about. Because as I said, that's
[19:47 - 19:55] what being a good person is about. But with you, Adrian, the way you're being, you're
[19:55 - 20:03] being fake. You're being fake to those around you. But most importantly, you're being fake
[20:03 - 20:13] to yourself. You truly are being fake to yourself. And you're lying to yourself if
[20:13 - 20:19] you think that these sleep streams aren't going to get you anywhere. Do you know how
[20:19 - 20:31] many YouTubers do sleep streams on a daily basis? At least a couple thousand. At least.
[20:31 - 20:41] So what you're doing isn't new or innovative. At all. All you're doing is sleeping all
[20:41 - 20:48] night on a stream. There are thousands of people out there that do live streams just
[20:48 - 21:01] like you do. And guess where I get some? Nowhere. There's very few that have seen success from
[21:01 - 21:10] doing sleep streams at all. So Adrian, you want to be successful on YouTube? Did I suggest
[21:10 - 21:18] you change up your shit? You quit the sleep streams and you start doing sewing videos?
[21:18 - 21:27] Or do live streams of you creating shit? People would love to see that. People want
[21:27 - 21:33] to see stuff like that. Because Adrian, you're talking to somebody that has been on YouTube
[21:33 - 21:41] since before you were ever on. You're talking to a veteran of the YouTube community. Somebody
[21:41 - 21:48] that knows what they're talking about. And trust you when I say doing what you're doing
[21:48 - 21:56] now ain't going to get you nowhere. Now you're doing your sewing stuff, people would love
[21:56 - 22:03] to watch that. Hell, take a look at one of my personal favorite YouTubers, Nerdforge.
[22:03 - 22:11] One of the most amazing fucking art channels on the planet. She's very well known in the
[22:11 - 22:20] cosplay community as well as the art community. So Adrian, why don't you do something like
[22:20 - 22:33] that? Stop wasting your time doing this all night and nobody watching. For real. No one
[22:33 - 22:40] wants to sit here and see you fucking sleep all day and night. What they want to see
[22:40 - 22:47] is somebody that's in action, that's being productive, that's doing something engaging,
[22:47 - 22:58] that's doing something fun. Something that they want to see. I don't know if I was any
[22:58 - 23:02] of these people, I wouldn't want to watch you sleep all night. I'd want to see what
[23:02 - 23:08] you can actually do, what you're actually good at. I wouldn't want to sit there and
[23:08 - 23:13] be like, oh, I'm just going to watch this girl sleep. Dude, that's creepy. First off,
[23:13 - 23:18] that's fucking creepy shit. All right, if you're going to sit there and watch someone
[23:18 - 23:24] sleep, dude, that's fucking creepy as hell. And I'm not just saying that, that is actually
[23:24 - 23:31] fucking creepy if you think about it. All right, who just watches someone sleep like
[23:31 - 23:41] that? That's just fucking weird. So Adrian, my advice to you is this. Stop
[23:41 - 23:51] feeling sorry for yourself. Stop using your PTSD as an excuse to hide. There ain't no
[23:51 - 24:02] more hiding because I will not let you hide. I will continue to expose you and call you
[24:02 - 24:11] on your shit every single time. I will continue to expose you the same way that I've exposed
[24:11 - 24:18] Marty and so many other people that have stolen money from me. That have used me,
[24:18 - 24:28] that have basically tried to take everything away from me. I will continue to expose you
[24:28 - 24:34] until you get through your fucking head that you need to grow up. Because you do. You
[24:34 - 24:43] say I need to grow up. Well, here's the difference between me and you, Adrian. I have a job.
[24:43 - 24:53] You don't. All right. I'm being a responsible adult. I grew up. I've got a job doing something
[24:53 - 25:00] I enjoy. And just for the record, no, you motherfuckers ain't going to see my W twos.
[25:00 - 25:05] That ain't fucking happening because y'all motherfuckers ain't going to try to sit there
[25:05 - 25:12] and fuck me over again. Fuck that. Whenever I get my paycheck, you ain't fucking seeing
[25:12 - 25:17] a damn dime of it, nor are you going to see any kind of proof of it because my private
[25:17 - 25:23] life, my work life, it's just that private. And I have every intention on keeping it
[25:23 - 25:35] that way. Now, when I start making money big time and I started booking shows and I start
[25:35 - 25:42] performing shows every other week, then yeah, I'll fill you guys in and I'll live stream
[25:42 - 25:49] this shit. But when it comes to my other work with the film company, when I do work for
[25:49 - 26:10] them, that's private shit. But as I said, Adrian, the difference between me and you
[26:10 - 26:23] is this, I work for a living. I work for a life giant films on a daily basis. I'm an
[26:23 - 26:31] audio engineer. I create soundscapes and music for infomercials and I do help do video
[26:31 - 26:42] scenes for infomercials. And yes, I do get paid. And no, I'm not saying how much because
[26:42 - 26:49] that's nobody's business, but my own and my family and those that I deemed that are
[26:49 - 26:59] okay to tell. But Adrian, that's the difference between me and you. You don't work. You sit
[26:59 - 27:08] on your ass and feel sorry for yourself all day. But me, I do work and I don't feel sorry
[27:08 - 27:30] for myself. So, as I said, you can either pick yourself back up and take my advice
[27:30 - 27:36] and do what you really want to do for a living or sit there and watch your future fade away
[27:36 - 27:49] right in front of you because as it stains right now, your features fading away very
[27:49 - 27:59] fast and it's not looking good. And if you don't get a grip on it now, then you're going
[27:59 - 28:09] to have nothing left in the long run. So if I were you, I'd get a grip on my life. I would
[28:09 - 28:16] stop making excuses for myself and stop blaming my PTSD for everything. And I would get a
[28:16 - 28:23] grip on all that shit and start doing what I love to do for a living. That's what I
[28:23 - 28:37] would do. Hell, that's what I have done and am continuing to do. So as I said, you can
[28:37 - 28:47] continue to sit there, make excuses, blame your PTSD and say, "Oh, I can't do this because
[28:47 - 28:57] of this," and "Oh, I can't do this because of this," or you can get the fuck back up,
[28:57 - 29:07] stop making excuses for yourself and actually get somewhere with your life. At your call
[29:07 - 29:14] at the end of the day, I'm just always trying to guide you in the right direction. I'm just
[29:14 - 29:19] trying to give you life lessons that I learned. But as I said, what you do with the knowledge
[29:19 - 29:26] and the advice that I give you, that's up to you. I can't tell you what to do. I can't
[29:26 - 29:35] make you do anything. That's your choice. But if you're as half as smart as I know
[29:35 - 29:54] you can be, you'll take my advice and you'll run with it. If you are as smart as you say
[29:54 - 30:04] you are, shit, I'd be taking my advice real fucking quick because this shit that you're
[30:04 - 30:11] doing ain't getting you nowhere and you know it. These sleep streams ain't doing nothing
[30:11 - 30:24] for you. So why waste your time doing it? Yes, I might do, you know, guitar covers here
[30:24 - 30:34] and there, but whatever. That's because people enjoy seeing me do that shit. People genuinely
[30:34 - 30:47] enjoy seeing me do guitar covers. And it's because I do my guitar covers in a different
[30:47 - 30:55] way than most. I don't do it your average way of bullshit playing. I do it in my own
[30:55 - 31:04] style and guess what? People fucking dig it. Which is why I give you is every time
[31:04 - 31:30] because I stand out and I'm not just sitting there on my ass all day. Hell, that's not
[31:30 - 31:37] how I put out like 11 different tracks back to back. I did out 11 different tracks back
[31:37 - 32:04] to back to back. So that right there should tell you something.
[104:40 - 104:44] Adrian, I hope you learned a lesson from all this.
[104:49 - 104:53] I really do, Adrian. I hope you learned something from all this.
[104:53 - 104:58] I hope you learned to not sit around on your fucking ass all day
[104:58 - 105:04] and that people who sit around on their asses all day don't get anywhere.
[105:05 - 105:12] People that actually take action get somewhere. So if I was you, I'd take action.