2022-2-9 how i became a Prisoner of my own home

[0:00 - 0:21] I'm making this video not only for Facebook not only for YouTube to inspire people but
[0:21 - 0:29] also for Twitch as well. You know over the last couple years I've been through a lot
[0:29 - 0:37] of bad stuff and a lot of bad stuff. I've gone through everything from being harassed
[0:37 - 0:45] and attacked to having my life threatened to actually having my life almost murdered
[0:45 - 0:54] several times. But the one thing that a lot of people don't realize that when you're
[0:54 - 1:09] going through this shit a lot of people don't realize a lot of people don't realize and
[1:09 - 1:25] okay I did unblock you. A lot of people don't realize you know that when you get put through
[1:25 - 1:31] what I get put through you begin to feel like a prisoner in your own home. That's pretty
[1:31 - 1:40] much how I've become to feel as like a prisoner in my own fucking home. You know a few years
[1:40 - 1:51] ago I had a good life. Back in 2018 I was actually doing very well for myself. You know
[1:51 - 1:59] I had a career going. I was actually doing stuff. I was actually getting my music out
[1:59 - 2:05] there. I was actually doing live shows here and there when I could at local venues and
[2:05 - 2:13] you know enjoying my life. But then I got somehow rather drug into the troll community
[2:13 - 2:21] for no reason at all. And how I got drug into it I don't understand. But it seems
[2:21 - 2:26] like ever since then I've been trying to claw my way out. I've been trying to drag
[2:26 - 2:52] myself out of that shit. And it fucking sucks. You know I'm trying to make a living from
[2:52 - 3:07] my family. Doing something I truly truly enjoy doing. You know I've been trying to
[3:07 - 3:12] you know be able to provide for my family because I understand some of the concerns.
[3:12 - 3:17] You know what am I going to do when you know my mom and dad pass away. You know what's
[3:17 - 3:31] going to happen. And I understand that. And I understand that concern. And I appreciate
[3:31 - 3:39] that concern. I really do. But as I got to the blackout records and everyone last night
[3:39 - 3:47] including Cruella the Bill. Maybe a few trolls wouldn't have drug me into the community
[3:47 - 3:55] and let me be and let me do my own thing. I can actually be making money right now and
[3:55 - 4:02] actually making a very good living doing what I love to do. But instead it seems like every
[4:02 - 4:09] time I start to get somewhere you guys take that away from me. You guys told me to get
[4:09 - 4:21] a job outside of YouTube and I do that. You guys take it away from me. Every time I get
[4:21 - 4:33] a sponsorship or if you know I start to make a little money with my music. You guys take
[4:33 - 4:41] it away from me. And then proceed to laugh at me. And then when I can shoot you on your
[4:41 - 4:50] bullshit you proceed to attack my friends and my family. You guys told me to get a
[4:50 - 4:57] life outside of social media. And I'll be honest. I did have a normal life outside
[4:57 - 5:10] of social media. You know I met a couple days ago. I met somebody who I thought I would
[5:10 - 5:18] be able to spend the rest of my life with. But yet the minute that I had that sense
[5:18 - 5:28] of a normal life again you guys came in and took it away from me. And it's bullshit. Like
[5:28 - 5:37] if you guys want me to have a normal happy life let me make money off of my music. Let
[5:37 - 5:42] me do what I need to do to provide for my family. Let me fucking have a girlfriend and
[5:42 - 5:51] I live my life like a normal human being. OK. Because you guys run around saying that
[5:51 - 5:56] you own me and this and that and the other. That's just not true. And I think I've proved
[5:56 - 6:01] that a little bit ago with my last livestream where I proved that Blackout Records never
[6:01 - 6:11] sent me a contract. And Blackout Records I do hope that you see that video. Now whether
[6:11 - 6:20] you did send the contract or not I don't know but I never received it. Therefore as far
[6:20 - 6:34] as I'm concerned it don't exist. If I didn't get a contract in my email it doesn't exist.
[6:34 - 6:41] You know I'm trying to do what's right not only for me and my family but I'm trying to
[6:41 - 6:50] do what's right for my friends that have actually died for the music industry. People
[6:50 - 7:01] whose legacies that I promised I would uphold. But yet I'm not allowed to do that. And I
[7:01 - 7:14] don't understand why you guys feel like you have to do that to me. As long as I say something
[7:14 - 7:20] back when I first got introduced into the music industry. Me and my best friend David
[7:20 - 7:28] were talking and I made him a promise that I've been trying to uphold. And I made this
[7:28 - 7:36] very same promise to my mentor Koda Oda that if anything happened to him that I would
[7:36 - 7:45] still continue on that legacy where he left off. I would still continue that music legacy
[7:45 - 7:52] and continue to do music to uphold the legacy that he left behind for people like myself
[7:52 - 7:59] and his brothers and his family and stuff like that. And I've been trying to uphold
[7:59 - 8:10] that legacy. I've had a lot of mentors and a lot of good people that have shown me a
[8:10 - 8:17] lot of stuff in the music industry. People like my good friend Koda Oda who sadly lost
[8:17 - 8:30] his life to a drug overdose a few years ago. But you know, I will admit I have made some
[8:30 - 8:35] stupid decisions. Things that I shouldn't have said, things that I shouldn't have done
[8:35 - 8:42] or fallen for. But you have to understand something. When you're coming into the music
[8:42 - 8:48] industry brand new and you're like me and you don't have any kind of help. You don't
[8:48 - 8:53] have any manager. You don't have, you know, that person to say, hey, don't trust this
[8:53 - 9:01] guy or hey, you know, be wary of this group of people because they will fuck you over.
[9:01 - 9:07] I never had anybody to sit there and say, hey, you know, avoid these guys or yo, avoid
[9:07 - 9:15] that person at all costs. I didn't have that. When I talk about I came on doing music on
[9:15 - 9:22] my own with no help, I literally mean that to the fullest extent. I had to learn how
[9:22 - 9:29] to make beats on my own. I had to learn how to record on my own. I had, there was no YouTube
[9:29 - 9:41] videos. I had to sit down and fucking learn this shit on my own with no help at all whatsoever.
[9:41 - 9:49] I had to figure that shit out for myself. Well, you guys now, you guys have, you guys
[9:49 - 9:56] can press a button and make a beat within seconds. What's right? One button you guys
[9:56 - 10:03] have back in my day when I first started out, we didn't have that. We had to do the long
[10:03 - 10:20] process of creating samples, doing this, doing that. We had to do it that way. I know I didn't
[10:20 - 10:26] give up. I'm still doing that, but I'm doing it more in private. I'm still competing in
[10:26 - 10:36] the cup, but I'm doing it more in private. I don't want the people to see it. I wanted
[10:36 - 10:54] to do this one for myself. When I came up with music, we didn't have any other stuff
[10:54 - 11:01] you guys have nowadays. Some of it I have adapted into my own stuff. Yes. Such as using
[11:01 - 11:09] FL studios, using a mini keyboard, a DJ deck, all that stuff. I do still implement that
[11:09 - 11:18] into my own work to this very day. But for people to go out of their way and say, Oh,
[11:18 - 11:26] I steal artwork or I steal music. That's just simply not true. All my stuff I've done from
[11:26 - 11:36] the ground up. Yes. As far as my artwork goes, yes, I have done stuff that is, it pushes
[11:36 - 11:46] the boundaries, you know, such as doing fair use artwork where I turn an image on Google
[11:46 - 11:58] and to a dark and creepy art piece. And yes, I may have used samples from certain songs
[11:58 - 12:05] or used instrumentals from another artist. But when it comes to the music side of things,
[12:05 - 12:14] as far as the instrumentals go, it's called free use, free for profit. And even if they
[12:14 - 12:21] aren't free for profit, you can ask anybody that does music as a whole. There are thousands
[12:21 - 12:29] of artists every day that use instrumentals that are bought that aren't free for profit.
[12:29 - 12:41] It's a very commonplace thing. It's very much a commonplace thing. But when you guys come
[12:41 - 12:48] in, and you do all this stuff to me, and leave me down this bathtub that I've been trying
[12:48 - 13:01] to go in reverse on, you know, I'm over here trying to make a living for my family. Okay?
[13:01 - 13:10] I'm trying to do something that I love to do for my family. Because my family gave
[13:10 - 13:18] me everything. My family gave me life. So I'm simply just trying to give back to them
[13:18 - 13:28] the same way that they gave to me all these years. But when you guys come in and you
[13:28 - 13:36] take and you take and you take, how do you expect me to do anything? Like, you tell
[13:36 - 13:42] me to find a way to make money outside of YouTube. And I find a way to do it through
[13:42 - 13:53] my music or my artwork. You guys take that away from me. And what confuses me is what
[13:53 - 13:57] right do you have to sit there and tell me to get a job? What have you guys that tell
[13:57 - 14:16] me to get a job don't have one yourselves. That's where I get confused. Well, yeah,
[14:16 - 14:31] I understand that. Right, and I get that Chris, but there's also something I noticed about
[14:31 - 14:37] what you're talking about to a lot of these, a lot of these artists that do that stuff,
[14:37 - 14:44] they don't do it to make money. A lot of these artists take these instrumentals on
[14:44 - 14:52] YouTube. Some of them, like I said, that might not be for profit use or whatever. See what
[14:52 - 14:59] they do is it's called getting your name out there. They do it to get noticed. They do
[14:59 - 15:08] it to show what they can do. Like they'll take an instrumental and especially if they
[15:08 - 15:14] don't know what they're doing or how to make their own instrumentals, they'll find a random
[15:14 - 15:19] beat on YouTube and rap over it or sing over it or do whatever they're going to do over
[15:19 - 15:26] it and upload it. That's how they got, that's how they get noticed. That's how a lot of
[15:26 - 15:33] them got noticed back in the day and that's how I did it a lot. Or some of them will even
[15:33 - 15:41] go out of their way and do song covers. Like it is basically the same thing just with
[15:41 - 15:47] two different things. On one end of the spectrum, you're doing a cover of a song. On the other
[15:47 - 15:53] end, you're finding a beat on YouTube, or an instrumental or a rapping or a singing
[15:53 - 16:04] or whatever and that in turn, it gives them notoriety. That gets people listening and
[16:04 - 16:18] talking to them. It's actually a very commonplace thing, very commonplace. Now, do a lot of
[16:18 - 16:27] them get signed right off the bat? No. But a lot of them do that to get the practice,
[16:27 - 16:32] to hone their skills, hone their craft on whatever it is they're getting, whatever style
[16:32 - 16:40] music they're going to do. For me, mine varies. I can jump from doing hip-hop things, a hip-hop
[16:40 - 16:48] track, one minute to doing, I can put a fucking bad-ass fucking metal course on the next.
[16:48 - 17:03] But like I said to the trolls, you guys don't know what you do. That fucks with people like
[17:03 - 17:09] me, dude. Like you say that you guys want me to be something, but yeah, you guys hold
[17:09 - 17:23] me back and it's bullshit. Like I told you guys on Blackout Records channel, you guys
[17:23 - 17:29] need to quit what you're doing. This whole holding me back thing, it needs to fucking
[17:29 - 17:41] stop. Okay? The whole holding me back shit, it needs to stop. And what's so fucked up
[17:41 - 17:47] is that you guys have done so much damage to me that I can't even walk outside of my
[17:47 - 17:57] door without being an alert of fear. I go down to the little corner store. I'm constantly
[17:57 - 18:03] having to look over my shoulders. I go down to the light to do some photography work.
[18:03 - 18:09] I'm constantly having to look over my shoulders. And what says I now have to always carry
[18:09 - 18:16] some form of protection on me just in case. And I don't like doing that. Because this
[18:16 - 18:27] place used to be a safe place for me to go. You know, I used to be able to walk around
[18:27 - 18:35] and not have to carry some form of protection on me at all times. But yeah, you guys seem
[18:35 - 18:56] to think that it's funny to make me have to do that. And it's not okay, dude. Like
[18:56 - 19:07] I shouldn't have to walk around a fucking lake area where I used to be safe to walk
[19:07 - 19:11] around. I shouldn't have to walk around and have some sort of protection on me at all
[19:11 - 19:25] times. I shouldn't have to do that. Like for you guys there and attack me is pretty pathetic
[19:25 - 19:34] and pretty foolish on your part. I mean, you guys sit here and you say that, you know,
[19:34 - 19:43] Oh, we own you. Oh, this person owns you, dude. No one fucking owns me. Okay. If anybody
[19:43 - 20:03] owns me, I own me, myself, me. James Wilkins, I own me. But like I said, dude, I'm tired
[20:03 - 20:10] of being held back. Because of you guys, I'm constantly having the same doors. And
[20:10 - 20:16] it's gotten so bad to the point to where I'm began and several points feeling like a prisoner
[20:16 - 20:24] in my own home because of the things that you guys have done to me. And I don't like
[20:24 - 20:31] feeling like that. I don't like feeling like a prisoner in my own home. And for those
[20:31 - 20:37] of you that have never been to jail, trust me, you wouldn't understand what it's like
[20:37 - 20:45] to feel like a prisoner in your own home. But me, I've been to jail, so I know very
[20:45 - 20:51] well what it's like to feel like a trapped prisoner inside your own home. I know what
[20:51 - 20:59] that shit's like. And it's not fun. It's not fun at all. And I don't deserve it. I
[20:59 - 21:04] deserve to be able to make music and make a living doing what I love to do. I deserve
[21:04 - 21:11] that shit. Because I've been working my ass off since 2009 to actually make a living
[21:11 - 21:20] off of it. Now, to those that have concerns about, you know, what's going to happen when
[21:20 - 21:25] my mom passes, trust me, I understand your concerns and I get that. I understand your
[21:25 - 21:32] concerns. But like I said last night, maybe if you guys would have left me alone from
[21:32 - 21:40] day one and let me live my life and let me lead a normal life like I know even a normal
[21:40 - 21:48] life like what I had a couple of days ago. Maybe then I'd actually be making some sort
[21:48 - 21:53] of money. Maybe then I'd actually have a normal life. But it's almost like you guys
[21:53 - 22:00] don't want me to have a normal life, which is sad. And quite honestly, it's pathetic.
[22:00 - 22:07] Which is why because you guys won't give me my normal life back. I'm sure walk right
[22:07 - 22:14] up and fucking take it. Which is exactly what I'm doing today. For starting today,
[22:14 - 22:19] I am not going to be posting on YouTube for a few months. I'm going to be working on my
[22:19 - 22:26] shit. I'm going to be getting myself together. And I'm taking my life back that you all
[22:26 - 22:32] have stolen from me. And yes, I am going to be looking for a brand new girlfriend. If
[22:32 - 22:38] I can't get jostled back, I am going to be looking for a new girlfriend to actually be
[22:38 - 22:47] with who you guys can't fuck with. Because I deserve a normal happy life. I'm not a bad
[22:47 - 22:55] dude. I'm really not. Despite what the videos and everything say, you guys, Krip K, I'm
[22:55 - 23:01] one of the chose motherfuckers you'll ever meet in your life. But you can ask him, I'm
[23:01 - 23:07] one of the nicest people you can ever fucking meet. But when you cross me in the wrong
[23:07 - 23:31] way and you do the same shit that y'all have done to me, that's when I become an asshole.
[23:31 - 23:50] Starting today, after this stream, you guys aren't going to hear from me for a while.
[23:50 - 23:58] Fucking Krip, bro. That's funny. I wish it was that easy, bro. I wish it was that easy,
[23:58 - 24:06] dude. Krip, if it was that easy, everybody would be doing it, man. If having a girlfriend
[24:06 - 24:18] was that fucking easy, bro, everyone would do it, dude. But like I said, after today,
[24:18 - 24:24] you guys aren't going to see me for a while. And when I mean a while, I mean a few months.
[24:24 - 24:29] I'm not just talking a couple of days or a couple of hours. I mean a few months because
[24:29 - 24:36] I'm getting my stuff together so that I can actually make a living doing music. So I
[24:36 - 24:52] can actually perform at venues again so that I can actually do shit. Like I always said,
[24:52 - 24:58] like some of my friends and some of my legitimate fans have actually said, dude, you deserve
[24:58 - 25:10] this. Like you deserve to do what you love. And like I told Jocelyn yesterday, as a matter
[25:10 - 25:19] of fact, the day before yesterday, when we were talking, I just want to do what I love
[25:19 - 25:29] and have people around me that care, that have got my back. So like I said, after this
[25:29 - 25:34] live stream, you guys aren't going to hear from me for a while because I'm going to
[25:34 - 25:43] be working on myself, my music, and actually living a normal life again. So to the trolls,
[25:43 - 25:51] I do hope that you find some way to stop doing what you're doing. I do hope that you guys
[25:51 - 25:57] find it in you to stop doing what you're doing because what you guys are doing is wasting
[25:57 - 26:05] time. You guys are being pathetic with the things that you do. You guys are wasting your
[26:05 - 26:16] time. You guys are being foolish and selfish and ultimately ignorant. Now as I said, have
[26:16 - 26:22] I said and done stupid shit? Yes. I'm not denying that. I have said a lot of fucked
[26:22 - 26:29] up shit. I had said and done some shit that I'm not proud of. But as I said, I've written
[26:29 - 26:39] those wrongs. I actually own up to that shit. So all I ask is that you guys leave me alone
[26:39 - 26:46] and you let me live my life. You want me to have a job? Then let me do my music. Let
[26:46 - 26:52] me do my artwork. Let me do shit that I need to do to make a living and stay out of my
[26:52 - 27:04] way. That's all I ask. So with that being said, I do hope that you trolls find some
[27:04 - 27:11] sort of peace and that you do find it in you to stop doing what you guys are doing. I
[27:11 - 27:18] really do. And with that being said, I'll see you guys in a few months. Maybe more.
[27:18 - 27:18] I don't know.
[27:18 - 27:20] Peace.