2022-11-23 the dead is where i lay my head FULL ALBUM SHOW

[0:00 - 0:28] You know, everybody wants to fuck with the little guy right?
[0:28 - 0:37] Everybody wants to tear the little guy being me down for no reason.
[0:37 - 0:50] You all want to poke and prod and attack me and tear me down right?
[0:50 - 0:57] You think it's fun right?
[0:57 - 1:04] You think it's hilarious doing what you do right?
[1:04 - 1:18] And no, the title of this brand new album that I've been working on for the last three
[1:18 - 1:32] years doesn't involve necrophilia, but it does invoke how I feel inside, which is dead.
[1:32 - 1:36] Because of you trolls, I'm dead inside.
[1:36 - 1:40] There is nothing left of me.
[1:40 - 1:50] There is nothing but a corpse left inside this empty shell that is my being.
[1:50 - 1:57] But honestly, I should thank you trolls for one fucking thing because you trolls inspired
[1:57 - 2:03] this album.
[2:03 - 2:18] This first song is called Hive Mind.
[2:18 - 2:35] Hive Mind is on my mind.
[2:35 - 2:42] Everybody got it on record.
[2:42 - 2:53] Everybody got it running like the nose of a, everybody running like the woman.
[2:53 - 2:59] Everybody running, run, run, run, the blood will spill.
[2:59 - 3:19] It's all of mine and nothing left, only just the corpse that you love.
[3:19 - 4:25] Why would I be the one out right now?
[4:25 - 4:26] I don't know what to do.
[4:26 - 4:27] My mind is being taken over by the hive.
[4:27 - 4:31] By those that surround me and I just don't know what to do.
[4:31 - 4:33] Can I ever break out?
[4:33 - 4:40] Can I ever get free?
[4:40 - 4:44] Will I ever see the light of day again?
[4:44 - 4:49] Will I see tomorrow or is this my end?
[4:49 - 4:58] Oh god, no, no, no.
[4:58 - 5:36] Why would I be the one out right now?
[5:36 - 5:52] Why can't I just take my own life?
[5:52 - 6:08] What can't take me alive?
[6:08 - 7:20] Why can't I be the one out right now?
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[7:53 - 8:10] This song is called, "You drove me to my death."
[8:10 - 8:48] You drove me to my death.
[8:48 - 8:53] You made me feel like I wasn't gonna knock you to me.
[8:53 - 8:57] You drove me down on the inside.
[8:57 - 9:16] You made me feel like I wasn't gonna knock you to me.
[9:16 - 9:36] You drove me to my death.
[9:36 - 11:41] You made me feel like I wasn't gonna knock you to me.
[11:41 - 12:06] This is my end. This is my end. Time to save my world.
[12:07 - 12:24] Yesterday's magic is tomorrow's reality.
[12:25 - 12:50] You made me feel like I wasn't gonna knock you to me.
[12:50 - 12:54] Just none of you fucking care.
[12:54 - 13:00] All you do is have a body start.
[13:00 - 13:07] None of you fucking care.
[13:07 - 13:10] Why?
[13:10 - 13:30] Why does it have to be this way?
[13:30 - 13:39] You saved them from your throne.
[13:39 - 13:48] All the things you've said you've broken down.
[13:48 - 13:57] Now they're not the kind of fucking throne.
[13:57 - 14:03] What do you do when there's a grain of evil?
[14:03 - 14:11] You, you did the lives of those.
[14:11 - 14:14] That did nothing wrong.
[14:14 - 14:22] So you did the grain of life with all that you do.
[14:22 - 14:32] Why? Why was you did the grain of fucking death?
[14:32 - 14:42] And did none of you turn down fucking death?
[14:42 - 14:51] Why did you take your luck in the mirror?
[14:51 - 14:55] See your face.
[14:55 - 15:04] You are the evil that you once shot against.
[15:04 - 15:13] You are now the evil that you spread.
[15:13 - 15:21] You are now the reason for so many deaths.
[15:21 - 15:28] For so many deaths, so a sign too, that it took their lives.
[15:28 - 15:35] Now they're not the few to memorize why.
[15:35 - 15:49] Cry at night, but you're a whiner, baby, and then you're a bad boy.
[15:49 - 15:55] Why, young boy?
[15:55 - 16:05] Can't be so bad an evil to try sometimes.
[16:05 - 16:08] Why they so many lies?
[16:08 - 16:17] Why?
[16:17 - 16:32] Tell me why. Why did you do this to me?
[16:32 - 16:42] So many tears lost, so many tears fought, so many tears died, so many people lost.
[16:42 - 16:46] Tell me why.
[16:46 - 16:53] Lies taken so soon from this fucking world.
[16:53 - 17:02] Because you're the fucking suicide.
[17:02 - 17:06] No, no, no, no, you're real.
[17:06 - 17:11] And I hope one day we'll see them.
[17:11 - 17:28] On the other side.
[17:28 - 17:32] How the fuck is everybody doing this evening?
[17:32 - 17:43] How is everyone this evening?
[17:43 - 17:50] You know, I've been through a lot of shit these last five years.
[17:50 - 17:58] A lot these last five fucking years, man.
[17:58 - 18:03] And I mean a lot.
[18:03 - 18:09] A lot of you people judge me on the internet for my past mistakes,
[18:09 - 18:14] judge me for what I do, thinking that it's funny, but really it's not.
[18:14 - 18:20] And that last song was aimed at you fucking trolls.
[18:20 - 18:35] How many people, how many people have to die before you guys stop?
[18:35 - 18:41] How many people have to take their own lives before we finally stand up
[18:41 - 18:44] and say enough is enough of this shit?
[18:44 - 18:53] How many people have to get bullied every day because of this shit?
[18:53 - 18:56] Too many people have lost their lives to suicide.
[18:56 - 19:02] Too many friends that I know took their lives.
[19:02 - 19:07] Just like a lot of people here, I'm sure some of them you might even know
[19:07 - 19:14] personally have ended their lives because of suicide.
[19:14 - 19:24] And it's truly sickening to see this disease take over this fucking world.
[19:24 - 19:33] Actually a lot of people that I did know listen to my music, if not all of them.
[19:33 - 19:39] A lot of the people that I know personally did listen to my music,
[19:39 - 19:50] did understand my pain, understood what it was to be like where I'm at.
[19:50 - 19:57] And let me tell you right now, I stand for those people whose lives you guys took.
[19:57 - 20:03] You guys think it's funny running your mouths on the internet but it's really not.
[20:03 - 20:08] It's really not a joke and it's really not fucking funny.
[20:08 - 20:13] Imagine if that was you and their position.
[20:13 - 20:17] Imagine if it was you on the edge of suicide.
[20:17 - 20:20] Imagine if it was you dealing with depression.
[20:20 - 20:25] Imagine if it was you being bullied.
[20:25 - 20:31] Imagine the roles reversed.
[20:31 - 20:38] Imagine those roles reversed.
[20:38 - 20:49] Too many people have been gone way too soon.
[20:49 - 20:58] Too many people are gone way too fucking soon because of this shit.
[20:58 - 21:05] And I'm honestly sick and tired of seeing it.
[21:05 - 21:09] We say that we're humans.
[21:09 - 21:17] You guys say that you're human but are you really?
[21:17 - 21:22] Because all I see when I look at you trolls is nothing but a monster.
[21:22 - 21:27] When I look at you trolls, I see nothing but a fucking monster.
[21:27 - 21:30] That is all I see.
[21:30 - 21:37] I see nothing but monsters and ignorant assholes that do nothing but bully others.
[21:37 - 21:39] That is all I see.
[21:39 - 21:58] When I look at you trolls, all I see are a bunch of pathetic bullies that attack people for no reason.
[21:58 - 22:03] When I look at you trolls, all I see is a bully.
[22:03 - 22:09] All I see are monsters coming out to feast.
[22:09 - 22:23] That is all I see.
[22:23 - 22:28] And let me tell you, I was almost one of those people two years ago.
[22:28 - 22:35] I was almost one of those people whose life you trolls took away.
[22:35 - 22:40] I was almost one of those people whose lives you almost took.
[22:40 - 22:49] I was almost one of them.
[22:49 - 22:54] I was almost one of those people whose life you could have taken.
[22:54 - 22:59] I was almost one of them.
[22:59 - 23:12] Because I had attempted suicide twice over.
[23:12 - 23:25] I had attempted suicide twice over two years ago because of you fucking trolls and you fucking bullies.
[23:25 - 23:28] And you think it's easy living with what you say?
[23:28 - 23:30] Hell no, it's not.
[23:30 - 23:38] It's not okay.
[23:38 - 23:41] What you do is never okay.
[23:41 - 23:47] Bullying someone, harassing someone, tearing them down.
[23:47 - 23:55] That is never okay by any means.
[23:55 - 24:00] That is never okay by any fucking means, ever.
[24:00 - 24:03] It is never okay to bully someone.
[24:03 - 24:16] It is never okay to push someone to fucking suicide.
[24:16 - 24:21] Like I said two years ago, I was almost one of them.
[24:21 - 24:28] I was almost one of those people.
[24:28 - 24:33] And thankfully, I'm still here.
[24:33 - 24:36] I'm here to speak for those that don't have a voice.
[24:36 - 24:44] I'm here to speak for those that are no longer with us.
[24:44 - 24:52] I'm here to speak on those that are lost.
[24:52 - 25:01] I'm here to speak for those that no longer have a voice.
[25:01 - 25:05] Because like I said, I am that small person.
[25:05 - 25:08] I am that guy that you guys bully.
[25:08 - 25:11] I am that guy that you bash on.
[25:11 - 25:18] You guys don't think I don't see what you do every day, trying to catfish me.
[25:18 - 25:27] Making videos about how much you fucking hate me.
[25:27 - 25:30] You don't think I don't see the videos that you guys post every day.
[25:30 - 25:32] I see everything.
[25:32 - 25:35] I see everything you guys say about me.
[25:35 - 25:39] I see every single video, every single text in my phone.
[25:39 - 25:44] I see every single thing that you guys say and do about me.
[25:44 - 25:51] And does it hurt a lot? Yes, it really does.
[25:51 - 26:01] But more than anything, it makes me question, what makes you want to do something like that?
[26:01 - 26:09] What makes you want to bully someone the way that you do?
[26:09 - 26:15] What makes you want to push someone to suicide?
[26:15 - 26:25] Like what makes you want to hate someone so much that they end their life?
[26:25 - 26:32] What makes you want to bully someone so much that they take their own life?
[26:32 - 26:38] Which means saving and preserving human life, not taking it away.
[26:38 - 26:42] We are all one people.
[26:42 - 26:45] We are all human beings.
[26:45 - 26:53] And when you're on this panel, when you're in this stream, we are all on the same goddamn team.
[26:53 - 26:55] I'm no better than you.
[26:55 - 26:57] You're no better than me.
[26:57 - 27:01] And no one is better than anyone.
[27:01 - 27:04] We are all on the same goddamn team.
[27:04 - 27:06] Do you understand that?
[27:06 - 27:10] You guys are my equal.
[27:10 - 27:26] You guys are just as important as I am.
[27:26 - 27:30] I do not see myself bigger than anyone.
[27:30 - 27:33] I see myself just like you.
[27:33 - 27:36] I am one of you.
[27:36 - 27:43] I am a human being.
[27:43 - 27:51] I have never once taken a single real fan for granted.
[27:51 - 27:53] You can ask jokes.
[27:53 - 27:54] You can ask CIA.
[27:54 - 27:56] You can ask anyone.
[27:56 - 28:06] I have never once taken a single fan for granted that is truly a fan and not a fake.
[28:06 - 28:15] Every single person that truly supports me, I appreciate the fuck out of them.
[28:15 - 28:22] I appreciate the fuck out of every single person that kept me alive.
[28:22 - 28:31] Every single person that saved my life, those times when I wanted to end myself,
[28:31 - 28:48] those times when I wanted to end myself, I'm thankful for those that kept me here.
[28:48 - 28:56] I'm thankful for those that kept me alive.
[28:56 - 29:08] I'm thankful for those that stopped me from ending my fucking life.
[29:08 - 29:11] Because I was that guy at one point.
[29:11 - 29:23] I almost was a statistic and let me tell you right now, suicide is never the fucking goddamn answer.
[29:23 - 29:31] It is never the fucking answer.
[29:31 - 29:36] And I want to say to those of you out there that are dealing with that,
[29:36 - 29:41] I want you to know that I am sorry that you're going through whatever you're going through.
[29:41 - 29:44] And just know that I fucking care.
[29:44 - 29:47] Just know that I've got your back.
[29:47 - 29:53] Just know that you have someone here who has been through that and who actually gives a shit.
[29:54 - 30:49] [Silence]
[30:49 - 31:01] In this song right here, this song right here is going out to anybody out there dealing with depression or having thoughts of suicide.
[31:01 - 31:05] It is never too late.
[31:05 - 31:12] It's never too late to turn back and not end your life.
[31:12 - 31:19] So with this song, I beg you to please don't die.
[31:19 - 31:22] Don't take yourself away from this world.
[31:22 - 31:25] Stand up and fight.
[31:25 - 36:15] [Silence]
[36:15 - 36:23] Don't know what it's like to deal with depression. Here's your eye opener.
[36:23 - 39:41] [Silence]
[39:41 - 39:46] Now, I have one question for everyone here.
[39:46 - 39:55] How many of you guys remember the late and great Mitch Lucker from the Bad Suicide Silence?
[39:55 - 40:10] [Silence]
[40:10 - 40:15] Well, I want to see every single one of you right now.
[40:15 - 40:25] Put a candle with R.I.P. Mitch Lucker and #SaveHumanLife.
[40:25 - 40:32] Because at the end of the day, we are all the fucking same.
[40:32 - 41:01] But not until I say go.
[41:01 - 41:03] Is that clear?
[41:03 - 41:10] Sick of all ugly ads like this one? Just head to AdsKiller.com. Click on Activate Now.
[41:10 - 41:15] Hold! Hold!
[41:15 - 41:23] Three! Two! One! Go!
[41:23 - 41:30] It is a block running through our veins of the same. Nothing is the same.
[41:30 - 41:33] No, no, no, no, no, nothing is gone.
[41:33 - 41:38] It is a degenerate shame. We are all the same.
[41:38 - 41:42] We are all the rest of all the new blame.
[41:42 - 41:49] So if we are all human, I try. We are the same. We are the same.
[41:49 - 41:52] Where did you remember ours?
[41:52 - 41:55] What did they remember when they broke the glass?
[41:55 - 41:58] They had to run to a merrily browse.
[41:58 - 42:05] They had to run in the dark when they were last.
[42:05 - 42:11] No, it is not the same. No, it is not the same.
[42:11 - 42:20] We are all the enemies. We are all the same.
[42:20 - 51:32] No, it is not the same.
[51:32 - 51:36] Why is it that you guys don't want to let go of what I did?
[51:36 - 51:40] Is it because you don't want me to be better? Is that it?
[51:40 - 51:44] Do you not want me to improve my life? Is that it?
[51:44 - 51:48] Do you not want me to do better for myself? Is that what you are saying?
[51:48 - 52:01] You guys always talk about how you want me to do better.
[52:01 - 52:05] And if you want to do better, then let the shit go.
[52:05 - 52:08] Move the fuck on.
[52:08 - 52:12] And actually, no, I do not.
[52:12 - 52:15] And I can very well prove that, you can.
[52:15 - 52:24] I can easily disprove every single thing that these other people have said and done.
[52:24 - 52:26] I can easily disprove it.
[52:26 - 52:30] And I have multiple, multiple times.
[52:30 - 52:37] I have easily disproved every single thing said about me.
[52:37 - 52:50] I have disproved every single thing ever made up about me and ever said about me.
[52:50 - 52:54] So, glory home, National Mafia.
[52:56 - 53:02] Music bitch, Marty. You guys can take your fake-ass screenshots.
[53:02 - 53:07] You can shove them up your ass, and you can go fuck yourself.
[53:07 - 53:12] Because I know what you guys are trying to do, and it ain't going to work, motherfuckers.
[53:12 - 53:15] So, screw you.
[53:15 - 53:22] Screw everything that you ever tried to do to me.
[53:22 - 53:32] And Bay Shaman, you can take your dumb fuckin' Jafar turban wearin' ass the fuck somewhere else, pal.
[53:32 - 53:37] Matter of fact, Jafar did not tell you last night.
[53:37 - 53:43] Matter of fact, Bay Shaman did not tell you last night to give Jafar his fuckin' turban back, you dumb fuck.
[53:48 - 53:53] Did not tell you last night to give Jafar his goddamn turban back, motherfucker.
[53:53 - 54:02] Alright, we all know this ain't Halloween, motherfucker, and we all know damn well you ain't no goddamn shaman, bro.
[54:15 - 54:20] We all know you ain't no goddamn shaman, boy, so stop pretendin'.
[54:20 - 54:25] Stop actin' like somethin' that you're not, motherfucker.
[54:25 - 54:33] All you are is a fake cloud-chasing pussy. That's all you are.
[54:33 - 54:41] You're a cloud-chasing pussy, just like every other goddamn troll on the internet.
[54:42 - 54:45] You're a cloud-chasing little bitch.
[54:45 - 54:56] And shout out to my boy, Dr. Phil. What's good, man?
[54:57 - 54:59] What's good, man?
[55:16 - 55:36] Which, while I'm starting tomorrow, I am gonna be taking a break for a day or two to get better. Because something that I haven't told anyone really yet that I tried to hide, but it's very hard for me to not show the signs.
[55:42 - 55:48] See, the shit that I deal with because of you trolls is something called stress-induced eczema.
[55:48 - 56:05] And if you don't know what eczema is, imagine having dry skin so bad that it creates sores all over your fucking body, and it makes it hard for you to move, sit up, stand, and bend over, the normal things that we take for granted.
[56:06 - 56:18] That's what I deal with because of you trolls. And it's gotten so bad to the point where I am gonna have to go back to the goddamn hospital just to fucking get it checked out and try to get healed up.
[56:23 - 56:33] And trust me when I say, stress-induced eczema is the worst. By far, it is the fucking worst.
[56:33 - 56:44] It's like being trapped inside your own fucking body. Imagine feeling trapped in your own body.
[56:44 - 56:51] Imagine feeling so trapped in your body that you want out.
[56:51 - 57:03] That's how bad it is for me every fucking day. And guess what it was caused by? You guys, the trolls.
[57:08 - 57:21] All right, be safe, CIA. Which is why, until I heal up, I'm taking a fucking break because I don't need the stress. I need to be stress-free, not stressful.
[57:29 - 57:38] I don't need this stress. What I need is for you guys to leave me alone so I can heal. That's what I need.
[57:46 - 58:09] Honestly, Tyler, no, I'm not. I wish I was, but I'm not. Which is why I'm taking time off from myself so I can heal up, so I can get well, so that I can get back to myself that I used to be.
[58:10 - 58:24] Thanks, Trevor. I appreciate that. But with that being said, guys, I'm gonna fucking go.
[58:24 - 58:53] That way I can fucking heal up and get better. But I can promise you guys this. When I do come back, I will be bigger and better than I was before. I can promise you that.
[58:53 - 59:05] The day I come back, I'm going to be better than fucking ever. I can promise you that.
[59:14 - 59:32] I can promise you the day that I come back from all this, I will be better than I was before. I can promise you that. And I can promise you guys, my real supporters, my real fans, the people that do genuinely support me, I can promise you guys that I will do everything in my power to get well.
[59:35 - 59:51] I can promise you guys that I will do everything in my fucking power to get better for you guys. I can promise you that. Because I want to get better for myself, my friends, my family, and more importantly, I want to get better for you guys.
[59:54 - 60:13] I want to do better and I want to be better for you guys. So until then, I will catch you guys later on. If you guys have me on Discord, you guys know where to hit me up. If you guys got me on Facebook, you guys know where to get me.
[60:14 - 60:29] So with that being said, I fucking love you guys and I will see you as soon as I'm better.