2022-11-23 A Message to anyone dealing with Depression

[0:00 - 0:10] and what's up everybody um so i know i was gonna make another video in the morning but
[0:10 - 0:14] something new tells me to make this video
[0:14 - 0:22] and for those that know
[0:25 - 0:37] about the death of Jason Duke Frank a lot of you guys know how much he meant to so many people
[0:37 - 0:46] especially his daughter Jenna who wrote a very very heartfelt post on instagram and twitter
[0:49 - 0:56] for those that don't understand why i mourned the loss of Jason David Frank so much
[0:56 - 1:07] let me tell you my dad as a kid was never around
[1:07 - 1:17] i never had a father figure growing up at all so for me
[1:18 - 1:24] Jason David Frank, the green ranger, Tommy Oliver
[1:24 - 1:32] and that was my father figure growing up
[1:32 - 1:46] so when Jason passed just the other day i felt like i had lost a member of my family
[1:47 - 1:53] i felt like i had lost my dad even though he wasn't my dad by blood
[1:53 - 1:58] as i said i had no dad growing up my dad was never there
[1:58 - 2:15] so for me growing up Jason David Frank was my hero my idol the guy that i looked up to the
[2:15 - 2:33] most more than anything in the world and you know like i said when i when i heard about his passing
[2:33 - 2:40] i didn't want to i didn't want to believe it i really didn't i didn't want to believe it was true
[2:42 - 2:46] and then when i saw it on the news all i could do was fucking bomb my eyes out
[2:46 - 2:57] because like i said for me Jason David Frank was not only my childhood hero
[2:57 - 3:06] that i looked up to as a kid but he was also my father figure in my life because i had no dad
[3:08 - 3:15] so whenever somebody like Marty said what he said that hurt me a lot
[3:15 - 3:28] and when i got to speak with Jason through his comments
[3:30 - 3:39] on one of his live streams a few months like a few years ago um i was on the verge of trying
[3:39 - 3:47] to commit suicide for a third time and i reached out because i didn't know who else to turn to
[3:47 - 3:54] and his whole fan base including him was there for me
[3:56 - 4:04] other fans of him along with himself was there he's the reason i didn't commit suicide
[4:04 - 4:07] he's the reason why i'm still here today
[4:07 - 4:13] he's the reason why i didn't attempt to end my life at third on third time
[4:13 - 4:22] and to those of you guys that were there that night
[4:23 - 4:29] during that live stream if any of you guys do see this i want to say i want to say thank you
[4:29 - 4:35] i want to say thank you to everybody that was there that night
[4:35 - 4:39] that kept me from ending my life
[4:39 - 4:44] you guys don't know how much that means to me
[4:47 - 4:54] what you guys and what Jason did for me i could never ever in my whole life ever repay
[4:54 - 5:00] i could never repay you guys for what you guys have done for me
[5:00 - 5:04] and believe me i wish i could
[5:04 - 5:14] and to Jenna Frank i want to say that i am so sorry for your dad i am so sorry that you
[5:14 - 5:21] for your boss and that you've lost your dad i know how close you guys were to kind of like you said
[5:21 - 5:27] you said it best in your post he was your best friend you guys traveled the world together
[5:27 - 5:34] literally i watched everything you guys did everything from the uh
[5:34 - 5:39] the short series that you guys did on youtube that was like a vlog
[5:42 - 5:46] called my morphin life i watch every single outside of my morphin life
[5:46 - 5:50] so i know how close you guys were
[5:50 - 5:57] and words cannot express enough how
[5:57 - 6:04] how hard things are for you right now
[6:09 - 6:17] and i know things are hard and trust me i know because i've lost many friends to suicide
[6:17 - 6:26] and it's never easy losing a friend to suicide it's literally the worst feeling in the world
[6:31 - 6:39] so on behalf of myself my fans and more importantly my family and my friends
[6:39 - 6:47] i would like to extend my most deepest and most heartfelt condolences to you Jenna
[6:47 - 6:51] and your family and the entire Frank the entire Frank family
[6:51 - 6:57] your dad was a hero to a lot of people including myself
[6:58 - 7:04] and your dad will always be loved your dad will always be missed
[7:04 - 7:12] always and nothing is ever going to change what he's done for people
[7:12 - 7:20] the amazing things that your dad has done to people and for people
[7:20 - 7:26] you there's no amount of money that can ever buy that
[7:26 - 7:33] never buy that ever the things that he has done for people will never be forgotten
[7:33 - 7:42] whether it be when he kept me from ending my life whether it be the charities that he did for people
[7:42 - 7:47] your dad's legacy will always live on forever
[7:47 - 7:49] you
[7:49 - 8:03] and for those of you out there
[8:03 - 8:13] that are like me that have struggled with depression or struggled with any thoughts
[8:13 - 8:16] of suicide i want to say that i am sorry that you're going through that
[8:17 - 8:22] i struggle with depression every day because of what i get put through
[8:22 - 8:29] and it's not easy it's never easy
[8:29 - 8:46] it's never easy dealing with depression suicide it hurts a lot more than people seem to think
[8:46 - 8:56] and believe me when i say i know how hard it can be
[8:56 - 9:06] i know how hard things can be because i've been on the edge so many times
[9:06 - 9:11] and i wouldn't wish that on anyone at all
[9:15 - 9:21] i would never wish anybody to be on the edge of suicide or deal with depression ever
[9:21 - 9:30] every day i wake up and i get bullied for no reason at all
[9:36 - 9:45] every day when i wake up it's a struggle every day i wake up and i hope and pray to god that
[9:45 - 9:52] it ends but it never does even if i leave the internet for a month or three months
[9:52 - 9:55] it doesn't end
[10:00 - 10:08] like a lot of people like to judge me because of my past mistakes and i understand that and i get it
[10:08 - 10:16] but there's no reason they keep judging me on my past
[10:16 - 10:22] because a couple weeks ago when i was almost killed
[10:25 - 10:41] you guys don't know how scary that was for me you guys don't know how scary that was for me
[10:53 - 10:59] when i saw those bullet holes my life changed forever
[10:59 - 11:09] my life literally changed forever and it made me fucking realize
[11:09 - 11:20] that life is too goddamn short to be dealing with crap life is too short to be bullying people
[11:20 - 11:26] life is too short to be staying angry at people
[11:26 - 11:34] which is why i tried to reach out to the nightlight like i did because i
[11:34 - 11:38] i had some sort of hope that we could possibly rekindle our friendship
[11:38 - 11:49] but unfortunately that didn't happen you know people will stay here and they judge me for
[11:49 - 11:58] this the stupidest things
[11:58 - 12:14] and tonight when i heard my dad my stepdad crying in pain because of his knee surgery
[12:14 - 12:28] and when i heard my my stepdad crying in fucking tears because of the pain that his
[12:28 - 12:33] knee was in from knee surgery it broke my heart so bad
[12:38 - 12:48] and for those of you that have not gone through that kind of stuff with your family member you
[12:48 - 12:56] guys wouldn't understand how heartbreaking it is to hear your stepdad crying in fucking pain like
[12:56 - 13:06] literal tears i was in the bathroom taking a shower and i could hear him crying over the shower
[13:06 - 13:13] and you guys don't know how much that fucking hurt
[13:13 - 13:19] hearing him cry in pain because of the pain that he's dealing with
[13:19 - 13:31] you guys really don't understand my life like you seem to think that you do
[13:35 - 13:40] you guys really don't understand how hard it is for me and my family
[13:40 - 13:48] because of these trolls i cannot get a normal job because of these trolls
[13:48 - 13:57] there's a lot of things i want to do again that i can't do
[13:57 - 14:03] there's a lot of things i would like to do to be able to make money for my family but i can't do
[14:03 - 14:21] those things out of fear that my stuff's going to be torn down i'll be stomped on
[14:21 - 14:40] see what a lot of people don't understand is that these trolls what they do is if you get a job
[14:40 - 14:48] like let's say one of you guys were being trolled like floor tap let's say that you were
[14:48 - 14:57] let's say that you were in my position okay let's say that let's say that you floor tap got a job at
[14:57 - 15:05] where you were saying right or at walmart's and you had trolls attacking you you know what these
[15:05 - 15:10] you know what these trolls do they will call your job and get you fired
[15:14 - 15:17] they will call out there and they will get you fired
[15:17 - 15:24] and they will call out there until you do get fired that's what they do
[15:24 - 15:41] why you think it's so hard for me to get a fucking job
[15:42 - 15:50] because i know if i get a job i would get fucking fired right off the fucking rip
[15:50 - 15:58] and it's not that i don't want to get a job but i know damn well i would get fucking fired
[15:58 - 16:05] and christie let me tell you it don't matter if i say anything or not it really doesn't
[16:06 - 16:13] it really doesn't my good my now former good friend brendan nobody knew where he worked at
[16:13 - 16:19] and you know what he did he ended up getting fired because the trolls went through my shit
[16:19 - 16:25] and figured out where he fucking worked at and got him fired so how long would it be
[16:25 - 16:30] before i got fired how long would it be before they found out where i worked and got me fired
[16:31 - 16:37] you guys think about that how long would it be before i got fired from my job
[16:37 - 16:40] before they found out where i worked and got me fired
[16:40 - 16:48] it's not that i don't want to work is that i fucking came because of these goddamn trolls
[16:48 - 16:51] they don't want me making any kind of money no matter what
[16:51 - 16:56] and it's fucking sickening
[16:56 - 16:58] okay
[16:58 - 17:10] here's the thing christie i did give it a chance i actually did
[17:10 - 17:20] for several months two years ago for several months i called around to every fucking place
[17:21 - 17:27] and you know what they did they turned me down because they know my history they
[17:27 - 17:30] know about the situation that fucking went on
[17:30 - 17:40] which is why i resorted to doing scrapping like i did
[17:40 - 17:47] but now i can't even do that out of fear that i'll get fucking hurt
[17:47 - 17:56] so
[17:56 - 18:12] you know what's funny is i had a job doing pro streaming
[18:14 - 18:18] i actually did have a job doing professional streaming on twitch
[18:18 - 18:22] and you know what these trolls did you want to know what they did to me
[18:22 - 18:26] they made it look like i was doing shit outside of twitch
[18:26 - 18:31] that i wasn't fucking doing and guess what i got banned for it
[18:31 - 18:39] i got banned for shit that i wasn't even fucking doing
[18:40 - 18:44] i got fired from the record label that i was hired on dude
[18:44 - 18:49] my friend fucking fired me from his game company where i was doing audio engineer work
[18:49 - 18:57] these people literally don't want me making a single goddamn dime
[18:57 - 19:05] and it's fucking sickening
[19:05 - 19:22] like i had a job a good one one that i actually enjoyed
[19:22 - 19:34] one that i truly fucking loved and enjoyed doing and guess what fired banned fired again
[19:34 - 19:54] and trust me christie i wish it was that fucking easy i really do
[19:54 - 19:58] but let's see you go through what i went through
[19:58 - 20:01] let's see you almost get shot and killed on a live stream
[20:03 - 20:05] let's see you have your name ran through the mud
[20:05 - 20:12] let's see you go through the shit that i went through and be okay
[20:13 - 20:34] let's see you go through everything that i went through and see if you turn out okay
[20:34 - 20:40] and actually it's not wrong i have been put through hell by these trolls
[20:41 - 20:47] do you know how much artwork i have on my computer alone that people would love to buy
[20:47 - 20:52] but i can't sell right now because of the trolls
[20:52 - 21:01] do you know how many fucking art pieces i have just sitting on my computer
[21:01 - 21:10] try over 200 pieces that i can't even sell because these trolls will find a way to fucking
[21:10 - 21:24] shut me down every time i set up shop they shut me down every time i set something up and i get
[21:24 - 21:40] just a little bit of hell guess what they come in and they fuck me over every time
[21:40 - 21:47] so unless somebody has a way to stop these fucking trolls i can't see away
[21:47 - 21:58] unless somebody has a way to stop these fucking trolls i don't see a way out of any of this
[21:58 - 22:01] i really don't
[22:01 - 22:13] anti act fiber let me ask you this how am i going to ignore them shutting down my ways of making
[22:13 - 22:21] money how can you can't just ignore them shutting you down like that you can't just ignore them
[22:21 - 22:26] taking away your ways of making money of making a living for your family that's not something
[22:26 - 22:32] you can ignore you can't just ignore them damn near fucking blowing your head off during a
[22:32 - 22:42] live stream that's not something that can be ignored i can ignore the comments but how are
[22:42 - 22:48] you supposed to ignore when somebody shoots a fucking bullet through your window and tries to
[22:48 - 22:55] kill you when you're on a live stream how do you ignore that how do you ignore when they shut down
[22:55 - 23:01] your shop time and time and time again how are you supposed to ignore that you can't
[23:01 - 23:11] you can't just ignore that because that shit is real fucking life
[23:18 - 23:27] you can't just ignore that shit i'm doing all i can to be able to at least provide something
[23:27 - 23:34] for my family who gave me everything i was on a professional label at one point and guess what i
[23:34 - 23:54] got fired i was on twitch as a professional streamer i had over 830 like i want to say 837
[23:54 - 24:05] followers and guess what 20 of those followers were paid subscribers actual paid subscribers
[24:12 - 24:25] and guess what the trolls did they made it look like i was doing shit that i wasn't doing
[24:25 - 24:35] unfortunately for tap i can't i'm actually perma band from there i can't
[24:38 - 24:46] unfortunately i am fucking perma band i can't there's nothing i can do
[24:46 - 24:59] actually no it's not for me twitch is way way fucking better and you want to know why
[24:59 - 25:05] because unlike youtube twitch doesn't put up with the fucking garbage ass troll shit
[25:05 - 25:09] they don't put up with that crap over there which is why i like them
[25:09 - 25:13] i like how strict they are i really do i love it
[25:13 - 25:22] maybe youtube needs to take fucking notes and implement what twitch does
[25:23 - 25:23] you
[25:23 - 25:45] like it's fucking sickening
[25:50 - 25:57] you know i've got all this you know it's funny i have all this fucking skill that i
[25:57 - 26:05] can easily make money off of but yet no one wants to see me succeed why why does no one
[26:05 - 26:11] want to see me fucking make it why does no one want to see me do good for myself forget
[26:11 - 26:17] about the shit with mass hole for a second let's let's take that out of the equation let's take
[26:17 - 26:21] that shit that happened with mass troll mafia let's take that out of the equation for a minute
[26:21 - 26:28] and let's look at the shit as a fucking hole let's take the mass hole shit out
[26:28 - 26:35] and let's look at the bare bones of this shit why is it that from day one none of you motherfuckers
[26:35 - 26:43] ever wanted to see me succeed from day one yes marty that includes you from day one dude you
[26:43 - 26:54] never wanted to see me succeed ever you never wanted to see me succeed ever
[26:54 - 27:04] ever you wanted to fucking hold me down because you can't get over the fucking fact that i said
[27:04 - 27:11] fuck you i'm not gay and i turned you down and ever since then what did you do you made my life
[27:11 - 27:19] a living fucking hell and not to mention we all know that you still owe me a hundred dollars
[27:19 - 27:32] we all know that you still owe me money motherfucker we all know this we all know that you still
[27:32 - 27:45] fucking owe me money we all know that you still fucking owe me money that you never fucking paid
[27:45 - 27:56] up for because you're a piece of shit businessman and you never hold up your end of any deals ever
[27:59 - 28:11] which is sickening you know i do everything i can to actually make money
[28:11 - 28:23] you know i do everything i can in my power to make money doing shit that i can actually make
[28:23 - 28:35] money at like my music my artwork that shit that i'm actually good at doing but yet no one wants
[28:35 - 28:43] to see me succeed and you know what i say to that dude i say fuck skull scratcher comedy
[28:43 - 28:51] that shit's a joke skull scratcher comedy is something that i did because i fucking had to
[28:51 - 28:59] not because i wanted to i did that because i had to not because i wanted to i did that
[28:59 - 29:03] because i absolutely felt like i had no choice but to do that
[29:03 - 29:11] and i hated every second of it i hated it
[29:11 - 29:21] i hated every second of doing that i only did that to protect myself from the fucking trolls
[29:21 - 29:26] not because i wanted to but because i had to i had to do something to protect myself from
[29:26 - 29:33] the fucking trolls and being attacked not because i wanted to but because i fucking had to
[29:33 - 29:42] and you know it's funny people always ask me oh why haven't you made any money well let me tell
[29:42 - 29:52] you guys the fucking truth y'all want to know why i don't make any money here's the fucking truth
[29:52 - 29:59] y'all want to know why i haven't made any money off of any of my shit here's the goddamn truth
[29:59 - 30:05] it's because of people like marty and william gloryhole that steal my shit that steal my
[30:05 - 30:15] streams repost them and then strike me down just so they can keep them just so they can keep my
[30:15 - 30:30] streams and then they get paid they get paid to fuck with me and it's sickening
[30:34 - 30:41] they sit there steal my live streams repost them and then guess what i get struck down for no
[30:41 - 31:02] reason i can't copyright claim struck on my own fucking videos that they steal from me
[31:02 - 31:08] and it's honestly disgusting why do you think i haven't made any money off of any of my videos that's why
[31:10 - 31:17] because these people want to run around steal my fucking videos strike me down
[31:17 - 31:21] and guess what they get to keep the revenue while i make nothing
[31:21 - 31:32] don't blame me do your research look for yourselves look for your fucking selves
[31:33 - 31:40] seriously don't look you'll see for yourselves that all my videos i've posted
[31:40 - 31:46] they either re-stream them or they re-streamed them and then got the channels taken down
[31:46 - 31:58] now tell me where that's fair
[32:02 - 32:05] tell me where it's fair that these people do this shit and get away with it
[32:05 - 32:16] tell me where it's fair that i lose every job i fucking have that i actually have proven to be
[32:16 - 32:23] able to make money at tell me where it's fair that i don't get to make a living off of my work
[32:23 - 32:32] off of stuff that i work my ass off on tell me where it's fair where i work my ass off
[32:32 - 32:39] day and fucking night on everything that i do i put my blood sweat and tears into every song
[32:39 - 32:57] every art piece every video and yeah i still don't get to make a single fucking dime
[32:57 - 33:09] like unless somebody has some sort of fucking way to magically get these motherfuckers to stop
[33:09 - 33:19] i don't see a way i don't like i said i have over 200 digital art pieces on my computer alone
[33:19 - 33:27] waiting to be sold and not to mention i have 12 hand-done painted art pieces and over a hundred
[33:27 - 33:32] hand-drawn art pieces that are ready to be fucking sold at any fucking time
[33:35 - 33:41] but yet my shit gets stuck but yet my shit gets
[33:41 - 33:49] shut down because of the fucking assholes dude even with etsy i already tried etsy
[33:49 - 33:53] they shut me down on there as well because they broke into my shit and shut me down
[33:53 - 33:59] they literally hacked into my shit and shut me down
[33:59 - 34:14] i went through red bubble ones and they are way too expensive for people
[34:14 - 34:21] which is why i go through bonfire to do all my stuff that's why i go through bonfire
[34:21 - 34:28] actually lucy you're actually wrong it actually is the trolls
[34:29 - 34:46] the trolls literally will go in and they will report they will mass report my shit
[34:46 - 34:54] until it gets struck down literally they will mass fucking report me until my shit gets shut
[34:54 - 35:01] down they will send email after email or do whatever it takes to get it shut down
[35:01 - 35:06] because they don't want to see me make any fucking money at all
[35:17 - 35:25] thank you socks and sandals i appreciate that
[35:25 - 35:30] like you know everybody thinks that this shit's a fucking joke but this is my fucking life's
[35:30 - 35:47] work that we're talking about this is years and years of busting my fucking ass
[35:47 - 35:56] and we're talking we're talking 10 years worth of busting my fucking ass
[35:56 - 36:01] working my working my fucking ass off every fucking day
[36:01 - 36:06] building something that i could be fucking proud of
[36:06 - 36:11] building something that my family could be proud of
[36:11 - 36:24] and why the fuck is this shit not pasting hold on
[36:26 - 36:30] i know one of you guys wanted the merchandise shop so give me just a second here i'm trying
[36:30 - 36:38] to find it oh and by the way you guys want to know why i was never able to sell that song
[36:38 - 36:45] street racing scene on any platforms i'll tell you why because fucking william gloryhole took my
[36:45 - 36:55] name when the name lance chokens stole my song and sold it through fucking um through fucking
[36:55 - 37:02] tune core and now he has the rights to that fucking song so yeah for those of you wondering
[37:02 - 37:08] why street racing scene never got released that's why because william gloryhole fucking took
[37:09 - 37:25] stole my song and now he has the fucking rights to it thanks to fucking tune core
[37:25 - 37:54] so yeah for those of you wondering what happened to that song now you guys know
[37:55 - 37:57] now you guys know the fucking truth
[37:57 - 38:11] now you guys know why i never got to sell that song and why i'm not able to play that song like
[38:11 - 38:17] you guys want me to and believe me i would love to i would love to be able to perform that song
[38:17 - 38:23] for you guys because i know you guys love that song but unfortunately due to copyrights i'm not
[38:23 - 38:32] able to and it's fucking sickening
[38:32 - 38:46] not to mention my song letter to the lost he stole that and a couple other songs as well
[38:48 - 38:53] but my two most important songs street racing scene which talks about how i came up
[38:53 - 38:57] around the car scene and that letter to the lost
[38:57 - 39:08] my song letter to the lost that was me asking my friends that have committed suicide why they took
[39:08 - 39:16] their own lives why it was literally me asking why did they take their lives what happened what
[39:16 - 39:20] put them in that position to make them take their own life
[39:20 - 39:29] yeah all this does come down to marty because he's the one that started all this shit
[39:29 - 39:36] but if you want to get real real technical thorn i could tell you who started it with him
[39:36 - 39:43] it was my picture and ex candle smith she got mad that i broke up with her so she ran around
[39:43 - 39:49] the internet making up lies about me and somehow rather got in contact with music biz marty
[39:49 - 39:55] and from there that's when shit began that's when i began getting attacked
[39:55 - 40:01] that's when i began getting harassed that's when all the bullion began
[40:01 - 40:07] was after candle ran her fucking bitch mouth to marty saying i was doing shit that i wasn't doing
[40:10 - 40:14] and now as a result you see what happened over the last five years
[40:14 - 40:19] so yeah now you guys know the real fucking truth about what really went on
[40:19 - 40:24] now you guys know the real fucking truth
[40:32 - 40:39] now you guys know what really happened candle fucking got mad because i broke up with her
[40:39 - 40:46] because she's a fucking psycho and she ran her mouth to marty and then from there marty
[40:46 - 40:52] began attacking me so yeah you know now you guys know the real fucking truth
[40:52 - 40:56] now y'all know what really fucking went down that night
[40:57 - 40:59] you
[40:59 - 41:22] and now y'all know why i got put in this position that i'm in that i fucking hate so much
[41:23 - 41:34] i fucking hate being in this position
[41:50 - 41:56] like i hate being stuck in this position i know what i'm capable of i know what i can do
[41:56 - 42:01] but you want to know what the real kicker is you want to know it really
[42:01 - 42:10] really hurts the stuff that i used to do like my artwork my music
[42:10 - 42:19] you know it's really sad i don't even enjoy doing any of that anymore like i used to
[42:19 - 42:20] because of these trolls
[42:20 - 42:29] because of these trolls i don't enjoy doing things that i used to do
[42:29 - 42:35] i don't even enjoy doing music anymore which is sad and i should enjoy that i should
[42:35 - 42:41] like i can't enjoy anything anymore like i used to
[42:41 - 42:48] like i used to enjoy doing music all the time now i just do it just to do it
[42:48 - 42:56] i used to enjoy doing artwork now i only do it whenever somebody wants a logo done
[42:56 - 43:02] and they pay me for it and that's it other than that the last time i recorded any music
[43:02 - 43:11] was a long while ago the last time i recorded any music was over six months ago
[43:12 - 43:18] literally six fucking months ago was the last time i recorded any kind of music
[43:18 - 43:23] all my music that i've recorded has been sitting on my Chromebook just sitting there stagnant
[43:23 - 43:29] not released not nothing just fucking sitting there
[43:29 - 43:37] and you wonder why because i'm so afraid to put my music out there now because of these trolls
[43:41 - 43:46] because i've witnessed firsthand what these trolls can do i've seen what they're capable
[43:46 - 43:53] of and it's scary what they can do these same people that attacked me are the same ones
[43:53 - 44:01] that got chris chan locked in prison the same ones that caused so many people before him to
[44:01 - 44:09] commit suicide and that's sad over 10 people committed suicide because of these trolls
[44:10 - 44:15] and those trolls are music biz marty william gloryhole and mass troll mafia
[44:15 - 44:29] those people caused over 10 people to take their own life
[44:29 - 44:35] 10 over 10 people are sadly no longer with us on this earth
[44:38 - 44:43] because of these people and what i want to know is when does it stop
[44:43 - 44:51] when does the bullying end does it end when i'm dead in the ground does it end when
[44:51 - 45:09] several other people are dead when does it fucking stop
[45:09 - 45:15] when does the bullying and the hatred stop
[45:17 - 45:22] that's what i want to know when does the suicide with these guys in
[45:22 - 45:26] when does the hatred and the bullying and i want to know
[45:26 - 45:37] like how many people have to lose their lives
[45:37 - 45:41] before somebody steps up and does something i don't understand
[45:47 - 45:54] like how many innocent lives have to be taken from this earth how many innocent people have to die
[45:54 - 46:08] i don't understand
[46:08 - 46:17] so
[46:17 - 46:23] like how many people have to be taken
[46:23 - 46:32] unfortunately terry there's not the cops here literally refuse to do anything
[46:32 - 46:37] the cops here you know what they told me they flat out told me they're not going to
[46:37 - 46:42] worry about taking the bullet out of the mattress they're not going to worry about doing anything
[46:42 - 46:48] about these people they flat out told me to my face that they're not going to do anything
[46:57 - 47:08] and you tell me how sickening that is
[47:08 - 47:16] oh laws have been broken people have tried to fucking kill me when i was on a live stream
[47:22 - 47:28] like if you actually look somebody actually tried to kill me a couple fucking weeks ago
[47:28 - 47:35] when i was on live stream that should be proof enough right there that really should that should
[47:35 - 47:40] be more than fucking proof enough but yet the cops here don't want to do shit
[47:45 - 47:53] and you want to know why because the cops here are fucking lazy the cops here don't see it as
[47:53 - 48:04] real life when it is real life let me tell you something had i been laying on that bed right there
[48:04 - 48:12] two weeks ago i wouldn't be here had i been laying on that bed when that bullet went through
[48:12 - 48:19] my window i would be dead right now i would literally be dead right now if i had been laying
[48:19 - 48:31] on that bed as if that's not proof enough as if the video that i showed them ain't proof enough
[48:31 - 48:42] as if the bullet holes in the windows on the mattress ain't proof enough you want to know
[48:42 - 48:48] why it is because i sleep on the goddamn floor i sleep on the floor right next to the bed so that
[48:48 - 48:53] if someone does shoot in they can't fucking hit me and they can't shoot me through a goddamn wall
[48:53 - 49:00] because i'll be honest these walls are shit i'm not gonna lie you can literally take a 12 gauge
[49:00 - 49:05] hold it up to the fucking wall and it'll go right through like it's nothing like it's fucking paper
[49:05 - 49:09] so i sleep on the floor up against the fucking bed
[49:09 - 49:20] so they can't fucking hit me i'm not stupid i'm actually smart
[49:26 - 49:30] and no gym jam i'm not going to do that i'm going to leave that for the authorities to do
[49:30 - 49:37] that's for them to do not me that is for them to do not me
[49:37 - 49:47] you want to know why fingerprints i'm not going to take that risk i'm not going to risk my
[49:47 - 49:52] fingerprints being on a bullet and have me get blamed for a crime that i didn't even fucking
[49:52 - 50:02] commit i'm not doing that
[50:02 - 50:17] here's the thing yawn watch the fucking video
[50:19 - 50:25] look at the photos they're around they're fooling around go look for your fucking self
[50:25 - 50:31] the video says it all right there the video says everything
[50:31 - 50:39] and i've shown the photos and the mattress and the windows so many times that i don't
[50:39 - 50:44] need that i shouldn't have to show it anymore i shouldn't fucking have to i have showed that
[50:44 - 50:54] shit so many times over and here's the thing how am i supposed to get a bullet out of this
[50:54 - 51:15] dog into my mattress fuck that like you guys really just don't seem to understand
[51:15 - 51:20] i'm not i'm not hating on anyone but i am saying this what i'm saying is this
[51:20 - 51:23] you guys really don't understand what fight to be in my position
[51:23 - 51:31] you guys really don't understand what it's like to be bullied for over five years
[51:31 - 51:36] by a massive group
[51:36 - 51:43] of people that want to see you fail that want to see you fall
[51:43 - 51:48] by a massive group that will do anything they can to see you torn down and destroyed
[51:52 - 51:54] and then they sit there and try to have you kill
[51:54 - 52:06] like you guys don't understand i almost committed suicide because of these people
[52:06 - 52:14] matter of fact i had attempted it twice two years ago because of these people and i almost
[52:14 - 52:21] i almost did it a third time but i didn't i had attempted to take my own life
[52:22 - 52:26] twice two times over because of these people
[52:26 - 52:32] i trust you when i say i'm glad that i am still here
[52:32 - 52:39] because i don't want to be another statistic i want to be that person that can help somebody
[52:48 - 52:54] i want to be that person that can help somebody get through their stuff just like i got through
[52:54 - 53:02] mine i got lucky i had friends and family there to stop me i got very fortunate my friends and
[53:02 - 53:08] family kept me from taking my life i got lucky but sadly there's a lot of people out there that
[53:08 - 53:14] don't have that luxury that don't have friends and family and those are the ones that i fucking
[53:14 - 53:21] speak for the ones that ain't got nobody those are the ones that i fucking speak for those
[53:21 - 53:26] are the ones that i stand up for because i know what it's like to have nobody i know what it's
[53:26 - 53:35] like to be there because at one point i didn't have anybody at one point i was alone i didn't
[53:35 - 53:42] have anybody at one point so i know what it's like to be there and those are the kinds of people
[53:42 - 53:50] that i speak for and what i want to know is how long is it going to be before this massive group
[53:50 - 53:57] of internet bullies it's fucking stop when did somebody get a step up and say fuck this
[53:57 - 53:59] and put a stop to this shit on
[53:59 - 54:08] when is somebody get a step to fuck up and say fuck this and actually do something about it
[54:08 - 54:25] when is somebody get a step up and say fuck these guys and do something to stop
[54:25 - 54:32] it because i tried it by myself and i can't do shit i tried fighting this battle by myself but
[54:32 - 54:45] i can't do it now if one of you guys would like to come up with a good idea on how to stop these
[54:45 - 54:59] guys please hit me up on discord let me know
[55:10 - 55:17] so until then if you guys have a good idea fucking hit me up on discord and tell then
[55:17 - 55:25] fuck the trolls fuck marty fuck muscle and fuck gorial fuck anybody that agrees with what they do
[55:25 - 55:31] and fuck the bullies and more importantly fucked suicide