2021-9-18 The Razors edge

[0:54 - 1:07] So, you little wintic bitches, think that you're funny.
[1:07 - 1:14] You think that you're cute.
[1:14 - 1:22] You think that you're badass.
[1:22 - 1:33] By doing the things you do, hiding behind your words,
[1:33 - 1:39] attacking my friends,
[1:39 - 1:43] paying celebrities to attack me,
[1:43 - 1:49] attacking my family,
[1:49 - 1:52] you truthfully think you're badasses.
[1:52 - 2:05] Now, let me tell you right now, you're nothing.
[2:05 - 2:08] And for you celebrities that have attacked me,
[2:08 - 2:14] about you doing what you've done,
[2:14 - 2:16] you're nothing as well.
[2:16 - 2:20] Especially you, Steve Wilkos.
[2:20 - 2:25] Now, don't get me wrong,
[2:25 - 2:27] I do still hold some,
[2:27 - 2:33] a tiny shred of respect for you.
[2:33 - 2:38] But what you did last night being drunk,
[2:38 - 2:43] why should I forgive that?
[2:43 - 2:46] Why should I forgive someone like you
[2:46 - 2:52] who was drunk off his fucking ass?
[2:52 - 3:03] When he said what he said,
[3:03 - 3:08] say right now, Steve,
[3:08 - 3:19] and all you motherfuckers that think they're badass,
[3:19 - 3:23] is because they're drunk motherfuckers like you
[3:23 - 3:25] and people like my old man,
[3:25 - 3:42] why I live this straight age lifestyle.
[3:42 - 3:45] You see, in 2008, when I just entered high school,
[3:45 - 3:51] I met this girl named Cynthia.
[3:51 - 3:53] She was my first high school sweetheart,
[3:53 - 3:56] she was my first girlfriend straight out of high school,
[3:56 - 3:58] while I was going into high school.
[3:58 - 4:04] But being drunk is how she died.
[4:04 - 4:09] Like this man I'm about to show you ladies and gentlemen,
[4:09 - 4:21] he lost somebody and I lost somebody.
[4:21 - 4:28] Cynthia died due to her old man drinking.
[4:28 - 4:32] He was picking her up one day from school
[4:32 - 4:35] and got into a car accident with a school bus.
[4:35 - 4:37] It was a head-on collision.
[4:37 - 4:43] She died and he lived.
[4:43 - 4:49] And he is now currently serving a 30 to life sentence in prison,
[4:49 - 4:52] not only for killing her
[4:52 - 4:59] and people in the passenger seat of the other car,
[4:59 - 5:03] but also on several other charges that he had had prior.
[5:03 - 5:10] And that's something that replays in my fucking mind every day
[5:10 - 5:12] when I see somebody drinking.
[5:12 - 5:18] I don't understand why put yourself through that.
[5:18 - 5:21] Why put yourself through that garbage?
[5:21 - 5:29] Know what you motherfuckers are gonna say?
[5:29 - 5:32] What's her last name? What's her last name?
[5:32 - 5:34] I'm not giving that out.
[5:34 - 5:37] Because I don't want her family attacked
[5:37 - 5:41] the same way you guys attacked my friends and my family.
[5:41 - 5:46] I'm not doing that.
[5:46 - 5:57] If any of you are fans of AEW
[5:57 - 6:01] and don't know who this man is or this man's story,
[6:01 - 6:05] allow me to introduce this man to you.
[6:05 - 6:12] Allow me to introduce his story to you.
[6:12 - 6:15] Because maybe then you guys will see
[6:15 - 6:21] why I walked a straight edge lifestyle just like he does.
[6:21 - 6:38] Allow me to introduce you to the man that's half dead.
[6:38 - 6:46] Allow me to introduce you to the man himself,
[6:46 - 6:49] the one and only Darby Allen.
[6:49 - 6:54] Is this that feeling of how quick life can just change?
[6:54 - 6:58] Is that feeling of how everything can get turned upside down?
[6:58 - 7:01] I was five years old.
[7:01 - 7:06] My uncle came to pick me up.
[7:06 - 7:11] Gonna let me know he was drinking.
[7:11 - 7:18] About a few hours in this road trip,
[7:18 - 7:24] he lost control of the wheel and he died.
[7:24 - 7:30] I'm still here.
[7:30 - 7:38] I paid my face because 50% of me is dead inside.
[7:38 - 7:42] The trust for humans, the respect for humans.
[7:42 - 7:44] It's dead.
[7:44 - 7:47] That's why I paid my face like I do.
[7:47 - 7:51] It's not a gimmick.
[7:51 - 7:53] It's not for ha ha, look at me.
[7:53 - 7:55] I'm a bad mother.
[7:55 - 7:58] It's how I feel.
[7:58 - 8:04] See, I got relentless tattooed on the back of my neck last week.
[8:04 - 8:06] It means never stop.
[8:06 - 8:08] Keep moving forward.
[8:08 - 8:11] You know, I get so severely depressed
[8:11 - 8:14] if I'm not moving something, if I'm not moving.
[8:14 - 8:22] If it's a hunger, it's a want.
[8:22 - 8:25] I want to be better than you were yesterday.
[8:25 - 8:28] Be all that you can be.
[8:28 - 8:32] Don't settle for others' expectations of you.
[8:32 - 8:34] Others' labels of you.
[8:34 - 8:39] Be what you knew you could.
[8:39 - 8:41] I would do these crazy stunts.
[8:41 - 8:45] Sometimes by myself, I would set up a tripod
[8:45 - 8:47] and I'd jump off a huge sculpture.
[8:47 - 8:49] No one was around and I'd break my foot
[8:49 - 8:51] and have to sit on my skateboard
[8:51 - 8:54] and push my way home for five miles.
[8:54 - 8:56] That's just...
[8:56 - 9:01] I felt I wanted an audience to experience my pain.
[9:01 - 9:06] I wanted an audience to see what I would go through
[9:06 - 9:09] and what I'm willing to put myself through.
[9:09 - 9:11] And with skating, I couldn't tell my story
[9:11 - 9:15] in the way I wanted to tell it.
[9:15 - 9:18] The wrestling gave me that outlet.
[9:18 - 9:22] And I never looked.
[9:22 - 9:24] Ever since that car accident,
[9:24 - 9:27] whether I filmed for MTV
[9:27 - 9:29] or I filmed for Tony Hawk,
[9:29 - 9:31] it's just that reckless,
[9:31 - 9:33] I just didn't care.
[9:33 - 9:35] But the moment you get a taste
[9:35 - 9:40] of people accepting your craziness,
[9:40 - 9:44] find a place to sit in.
[9:44 - 9:50] People come up to me and they say,
[9:50 - 9:52] you should really tone it down.
[9:52 - 9:54] Be safe.
[9:54 - 10:01] Unfortunately, I don't know if I have that switch.
[10:01 - 10:04] It doesn't scare me, yes.
[10:04 - 10:06] But it's all I've ever known.
[10:06 - 10:09] I've always felt this relentless hunger
[10:09 - 10:11] to just get the most out of life.
[10:11 - 10:13] Because you never know who it's going to be.
[10:13 - 10:19] The ultimate goal at AEW
[10:19 - 10:23] is to be accepted for me.
[10:23 - 10:27] And that's all I've ever wanted my whole life
[10:27 - 10:29] is just to be accepted for me.
[10:29 - 11:12] How do you guys see?
[11:12 - 11:22] How do you guys see
[11:22 - 11:25] how me and that man are alike?
[11:25 - 11:27] Because just like him,
[11:27 - 11:29] I have fought my demons.
[11:29 - 11:31] I have fought my battles.
[11:31 - 11:33] I have fought against the world.
[11:33 - 11:35] Against people like you
[11:35 - 11:42] that drag me the fuck down.
[11:42 - 11:45] Like him, I've lost people that I love.
[11:45 - 11:48] I've lost people that I care about.
[11:48 - 11:52] And the one thing that still fucking bugs me
[11:52 - 11:59] is why you feel like you have to be internet badasses.
[11:59 - 12:03] When in real life, you know,
[12:03 - 12:07] you know now, deep down inside of you,
[12:07 - 12:10] that you guys that attack me,
[12:10 - 12:12] you attack my friends,
[12:12 - 12:13] and you attack my family,
[12:13 - 12:15] all of you that do that,
[12:15 - 12:18] you know that deep down inside,
[12:18 - 12:22] you're nothing more than a bunch of limp dick one of these
[12:22 - 12:25] hiding behind a fucking screen.
[12:25 - 12:28] Because you're too fucking scared
[12:28 - 12:31] to face me in the real fucking world.
[12:31 - 12:33] You're too fucking afraid
[12:33 - 12:36] of what other people will think of you
[12:36 - 12:38] if you actually step out and say,
[12:38 - 12:40] hey, I actually enjoy this man.
[12:40 - 12:43] He actually is doing something.
[12:43 - 12:46] He's actually leaving his fucking mark.
[12:46 - 13:00] Most of you are afraid
[13:00 - 13:03] of your own fucking demons.
[13:03 - 13:06] So you lash out at others like myself
[13:06 - 13:09] all because you're too fucking afraid
[13:09 - 13:13] to face your own goddamn demons.
[13:13 - 13:15] Well, let me tell you,
[13:15 - 13:17] I've been facing my own goddamn demons
[13:17 - 13:20] since the day I was born.
[13:20 - 13:22] Since the day I was born,
[13:22 - 13:25] I have had to face my demons
[13:25 - 13:29] over and over and over again.
[13:29 - 13:33] Constant battle, day in and day out.
[13:33 - 13:35] Since the day I was born,
[13:35 - 13:37] I have fought.
[13:37 - 13:39] Since the day I was born,
[13:39 - 13:42] I was judged by people like you.
[13:42 - 13:46] I was attacked by people like you,
[13:46 - 13:48] my whole fucking life.
[13:48 - 13:53] Because of pieces of shit,
[13:53 - 13:55] motherfuckers like you,
[13:55 - 13:57] that want to judge people
[13:57 - 13:59] for no fucking reason,
[13:59 - 14:01] except for the fact that you can't accept
[14:01 - 14:04] your own demons.
[14:04 - 14:07] Because of motherfuckers like you,
[14:07 - 14:09] I've lost people
[14:09 - 14:12] that I've cared about.
[14:12 - 14:14] People that I've loved.
[14:14 - 14:21] First, my first high school
[14:21 - 14:24] sweetheart Cynthia.
[14:24 - 14:26] Then later on down the road,
[14:26 - 14:32] my soon to be
[14:32 - 14:34] four to five year high school
[14:34 - 14:38] sweetheart Christina.
[14:38 - 14:40] And then soon after,
[14:40 - 14:42] over and over again,
[14:42 - 14:44] constantly losing people
[14:44 - 14:46] that actually cared about me.
[14:46 - 14:49] You know, everybody asks
[14:49 - 14:51] why I don't have a girlfriend,
[14:51 - 14:53] why I'm not with anyone,
[14:53 - 14:55] why I'm always depressed,
[14:55 - 14:57] why I'm always angry.
[14:57 - 15:00] You guys are the reason why.
[15:00 - 15:05] You think I wanted to be this monster?
[15:05 - 15:07] You think I asked
[15:07 - 15:09] for any of this?
[15:09 - 15:11] No.
[15:11 - 15:13] I never asked
[15:13 - 15:15] to be turned into the monster
[15:15 - 15:17] that you made me into.
[15:17 - 15:22] You know, it's funny.
[15:22 - 15:25] Responsibility is a real funny thing.
[15:25 - 15:31] Responsibility is a very funny thing.
[15:31 - 15:34] Because half you limp dick motherfuckers,
[15:34 - 15:36] don't take responsibility
[15:36 - 15:38] for your own actions.
[15:38 - 15:43] Why do you think it's so hard
[15:43 - 15:46] for me to trust other human beings?
[15:46 - 15:51] Yes, there are very select few
[15:51 - 15:53] that I do trust,
[15:53 - 15:55] like Courtney and Saren.
[15:55 - 15:57] And those that have become close to me
[15:57 - 15:59] over the years,
[15:59 - 16:01] who know how I really am.
[16:01 - 16:03] People like my good friend, Clint,
[16:03 - 16:05] who know how I really am.
[16:05 - 16:10] But you fucking trolls
[16:10 - 16:12] and you people that do this shit,
[16:12 - 16:14] you guys are the reason
[16:14 - 16:16] why I have a very hard time
[16:16 - 16:18] trusting people.
[16:18 - 16:20] You guys are the reason
[16:20 - 16:22] why I'm not with anyone.
[16:22 - 16:24] Because you feel
[16:24 - 16:26] because of your own insecurities
[16:26 - 16:28] you have the right
[16:28 - 16:30] to pass judgment
[16:30 - 16:36] onto other people.
[16:36 - 16:38] When really you should be looking inside
[16:38 - 16:40] yourselves and judging
[16:40 - 16:42] yourselves.
[16:42 - 16:44] But instead
[16:44 - 16:46] you're so fucking scared
[16:46 - 16:48] to face
[16:48 - 16:50] your own goddamn demons
[16:50 - 16:52] that you reflect
[16:52 - 16:54] what you're dealing with
[16:54 - 16:56] onto other people like me
[16:56 - 16:58] because you can't handle
[16:58 - 17:00] manning up
[17:00 - 17:02] and owning your demons.
[17:02 - 17:05] None of you
[17:05 - 17:07] have the fucking balls
[17:07 - 17:09] to face your own goddamn demons.
[17:09 - 17:11] So you project
[17:11 - 17:13] and you reflect
[17:13 - 17:15] onto other people like myself
[17:15 - 17:17] who are a little bit different,
[17:17 - 17:19] who are willing to do things
[17:19 - 17:21] outside of the norm
[17:21 - 17:23] for acceptance.
[17:23 - 17:28] See
[17:28 - 17:30] the reason I started doing music
[17:30 - 17:35] the reason I picked up
[17:35 - 17:37] that guitar, the reason I picked up
[17:37 - 17:39] that microphone and that keyboard
[17:39 - 17:41] the reason
[17:41 - 17:45] why I do what I do
[17:45 - 17:50] with my music
[17:50 - 17:52] is not a way
[17:52 - 17:55] for acceptance.
[17:55 - 17:57] The reason I started it
[17:57 - 17:59] is to get people to understand
[17:59 - 18:01] what it is
[18:01 - 18:03] that they fucking plug me through
[18:03 - 18:05] day in and day out
[18:05 - 18:08] to tell my story
[18:08 - 18:10] of everything that I
[18:10 - 18:12] have been through
[18:12 - 18:15] the hell
[18:15 - 18:17] and the darkness
[18:17 - 18:19] that I have dealt with
[18:19 - 18:27] my whole fucking life
[18:27 - 18:29] my whole life I have dealt with
[18:29 - 18:31] darkness I have dealt with
[18:31 - 18:34] evil
[18:34 - 18:36] my whole life I have dealt
[18:36 - 18:38] with being judged
[18:38 - 18:41] with being attacked
[18:41 - 18:45] with living life
[18:45 - 18:47] and let me tell you
[18:47 - 18:49] when I'm behind that mic
[18:49 - 18:51] and I'm behind that guitar
[18:51 - 18:53] and I'm fucking shredding
[18:53 - 18:55] for those like myself
[18:55 - 18:57] and giving those people like myself
[18:57 - 18:59] a glimmer of hope
[18:59 - 19:03] that's all that fucking matters to me.
[19:03 - 19:05] See
[19:05 - 19:07] you guys seem to think that money is everything
[19:07 - 19:09] that money rules the fucking world
[19:09 - 19:11] you guys think that
[19:11 - 19:13] you guys run
[19:13 - 19:15] out of the internet but that's not true
[19:15 - 19:18] that's far from the fucking truth
[19:18 - 19:23] money doesn't
[19:23 - 19:25] rule the world
[19:25 - 19:30] sure it buys you nice things
[19:30 - 19:34] but my question to you
[19:34 - 19:36] is this
[19:36 - 19:38] how long before that new
[19:38 - 19:40] thing that you buy gets old
[19:40 - 19:44] maybe a week
[19:44 - 19:46] maybe a month
[19:46 - 19:48] maybe a year
[19:48 - 19:57] the question is this
[19:57 - 19:59] why
[19:59 - 20:01] worry about physical
[20:01 - 20:03] things when
[20:03 - 20:05] you die you can never
[20:05 - 20:07] take those physical
[20:07 - 20:09] things to the grave
[20:09 - 20:11] with you
[20:11 - 20:13] you can't take money to the grave
[20:13 - 20:16] you can't take anything
[20:16 - 20:18] to the grave with you when you die
[20:18 - 20:22] when you die
[20:22 - 20:24] nothing's going with you
[20:24 - 20:26] you're leaving this world the same way
[20:26 - 20:28] you came into this world
[20:28 - 20:41] with nothing
[20:41 - 20:43] I came into this world with nothing
[20:43 - 20:45] when I die
[20:45 - 20:47] I know I'm leaving here with nothing
[20:47 - 20:55] the only thing
[20:55 - 20:57] I am leaving this earth with
[20:57 - 20:59] the day that I die
[20:59 - 21:01] is the fact that I know
[21:01 - 21:03] that I made a fucking
[21:03 - 21:05] change in this fucking world
[21:05 - 21:07] against evil
[21:07 - 21:09] pissed off
[21:09 - 21:11] bitch ass people
[21:11 - 21:13] who want to judge others
[21:13 - 21:15] for no reason but to reflect
[21:15 - 21:17] in securities onto others
[21:17 - 21:20] you can sit there
[21:20 - 21:22] and you can judge me all you want
[21:22 - 21:24] you can say that I'm this
[21:24 - 21:27] and say that I'm not
[21:27 - 21:33] but at the end of the day
[21:33 - 21:35] I'm just another guy telling
[21:35 - 21:37] his story to help
[21:37 - 21:39] people like myself
[21:39 - 21:45] I'm just another guy
[21:45 - 21:47] trying to leave his mark on the world
[21:47 - 21:49] to not be forgotten
[21:49 - 21:51] because when I die
[21:51 - 21:54] when I fucking die
[21:54 - 21:59] I want people to look back
[21:59 - 22:01] on my life
[22:01 - 22:03] and be able to use it
[22:03 - 22:05] and learn from it
[22:05 - 22:07] I want people to be able to say hey
[22:07 - 22:09] this guy did something great
[22:09 - 22:11] this guy changed the lives
[22:11 - 22:13] this guy helped people
[22:13 - 22:15] and he didn't do it for the money
[22:15 - 22:17] he did it because what
[22:17 - 22:34] he does
[22:34 - 22:36] see I know what it's like
[22:36 - 22:38] to be in the dark my whole life
[22:38 - 22:40] because my whole life I have been
[22:40 - 22:42] dark
[22:42 - 22:44] my whole life I have never been
[22:44 - 22:46] accepted by society
[22:46 - 22:48] because of how I look
[22:48 - 22:50] and because I don't follow
[22:50 - 22:52] by society's laws
[22:52 - 22:57] I don't follow society
[22:57 - 22:59] I'm an outcast
[22:59 - 23:01] of society
[23:01 - 23:04] I don't follow
[23:04 - 23:06] the same rules that you follow
[23:06 - 23:17] because I know my purpose
[23:17 - 23:19] and my purpose
[23:19 - 23:21] is to serve the light
[23:21 - 23:23] for the darkness
[23:23 - 23:31] and which I was cast
[23:31 - 23:33] my job is to help others
[23:33 - 23:38] like myself
[23:38 - 23:40] utilizing the darkness
[23:40 - 23:42] that I was cast into
[23:42 - 23:44] and showing them my
[23:44 - 23:46] very real story
[23:46 - 23:48] in hopes that it inspires them
[23:48 - 23:50] to be just that much fucking better
[23:50 - 23:52] than they were the day before
[23:52 - 23:54] and if I could help someone
[23:54 - 23:56] get out of a bad relationship
[23:56 - 23:58] get out of abuse
[24:00 - 24:02] if I could help somebody
[24:02 - 24:05] get off drugs
[24:05 - 24:07] quit drinking
[24:07 - 24:09] help them get their life together
[24:09 - 24:13] that I'll fucking do it
[24:13 - 24:15] because that's the kind of person that I am
[24:15 - 24:17] and if you don't like it that's too fucking bad
[24:17 - 24:21] but I'm also here
[24:21 - 24:23] to tell you right now
[24:23 - 24:25] you motherfuckers and
[24:25 - 24:27] Tate, Steve Wilcox
[24:27 - 24:29] to make that video on me and my friends
[24:29 - 24:31] you made one very
[24:31 - 24:33] severe mistake
[24:33 - 24:35] in thinking that I would not stick up
[24:35 - 24:38] for them
[24:38 - 24:40] those people that you attacked
[24:40 - 24:42] were my friends
[24:42 - 24:45] people that I know personally
[24:45 - 24:47] and that I care about
[24:47 - 24:49] that have stuck up for me
[24:49 - 24:51] the same way I have stuck up for them
[24:51 - 24:56] so you think
[24:56 - 24:58] you know darkness
[24:58 - 25:00] you think you know loss
[25:00 - 25:02] you think
[25:02 - 25:04] you know pain and suffering
[25:04 - 25:06] but you don't know any of that
[25:06 - 25:08] unless you've been in the shoes
[25:08 - 25:10] of myself
[25:10 - 25:12] of my friends
[25:12 - 25:14] of people like Darby Allen
[25:14 - 25:21] unless you've been in the shoes
[25:21 - 25:23] of those that have been
[25:23 - 25:25] overseas and lost
[25:25 - 25:27] loved ones
[25:27 - 25:31] unless you've been in the shoes
[25:31 - 25:33] of a military family member
[25:33 - 25:35] who lost a loved one overseas
[25:35 - 25:37] who fought the good fight
[25:37 - 25:44] then what do you know
[25:44 - 25:50] about pain
[25:50 - 25:52] you claim that you know pain
[25:52 - 26:07] but you don't know anything
[26:07 - 26:09] you claim to know
[26:09 - 26:11] suffering
[26:11 - 26:13] you claim to know what it's like
[26:13 - 26:16] but let me tell you right now
[26:16 - 26:18] you don't know anything
[26:18 - 26:22] would I like
[26:22 - 26:24] to have that special someone in my life
[26:24 - 26:26] that I can turn to
[26:26 - 26:28] that I can be with
[26:28 - 26:30] who will accept me for who I am
[26:30 - 26:32] and not leave my side
[26:32 - 26:34] because of what you people do
[26:34 - 26:36] absolutely
[26:36 - 26:38] I truly would
[26:38 - 26:42] for the past year and a half
[26:42 - 26:44] because of you guys
[26:44 - 26:47] that like to attack me
[26:47 - 26:49] I've lost people that I've loved
[26:49 - 26:51] that I've cared about
[26:51 - 26:54] I've lost my best friend
[26:54 - 26:56] I lost my job
[26:56 - 26:59] I lost my girlfriend
[26:59 - 27:01] Kaitlyn
[27:01 - 27:08] people who actually
[27:08 - 27:10] cared about me
[27:10 - 27:12] that you guys turned against me
[27:12 - 27:17] I don't claim to be perfect
[27:17 - 27:20] I really don't
[27:20 - 27:24] I don't claim to be perfect
[27:24 - 27:28] I know I've
[27:28 - 27:30] made mistakes in my life
[27:30 - 27:34] and I get that
[27:34 - 27:36] I know that I've made mistakes
[27:36 - 27:38] in my life
[27:38 - 27:40] that are very severe
[27:40 - 28:00] that I have wrote the wrongs for
[28:00 - 28:03] but at the end of the day
[28:03 - 28:05] what right does that give you
[28:05 - 28:07] to pass judgment
[28:07 - 28:10] on me
[28:10 - 28:12] transgressions
[28:12 - 28:16] when you do just as bad
[28:16 - 28:18] sometimes even worse
[28:18 - 28:24] all of you sitting in the comments
[28:24 - 28:27] laughing right now
[28:27 - 28:29] and making smart ass remarks
[28:29 - 28:31] that just shows
[28:31 - 28:33] how insecure you really are
[28:33 - 28:45] with your lives
[28:45 - 28:47] you laugh at what you don't
[28:47 - 28:51] understand
[28:51 - 28:53] you poke fun at what
[28:53 - 28:55] you don't understand
[28:55 - 28:57] and could never
[28:57 - 29:02] understand
[29:02 - 29:04] unless you've been in my shoes
[29:04 - 29:06] and gone through all the things
[29:06 - 29:09] that I've gone through
[29:09 - 29:11] or gone through things like my friends
[29:11 - 29:13] have gone through
[29:13 - 29:16] or have gone through things
[29:16 - 29:18] like people
[29:18 - 29:20] like Darby Allen have gone through
[29:20 - 29:22] that what right do you have
[29:22 - 29:28] to pass judgment
[29:28 - 29:30] what right do you have
[29:30 - 29:36] to pass judgment
[29:36 - 29:38] when really you should be judging
[29:38 - 29:46] yourselves
[29:46 - 29:49] because as I said
[29:49 - 29:54] one day we all die
[29:54 - 29:56] we all die one day
[29:56 - 29:59] and when you leave this earth
[29:59 - 30:01] when you leave this earth
[30:01 - 30:03] you're going to leave here
[30:03 - 30:05] the exact same way that you came into this world
[30:05 - 30:13] with nothing
[30:13 - 30:15] that when I die
[30:15 - 30:17] I may not end up going to heaven
[30:17 - 30:22] because of all the wrong things that I've done
[30:22 - 30:33] but if I don't go to heaven
[30:33 - 30:35] I would rather walk this earth
[30:35 - 30:37] as a fallen angel
[30:37 - 30:39] to help people
[30:39 - 30:41] like myself because I am
[30:41 - 30:43] a fallen soul
[30:43 - 30:45] myself
[30:45 - 30:47] and I'm okay with that
[30:47 - 30:51] because I know
[30:51 - 30:54] at the end of the day
[30:54 - 30:56] as long as I can help someone
[30:56 - 30:58] that I'm doing my fucking job
[30:58 - 31:01] and if you don't like that
[31:01 - 31:03] then that's too fucking bad
[31:03 - 31:06] when I step up to that like
[31:06 - 31:33] I would rather walk this earth
[31:33 - 31:35] and I step up to that like
[31:35 - 31:37] or I strap up
[31:37 - 31:39] that goddamn guitar
[31:39 - 31:42] which I will be doing here in a minute
[31:44 - 31:46] when I strap that shit up
[31:46 - 31:53] I know
[31:53 - 31:58] I'm making a difference
[31:58 - 32:00] I know that I'm making a difference
[32:00 - 32:02] in someone's life
[32:02 - 32:04] because I have the balls
[32:04 - 32:06] to step up
[32:06 - 32:08] and do
[32:08 - 32:10] when all of you
[32:10 - 32:12] have the balls to fucking do
[32:12 - 32:23] I'm not gonna say here
[32:23 - 32:25] and pretend to like I'm perfect
[32:25 - 32:27] because no one in this world
[32:27 - 32:29] is perfect
[32:29 - 32:31] not me
[32:31 - 32:33] not any of you
[32:33 - 32:35] no one in this world is perfect
[32:35 - 32:42] but I will continue
[32:42 - 32:44] to fight
[32:44 - 32:46] they could fight
[32:46 - 32:48] against those
[32:48 - 32:50] that judge
[32:50 - 32:52] people like you in the comments
[32:52 - 32:54] people like you guys in the comments
[32:54 - 32:56] that like to attack people
[32:56 - 33:00] that like to outcast
[33:00 - 33:02] people like myself
[33:02 - 33:13] and to those that do get judged
[33:13 - 33:15] like myself
[33:15 - 33:19] I want you to know
[33:19 - 33:25] I want all of you to know
[33:25 - 33:27] that you have someone here
[33:27 - 33:29] that actually cares
[33:29 - 33:31] that knows what it's like to be an outcast
[33:31 - 33:33] like you
[33:33 - 33:35] and to be honest
[33:35 - 33:37] I'm proud to be an outcast
[33:37 - 33:39] because I would rather be an outcast
[33:39 - 33:41] than to be a bully
[33:41 - 33:49] I would rather be an outcast
[33:49 - 33:51] than to be a bully
[33:51 - 33:53] like you guys
[33:53 - 33:55] that love to judge people
[33:55 - 33:58] I don't do what I do for you guys
[33:58 - 34:00] I do it for the weirdos
[34:00 - 34:02] and the people like me
[34:02 - 34:04] that you outcast
[34:04 - 34:11] every fucking day
[34:11 - 34:13] I'd rather be different
[34:13 - 34:15] and be a freak
[34:15 - 34:17] than to be someone like you
[34:17 - 34:19] and be a normal member of society
[34:21 - 34:23] I like being an outcast
[34:23 - 34:29] I love being an outcast
[34:29 - 34:31] because it gives me a chance to be myself
[34:31 - 36:31] it's for all of my outcasts
[36:31 - 36:33] like myself
[36:33 - 36:35] and for those that have been attacked
[36:35 - 36:37] and have been bullied
[36:37 - 36:39] I want you guys to know
[36:39 - 36:41] that I love you guys
[37:58 - 38:35] you
[38:35 - 38:39] you
[38:39 - 38:41] you
[38:41 - 38:43] you
[38:43 - 38:45] you
[38:45 - 49:26] you
[49:26 - 49:30] you
[49:30 - 49:34] you
[49:34 - 58:41] you
[58:41 - 58:43] see this guy right here
[58:43 - 58:47] smooth guy
[58:47 - 58:49] and it's people like you
[58:49 - 58:51] that are insecure as fuck
[58:51 - 58:59] As a prime example of insecurity, and to the guy that put my number out there, I'm gonna
[58:59 - 59:00] shit.
[59:00 - 59:05] My number's been out there for a while now.
[59:05 - 59:08] Really affecting it, like you think it does.
[59:08 - 59:12] It really and truly does not affect me like you think.
[59:12 - 59:13] So what?
[59:13 - 59:14] You put my fucking number out there.
[59:14 - 59:15] What do you want?
[59:15 - 59:16] A fucking cookie?
[59:16 - 59:17] You want a fucking bag of Cheetos?
[59:17 - 59:18] Like options?
[59:18 - 59:27] When you say like?
[59:27 - 59:34] You know what I mean, the thing is people like Geico because it's just easy.
[59:34 - 59:36] I mean, for example, you've got cars.
[69:46 - 72:58] You guys, that's not the real Jenny, I'm not dumb.
[72:58 - 74:54] Introduce it to Smirnoff Pink Lemonade.
[74:54 - 75:00] We have fresh berries with ultra-spirno, but it's the pink you've been waiting for.
[75:00 - 75:37] Get your pink off with the new Smirnoff Pink Lemonade.
[76:52 - 80:22] That's fine, you know.
[80:22 - 80:23] It means experience.
[80:23 - 80:29] If I told you I'd been jarring the Raspberry Preserves for 85 years, it'd be like that
[80:29 - 80:31] has got to be some scrumptious jam.
[80:31 - 80:32] Geico!
[89:21 - 89:23] This final song, guys.
[89:23 - 89:33] I do hope that this shows you that if you are on the edge and dealing with something,
[89:36 - 89:45] I hope you know that me and my friends of this community will help you to fight whatever
[89:45 - 89:49] it is that you're going through.
[89:49 - 89:55] And I do genuinely hope that you know that you're not alone.
[89:55 - 90:06] Because like I stated in the very beginning, I know what it's like to feel pain, to feel
[90:06 - 96:25] suffering, and I know what it's like to feel alone.
[96:25 - 96:31] And I do hope that this helps you guys somewhere.
[96:31 - 96:44] If it did, I'm glad, you know.
[96:44 - 97:03] Because like I said at the very beginning of the stream, I just want to help those that
[97:03 - 97:04] are like myself.
[97:04 - 97:12] And like I said, would I like to find someone and be happy again?
[97:12 - 97:13] Absolutely.
[97:13 - 97:20] I would love to find someone that would stay with me no matter what.
[97:20 - 97:28] And understands, you know, what it's like to be where I've been at.
[97:28 - 97:36] But most importantly, I hope that you chose finding in yourselves to change your ways.
[97:36 - 97:44] I hope you chose finding within yourselves to change what you guys are doing.
[97:44 - 97:50] And actually see who I really am.
[97:50 - 97:56] And not judge me by who I am on the outside or how I look.
[97:56 - 98:04] But by what I'm trying to do and what others like myself see on the inside.
[98:04 - 98:15] And for those that are like myself, I hope that my very real story helped you guys
[98:15 - 98:17] in some way or another.
[98:17 - 98:24] And I do hope that I gave you guys some sort of hope to actually do better with
[98:24 - 98:25] your life.
[98:25 - 98:30] And, you know, keep fighting through whatever troubles and whatever problems
[98:30 - 98:31] you're going through.
[98:31 - 98:38] And I hope you guys know that while you're fighting these battles then,
[98:38 - 98:40] you're not alone.
[98:40 - 98:46] You got an entire community of people here including myself and these wonderful
[98:46 - 98:57] people like Tessa and Bron here that, you know, are always here for you guys.
[98:57 - 99:14] I hope you guys do continue to fight through whatever problem you're going
[99:14 - 99:15] through.
[99:15 - 99:19] I hope you guys do continue to fight.
[99:19 - 99:25] And I hope that my story helps you guys and inspires you guys to keep fighting.
[99:25 - 99:31] Because like you, I'm fighting a lot of the same battles that you're fighting.
[99:31 - 99:35] I'm fighting minor demons just like you are.
[99:35 - 99:44] I'm going through, you know, finally being able to get over being abused for
[99:44 - 99:46] many years by my exes.
[99:46 - 99:53] Like I'm just now getting my mindset back and wanting to be treated right by
[99:53 - 100:01] someone.
[100:01 - 100:10] Like I said, if, you know, my music or my art are doing YouTube,
[100:10 - 100:13] whether those bring me money or not.
[100:13 - 100:16] That's cool if they do bring me money.
[100:16 - 100:20] If they do provide an income, that's cool.
[100:20 - 100:27] But ultimately, I just want to help people and that's, to me, that's most
[100:27 - 100:29] important.
[100:29 - 100:35] I would rather be broke and help you guys knowing that I'm doing some sort
[100:35 - 100:43] of good rather than sit there and get paid and throw my life away and blow
[100:43 - 100:44] it out.
[100:44 - 100:48] Because to me, a human life is priceless.
[100:48 - 100:50] You can't put a price on a life.
[100:50 - 101:06] I hope that a lot of you trolls that have been judging me do stop judging
[101:06 - 101:09] me and stop judging others like me.
[101:09 - 101:13] You know, stop attacking my friends.
[101:13 - 101:15] Stop attacking my family.
[101:15 - 101:20] Stop attacking others that are like me.
[101:20 - 101:26] Because we only have such a short amount of time on this earth.
[101:26 - 101:30] We have such a short amount of time on this earth.
[101:30 - 101:37] You know, I'm going to leave you guys with this.
[101:37 - 101:54] Would you rather a negative legacy where you attack people, you judge
[101:54 - 101:58] people, you pull people under?
[101:58 - 102:03] Or would you rather live a life and be able to die and look back
[102:03 - 102:09] on your life and say, hey, I actually helped someone.
[102:09 - 102:11] I actually did some good.
[102:11 - 102:20] I don't know what you, but when I die, whether I go to heaven,
[102:20 - 102:28] whether I go to hell, whether I'm stuck on earth, I want to be
[102:28 - 102:32] able to look back on my life and say, hey, I did something with
[102:32 - 102:33] my life.
[102:33 - 102:35] I helped somebody.
[102:35 - 102:37] I helped to change someone's life.
[102:37 - 102:43] I helped someone through my story and I helped to better that
[102:43 - 102:48] person or I helped them to get clean because like I said,
[102:48 - 102:50] I'm not perfect.
[102:50 - 102:52] No one's perfect.
[102:52 - 103:00] And yes, I may serve the dark.
[103:00 - 103:02] I may serve the light through the dark.
[103:02 - 103:04] That may be true.
[103:04 - 103:08] I may have been thrown down a very dark coal.
[103:08 - 103:14] I may have been thrown down in a place that I'm still trying
[103:14 - 103:19] to climb out of, but it's like I always tell you guys
[103:19 - 103:24] that support me and even if you don't support me, that's fine.
[103:24 - 103:27] But this is something that I will always stand by.
[103:27 - 103:36] And this is something that I will always, always stand by.
[103:36 - 103:41] I need all of you to be okay because you guys being okay
[103:41 - 103:44] helps me to be okay.
[103:44 - 103:51] Seeing you guys fight your battles and overcome your
[103:51 - 103:54] battles helps me to fight my battles.
[103:54 - 103:56] You see how that works?
[103:56 - 104:07] You're going to have to go, dude, because I know CIA,
[104:07 - 104:09] you're a bit of a troll, man.
[104:09 - 104:13] I know how you are, so see you, CIA.
[104:13 - 104:21] Because like I said, at the end of the day, yes,
[104:21 - 104:25] would I like to make a living off of my dark artwork
[104:25 - 104:32] and off of my music and stuff like that?
[104:32 - 104:34] Absolutely.
[104:34 - 104:37] Because you know, at the end of the day, you know,
[104:37 - 104:39] I do need to make a living and that's something
[104:39 - 104:42] I would greatly enjoy.
[104:42 - 104:50] But what's most important to me isn't money,
[104:50 - 104:52] but helping others like myself.
[104:52 - 104:56] That's what's most important to me.
[104:56 - 104:59] Money will come and go, okay?
[104:59 - 105:02] I know eventually somewhere down the line,
[105:02 - 105:05] I will make money doing what I love.
[105:05 - 105:10] Whether it's a week from now, a year, a month,
[105:10 - 105:13] I know eventually I'll get somewhere.
[105:13 - 105:26] My main goal is to build a community to help people
[105:26 - 105:30] and to find a way that I can make a living
[105:30 - 105:34] doing what I love, helping people and inspiring people.
[105:34 - 105:36] That's my main goal.
[105:36 - 105:40] Is to be able to make a living doing what I love
[105:40 - 105:45] and knowing that I'm actually helping someone
[105:45 - 105:53] and that they're actually trying to better themselves.
[105:53 - 106:03] Because as I said, I know what it's like to walk the razor's edge, essentially.
[106:03 - 106:13] I know what it's like to be in that position.
[106:13 - 106:20] I know what it's like to walk the lines of life and death.
[106:20 - 106:25] Because I walk that line every day of my life.
[106:25 - 106:29] And if I can inspire someone and help them through something,
[106:29 - 106:34] whether that be sitting down and just talking with them
[106:34 - 106:40] or being an ear for them or whatever that may be,
[106:40 - 106:43] you know, I'm going to do that.
[106:43 - 106:48] Regardless of what the haters think,
[106:48 - 106:51] if you want to be a hater, that's fine.
[106:51 - 106:59] Because you judging me the way that you guys do
[106:59 - 107:02] just means that you just don't, obviously,
[107:02 - 107:10] have the brain power to comprehend what I'm doing.
[107:10 - 107:37] I've seen what's going on.
[107:37 - 107:54] Oh, you're right there.
[107:54 - 108:14] Alright, you're right there.
[108:14 - 108:17] Like I said, at the end of the day, guys,
[108:17 - 108:19] Tess knows how I am.
[108:19 - 108:23] Matter of fact, Tess actually knows me in real life.
[108:23 - 108:25] She knows me outside of this.
[108:25 - 108:27] She's seen what I've gone through.
[108:27 - 108:32] And she's right about one thing.
[108:32 - 108:34] She's right about one thing that is very true.
[108:34 - 108:38] And that is the fact that I do need to find somebody like myself
[108:38 - 108:44] that won't judge me, that won't, you know, walk away from me
[108:44 - 108:46] no matter what people say.
[108:46 - 108:49] And that's something I would like to have in my life again.
[108:49 - 108:55] And that's something that I do want to work towards.
[108:55 - 108:59] But I also feel like, guys, I do hope that I helped you guys.
[108:59 - 109:01] I love you guys.
[109:01 - 109:03] You guys are awesome.
[109:03 - 109:05] I love every single one of you guys.
[109:05 - 109:11] Haters, fans, mods, love all you guys.
[109:11 - 109:13] I'll catch you guys later, man.
[109:13 - 109:15] Be safe, guys.
[109:15 - 109:17] Peace.