2021-9-16 LET ME MOVE ON

[0:09 - 0:16] I'm gonna fucking speak on something and to axle I still am gonna work with you to try to get better
[0:16 - 0:21] But I am gonna fucking say this to crypt k and to everyone
[0:23 - 0:27] All right, I apologize for everything. I've done wrong crypt
[0:27 - 0:34] I apologize for coming after you and your family. I apologize for what I fucking did. Okay
[0:34 - 0:36] I own up to that shit
[0:36 - 0:41] And to everybody that fucking see me. I'm sorry for the shit that went down with Kate
[0:42 - 0:45] I'm not blaming anyone else. I'm really not
[0:46 - 0:47] All right
[0:47 - 0:50] I'm not blaming no motherfucking body else
[0:52 - 0:54] I made the mistake. I admit that
[0:56 - 1:02] The crypt you bringing up my fucking past doesn't help me to be a better person, dude
[1:03 - 1:06] That don't fucking help me to be a better fucking person
[1:08 - 1:12] You coming up here bringing up my past don't help shit
[1:13 - 1:16] It really does not fucking help
[1:19 - 1:22] But the thing is this but the thing is that there is no thing bro
[1:23 - 1:29] I'm trying to be a better fucking person. Okay. I'm trying to do better
[1:30 - 1:32] I'm trying to be better
[1:32 - 1:37] But how does you doing that shit help any it really does not fucking help
[1:38 - 1:39] You know
[1:39 - 1:45] Actors, right? I do need to be a better person and I want to be a better person
[1:47 - 1:50] All right, I'm sorry for the shit that went down
[1:51 - 1:53] I'm sorry for what I fucking did
[1:57 - 1:59] I am truly sorry for all of that
[2:06 - 2:08] But what I'm trying to understand is this
[2:16 - 2:19] What I'm trying to understand is this
[2:21 - 2:25] Why do you guys feel like you have to do me like that?
[2:26 - 2:28] Why do you feel like you got to do me dirty like that?
[2:29 - 2:32] Why do you feel like you have to do this shit to me bro?
[2:36 - 2:38] and to all my fans
[2:39 - 2:44] That do support me. I do apologize for a line to you like I did
[2:46 - 2:49] But the reason I did is because I knew
[2:50 - 2:55] Then if I didn't come up with a reason to fucking get off
[2:55 - 2:59] I knew the trolls would come after me and I'm sorry about that
[3:00 - 3:04] I'm sorry about me doing that, but I had no fucking choice
[3:05 - 3:12] I had no mother fucking choice, but to do what I fucking did
[3:14 - 3:16] Because I knew if I said that I was taking a break
[3:17 - 3:22] They were either gonna attack me my friends or my family and my family
[3:22 - 3:26] Is going through enough already. They don't need anymore, bro
[3:27 - 3:29] They don't need any more shit
[3:31 - 3:35] All right, I apologize for what I did
[3:37 - 3:40] The mistakes I made the shit I did wrong. I'm sorry about that
[3:42 - 3:46] But dude, you guys got to give me that chance to move on and be better
[3:48 - 3:53] If I can't if we can't move past this and move on from this
[3:55 - 3:57] How am I supposed to be a better person?
[3:58 - 4:03] If y'all can't let the past go, how am I supposed to be a better person?
[4:05 - 4:13] I don't understand it. I want to be successful. I want to be a better person
[4:14 - 4:20] But how can I do that if y'all keep from my past and attacking me over it?
[4:20 - 4:32] It don't make no sense, bro. Like I'm trying to do me
[4:32 - 4:35] I'm trying to be a better fucking person, bro
[4:37 - 4:40] I am truthfully trying to be a better person
[4:40 - 4:44] Because like Axl said me and him fucking spoke
[4:45 - 4:47] Me and Axl spoke
[4:48 - 4:52] And let me tell you he's right. I need to be a better person
[4:52 - 4:56] And I am genuinely sorry for the shit that I fucking did
[4:57 - 5:00] I get what I did was fucked up
[5:00 - 5:03] All right, and Chris K
[5:04 - 5:09] Yes, you do use me to promote your music. Your channel says it all
[5:09 - 5:19] You always tell people right when you attack me. Oh, check out my music. Oh, this guy's this and that
[5:20 - 5:27] But oh, check out my music. You use me to promote your music. And I'm tired of being a fucking doormat
[5:28 - 5:34] I'm tired of being a motherfucking doormat, bro. I want to better myself
[5:39 - 5:42] I really do. I want to be better. I want to do better
[5:42 - 5:44] I want to be better. I want to do better
[5:45 - 5:49] But how am I supposed to do better if I'm constantly being held back?
[5:54 - 5:58] And to Axl, I do thank you for speaking with me, man
[6:00 - 6:03] I do thank you for speaking with me, bro
[6:04 - 6:07] I appreciate the hell out of that, man
[6:07 - 6:09] I really do. I appreciate that
[6:11 - 6:14] And you're right. I do need to be better
[6:15 - 6:21] I really do
[6:21 - 6:23] And I want to be better
[6:23 - 6:32] So fucking bad. I do genuinely want to be better. So fucking bad
[6:33 - 6:35] But how am I going to get better
[6:36 - 6:47] If the trolls keep bringing up my past and attacking me over it? I don't understand
[6:48 - 6:50] I genuinely do not
[6:51 - 7:01] understand
[7:01 - 7:03] For all those that do support me
[7:04 - 7:09] For every one of you guys that does support me. This is a question for you guys
[7:10 - 7:13] For all those that genuinely do support me
[7:13 - 7:21] How many of you guys want to see me get better? How many of you guys truly want to see me be successful?
[7:22 - 7:26] Be honest. How many of you in the comments want to see me get better?
[7:27 - 7:29] And do better with my life
[7:51 - 7:53] Because I genuinely want to be better
[7:54 - 7:56] I want to be a better person
[7:57 - 8:24] And let me tell you I don't care what you guys think of me
[8:31 - 8:33] All I'm gonna say is this
[8:34 - 8:36] To my real supporters
[8:38 - 8:40] To those that truly do support me
[8:43 - 8:47] I promise you guys because I am gonna be taking a break for the next few months
[8:49 - 8:52] But I can promise you guys when I come back. I am gonna be better
[8:53 - 8:57] Because I want to do better. I want to be a better fucking person
[8:58 - 9:00] I don't want to be held back no more
[9:02 - 9:05] I need to get my fucking shit together
[9:07 - 9:10] All right. I need to get my shit together
[9:17 - 9:19] I want to be a better fucking person
[9:20 - 9:26] And the only way I can do that is by stepping away and working on myself
[9:29 - 9:32] That's what I need to do. I need to step away and work on myself
[9:41 - 9:45] And to those that do support me and to everyone in general
[9:50 - 9:54] I'm sorry. I am true
[9:54 - 9:58] I am truthfully and honestly sorry about the shit that I did
[9:59 - 10:05] Okay, and I hope that you guys can won. I hope you guys can eventually
[10:06 - 10:09] You know forgive me for what happened, but also
[10:10 - 10:14] I hope that you guys will allow me to move forward because that's what I want
[10:15 - 10:18] I want to move forward in my life. I want to do better
[10:19 - 10:22] I take responsibility for what I did
[10:22 - 10:29] Okay, I get what I did was fucked up and I understand that and I'm not blaming anybody else but myself
[10:31 - 10:36] I wasn't thinking when I did that shit. I wasn't in a good state of mind when I did that shit
[10:38 - 10:41] Because I was already dealing with a lot as was
[10:42 - 10:44] I was dealing with a lot of fucked up shit
[10:45 - 10:52] Okay, and you guys need to understand that I was not in a right state of mind when I made that mistake that I made
[10:52 - 10:56] And crypt I'm sorry to you for going after your family like I did
[10:57 - 11:00] All right
[11:00 - 11:05] But there's a difference between you and what I did with the whole case shit. All right
[11:06 - 11:12] With you crypt you're trying to use me for your fucking music
[11:13 - 11:17] There's a difference. I had a reason to take a jab at you
[11:18 - 11:20] Because you sat right there
[11:20 - 11:24] And you belittled me bro. You tore me the fuck down
[11:25 - 11:29] After I was fucking there for you through every fucking thing
[11:30 - 11:34] Yeah, going after your family may not have been the right move and I get that
[11:36 - 11:38] But look at what you did
[11:40 - 11:42] Look at what you caused
[11:44 - 11:49] You sat there and you used me to promote your fucking album
[11:51 - 11:54] Every goddamn time you use
[11:55 - 11:58] Me to promote your fucking album and I'm sick of it, bro
[11:59 - 12:02] I'm tired of being a goddamn doormat
[12:05 - 12:17] I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being used as your fucking springboard
[12:18 - 12:20] Because I'm not your springboard, dude
[12:26 - 12:29] And to axle. I'm sorry that you guys see me like this
[12:30 - 12:33] But I promise you bro when I come back I'm gonna be better
[12:34 - 12:37] Because I want to do fucking better for myself
[12:42 - 12:47] Axel, I do want to be better. I do fucking want that
[12:48 - 12:49] More than anything
[12:51 - 12:53] I want to be better
[12:55 - 13:07] But how am I gonna be better if these people keep holding me back and axel?
[13:07 - 13:09] I know you're watching this because I just saw you in the chat
[13:10 - 13:13] And that's why right now I have to step away
[13:17 - 13:20] I have to fucking step away from youtube
[13:21 - 13:24] I have to step away for a while. I'm sorry
[13:24 - 13:27] I have to step away to work on myself
[13:28 - 13:31] Because maybe if I work on myself
[13:35 - 13:39] Maybe if I work on myself and give myself to where I want to be
[13:40 - 13:42] Maybe when I come back things will be better
[13:54 - 13:59] And you're right axel these people aren't to blame for my wrongdoings
[14:00 - 14:01] You're right about that
[14:02 - 14:06] And like I said I take responsibility for what I did
[14:07 - 14:09] I get what I did was wrong
[14:10 - 14:14] I take responsibility for that and I'm sorry for all that guys
[14:16 - 14:18] I am truly sorry for all that
[14:24 - 14:30] But bringing up my past and attacking me with my past that doesn't help anything
[14:32 - 14:34] If anything that makes it worse
[14:53 - 14:56] Here's the thing ab I did take responsibility. Okay
[14:57 - 15:02] I genuinely did I get that what I did could have landed me in jail
[15:02 - 15:05] I get that what I did could have gotten my ass kicked
[15:07 - 15:11] I do take responsibility for that and I am genuinely sorry
[15:15 - 15:17] But bringing up my past
[15:17 - 15:21] Doesn't help
[15:21 - 15:22] That doesn't help at all
[15:34 - 15:37] You know some of you guys say that you want me to be better
[15:37 - 15:39] You want me to fucking do better
[15:42 - 15:46] Then if you want to do better quit bringing up my fucking past
[15:48 - 15:50] Let me do what I need to do to get better
[15:51 - 15:55] Stop bringing up my fucking past and we won't have any fucking problems
[15:56 - 16:14] I'm streaming directly from youtube right now axel so I can't unfortunately send any links
[16:17 - 16:19] But I'll tell you all right now
[16:22 - 16:23] I'm telling you all right now
[16:24 - 16:27] I am genuinely sorry for what I did
[16:28 - 16:31] I am truthfully sorry about everything that went down
[16:31 - 16:36] I'm sorry about what I did wrong. I'm sorry about doing what I did
[16:36 - 16:40] With Kate Chris. I'm sorry to you for the shit that I did to you
[16:42 - 16:45] I am genuinely sorry for the shit that I fucking did to you
[16:45 - 16:49] I'm sorry to you Kate for the shit that you got me into and how I felt for it
[16:50 - 16:55] I'm sorry about all of that dude. I'm sorry about everything
[16:57 - 16:59] None of this ever should have happened
[17:03 - 17:09] None of this should have ever fucking happened and I do take responsibility and I am sorry about all this
[17:12 - 17:14] What I'm trying to understand is this
[17:15 - 17:19] You guys want me to be better, but yet you won't let me move on
[17:20 - 17:23] You won't let me do the things that I need to do to better myself
[17:24 - 17:26] And I don't understand why
[17:29 - 17:33] I don't understand why you guys
[17:33 - 17:37] Won't let me move on to better myself
[17:38 - 17:41] I don't understand
[17:41 - 17:45] You say you want me to be better, but yet you won't let me better myself
[17:48 - 18:01] I don't understand. I want to be a better person. I want to do good in my life
[18:02 - 18:04] I want to be successful
[18:04 - 18:06] So fucking bad
[18:06 - 18:08] But how am I supposed to do that?
[18:09 - 18:12] If my past keeps getting brought up
[18:15 - 18:19] How am I supposed to be better if you guys keep attacking me over my past?
[18:21 - 18:24] Let me move on. Let me do better
[18:25 - 18:27] Let me do things that I need to do to be better
[18:30 - 18:33] That's all I ask is that you guys let me better myself
[18:34 - 18:36] Let me do shit to be better
[18:38 - 18:43] And stop fucking attacking me saying chop it up do this do that
[18:43 - 18:45] No, stop all that
[18:52 - 18:57] And no you didn't fail bro. You did not fail at all
[19:00 - 19:03] You showed me what I need to do and you're right
[19:06 - 19:10] Axel let me tell you bro. You did not fail me
[19:11 - 19:16] You did not fail me if anything bro. You fucking helped me
[19:17 - 19:19] You helped me to see what I need to do
[19:21 - 19:25] And what I need to do is I need to get away from this shit
[19:28 - 19:31] What I need to do is I need to step away and better myself
[19:32 - 19:34] You did not fail me man
[19:40 - 19:42] You did not fail me my dude
[19:43 - 19:45] You did not fail me
[19:46 - 19:48] You showed me what I need to do
[19:51 - 19:53] You showed me what I need to fucking do
[20:04 - 20:08] Dude, I can't send a link. I'm streaming directly from youtube
[20:09 - 20:12] I there is no way to do a co-stream
[20:13 - 20:17] Through youtube unfortunately the only way I can do it is through stream yard
[20:19 - 20:21] But let me tell you all right now
[20:21 - 20:26] Let me tell y'all something right now
[20:26 - 20:28] You want me to be better?
[20:28 - 20:31] Let me move on
[20:31 - 20:34] Let me fucking move on and do better
[20:39 - 20:41] Let me better myself
[20:42 - 20:44] That's all I ask
[20:44 - 20:46] Let me take a break from youtube
[20:46 - 20:51] For three or four weeks so I can get better so I can better myself
[20:53 - 20:56] That's all I ask is to be better
[20:56 - 20:58] That's all I ask
[21:02 - 21:09] That's all I ask is to be able to be forgiven for my wrong doings and to move on with my life
[21:10 - 21:13] That's all I ask is to be forgiven for the shit that I've done wrong
[21:16 - 21:19] Because I do take responsibility for what I did
[21:21 - 21:23] And I'm sorry about all that
[21:24 - 21:26] I'm sorry about what I did wrong
[21:28 - 21:30] It never should have happened
[21:31 - 21:33] I get that it was on me
[21:33 - 21:40] I get that what I did was fucked up and it never should have happened
[21:47 - 21:49] But let me tell you guys something right the fuck now
[21:50 - 21:52] I'm tired of being stuck in this rut
[21:55 - 21:59] And that's why I'm stepping away for a few weeks so I can better myself
[22:01 - 22:04] Because I want to do better and I want to be better
[22:09 - 22:11] I want to be a better person than what I used to be
[22:15 - 22:19] I want to be that person that I was a long time ago before all this
[22:21 - 22:23] Because before all this
[22:23 - 22:28] Before came the one before came the one before all this I was a good person
[22:31 - 22:34] And I want to get back to that so fucking bad
[22:36 - 22:38] You have no idea how bad I want that back
[22:39 - 22:57] But here's the thing Wigan
[22:57 - 23:02] If you're talking about the whole Florida trip I did that for a reason
[23:03 - 23:06] I did that to protect myself from the trolls
[23:07 - 23:09] I did that to protect my family
[23:10 - 23:25] I did that to protect myself and my family
[23:33 - 23:38] I did that because I knew that if I didn't come up with a reason as to why I was stepping away
[23:39 - 23:43] I knew the trolls were gonna attack me. I knew they were gonna attack my family
[23:44 - 23:46] I knew they were gonna attack my friends
[23:47 - 23:49] And I don't want that for my family
[23:51 - 23:53] My family don't deserve to be attacked
[23:53 - 24:06] I want to be a better person guys
[24:07 - 24:11] I really do I want to be a better person so fucking bad
[24:14 - 24:17] You guys have no idea how fucking bad
[24:18 - 24:20] I want to put a
[24:20 - 24:22] No fucking clue
[24:23 - 24:26] You have no idea how fucking bad
[24:27 - 24:31] I want this shit to stop so that I can be successful
[24:32 - 24:34] So that I could do the things that I want to do
[24:34 - 24:37] You have no fucking idea how bad I want that
[24:58 - 25:01] I want to be a better person y'all so fucking bad
[25:07 - 25:09] And that's why
[25:09 - 25:12] I'm stepping away from youtube for a month or so
[25:13 - 25:15] So that I can work on myself
[25:16 - 25:20] Because I want to be better and the only way for me to be better
[25:20 - 25:23] Is to separate myself from the negativity
[25:23 - 25:25] So that I can be a better person
[25:29 - 25:36] You guys said they're calling me a liar, but I'm really not and I get that
[25:37 - 25:40] And I get that you know people like Axl don't necessarily
[25:41 - 25:47] Agree with some of the stuff that I did and I understand why I get why some of you guys don't agree with what I did
[25:48 - 25:58] But y'all gotta understand though, man, I'm trying to be a better fucking person
[25:59 - 26:22] That's all I'm trying to do is be a better fucking person. I want to tell you I want to tell you right now Axl
[26:23 - 26:28] The only thing that can truthfully help me is me stepping away from all this
[26:30 - 26:33] And that's why I'm taking a break from youtube for a month or so guys
[26:34 - 26:39] So that I can work on myself so I can do things that I used to enjoy
[26:40 - 26:44] So that I can get my mind right so that I can do shit that I used to do
[26:50 - 26:53] So that I can be a better person again
[26:56 - 26:58] So after this live stream guys
[26:59 - 27:01] I'm leaving youtube for a while
[27:02 - 27:07] I am genuinely taking a break and leaving youtube for a while
[27:07 - 27:10] Not for good, but I am leaving youtube for a while
[27:10 - 27:16] So that I can better myself so that I can work on myself so that I can be better
[27:16 - 27:29] So I can be successful. I don't know if you guys believe me or don't believe me
[27:30 - 27:35] It is what it is if you believe me. I thank you for that if you don't it is what it is
[27:37 - 27:46] But let me tell you right now. I'm sorry about everything that happened
[27:47 - 27:49] I'm sorry about everything that I did wrong
[27:51 - 27:53] And it never should have happened
[27:53 - 27:56] None of this stuff should have ever happened
[27:57 - 28:01] Okay, none of this should have ever happened at all period
[28:05 - 28:11] I get what I did was wrong. I get that I shouldn't have done any of this
[28:13 - 28:16] I get that I shouldn't have fallen for what I felt for
[28:23 - 28:27] I just wish you guys would understand that when I did all that
[28:27 - 28:33] I was not thinking clearly. I was in a very bad state of mind at that point in time
[28:34 - 28:39] I really was I was in a very bad state of mind at that point in time when I did that
[28:41 - 28:44] I am genuinely sorry for everything
[28:45 - 28:48] And I hope that we can move past this and move forward
[28:48 - 28:53] And I hope that when I come back
[28:53 - 28:57] I hope that you guys can give me that chance that I deserve to be a better person
[28:58 - 29:02] Instead of attacking me
[29:02 - 29:06] And I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry
[29:09 - 29:15] I don't know what else to say or what else to do other than to say that I'm sorry for everything that went down
[29:15 - 29:19] Everything that happened everything I did. I know genuinely sorry and
[29:22 - 29:24] And I don't know what else to say
[29:24 - 29:33] Other than I'm sorry. I'm not blaming anybody else
[29:34 - 29:36] I'm not going after everyone else
[29:39 - 29:45] I'm just here to say that I'm sorry and that I'm leaving youtube for a month or so
[29:46 - 29:49] So that I can work on myself so that I can get better
[29:49 - 29:52] So that I could focus on my artwork again
[29:52 - 29:59] So I could focus on my photography and my music and the stuff that I used to enjoy so much doing
[30:00 - 30:05] I used to enjoy doing all those things so much and I want to do that again
[30:09 - 30:13] So again guys, I am genuinely sorry and
[30:16 - 30:18] I hope that we can move past this
[30:18 - 30:23] I hope that when I come back you guys can give me that fair chance to show you
[30:24 - 30:44] How much of a better person I've become since leaving and to my supporters again
[30:44 - 30:48] I'm sorry for doing what I did and I hope that you guys can understand
[30:50 - 30:54] Why I said what I said you and why I posted that video that I posted
[30:54 - 30:55] I
[30:55 - 30:57] Hope you guys can understand
[30:58 - 31:06] That in doing that I was trying to protect my family and my friends and myself from any more stuff that was going on
[31:07 - 31:10] Okay, I hope you guys can understand that
[31:14 - 31:19] I hope you guys can understand that I was just trying to protect my family and my friends
[31:19 - 31:22] From being attacked any more than they've already been attacked
[31:24 - 31:33] I hope you can understand that I hope that
[31:34 - 31:40] I hope that you guys
[31:40 - 31:42] will be supportive
[31:43 - 31:45] of me
[31:45 - 31:48] And getting better because I want to be better
[31:48 - 31:50] I want to do better
[31:50 - 31:55] And I hope you guys will give me that chance to do better without me being attacked
[31:56 - 32:00] Without my facebook being attacked without my friends or family being attacked
[32:01 - 32:05] I hope you guys can genuinely give me that chance to do that
[32:10 - 32:13] Because like I said, I want to be better so bad
[32:14 - 32:20] I want to be successful with stuff that I love. I want to be successful
[32:21 - 32:22] with
[32:22 - 32:25] You know my artwork with my music
[32:25 - 32:31] With my gaming live streams. I want to be able to get those sponsorships
[32:31 - 32:33] I want to be able to do what I love for a living
[32:35 - 32:37] But I can't do that until I get better
[32:40 - 32:44] So for the next four to five weeks, I am stepping away from youtube
[32:45 - 32:48] And I'm not going to be uploading while my upload here and there
[32:48 - 32:51] But I'm not going to be doing any more live streams
[32:52 - 32:56] I'm going to be staying on facebook hanging out with my friends and my family
[32:57 - 33:00] Getting back into things that I used to enjoy doing
[33:02 - 33:06] So that I can get myself right so that I can be a better person
[33:07 - 33:10] So that I can be better than what I was
[33:23 - 33:26] That's all that I want for myself is to be
[33:26 - 33:38] Better
[33:38 - 33:41] And the only way I can do that is by stepping away
[33:41 - 33:52] for a month or so
[33:52 - 33:54] Well definitely and say guys
[33:55 - 33:57] I love you guys
[33:58 - 34:02] And hopefully when I come back, I'll be a better person
[34:04 - 34:06] Hopefully when I come back
[34:06 - 34:07] You guys can
[34:07 - 34:09] You know
[34:09 - 34:11] Not do this anymore
[34:11 - 34:13] Hopefully when I come back you guys can actually
[34:15 - 34:21] You know
[34:21 - 34:23] Hopefully you guys can allow me to move on
[34:28 - 34:32] So axl, I don't know if you're still watching this, but I will message you
[34:34 - 34:36] um
[34:36 - 34:38] That's where the rest of you guys
[34:39 - 34:41] I love you guys and
[34:42 - 35:01] As for the rest of you guys I will see you when I come back
[35:02 - 35:06] I love you guys
[35:06 - 35:08] I promise you when I come back I will be better
[35:08 - 35:11] I promise you that