2021-9-15 LET ME MOVE ON

[0:09 - 0:16] gonna fucking speak on something and to Axel I still am gonna work with you to try to get better
[0:16 - 0:26] but I am gonna fucking say this to Crypt K and to everyone all right I apologize for everything
[0:26 - 0:33] I've done wrong Crypt I apologize for coming after you and your family I apologize for what I
[0:33 - 0:39] fucking did okay I own up to that shit and to everybody that fucking seen me I'm sorry for
[0:39 - 0:46] the shit that went down with Kate I'm not blaming anyone else I'm really not all right
[0:47 - 0:58] I'm not blaming no motherfucking body else I made the mistake I admit that the crypt you bringing
[0:58 - 1:05] up my fucking past doesn't help me to be a better person dude that don't fucking help me to be a
[1:05 - 1:15] better fucking person you coming up here bringing up my past don't help shit it really does not
[1:15 - 1:24] fucking help but the thing is this but the thing is that there is no thing bro I'm trying to be a
[1:24 - 1:34] better fucking person okay I'm trying to do better I'm trying to be better but how is you doing that
[1:34 - 1:43] shit help any it really does not fucking help you know Axel's right I do need to be a better person
[1:43 - 1:52] and I want to be a better person all right I'm sorry for the shit that went down I'm sorry for
[1:52 - 2:08] what I fucking did I am truly sorry for all of that but what I'm trying to understand is this
[2:16 - 2:25] what I'm trying to understand is this why do you guys feel like you have to do me like that
[2:26 - 2:31] why do you feel like you gotta do me dirty like that why do you feel like you have to do this
[2:31 - 2:44] shit to me bro and to all my fans that do support me I do apologize for a line to you like I did
[2:46 - 2:55] but the reason I did is because I knew then if I didn't come up with a reason to fucking get off
[2:55 - 3:02] I knew the trolls would come after me and I'm sorry about that I'm sorry about me doing that
[3:02 - 3:15] but I had no fucking choice I had no motherfucking choice but to do what I fucking did because I knew
[3:15 - 3:21] if I said that I was taking a break they were either gonna attack me my friends or my family and
[3:21 - 3:28] my family is going through enough already they don't need anymore bro they don't need anymore
[3:28 - 3:40] shit all right I apologize for what I did the mistakes I made the shit I did wrong I'm sorry
[3:40 - 3:46] about that but dude you guys gotta give me that chance to move on and be better
[3:47 - 3:57] if I can't if we can't move past this and move on from this how am I supposed to be a better person
[3:58 - 4:06] if y'all can't let the past go how am I supposed to be a better person I don't understand it
[4:09 - 4:17] I want to be successful I want to be a better person but how can I do that if y'all keep
[4:17 - 4:32] from my past and attacking me over it it don't make no sense bro like I'm trying to do me
[4:32 - 4:40] I'm trying to be a better fucking person bro I am truthfully trying to be a better person
[4:41 - 4:51] because like Axel said me and him fucking spoke me and Axel spoke and let me tell you he's right
[4:51 - 4:57] I need to be a better person and I am genuinely sorry for the shit that I fucking did
[4:59 - 5:08] I get what I did was fucked up all right and Kurt Kay yes you do use me to promote your music
[5:09 - 5:19] your channel says it all you always tell people right when you attack me oh check out my music
[5:19 - 5:27] oh this guy's this and that but oh check out my music you use me to promote your music
[5:27 - 5:38] and I'm tired of being a fucking doormat I'm tired of being a motherfucking doormat bro I want to
[5:38 - 5:46] better myself I really do I want to be better I want to do better but how am I supposed to do
[5:46 - 5:58] better if I'm constantly being held back and to Axel I do thank you for speaking with me man
[6:00 - 6:06] I do thank you for speaking with me bro I appreciate the hell out of that man
[6:07 - 6:15] I really do I appreciate that and you're right I do need to be better I really do
[6:21 - 6:32] and I want to be better so fucking bad I do genuinely want to be better so fucking bad
[6:33 - 6:41] but how am I gonna get better if the trolls keep bringing up my past and attacking me over it
[6:45 - 7:03] I don't understand I genuinely do not understand for all those that do support me
[7:04 - 7:08] for every one of you guys that does support me this is a question for you guys
[7:09 - 7:17] for all those that genuinely do support me how many of you guys want to see me get better
[7:17 - 7:24] how many of you guys truly want to see me be successful be honest how many of you in the
[7:24 - 7:53] comments want to see me get better and do better with my life because I genuinely want to be better
[7:53 - 8:24] I want to be a better person and let me tell you I don't care what you guys think of me
[8:31 - 8:43] all I'm gonna say is this to my real supporters to those that truly do support me I promise you
[8:43 - 8:50] guys because I am gonna be taking a break for the next few months but I can promise you guys
[8:50 - 8:56] when I come back I am gonna be better because I want to do better I want to be a better
[8:56 - 9:05] fucking person I don't want to be held back no more I need to get my fucking shit together
[9:07 - 9:19] all right I need to get my shit together I want to be a better fucking person
[9:20 - 9:30] and the only way I can do that is by stepping away and working on myself that's what I need to do
[9:30 - 9:44] I need to step away and work on myself and to those that do support me and to everyone in
[9:44 - 9:58] general I'm sorry I am true I am truthfully and honestly sorry about the shit that I did
[9:59 - 10:07] okay and I hope that you guys can one I hope you guys can eventually you know forgive me for
[10:07 - 10:14] what happened but also I hope that you guys will allow me to move forward because that's what I
[10:14 - 10:22] want I want to move forward in my life I want to do better I take responsibility for what I did
[10:22 - 10:29] okay I get what I did was fucked up and I understand that and I'm not blaming anybody else but myself
[10:31 - 10:36] I wasn't thinking when I did that shit I wasn't in a good state of mind when I did that shit
[10:38 - 10:44] because I was already dealing with a lot as was I was dealing with a lot of fucked up shit
[10:45 - 10:51] okay and you guys need to understand that I was not in a right state of mind when I made that
[10:51 - 10:56] mistake that I made and crypt I'm sorry to you for going after your family like I did
[10:57 - 11:04] all right but there's a difference between you and what I did with the whole case shit
[11:05 - 11:12] all right with you crypt you're trying to use me for your fucking music
[11:12 - 11:19] there's a difference I had a reason to take a jab at you because you sat right there
[11:20 - 11:28] and you belittled me bro you tore me the fuck down after I was fucking there for you through
[11:28 - 11:34] every fucking thing yeah going after your family may not have been the right move and I get that
[11:34 - 11:48] but look at what you did look at what you caused you sat there and you used me to promote your
[11:48 - 11:58] fucking album every goddamn time you use me to promote your fucking album and I'm sick of it
[11:58 - 12:16] bro I'm tired of being a goddamn doormat I'm tired of it I'm tired of being used as your
[12:16 - 12:28] fucking springboard because I'm not your springboard dude and to actual I'm sorry that you guys see me
[12:28 - 12:36] like this but I promise you bro when I come back I'm gonna be better because I want to do fucking
[12:36 - 12:52] better for myself actually I do want to be better I do fucking want that more than anything I want
[12:52 - 13:07] to be better but how am I gonna be better if these people keep holding me back and actually I know
[13:07 - 13:13] you're watching this because I just saw you in the chat and that's why right now I have to step away
[13:17 - 13:24] I have to fucking step away from YouTube I have to step away for a while I'm sorry
[13:25 - 13:36] I have to step away to work on myself because maybe if I work on myself maybe if I work on
[13:36 - 13:42] myself and give myself to where I want to be maybe when I come back things will be better
[13:54 - 14:01] and you're right Axel these people aren't to blame for my wrong doings you're right about that
[14:02 - 14:09] and like I said I take responsibility for what I did I get what I did was wrong
[14:10 - 14:14] I take responsibility for that and I'm sorry for all that guys
[14:14 - 14:27] I am truly sorry for all that but bringing up my past and attacking me with my past
[14:28 - 14:56] that doesn't help anything if anything that makes it worse here's the thing ab I did take responsibility
[14:56 - 15:04] okay I genuinely did I get that what I did could have landed me in jail I get that what I did
[15:04 - 15:11] could have gotten my ass kicked I do take responsibility for that and I am genuinely sorry
[15:15 - 15:35] but bringing up my past doesn't help that doesn't help at all you know some of you guys say that
[15:35 - 15:45] you want to be better you want to fucking do better then if you want to do better quit bringing
[15:45 - 15:53] up my fucking past let me do what I need to do to get better stop bringing up my fucking past
[15:53 - 16:12] and we won't have any fucking problems I'm streaming directly from YouTube right now Axel so I can't
[16:12 - 16:25] unfortunately send any links but I'll tell you all right now I'm telling you all right now I am
[16:25 - 16:32] genuinely sorry for what I did I am truthfully sorry about everything that went down I'm sorry
[16:32 - 16:39] about what I did wrong I'm sorry about doing what I did with Kate Chris I'm sorry to you for the
[16:39 - 16:46] shit that I did to you I am genuinely sorry for the shit that I fucking did to you I'm sorry
[16:46 - 16:52] to you Kate for the shit that you got me into and how I felt for it I'm sorry about all of that
[16:52 - 17:04] dude I'm sorry about everything none of this ever should have happened none of this should have ever
[17:04 - 17:13] fucking happened and I do take responsibility and I am sorry about all this what I'm trying to
[17:13 - 17:20] understand is this you guys want to be better but yet you won't let me move on you won't let me
[17:20 - 17:32] do the things that I need to do to better myself and I don't understand why I don't understand why you
[17:32 - 17:43] guys won't let me move on to better myself I don't understand you say you want to be better
[17:43 - 18:00] but yet you won't let me better myself I don't understand I want to be a better person I want
[18:00 - 18:08] to do good in my life I want to be successful so fucking bad but how am I supposed to do that
[18:09 - 18:18] if my past keeps getting brought up how am I supposed to be better if you guys keep attacking
[18:18 - 18:27] me over my past let me move on let me do better let me do things that I need to do to be better
[18:29 - 18:36] that's all I ask that you guys let me better myself let me do shit to be better
[18:37 - 18:44] and stop fucking attacking me saying chop it off do this do that no stop all that
[18:52 - 19:03] and no you didn't fail bro you did not fail at all you showed me what I need to do and you're
[19:03 - 19:15] right actually let me tell you bro you did not fail me you did not fail me if anything bro you
[19:15 - 19:24] fucking helped me you helped me to see what I need to do and what I need to do is I need to get away
[19:24 - 19:34] from this shit what I need to do is I need to step away and better myself you did not fail me man
[19:40 - 19:52] you did not fail me my dude you did not fail me you showed me what I need to do you showed me what
[19:52 - 20:10] I need to fucking do dude I can't send a link I'm streaming directly from YouTube I there is no way
[20:10 - 20:17] to do a co-stream through YouTube unfortunately the only way I can do it is through stream yard
[20:19 - 20:28] but let me tell you all right now let me tell you all something right now you want me to be better
[20:28 - 20:44] let me move on let me fucking move on and do better let me better myself that's all I ask let me
[20:44 - 20:51] take a break from YouTube for three or four weeks so I can get better so I can better myself
[20:53 - 21:05] that's all I ask is to be better that's all I ask that's all I ask is to be able to be forgiven
[21:05 - 21:12] for my wrong doings and to move on with my life that's all I ask is to be forgiven for the
[21:12 - 21:22] shit that I've done wrong because I do take responsibility for what I did and I'm sorry
[21:22 - 21:32] about all that I'm sorry about what I did wrong it never should have happened I get that it was on me
[21:33 - 21:48] I get that what I did was fucked up it never should have happened but let me tell you guys
[21:48 - 21:56] something right the fuck now I'm tired of being stuck in this rut and that's why I'm stepping
[21:56 - 22:04] away for a few weeks so I can better myself because I want to do better and I want to be better
[22:08 - 22:17] I want to be a better person than what I used to be I want to be that person that I was a long time
[22:17 - 22:27] ago before all this because before all this before came the one before came before all this I was a
[22:27 - 22:38] good person and I want to get back to that so fucking bad you have no idea how bad I want that back
[22:53 - 23:02] but here's the thing Wigan if you're talking about the whole Florida trip I did that for a reason
[23:03 - 23:23] I did that to protect myself from the trolls I did that to protect my family I did that to
[23:23 - 23:37] protect myself and my family I did that because I knew that if I didn't come up with a reason as to
[23:37 - 23:43] why I was stepping away I knew the trolls were gonna attack me I knew they were gonna attack
[23:43 - 23:49] my family I knew they were gonna attack my friends and I don't want that for my family
[23:51 - 24:08] my family don't deserve to be attacked I want to be a better person guys I really do I want
[24:08 - 24:19] to be a better person so fucking bad you guys have no idea how fucking bad I want to put a
[24:20 - 24:29] have no fucking clue you have no idea how fucking bad I want this shit to stop so that
[24:29 - 24:36] I can be successful so that I can do the things that I want to do you have no fucking idea how
[24:36 - 25:10] bad I want that I want to be a better person y'all so fucking bad and that's why I'm stepping away
[25:10 - 25:18] from YouTube for a month or so so that I can work on myself because I want to be better and the only
[25:18 - 25:25] way for me to be better is to separate myself from the negativity so that I can be a better person
[25:28 - 25:38] you guys said they're calling me a liar but I'm really not and I get that and I get that you
[25:38 - 25:43] know people like actual don't necessarily agree with some of the stuff that I did and I understand
[25:43 - 25:50] why I get why some of you guys don't agree with what I did but y'all gotta understand though man
[25:56 - 26:02] I'm trying to be a better fucking person that's all I'm trying to do is be a better
[26:02 - 26:25] fucking person and let me tell you let me tell you right now Axel the only thing that can
[26:25 - 26:32] truthfully help me is me stepping away from all this and that's why I'm taking a break from
[26:32 - 26:38] YouTube for a month or so guys so that I can work on myself so I can do things that I used to enjoy
[26:40 - 26:52] so that I can get my mind right so that I can do shit that I used to do so that I can be a better
[26:52 - 27:05] person again so after this live stream guys I'm leaving YouTube for a while I am genuinely taking a break
[27:05 - 27:11] and leaving YouTube for a while not for good but I am leaving YouTube for a while so that I can
[27:11 - 27:18] better myself so that I can work on myself so that I can be better so I can be successful
[27:18 - 27:32] I don't know if you guys believe me or don't believe me it is what it is if you believe me I
[27:32 - 27:44] thank you for that if you don't it is what it is but let me tell you right now I'm sorry
[27:44 - 27:52] about everything that happened I'm sorry about everything that I did wrong and it never should
[27:52 - 28:00] have happened none of this stuff should have ever happened okay none of this should have ever
[28:00 - 28:11] happened at all period I get what I did was wrong I get that I shouldn't have done any of this
[28:13 - 28:25] I get that I shouldn't have fallen for what I fell for I just wish you guys would understand
[28:25 - 28:32] that when I did all that I was not thinking clearly I was in a very bad state of mind at that point in
[28:32 - 28:39] time I really was I was in a very bad state of mind at that point in time when I did that
[28:41 - 28:48] I am genuinely sorry for everything and I hope that we can move past this and move forward
[28:51 - 28:56] and I hope that when I come back I hope that you guys can give me that chance that I deserve
[28:56 - 29:06] to be a better person instead of attacking me and I don't know what I'll say other than I'm sorry
[29:09 - 29:14] I don't know what else to say or what else to do other than to say that I'm sorry for everything
[29:14 - 29:23] that went down everything that happened everything I did I am genuinely sorry and I don't know what
[29:23 - 29:36] else to say other than I'm sorry I'm not blaming anybody else I'm not going after everyone else
[29:39 - 29:46] I'm just here to say that I'm sorry and that I'm leaving YouTube for a month or so so that I can
[29:46 - 29:53] work on myself so that I can get better so that I can focus on my artwork again so I can focus on
[29:53 - 30:01] my photography and my music and the stuff that I used to enjoy so much doing I used to enjoy
[30:01 - 30:13] doing all those things so much and I want to do that again so again guys I am genuinely sorry
[30:13 - 30:21] and I hope that we can move past this I hope that when I come back you guys can give me that
[30:21 - 30:43] fair chance to show you how much of a better person I've become since leaving and to my
[30:43 - 30:48] supporters again I'm sorry for doing what I did and I hope that you guys can understand
[30:48 - 30:56] and why I said what I said to you and why I posted that video that I posted I hope you guys can
[30:56 - 31:04] understand that in doing that I was trying to protect my family and my friends and myself
[31:04 - 31:15] from any more stuff that was going on okay I hope you guys can understand that I hope you guys
[31:15 - 31:20] can understand that I was just trying to protect my family and my friends from being attacked
[31:20 - 31:37] any more than they've already been attacked I hope you can understand that I hope that I hope that you
[31:37 - 31:49] guys will be supportive of me and getting better because I want to be better I want to do better
[31:50 - 31:57] and I hope you guys will give me that chance to do better without me being attacked without my
[31:57 - 32:03] Facebook being attacked without my friends or family being attacked I hope you guys can
[32:03 - 32:15] genuinely give me that chance to do that because like I said I want to be better so bad I want to
[32:15 - 32:24] be successful with stuff that I love I want to be successful with you know my artwork with my
[32:24 - 32:32] music with my gaming live streams I want to be able to get those sponsorships I want to be able to
[32:32 - 32:42] do what I love for a living but I can't do that until I get better so for the next four to five
[32:42 - 32:48] weeks I am stepping away from YouTube and I'm not going to be uploading one might upload here and
[32:48 - 32:54] there but I'm not going to be doing any more live streams I'm going to be staying on Facebook
[32:54 - 33:00] hanging out with my friends and my family getting back into things that I used to enjoy doing
[33:02 - 33:09] so that I can get myself right so that I can be a better person so that I can be better than what
[33:09 - 33:40] I was that's all that I want for myself is to be better and the only way I can do that is by
[33:40 - 34:00] stepping away for a month or so we'll definitely and say guys I love you guys and hopefully when I
[34:00 - 34:10] come back I'll be a better person hopefully when I come back you guys can you know not do this
[34:10 - 34:22] anymore hopefully when I come back you guys can actually you know hopefully you guys can allow
[34:22 - 34:32] me to move on so Axel I don't know if you're still watching this but I will message you
[34:36 - 35:00] that's where the rest of you guys I love you guys and that's where the rest of you guys I will see
[35:00 - 35:10] you when I come back I love you guys I promise you when I come back I will be better I promise you that