2021-9-1 IM BACK

[0:00 - 0:27] what's up everybody how's everybody doing this evening now i know what you guys are thinking
[0:28 - 0:39] dude you say you're back but you've never left like what well allow me to evaporate
[0:50 - 1:06] i'm gonna tell you right now for the past for the past five years i've been gone
[1:11 - 1:20] but now i'm back and let me tell you it feels great to be back
[1:20 - 1:31] because a lot of you guys might not realize this physically i was here from 2015 to now
[1:31 - 1:40] i was here physically i was here but mentally i wasn't the day i lost my older brother
[1:41 - 1:47] and my best friend in 2015 was the day that i left music
[1:47 - 1:59] all those years i was just floating on by asking myself second guessing myself
[1:59 - 2:09] always asking myself what do i do how do i move on always asking myself am i really good enough
[2:09 - 2:12] is this what i'm meant for is this what i'm meant to be doing
[2:12 - 2:21] always questioning should i be giving up should i be finding a regular job where i'm miserable
[2:21 - 2:27] and fall in with the in crowd and follow the rest of the people and be like everyone else
[2:27 - 2:39] for the past six years i have asked myself that one question over and over and over again
[2:39 - 2:45] and then last year came and i lost the love of my life
[2:45 - 2:56] last year i lost my fiancee lexie to health issues that were beyond her control
[2:56 - 3:06] and let me tell you that fucking hurt a lot and a lot of people think that oh physically you
[3:06 - 3:12] were here so you must have been here yeah physically i was but mentally i was asleep
[3:12 - 3:22] i was dead mentally i was dead for the last six years and let me tell you
[3:22 - 3:32] for those of you that are musicians like myself i know you guys know this feeling
[3:32 - 3:37] even a lot of you guys that are artists like myself in general you guys know where i'm coming
[3:37 - 3:41] from with this wholeheartedly the day
[3:41 - 3:55] the minute the hour the second that i got that guitar and i strapped it up earlier and i was
[3:55 - 4:05] playing let me tell you in the past six years i've never felt more alive in my life
[4:05 - 4:12] than when i had that guitar around my fucking neck and i was fucking killing that shit
[4:12 - 4:23] and let me tell you it felt so good for the first time in six years i felt alive
[4:24 - 4:29] for the first fucking time i felt alive and it felt great
[4:29 - 4:38] and let me tell you right now i don't plan on going anywhere i'm back and i'm here to stay
[4:38 - 4:51] i'm not going anywhere despite what all of you try to do to me masshole reports
[4:53 - 5:00] chuck stegel people like you that want to get in my way because let me tell you right now
[5:00 - 5:07] motherfuckers y'all better stay the fuck out of my way because i'm back and i'm not stopping
[5:07 - 5:16] for nobody i'm not letting you take this one shot away from me that ain't fucking happening
[5:18 - 5:27] cause see what you don't seem to realize is this we're all human at the end of the day
[5:27 - 5:34] we are all human at the end of the day we all make mistakes
[5:34 - 5:45] we all make mistakes some worse than others but let me ask you this
[5:47 - 5:52] when you're on your deathbed and you look back on your fucking life
[5:52 - 5:59] do you really think any of those mistakes you made are ever gonna matter when you're dead
[5:59 - 6:07] all the mistakes you made aren't gonna matter the mistakes you made aren't gonna make shit
[6:07 - 6:11] when you're dead and in you you're in the ground and you're rotting
[6:14 - 6:21] the only thing that's gonna matter about your mistakes is this one thing whether
[6:21 - 6:28] you go to heaven or you go to hell and let me tell you i made a lot of fucked up mistakes
[6:28 - 6:36] and i know that i might go to hell i might end up in hell but let me tell you right now
[6:36 - 6:45] i'm gonna fight like hell i'm gonna fight like hell to not end up there i'm gonna fight like
[6:45 - 6:53] hell to go to heaven with my family and my friends i'm gonna fight like hell to get there
[6:53 - 6:59] because unlike you guys that want to sit there and pull me down
[7:00 - 7:05] i have the balls to get back up and keep fighting for what i believe in
[7:05 - 7:14] i have the fucking courage and the guts to get back up to keep fighting
[7:14 - 7:20] because let me tell you my entire life my back's been up against the wall
[7:21 - 7:29] my entire life i have spent fighting i've spent my whole life fighting
[7:29 - 7:33] every day of my life has been a constant fight
[7:33 - 7:42] so you think that you can just waltz in and beat me down think again
[7:46 - 7:51] because there's one thing you need to learn about me masshole reports when my back's up
[7:51 - 8:00] against that wall that's when i'm at my most dangerous because i have nothing to lose but
[8:00 - 8:08] everything to gain so you really think you really think that you could take
[8:08 - 8:14] anything away from me that someone else hasn't already tried to take from me you think that
[8:15 - 8:19] you can ruin my life any worse than you already have not a fucking chance
[8:19 - 8:23] because we all know that you're fake
[8:23 - 8:28] you're doing all this shit for attention
[8:28 - 8:37] you're doing this shit for attention because you know damn well deep down you're afraid of me
[8:37 - 8:43] every one of you that attacks me you're afraid of me every one of you that laughs at me
[8:44 - 8:50] in the comments and makes these snooty little comments deep down and in the back of your
[8:50 - 8:58] fucking mind you know damn well you're afraid of me because i have the power to make a change
[8:58 - 9:07] i have the ability to have a voice i have the ability and the potential to actually do good
[9:07 - 9:16] and break your little bullshit community apart and destroy it and you're afraid of me because
[9:16 - 9:23] you don't want that to happen so what do you do you do all this fucked up shit to try to
[9:23 - 9:31] break me down to try to ruin my life to try to take things from me well guess what motherfuckers
[9:31 - 9:37] i'm back and i'm fighting and let me tell you right now i will die before i give up
[9:37 - 9:44] i will put a fucking bullet in my brain before i ever give up
[9:44 - 9:50] i'll be old and gray before i ever give up
[9:54 - 10:02] because let me tell you right now for the past five months my life has been a living
[10:02 - 10:11] breathing nightmare for the last five months my life has been a living breathing nightmare
[10:11 - 10:18] i've not had a normal life i've not had a girlfriend to stick by me and be there for me
[10:19 - 10:28] i've not had really anybody be there except for a very few people and that main motherfucker
[10:28 - 10:37] that's always been there is my motherfucking brother from across the pond the one and only
[10:37 - 10:46] clint my motherfucking brother from australia my boy clint that motherfucker has been there
[10:46 - 10:56] for me through everything when my best friend of 10 years often walked out of my life
[10:56 - 11:03] and chose to have a crowd mentality he was there he had my back when i broke down
[11:04 - 11:08] five months ago when all this shit started he had my back
[11:08 - 11:14] when all these motherfuckers were attacking me he had my back
[11:14 - 11:25] so y'all stupid fucks really think that you can get to me that easily not a fucking chance
[11:28 - 11:34] because there ain't no way in hell i'm just gonna sit by and let you stupid motherfuckers
[11:34 - 11:41] take away my life again if anything i'm standing up and i'm taking it back
[11:41 - 11:48] no matter what you say no matter what you do i'm taking my life back
[11:52 - 11:59] and guess what this guitar right here is gonna be my way out
[11:59 - 12:11] that guitar right there is gonna be my way out and you want to know why because
[12:13 - 12:22] shortly before my best friend david's passing in 2009 i made a promise to him i made a promise
[12:22 - 12:30] to make it out of acrid i made a promise to make it a music in honor of him and if anything
[12:30 - 12:39] happened to him i made a promise that i would keep his legacy alive i made a promise to him
[12:39 - 12:46] that i would keep his legacy and his name alive the same way that i do with my older brother
[12:46 - 12:56] my best friend zack my mentor coda oda my my now past fiance alexi
[12:56 - 13:08] my friend michelle who was a juggler who passed away from severe heart disease
[13:09 - 13:10] back in 2017
[13:10 - 13:21] the same way i keep every fucking legacy of every person i've ever cared about and do still
[13:21 - 13:29] care about alive i'll keep in their memory alive i made a promise to every one of them
[13:29 - 13:34] that same promise that i made to my best friend david is the same promise that i made to every
[13:34 - 13:41] one of them and let me tell you right now i intend on keeping that promise i intend on
[13:41 - 13:49] carrying on that legacy and there's that damn fucking thing anyone of you stupid little bitch
[13:49 - 13:56] cowards can do to fucking stop me because i'm not backing down i'm not giving in i'm doing
[13:56 - 14:04] what i gotta fucking do and i'm making shit happen regardless of what you stupid fucks have
[14:04 - 14:12] to say about me regardless of what you think of me regardless of what you say about me
[14:12 - 14:25] there is no way in hell i'm backing down ever again because like i said for the first time in
[14:25 - 14:38] my life i'm back for the first time in six years i'm back and let me tell you it feels great to
[14:38 - 14:46] be back it feels great to be alive again it feels great to have that fire burning once again
[14:46 - 14:56] that same fire that thought died out that same fire that thought died out six years ago is back
[14:56 - 15:02] and let me tell you i'm hungry as ever and let me tell you there ain't no way i'm
[15:02 - 15:13] letting that motherfucking fire burn out at all whatsoever i refuse to let that fire burn out again
[15:15 - 15:20] so every one of you that thinks that you can get in my way that thinks you can stop me
[15:20 - 15:28] that thinks you can get away with making posts on facebook about me that hurt me and my family
[15:28 - 15:37] posts that hurt my friends things to try to destroy me guess what you're wrong
[15:38 - 15:48] because for the first time in six years i feel more alive than i ever have in the last five years
[15:48 - 15:59] because let me tell you for the last five years i've been asleep
[15:59 - 16:07] and let me tell you it feels great to be awake it feels great to be back it feels great to be
[16:07 - 16:17] told what i need to do and there ain't no way in hell i'm backing down from anyone
[16:17 - 16:23] because like i said before man my back's been up against the wall my whole life
[16:23 - 16:30] so you really think that you're gonna fucking stop me i don't think so
[16:33 - 16:38] because no matter how many times you knock me down no matter how many times you try to drag
[16:38 - 16:46] me down no matter how many times you try to break me no matter no matter how many times
[16:46 - 16:53] you try to embarrass me try to do shit to fuck my life up guess what i'll knock that one down
[16:53 - 17:01] to you no matter how many times you knock me down no matter how many times you try to break me
[17:01 - 17:09] guess what i'm getting back up and i'm fighting because that's what i was born doing and that's
[17:09 - 17:18] what i'll die doing i was born fighting and i guarantee you i will die fighting with every
[17:18 - 17:24] last inch of my body with every last fiber of my very being i will die fighting
[17:27 - 17:35] i will fight from my dream to making a music whether it be with this beautiful guitar
[17:35 - 17:40] whether it be writing songs whether it being a vocalist or guitars whatever
[17:40 - 17:49] i will fight for that i will fight to be able to have a girlfriend again i will fight
[17:49 - 17:57] to be able to have my normal life again because let me tell you you may have taken my normal
[17:57 - 18:04] life away from me five months ago but guess what i'm here and i'm taking that motherfucker back
[18:04 - 18:13] i'm taking my life back away from every one of you motherfuckers that stole it from me
[18:14 - 18:21] i'm back and i'm taking that motherfucker i don't give a fuck who i gotta run through
[18:21 - 18:28] i don't care who i have to walk on i don't care who i have to run over i don't care who i have
[18:28 - 18:35] to take down i'm taking my life back i'm taking the life back that you stupid fucks took away
[18:35 - 18:44] from me five months ago five months ago y'all stupid fucks took my life away well guess what
[18:44 - 18:51] bitch i'm back and i'm taking it back and there's not a damn thing you could do to stop me
[18:51 - 18:59] and if you think you can't stop me think again because i'm taking my life back and i'm not
[18:59 - 19:05] letting any motherfucker get in the goddamn way again i'm not letting any motherfucker get in
[19:05 - 19:12] the goddamn way because if you try to take my life i'm running your ass over and i'm not gonna
[19:12 - 19:21] think twice about it five months ago you took everything away from me that i ever cared about
[19:21 - 19:31] well guess what bitch i'm back i'm back and i'm taking my life back and i'm not gonna give a fuck
[19:31 - 19:39] who i have to run over to do it so if you think you've got the balls to stop me then step up
[19:39 - 19:48] otherwise get out of the way because i'm not stopping for you and i ain't stopping for no
[19:48 - 19:56] motherfucker i'm taking my life back i'm getting my normal life back i'm gonna be happy again
[19:56 - 20:05] i'm gonna find that special someone i'm gonna get my life back and guess what i'm gonna fucking
[20:05 - 20:12] make it in music regardless of what any of you say about me regardless of the negative
[20:12 - 20:19] shit that you think about me so if you think you're stopping me fuck you because i'm not
[20:19 - 20:28] stopping i'm not breaking and i'm not bowing down ever again so if you think you can stop me
[20:28 - 20:36] don't even get the notion to try because i'm back and i'm taking my life back
[20:39 - 20:44] so if i were you i would seriously back off
[20:44 - 20:50] because there ain't a motherfucker on this goddamn planet that could stop me
[20:50 - 20:58] there ain't a goddamn motherfucker on the face of this goddamn earth that can break me there ain't
[20:58 - 21:03] a fucking person in this goddamn galaxy that could stop me from doing what i need to do
[21:05 - 21:09] because i'm back i'm more determined than ever and guess what
[21:09 - 21:18] i ain't gonna break i ain't gonna fold and i sure as fuck ain't gonna bow down
[21:18 - 21:28] so if you think you're even gonna get the notion to stop me think again
[21:31 - 21:36] because let me tell you i got a reason to fight this time around
[21:36 - 21:47] i'm not only fighting for myself i'm fighting for my family i'm fighting for all those that
[21:47 - 21:54] came before me all my friends and all my family that have lost their lives i'm doing it for them
[21:54 - 22:03] i'm doing it for those that want to see me make it and i don't plan on stopping so if you think you
[22:03 - 22:15] can bring it let's see what you can do let's see what you can do motherfuckers because like i said
[22:19 - 22:24] my whole life i've been fighting my whole life has been one big fight
[22:24 - 22:42] so if you really think that you can break me more than i've already been broken that's where you're
[22:42 - 22:50] wrong because there's one thing every one of you motherfuckers that attacks me seems to fail to
[22:50 - 23:02] realize i've got nothing to lose but i have everything to gain which makes me very fucking
[23:02 - 23:12] dangerous and if i were you i would have fuck with me because i'm the one motherfucker
[23:12 - 23:19] that don't back down i'm the one motherfucker that won't step aside i'm the one that you can't
[23:19 - 23:28] get rid of i'm the one that you can't destroy i'm the one that you can't break i'm the one
[23:28 - 23:39] that you can't make disappear i'm here i'm back and i'm staying and that is my promise to every
[23:39 - 23:46] one of you that has had my back this whole time every one of you that has had my back
[23:46 - 23:50] every one of you that has supported me i want to say thank you
[23:53 - 23:59] i want to say thank you to every one of you that's had my back because i saw what you guys
[23:59 - 24:07] were saying and i heard you i heard what you were saying i heard your voices i heard what
[24:07 - 24:16] you were saying this whole time and let me tell you you guys were right i needed to find a way
[24:16 - 24:26] back i needed to make that comeback i needed to get off my ass and stop feeling sorry for myself
[24:26 - 24:35] and start fighting back and guess what i'm back i'm back for you guys i'm back for my friends
[24:35 - 24:43] i'm back for my family i'm back for all those all those that came before me and i'm back
[24:43 - 24:51] for every single person that believes in me for every single person that has stood by me
[24:51 - 25:00] i'm back and i'm not going anywhere i can promise you that i'm not going anywhere
[25:00 - 25:04] your boy's back and it's time to get what's mine
[25:04 - 25:13] so fuck you haters and fuck every one of you that thinks that you can bring me down
[25:13 - 25:15] because i'm not going to be stopped again
[25:15 - 25:21] i'm back and i'm better than ever and i feel great
[25:21 - 25:33] so fuck all you that think you're gonna stop me this time it ain't happening
[25:37 - 25:47] peace
[25:47 - 26:17] you