2021-8-7 SKULL SCRATCHERS RULE

[0:00 - 0:10] (Music)
[0:10 - 0:39] Alright, you fucking weirdos. You guys are probably wondering, "Yo, what's with the new logo?"
[0:39 - 0:55] Well, I'll sit down and talk to somebody today, and that came up with a brilliant idea.
[0:55 - 1:10] See, you guys like to poke fun, alright? You guys like to poke fun at me and make fun of me and laugh at me.
[1:10 - 1:27] Well, you guys want something to laugh at? You guys want to laugh at me, right? Well, I'll give you something to laugh at.
[1:27 - 1:43] Here's your daily head scratch. See, you guys like to poke fun and laugh. Well, like I said, you guys want it? You guys got it.
[1:43 - 2:00] I'll give you something to laugh at, you crazy freaking weirdos. Like, you guys want something to laugh at? I will give you something to laugh at.
[2:00 - 2:13] Which is why this channel is going to be rebranded as Skull Scratchers, which I will be drawing some dope-ass Skull Scratchers merch coming very, very soon.
[2:13 - 2:33] See, you guys like to talk very bad, like you're some sort of badass. Like, do you hear yourselves when you talk? Do you hear yourself when you talk?
[2:33 - 2:44] I mean, you sound like the Hulk trying to take a shit. I forgot, you sound like the Hulk trying to take a shit the way you talk.
[2:44 - 3:00] Alright, what'd you do, come out of a bad-bones-ass? Alright, come on, what'd you do, come out of a bad-bones-ass screaming at you getting one? Or did it just shit you out? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you came out screaming.
[3:00 - 3:28] And that's what she said. You know, I find it funny how, I find it funny how you guys, the trolls, act all big and bad and big and huff.
[3:28 - 3:32] Oh, look at me, I'm a big huff troll.
[3:32 - 3:38] Alright, dude, when you do that, you sound like the Hulk trying to take a shit.
[3:38 - 3:58] Watch more than what I can say from my grandmother. What? You sound like the Hulk trying to take a shit, but he can't take a shit 'cause he's constipated and...
[3:58 - 4:10] So, when you get mad, when you get mad, stop trying to sound like the Hulk trying to take a shit. I'm just saying.
[4:10 - 4:18] Like, if you're gonna try to be the Hulk, you might want to paint yourself up green.
[4:18 - 4:34] Like, you might want to paint yourself green, and actually, no, never mind, because your shit that comes out of your body is already baby shit green, so just take that and, you know, spirit all over your face. It might make you look better.
[4:34 - 4:45] And this ain't no insults, man. This is just me being comedic as fuck. This is just me being funny. Hey, you know, speaking of trash.
[4:45 - 4:56] Speaking of trash, have you looked through your closet literally shaped because half your clothes are trash from models and...
[4:56 - 5:05] Oh, wait, that's right. I forgot you live in a trash can. I forgot you live in a trash can.
[5:05 - 5:11] Yeah, you're right. It's far from funny. You know what's funny? Why don't you look in the mirror?
[5:11 - 5:18] Oh, wait, never mind. I forgot. You might break the mirror. I'm just saying. You might break the mirror, big guy.
[5:18 - 5:36] So, if I were you, I would cover your face with a mask and then look in the mirror because, clearly, it's not Halloween. Well, I do. Halloween's like, what? Three months away? Two months away?
[5:36 - 5:46] Wait, bro, come on. Does it look like it's Halloween all year round? Or are you living in Halloween Town for the last century?
[5:46 - 5:52] I'm just asking. Because that guy down the road wants to know.
[5:59 - 6:09] Like, seriously, the guy down the road wants to know. Is it Halloween? If so, can he borrow your mask you're wearing all year round?
[6:09 - 6:27] Hey, I'm just asking for that guy because he wants to know. I'm just asking. I'm just the messenger boy. I'm not the whatever. I'm just the messenger guy, okay?
[6:27 - 6:36] I'll tell you what kind of shit show it is. It's the kind of shit show where you sit down and you take your shit.
[6:36 - 6:55] So, pull up your toilet. Because you're going to be on for quite a while. And I gotcha.
[6:55 - 7:13] For real, it's the kind of shit show where you sit down and you take your shit.
[7:13 - 7:22] Hey, troll, why don't you join the fun? Unless you're trying to join the troll movie, then you're kind of late.
[7:22 - 7:36] If you're trying to join the troll movie, you're kind of late, troll. Just saying. You're kind of late. I'm just saying.
[7:36 - 7:47] Yeah, I know. That's why I modded her. I just made her a moderator.
[7:47 - 8:01] Hell, that rogue mod. Like, what is this? Star Wars Rogue Squadron? Like, what? What is this? Star Wars Rogue Squadron? Does that feel like you got any rogue every 5 seconds?
[8:01 - 8:10] Or are you trying to be one of the X-Men? Are you trying to be rogue from the X-Men? If so, nice try because you're not a chick.
[8:10 - 8:27] Unless you got a sex change in the last, what, 48 hours?
[8:27 - 8:48] Alright, Mary, be safe. But like I'm saying, to the troll, you're kind of late for the troll movie. If you're trying to audition for the troll movie, you're kind of already late.
[8:48 - 9:03] Because that movie done released, what, last year? You're kind of late, buddy. I'm just saying.
[9:03 - 9:17] You guys want to sit there and say that you're not a troll? Clearly you look like a troll because you're kind of late for the troll 3 remake.
[9:17 - 9:27] Oh wait, I forgot. I forgot. You're the what? The lost cousin of the main troll that was a reject that ain't getting put in the movie?
[9:27 - 9:37] Or are you the other guy? Or are you the extra that got put in the back? I don't know. I can't tell. Y'all look the same to me. Y'all trolls look the same to me.
[9:37 - 9:52] I can't tell y'all. I can't tell you guys apart from a hole in the ground. I'm just saying. Y'all look the same. Y'all like peanuts. Y'all look the fucking same. I'm just saying.
[9:52 - 10:20] Wait, you guys want comedy? You guys want to laugh at me? Well here you go, fuckers. Laugh away.
[10:20 - 10:45] I got it all day. I'm just saying. I got it all day. I love you trolls. I love you trolls because you laughed at me which allows me to laugh at myself which means I'm essentially trolling the trolls.
[10:45 - 11:05] Which means we must be related. What are you? My distant cousin from my great great grandmother or my aunt or whatever. We're obviously related because obviously we're all trolls here. You troll me. I troll the trolls. We're all related. You see how that works?
[11:05 - 11:33] We got a call in, ladies and gentlemen. Let's see who it is.
[11:33 - 11:43] And no answer. This annoying calls.
[11:43 - 11:52] Wrong number, again.
[11:52 - 11:58] Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. Our first calling.
[11:58 - 12:08] Hello? Hello?
[12:08 - 12:28] Well guess what, sonny boy? Ain't that happened? So you can take your bullshit and take your words, take your words, show them up your ass and why don't you go be your daddy's bitch?
[12:28 - 12:49] Whatever, boy. Whatever. Yeah, guess what? I got more pussy than you, little sonny boy. I got way more pussy than you, little boy. So if I were you, if I were you, I would take my ass back to school and learn how to actually get a girlfriend, sonny boy.
[12:49 - 13:09] Look at what's the matter. You can't keep it up in the bedroom, sonny boy? Is that it? Is that it? You can't keep it up in the bedroom? I know I'm like, at least I'm not a ghost or an invisible bitch like you.
[13:09 - 13:20] Well, now that's fun, shut up.
[13:20 - 13:33] So, what more do you want? You want my hat, too?
[13:33 - 13:48] What do you want next? A lock on my hair? Okay, I can tell the piece of my lock on my hair, I think. I don't know. Maybe I can. Maybe I can. I don't know.
[13:48 - 13:53] Yes, I did. And those wolves made him a schnack.
[13:53 - 14:11] Oh, looky looky. It's a little mess of wine's lunch.
[14:11 - 14:15] What do you want, little mess of wine's lunch? I'm busy.
[14:15 - 14:23] Why don't you plug in your mike, retard? Why don't you get a life, ya weirdo? I'm just sayin'.
[14:23 - 14:27] Are you talking to an unplugged mike you look recruited?
[14:27 - 14:33] Well, guess what? Maybe that's the point.
[14:33 - 14:46] I know I'm a mongoloid. But at least I'm not an invisible like you and your family. I would rather be a mongoloid.
[14:46 - 14:59] I'll tell you what's wrong with me. The fact that I'm funnier than you.
[14:59 - 15:10] Oh, what's the matter? Little Timmy over here, ya'll. Little Timmy over here's mad that he's not as funny.
[15:10 - 15:19] Yeah, you own my ass like you own a light bulb, boy. Oh wait, I forgot. You don't even own a light bulb. What am I saying? Who am I kidding?
[15:19 - 15:29] Oh well. Actually, I'm not gonna shit, cause quite frankly, I don't.
[15:29 - 15:37] I can drive better than you, sonny boy. And if you're not careful, your ass is gonna be a road tail.
[15:37 - 15:45] Hmm, well, what do I look like? A bundle of sticks to you? Well, that's how I check. That's how I check a baguette is a bundle of sticks.
[15:45 - 15:57] So do I look like a bundle of sticks to you, sonny boy? Do I look like a bundle of sticks to you? Do I look like a bundle of sticks?
[15:57 - 16:12] Well, guess what? I'm proud to be a mongoloid because of that. No, you wonder why I'm proud to be a mongoloid? Because at least I'm not a retard like you. Call somebody a bundle of sticks.
[16:12 - 16:16] Yeah, whatever. Yeah, you're right. I'm better than you are. Cause you're a worse retard.
[16:16 - 16:37] Now, would anybody else like to take a crack at me?
[16:37 - 16:54] Would anybody else like to take a crack at me? I can do this all day, people.
[16:54 - 17:11] Oh, look. It's Lil' Mongoloid Jr. calling again. Oh my god. It's worse than my grandmother. And she's dead.
[17:16 - 17:31] This guy's worse than my grandmother. And she's dead. I'm just saying.
[17:31 - 17:36] What do you want? You're worse than my grandmother and she's dead. John, what do you want?
[17:36 - 17:40] Check your email. Check your email.
[17:40 - 17:47] Alright, fine. I will. Well, that's what.
[17:47 - 18:04] Sorry, I'm not gay. You might have been, hey, if you want a fact, if you want somebody that's gay, if you want somebody that's gay, why don't you go to Marty?
[18:04 - 18:11] I'm pretty sure Marty's gay, so why don't you hit him up? I'm just saying.
[18:11 - 18:20] Well, guess what. Your troll ain't working, sonny. It's like you. It's a failure.
[18:20 - 18:29] Well, guess what. Joke's on you, weirdo. That joke's on you.
[18:31 - 18:35] Alright, I will. Don't you just do it. Don't you just do it.
[18:35 - 18:40] Hey, look, y'all. I'm dancing. He said to dance. I'm dancing.
[18:40 - 18:45] Why don't you get a light, loser?
[18:45 - 18:56] Well, guess what. I'd rather be a mongoloid than a bum-ass loser like you who does nothing with his life.
[18:56 - 18:58] Hahaha!
[18:58 - 19:07] What else you got?
[19:07 - 19:12] Anything else?
[19:12 - 19:21] Anybody else care to try me today?
[19:23 - 19:27] I swear to God that dude's worse than my grandmother. And she's dead.
[19:27 - 19:30] Hey, what?
[19:30 - 19:34] Alright.
[19:34 - 19:38] I'll be right back, y'all.
[19:38 - 19:50] Hang out here, relax, chill out, enjoy the jokes. If you haven't caught 'em, rewind to that, rewatch it. I'll be right back.
[19:51 - 22:58] Yeah.
[22:58 - 22:59] Good.
[22:59 - 23:48] Yeah.
[23:48 - 23:49] Right.
[23:49 - 23:58] Yeah.
[23:58 - 23:59] Right.
[23:59 - 24:45] Yeah.