2021-8-25 stepping away Indeffinetly

[0:23 - 0:41] What's up everyone? I honestly wasn't planning on making this video today at all. This is
[0:41 - 0:59] something I've been thinking about all day. I thought I was going to go down there and have to
[0:59 - 1:15] know you came up first. I went down to make that one. Wait please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.
[1:17 - 1:34] But like I was saying, this is not a video I was planning on making tonight. All day I
[1:34 - 1:50] think about this and it's a hard decision but it's one that I need to make. I don't know how
[1:50 - 2:00] else to put it but because of the drama that a lot of you trolls have brought on, people like
[2:01 - 2:11] Masshole Records and people like Christ the 30 year old boomer and the drama you guys have
[2:11 - 2:24] brought into my life, I have quite possibly lost one of my best friends that I've known for years.
[2:30 - 2:42] That hurts a lot. I know what you guys are saying. Like you guys are probably like you know screw them
[2:42 - 2:47] if they were a real friend they would stick around but you guys don't understand
[2:48 - 2:59] the bond that I mean this person have or and or possibly had. Like you guys don't understand how
[2:59 - 3:12] close me and Sean were and possibly still I don't know but you guys don't understand the close
[3:13 - 3:23] bond that we had together. This is a man that was there before I started my music career.
[3:23 - 3:32] This is a man that was there for me when my ex-best friend Eric Lehrer stabbed me in the back
[3:33 - 3:40] and took my girlfriend from me. This is a man that was supposed to be my best man if I ever
[3:40 - 3:50] get married. This is the man that was supposed to be my best man in my wedding if I ever get married
[3:50 - 4:01] or ever do. Like this is a man that I could call up at two three o'clock in the morning
[4:06 - 4:15] if something was wrong and he would he would pick up or message me or something. This is a man who
[4:15 - 4:24] helped me get out of all these abusive relationships when I was in. You guys don't
[4:24 - 4:35] understand how hurtful that is for you guys to bring unnecessary drama into my life that I never
[4:35 - 4:49] asked for nor ever wanted. Even now you don't understand how hard I'm planning not to break
[4:49 - 4:58] down right now. Like it is taking everything in me not to fucking break down right now.
[5:02 - 5:16] That's how close me and him are and were like he was family to me and your guys' unnecessary drama
[5:17 - 5:29] may have very well driven one of my best friends in the world away. You don't know how
[5:29 - 5:42] hurtful that is for me. My friendship with Sean is not one that I can just up and walk away from.
[5:45 - 6:04] Me and him have too much of a history together to walk away from it. Like you don't understand
[6:04 - 6:19] how painful that is to lose somebody that you not only called your best friend but you called
[6:19 - 6:30] your family that you called your brother. Somebody who was there for you through everything. Someone
[6:30 - 6:36] who had your back no matter what. Someone who told you how it is regardless of whether you wanted
[6:36 - 6:43] to hear it or not. That's how it was with me and him. He would always tell me shit that even
[6:43 - 7:00] if I didn't want to hear it it's what I needed to hear. Not because of your trolls unnecessary
[7:00 - 7:20] drama. I may very well have lost one of my best friends. I may have very well lost somebody who
[7:20 - 7:29] was family. Somebody who was my brother. Somebody who was my best friend. Somebody who I knew
[7:31 - 8:10] would have my back because of this drama that's going on. That everyone seems to want to bring
[8:10 - 8:17] on into this community and onto me in my life because of all the drama that everybody wants to
[8:17 - 8:44] bring on to me. Because of all this drama I have no choice but to step away. It's not that I want to
[8:44 - 8:53] but I have to. Because I would rather walk away from a platform than to lose a best friend
[8:54 - 9:02] because to me a relationship and a friendship with somebody is more important than some fucking
[9:02 - 9:11] platform. A friendship to me is more important than some fucking platform on the internet.
[9:14 - 9:22] Relationships are what mattered to me. Family. Friends. That's more important than
[9:22 - 9:31] anything in the world to me. Why do you think I always hold true to the to the moniker family over
[9:31 - 9:43] everything? It's because it's true. I would rather have my best friend back than to stay on a platform
[9:43 - 9:54] that's so toxic that's such a fucking cesspool of negativity and toxicity. I would rather walk away
[9:54 - 10:02] from a career as a YouTuber than to lose my best friend. And if you can't understand how important
[10:02 - 10:10] family and friends are to me then I'm sorry. But like I said I would rather lose a career on
[10:10 - 10:16] YouTube that I can always pick back up. I would rather lose that over losing my friendship with
[10:16 - 10:33] one of my best friends. I really would. And to my best friend Sean, if you are watching this
[10:33 - 10:46] and I hope you do. I hope you do watch this Sean. I want you to know that I'm sorry for everything.
[10:51 - 10:57] I'm sorry if the drama that got brought on to me and made me do these fucked up things. I'm sorry
[10:57 - 11:03] that pushed you away from me as a friend and as a brother. I'm sorry that that did that.
[11:04 - 11:09] But I want you to know that I never asked for any of this drama. I never wanted any of it.
[11:10 - 11:17] If anything I want to get away from it. I want to escape the drama. I don't even want the drama
[11:17 - 11:30] in my life. I don't need it. But what I do need is you bro. I need you man. My best friend,
[11:30 - 11:45] my brother. My best man. That's what I need. You're my best friend. My brother. My family.
[11:47 - 11:57] You were there for me through everything. You were there for me when Bill died. You were there for me
[11:57 - 12:04] when Zach got killed. You were there for me to help me get out of those nasty relationships that I
[12:04 - 12:09] was in. Hell you were even there for me during my last relationship when I went to shit with Heather.
[12:11 - 12:16] You were the one that kept me motivated to do stuff that I want to do with my life. You were
[12:16 - 12:25] the one that told me, hey, you know, forget about the bullshit. Do what you want to do with your life.
[12:25 - 12:32] You were the one that taught me that being positive and having a good channel and a good life is more
[12:32 - 12:44] important than drama. You were one of the ones that taught me that that going after what I want
[12:47 - 12:56] and sticking to it and not letting anything get in the way no matter what you taught me how important
[12:56 - 13:09] that was. You showed me that I can do whatever I want to do with my life. You were there for me
[13:09 - 13:25] when I went to jail back in 2012. You were there for me. You were there for me when I started my
[13:25 - 13:34] music career. You were there for me when I first started YouTube. You were there for me through
[13:34 - 13:43] everything. I just hope and pray to God that I haven't lost my best friend or my brother.
[13:47 - 14:02] And again, I'm sorry for whatever negative shit got brought on. But to all you trolls that caused
[14:02 - 14:11] all this shit, you should be ashamed of yourselves. For all you trolls that have brought on this negative
[14:11 - 14:21] cesspool of bullshit that I never wanted or needed in the first place, you should be ashamed of
[14:21 - 14:41] yourselves because I never asked for any of this. I never wanted any of this. I never asked for
[14:41 - 14:49] all this negativity. I never asked to be trolled. I never asked to be attacked. I never asked
[14:50 - 14:55] for any of the drama. I never asked for anybody to make me out to be a bad guy.
[14:56 - 15:04] I never asked for any of that. All I ever asked for was a fair chance to do what I want with
[15:04 - 15:14] my life. All I ever asked for is to be able to be successful on this platform and do what I
[15:14 - 15:22] love without being trolled or harassed. But for the past five months, that's all I've gotten.
[15:24 - 15:30] Harassment, trolling, and even before all this hate shit, before all the mass whole shit,
[15:31 - 15:38] for the year and a half before that, it was constant trolling, being lied to, being
[15:38 - 15:44] led down the wrong path, being made out to be something that I'm not, being made to lash
[15:44 - 15:59] out, being made to hurt those that I love and care about. All for what? Your viewing pleasure?
[16:00 - 16:05] All for what? For you to get views off of because you think I'm an easy target?
[16:15 - 16:21] You know, you trolls just don't understand the life that I live. You don't understand
[16:24 - 16:33] in my situation. You don't understand what I go through on a day-to-day basis. Struggling,
[16:33 - 16:38] trying to find a record label or somebody that would take me on and take me seriously,
[16:39 - 16:45] not just so I can be successful with my music, but so I can, but so that I can keep
[16:45 - 16:52] back to my family who has given me everything so that I can make something of myself.
[16:55 - 17:04] But instead I have to face all this drama every day, all this negativity, all this hatred
[17:05 - 17:16] every day and I can't do it anymore. So that's why until all this negativity stops and I have
[17:16 - 17:24] my best friend back for good and I know I have my best friend back, I'm stepping away from this
[17:24 - 17:40] platform. I'm going back to how things were before I started YouTube. Now I'm not getting rid of much
[17:40 - 17:54] and also don't think that, but I'm not going to be coming back for a while because I want my normal
[17:54 - 17:59] life back. I want the life that I had before all this troll shit started a year and a half ago.
[18:01 - 18:09] I want the life that I had back, back before the defender was back before mass or reports,
[18:09 - 18:18] back before all this trolling shit started. I didn't want this kind of thing. I didn't want
[18:18 - 18:26] to be made out to be a meme or anything like that. I wanted to be known for helping people.
[18:28 - 18:34] I wanted to be known for my music, for the stuff that I can do. I never wanted to be known for this
[18:34 - 18:51] bullshit that I've become known for that I never even wanted to be known for until I get my best
[18:51 - 19:05] friend back. I'm not going back. At this point, I don't care if my channel lives or dies. If it
[19:05 - 19:15] dies, it dies. If it lives, it lives. I don't care either way at this point, but until I get my best
[19:15 - 19:25] friend back and things are good, I'm going back to my normal life. I'm going back to being who I was
[19:25 - 19:39] before I started YouTube. I'm sorry guys, but I can't do this anymore. I would rather have friends
[19:39 - 19:44] and people that care about me surrounding me rather than all these fucking trolls that
[19:45 - 19:52] want to screw me over and lead me down the wrong road and make sure I don't succeed and make all these
[19:53 - 19:59] videos making me out to be a bad guy. I would rather have friends and family that support me
[19:59 - 20:05] and surround me rather than all this negative cesspool of bullshit negativity surrounding me.
[20:11 - 20:18] With that being said, to all those that do truly support me and have supported me,
[20:18 - 20:25] I want to say thank you and that I love you guys. And to all the rest of y'all that are pretending
[20:27 - 20:33] and are just talking shit behind my back, all I have to say is this to you, fuck you.
[20:37 - 20:46] But with that being said guys, I love you and I will see you whenever I see you.
[20:47 - 21:02] Good luck everybody. Hopefully I'll come back one day and hopefully that day when I do come back
[21:03 - 21:10] things will be better. But until then, I'll be seeing ya.