2021-7-27 LETTING THIS CHANNEL DIE

[0:00 - 0:27] [silence]
[0:27 - 0:29] What's up there everyone?
[0:29 - 0:31] Um...
[0:31 - 0:38] I have something that needs to be talked about, but...
[0:38 - 0:41] I want to say sick and tired of.
[0:41 - 0:45] Which is, continuing on...
[0:45 - 0:51] A channel...
[0:51 - 0:56] Where I keep getting drugged into a fucking war that I never asked to be part of.
[0:56 - 1:08] [silence]
[1:08 - 1:11] And how many of you guys are wondering, well...
[1:11 - 1:14] Your title is letting your channel die.
[1:14 - 1:16] That is true.
[1:16 - 1:19] I am gonna let this channel die.
[1:19 - 1:29] [silence]
[1:29 - 1:32] And you wanna know why I'm gonna let this channel die?
[1:32 - 1:38] Because I'm tired of being drugged into a fucking war that I never asked to be brought into in the beginning.
[1:38 - 1:45] [silence]
[1:45 - 1:49] It's like if I'm not friends with one person...
[1:49 - 1:57] It's like if I'm friends with one person, this other group over here attacks me for being friends with that person.
[1:57 - 2:02] And then if I'm friends with this group over here, these guys attack me.
[2:02 - 2:07] I'm tired of being drugged into the middle of a fucking war I never once asked to be part of.
[2:07 - 2:12] I didn't ask to be drugged into this war.
[2:12 - 2:15] I never asked to be fought over.
[2:15 - 2:20] I mean, I get it. I look different. I'm interesting. I'm intriguing to people.
[2:20 - 2:27] But that doesn't mean you gotta treat me like a goddamn sideshow and pass me around like a goddamn cigarette, man.
[2:27 - 2:32] I'm a fucking human being, not a goddamn cigarette that you guys can pass around and smoke all day.
[2:32 - 2:36] [silence]
[2:36 - 2:43] So with this war continuing on and people constantly fighting over who's gonna end my channel, you know what?
[2:43 - 2:50] I say this. If you guys really want my channel that badly, you guys can fucking have it.
[2:50 - 2:57] You guys can have this fucking channel. Say what you want about me. Post what you want. I don't give a fuck.
[2:57 - 3:03] I'm tired of being drugged into a goddamn war that I never asked to be fucking part of.
[3:03 - 3:13] I mean, it's fucking stupid. You guys are using me for goddamn content. I'm not your goddamn fucking puppet, bro.
[3:13 - 3:24] I'm not your goddamn puppet. I'm a human being. I'm not a fucking puppet that you guys can toy around with. I'm a human fucking being.
[3:24 - 3:32] I don't deserve what you guys have put me through over this past year and a half.
[3:33 - 3:43] You know, ever since Jamie's passing, you motherfuckers have sat there and have passed me around over and over and over and over.
[3:43 - 3:47] Like I'm some sort of fucking plaything.
[3:47 - 3:53] I'm not a fucking children's play toy.
[3:57 - 4:04] Yeah, I know some of you don't, Johnny, and I get that, but I'm aiming this at the ones that do think of me that way.
[4:04 - 4:06] I'm fucking tired of it.
[4:06 - 4:13] You want to know what I signed up for when I started this platform back in 2009?
[4:13 - 4:20] You know what I signed up for? To make a living for myself doing things that I enjoy doing.
[4:20 - 4:30] Things such as music, artwork, poetry, gaming, stuff like that that I personally enjoy.
[4:30 - 4:34] I didn't sign up to get passed around like a goddamn pinball.
[4:34 - 4:43] Oh, I know you. I know some of you guys are in. To those that do support me, to those that do support me, I appreciate that.
[4:44 - 4:53] To those that do truly and 110% actually support what I do, I'm grateful to you guys. I'm grateful for that.
[4:53 - 5:10] And here's the thing, I know what you guys are thinking. Am I deleting the channel? No, I'm not deleting the channel.
[5:11 - 5:16] I'm not deleting it. I know what you guys are thinking. You're going to delete the channel. No, I'm not.
[5:16 - 5:21] I'm not getting rid of it. It's just going to basically sit there in a sense.
[5:21 - 5:33] Because honestly, I'm fucking tired of being passed around. I'm tired of motherfuckers coming in, trying to take over my streams, hijack my channel,
[5:34 - 5:42] and then start bailing motherfuckers like they fucking own me. I'm not a fucking children's plaything motherfuckers.
[5:42 - 5:46] I'm a goddamn human being. I deserve to be treated as such.
[5:46 - 5:59] Matter of fact, let me read off to you guys one of my poems I wrote literally just last night.
[6:02 - 6:06] And does that actually have a title yet? I'm still working on that.
[6:06 - 6:08] Wait, is this the right one?
[6:08 - 6:11] Oh yeah, it is.
[6:11 - 6:27] "With darkness now surrounding me, I await the unknown fate. Is it a dark demise? Am I really seeing demons with these cold shingami eyes?
[6:28 - 6:35] Or am I seeing dark thoughts that wander through my eyes, created through these nightmares?
[6:35 - 6:42] Am I the bridge between life and death? Or am I the cursed burden upon this earth?
[6:42 - 6:53] For I have been an outcast since birth. Is this who I'm meant to be? A slave to the dark, broken, hopeless, afraid?
[6:54 - 6:59] Or can I find a way out of this nightmare shrouded in the veil of darkness?"
[6:59 - 7:12] That poem right there is basically me asking, you know, is this life what it's meant for me?
[7:12 - 7:21] This dark life that I've been pushed into? This dark life that I don't see a way out of?
[7:23 - 7:27] That poem is basically me asking, is there a way out of this?
[7:27 - 7:34] You know, how do I escape this? And if there is a way out, how do I escape because I don't see a way out?
[7:34 - 7:48] All I see is bullying being the nightmares and the demons being those people that are causing those nightmares, that are causing the bullying.
[7:51 - 8:03] And quite honestly, I'm fucking tired of it. I'm tired of being that person that everybody feels like they have to push around.
[8:04 - 8:22] That feels like, "Oh, I'm going to use this person for, I'm going to use this person for this."
[8:23 - 8:36] I'm not bringing that person back. Because that person that I was when I was the demon slayer, when I was that person, that's not who I really wanted to be.
[8:36 - 8:50] The person that I wanted to be is who I am right now. A person that doesn't enjoy negativity, a person that enjoys being around friends, family, people that care.
[8:51 - 8:55] Being able to do stuff that I used to enjoy so much.
[9:06 - 9:26] Like, if you take a look at it now, compare my channel now to 2009, you go back to my old videos from 2009-2010, you'll see I was a much happier person then.
[9:27 - 9:36] I was a much happier person back then, before this whole war and shit show started.
[9:36 - 9:43] Before this whole shit show started, and people started fighting over me, I was a good person.
[9:44 - 10:07] You know, I was always happy, I was always doing things. But now since this fucking war started, I've become depressed, I've barely sleep, I've barely eat, I'm always angry all the time, I'm always alert in fear of what's going to happen to my family and to myself.
[10:08 - 10:17] I'm constantly having to spend more time defending my channel than actually putting out very real content that I enjoy.
[10:24 - 10:40] And trust me for scores, trust me for scores, I'm not deleting the channel. As I said, I'm not deleting it. I know what you guys are thinking, am I deleting the channel? No, I'm not. I am in no way, shape or form deleting this channel.
[10:45 - 10:53] All I'm saying is this, this fucking war that you've got, the controls you've got going on, it needs to fucking stop.
[10:53 - 11:06] I mean, you guys claim that you want to make it on YouTube, but yet you use others to get there.
[11:07 - 11:15] And where is that fair? Where is that fair that you use other fucking people to get to where you want to be?
[11:16 - 11:42] I don't use people for views. No, the people that view me or those that genuinely enjoy me, they watch me because they truly and genuinely enjoy what I do. They see the same vision that I see, they see my abilities, they see my talents and my skills and what I'm truly able to achieve and what I can truly do.
[11:43 - 11:57] Well, because of you trolls constantly getting in the way, I have all this talent, I have all this fucking talent, but nowhere to run with it. It don't make no sense.
[11:58 - 12:13] And I know people sitting there saying, "Oh, that's your own fault." No, the fuck is not my own fault. Take a look at people like Tonic and Sales. People like Rumor Research, who just want to take and take and take and take and take.
[12:22 - 12:38] Think about it. Motherfuckers like Rumor Research, who genuinely fucking hate me. And you know why Rumor Research hates me? Because I stand up for people like my friend Jenny. Because I believe in being a decent fucking person.
[12:39 - 13:07] I don't believe in the cancel culture. I don't believe in the troll community. I don't believe in cancel culture. If you ask me, the cancel culture is a bunch of whiny ass bitches sitting me on the fucking keyboard that refuse to view someone's opinion on things from their point of view and accept it.
[13:08 - 13:20] What do you do? You run around trying to cancel motherfuckers like me, who have a different outlook on things. Just because we have a different outlook on things, that don't mean you gotta fucking cancel people like me.
[13:20 - 13:28] There's other motherfuckers out there that have the same views on shit that I do. But you ain't trying to cancel them.
[13:33 - 13:39] You ain't trying to cancel them, are ya? No, you're not. Because you're too focused on me.
[13:39 - 13:49] And I'm telling you right now, I'm fucking sick of this goddamn war that I got drug into. You think I asked to eat drug into this bullshit war? No.
[13:56 - 14:11] I never asked to eat drug into this bullshit fucking dumbass war. Like, let me ask you guys this. I have all the fucking people on YouTube that y'all trolls could go after.
[14:12 - 14:24] All the people that you could genuinely go after that are bad people. People like Tonic in sales, people like Rumor Research, people like Tony, who are true pedophiles.
[14:24 - 14:34] Out of all those motherfuckers, you guys choose to go after somebody like me who's minding his own business. Why?
[14:35 - 14:49] I've done nothing to warrant your attacks on me. And plus yesterday, I proved Kate's bullshit. I proved Kate's bullshit was a lie. I proved that I am not a pedophile.
[14:50 - 15:08] I have blatantly proved that in front of millions of fucking people. And that she was doing nothing but being a bitch-ass troll. But yet, you motherfuckers want to still sit there and choose to believe the bald-faced fucking lies like a bunch of faggot-ass brainless zombies.
[15:19 - 15:38] You guys still choose to believe that box of fucking lies that she's feeding you. You choose to feed on that box of lies because it's popping off. Y'all don't want to hear the real truth from me. You'd rather believe her bullshit box of lies.
[15:38 - 15:45] Hey Aaron, kiss my ass.
[15:45 - 15:47] I'm sorry.
[15:47 - 16:11] Yeah, here's the thing. That Chuck video wasn't actually Chuck. I saw that fucking video. I spoke to him.
[16:12 - 16:21] I spoke to him about that shit. So I know what he's on to with that. So I'm starting to say it, but he's sticking around.
[16:21 - 16:39] Because out of every motherfucker on the goddamn internet, let me tell you right now, out of everyone on the internet that knows me, Chuck knows me better than any motherfucker on the internet. He knows what I really like. He knows who I really am.
[16:40 - 16:46] And let me tell you, he doesn't fall for this fake-ass bullshit like half these motherfuckers.
[17:08 - 17:14] Now let me tell you motherfucking trolls right now. Y'all need to quit this fucking arguing bullshit.
[17:14 - 17:23] This is how you guys sound. Well, let me show you guys how you sound. All y'all trolls that want to sit there and attack. Let me show you how you sound.
[17:23 - 17:35] Oh, this guy's over here. He's friends with this guy. Oh, I can't be friends with this guy because he's friends with them. Oh, let me attack this weird guy. He works with this guy. So I'm going to attack you and his family.
[17:36 - 17:51] Oh, he looks like a weirdo. So I'm going to attack him. Oh, but let's make fun of the new guy. Let's pick on the new guy. Let's pick on the weirdo. Let's fuck his life up. Let's see how much we can fuck his life up.
[17:52 - 18:07] That's how you retards fucking sound. That's how you fucking dumbasses sound every time you do this shit. Every time you sit there and you do this crap, that's how you fucking sound.
[18:08 - 18:24] Young motherfuckers need to grow up and quit the cancel culture bullshit because I am part of that. Don't want to be a part of it. And y'all need to quit trying to go at the motherfuckers like me who ain't doing shit to you dumb fucks.
[18:25 - 18:45] Like Tonic, I ain't done shit to your punk ass. If anything, motherfucker, I've left you alone, dude. And yeah, Tonic, I'm calling your fucking furry faggot ass out, boy. I ain't done shit to you. If anything, I've left you the fuck alone. I've let you do your own thing.
[18:46 - 18:55] And rumor, we all know why you hate my ass is because I made you look like a fucking dumbass in front of your little fucking friends.
[18:55 - 19:07] I made you look like a fucking retard in front of Rustic and all your fucking friends like the bully that you are. That's why you're mad at me because I made you look like a total fucking sleaze bag.
[19:08 - 19:20] And I'll tell you right now, rumor, you keep this shit out. It might not be today. It might not even be tomorrow. But eventually, eventually you're gonna go to jail for the shit you fucking do.
[19:20 - 19:29] Don't blame me. Keep pushing your fucking luck. See where it gets you. Keep on pushing your luck. See where it gets you.
[19:31 - 19:51] But seriously, y'all, why y'all gonna act like a bunch of fucking childish little bitches and argue over shit? I mean, dude, I've seen motherfuckers in my goddamn chat arguing over a goddamn wrench. A fucking wrench, dude. It's a goddamn wrench. It don't make no goddamn difference.
[19:52 - 20:06] Like, seriously, it's a fucking wrench. Like, dude, grow up. Do you know how many people that still call me that don't have wrenches? So why you guys say they're a bitch?
[20:12 - 20:24] Like, seriously, why you gonna fucking fight over a goddamn wrench, bro? It's fucking retarded. It's stupid. And half the shit y'all motherfuckers do is dumb as fuck.
[20:25 - 20:44] Well, you got real motherfuckers like me out here trying to make a living of what we do best. Motherfuckers like me who actually have talents and have skills and have a means to be able to make a true living off of what we love.
[20:45 - 21:05] But no, you guys can't stand when people like me make a living. You can't stand when a smaller channel like me, who actually tells the truth, who's actually real as fuck and doesn't sugarcoat shit, comes along and calls your fake asses out on your bullshit or corrects you.
[21:06 - 21:18] Those of us that come along and correct you and call you out on your fucking idiotic bullshit, you wanna sit there and attack us? No, no, no, that's not how it works.
[21:18 - 21:32] When we correct you, people like me, when we correct you, we expect you to accept that shit and move the fuck on with your lives. Now, whether you accept that shit or not, that's on you.
[21:33 - 21:37] But that don't give you the goddamn right to run around and attack motherfuckers.
[21:38 - 22:02] Like, dude, you don't see me going up on Masshole Reports channel and her comments and attacking her. You don't see me going on a rumor research channel and attacking him or jungle0972. Like, you don't see me going in their motherfucking chats and attacking them. Yes, their view may be different than mine, but I don't sit there and attack them. I let them do their thing.
[22:02 - 22:25] Like, seriously, y'all pissed me the fuck off with all the shit y'all trolls try to do, man. I'm fucking tired of it.
[22:26 - 22:35] You think I asked to be trolled? You think I asked to be attacked? You think I asked to be drug into this war? No, I didn't.
[22:36 - 23:01] I never wanted to be drug into this bullshit fucking online beef bullshit fucking battle. I never asked for that. You wanna know all I've ever asked for? All I've ever asked for is one thing, which is very simple, one thing, to be able to make a living off of what I do. That's all I've ever asked for.
[23:02 - 23:10] Like, is being able to make a living off of what I love to do such a hard thing to ask for? I mean, I don't think that's a hard thing to ask for.
[23:10 - 23:38] Like, seriously, I don't think that me making a living off of what I do is a harder thing to ask for.
[23:39 - 23:53] Like, me making a living off of what I enjoy doing is that much to ask for. And this is what really confuses me. This is what truly confuses me.
[23:54 - 24:11] You guys don't go after people like Jake Monroe. You don't go after people like Jack Septiceye or Markiplier or S.S. Sniperwolf. Like, you don't go after any of them. You don't go after guys like Pewdiepie. You don't go after guys like MrBeast.
[24:12 - 24:20] You don't go after people like Slab Train or Black Panther or That didn't blow. You don't go after any of them.
[24:20 - 24:27] Hell, you don't go after people like my boy Alex.
[24:27 - 24:39] So, my question to you is, if you don't go after them, what in God's name makes you think that you have the right to go after someone like me?
[24:40 - 24:49] I mean, I'm no different than they are. They may have more subs than me, yeah. But that don't make you any different than me.
[24:49 - 25:03] I mean, they're human just like I am. I'm human just like you. They're human just like you, so if you don't go after them, why go after me? It don't make no sense.
[25:04 - 25:12] Like, seriously, it makes no goddamn sense. You don't go after these major YouTubers, so why go after me?
[25:12 - 25:21] Why go after YouTubers like myself and it ain't just me that y'all go after. It's several people and it don't make no sense.
[25:28 - 25:42] Like, it seriously makes no motherfucking sense. Like, y'all are real quick to fucking go after a smaller channel like mine, but you ain't as quick to pull the fucking trigger on a bigger channel. Why?
[25:43 - 26:01] It don't make no damn sense, dude. It's stupid and it's fucking retarded. It's dumb. Like, bro the fuck up, man. Like, and that's where I find so fucking irritating about you fucking moronic trolls.
[26:03 - 26:16] You're real, real quick to go after somebody like myself or any smaller channel at all, but you're less quick to go after a major channel.
[26:16 - 26:31] Like, that doesn't make any sense to me. Like, why attack a smaller channel like myself who's working just as hard? Who puts in just as much time and effort?
[26:32 - 26:34] Like, why?
[26:34 - 26:43] Hold up, what?
[26:43 - 26:50] Hold on, I'm about to look that up right now. Let me confirm.
[26:51 - 27:22] [clock ticking]
[27:22 - 27:24] No, he's not.
[27:24 - 27:30] [clock ticking]
[27:30 - 27:33] I'm literally looking right now.
[27:33 - 27:43] [clock ticking]
[27:43 - 27:45] Oh wait!
[27:45 - 27:48] Oh my god!
[27:49 - 27:51] Dude, what?
[27:51 - 28:02] [clock ticking]
[28:02 - 28:04] Hold on, y'all.
[28:04 - 28:18] Breaking news in a rock feed. One of the most talented and beloved heavy metal drummers of all time and one of the co-founders and the original drummer of Slipknot, Joey Jordan, has passed away at 46 years old.
[28:18 - 28:19] Oh my god!
[28:19 - 28:25] Released by his family minutes ago, revealing that the drummer has died peacefully in his sleep.
[28:25 - 28:38] The statement reads, "We are heartbroken to share the news that Joey Jordison, prolific drummer, musician and artist, passed away peacefully in his sleep on July 26, 2021. He was 46.
[28:39 - 28:50] Joey's death has left us with empty hearts and feelings of indescribable sorrow. To those that knew Joey, understood his quick wit, his gentle personality, giant heart and his love for all things family and music.
[28:50 - 28:58] The family of Joey asks that friends, fans and media understandably respect our need for privacy and peace at this incredibly difficult time.
[28:58 - 29:04] The family will hold a private funeral service and ask the media and the public to respect their wishes.
[29:05 - 29:18] When the kids were pouring in from the metal community, hate brief frontman Jamie Josta wrote, "Rest in peace, Joey Jordison. You changed the game with Slipknot, brought the blast beat to the mainstream, gave kids a groove like no other.
[29:18 - 29:26] Perseverance would have never happened had it not been for Joey in the Slipknot camp. Condolences to his family, friends and fans gone too soon."
[29:27 - 29:36] However, Mike Portnoy wrote, "Absolutely shocked and gutted to hear of the passing of Joey Jordison. In addition to being an incredible drummer, he was always a classy guy.
[29:36 - 29:45] When he heard how much of a fan Max Portnoy was, he sent to the house a giant box filled with Slipknot swag, shirts, hoodies, backpacks.
[29:45 - 29:53] And when I did the one-off show, playing with Stone Sour and Brazil, which Slipknot also played, he always treated me like a part of the family.
[29:54 - 30:04] Since Slipknot parted ways back in 2013, though he was involved with a number of different bands like Scar the Martyr, he also performed in the Murder Dolls, and he was also in the band Sinsanem.
[30:04 - 30:17] Jordison has also performed with artists like Metallica, Korn, Rob Zombie, and many others. You send our hearts out to Joey Jordison, his family, his fans, and the members of Slipknot during this very difficult time.
[30:20 - 30:24] Oh my god, dude.
[30:24 - 30:29] Oh my fucking god, dude.
[30:29 - 30:35] What the? Oh my god.
[30:35 - 30:40] Dude.
[30:40 - 30:45] Fuck, man.
[30:46 - 31:01] Fuck.
[31:26 - 31:28] Give me a minute, guys.
[31:28 - 31:34] I'll start with another live stream here in a bit. I need to think about it, guys.