2021-6-3 what i was born to do

[0:00 - 0:28] How are you doing? You're morning everybody. What's up. Now as you guys know, over the last few days I've been
[0:28 - 0:42] going through quite a lot and over the last few months I've been dealing with so much. I've been
[0:42 - 1:04] dealing with everything from being bullied, I've been dealing with being framed, losing friends, losing loved ones, losing
[1:04 - 1:19] friendships of people that I've known for years, all because of a bully who wanted to ultimately frame me and
[1:19 - 1:32] ultimately catfish me, giving me a very bad reputation that I've since then been trying to clean up. And on top of that I've had to deal with my life being
[1:32 - 1:51] threatened, my family's lives being put in danger. Now many of you may be aware of my situation but if you're not aware allow me to explain it to you. My living
[1:51 - 2:07] situation kind of started back in 2014 when I went to go visit my dad down in Florida. I went to visit my dad in November of 2014 and I had not seen him in
[2:07 - 2:25] about seven years before that. Well while I was down there I had gotten a phone call one day from my mom. I was checking in on her and seeing how she's
[2:25 - 2:47] doing and she had told me that she had a doctor's appointment for my brother who at that time was dealing with HIV. And he had these monthly appointments that he had to go to
[2:47 - 3:02] every month and I was like alright you know just let me know what's going on, you know, keep me filled in, whatever you got you know. Well they went to the doctor's appointment and it wasn't
[3:02 - 3:21] until later that day, later that evening, it was about 3, 4 in the afternoon that I had gotten the worst news that I've ever gotten in my entire life. I had found out that my
[3:21 - 3:45] older brother William Washington who everybody knew was Bill was diagnosed with lung cancer and me and my dad were not close at all really. While I was down there me and him got into a
[3:45 - 4:04] fight because he was bashing on my mom and I was taking out for her and he had thrown me out of his house and I hadn't gotten a hold of an old teacher who I'm still very close to to this very day who was like
[4:04 - 4:21] a father figure to me. His name is Mr. Smith. His name is Henry Smith. He used to be one of my teachers when I was a kid. He's still to this day. Like he's still to this day. I cannot still to this day consider him to be a dad to me. He's
[4:21 - 4:48] literally like one of my best friends. He's a father figure to me always times and always will be. But anyways, he had hooked me up with a motel room until mom could come down and pick me up and they got down there, picked me up, brought me back home and that's when the fight began.
[4:48 - 5:17] From November 8 of 2014 to January to February 3 of 2015 were the longest weeks in my life. I was constantly helping my family take care of my brother.
[5:17 - 5:45] He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer so it was very bad. Doctors said that he was lucky to even make it as long as he did because it was so bad and that he was lucky to have lived as long as he did.
[5:45 - 6:15] About two weeks after I get back home and I'm helping take care of him, he goes into a really bad seizure and we get him calmed down and stuff and as we're calming him down we're noticing this giant thing
[6:15 - 6:41] on his neck and it turned out the cancer was swelling so bad that it started to push up out of his neck. So the last time I ever saw my brother face to face was him being wheeled out on a journey by the ambulance. That was the last time I saw him.
[6:41 - 7:03] For the next two weeks to fall after that, he was in the hospital. That night before he had died I had spoken to him and told him to stay strong and that I knew that he could pull through this.
[7:03 - 7:22] Well little did I know that that next night at 9pm I would get a phone call from my mom and it was the worst phone call of my life.
[7:22 - 7:51] I had gotten a phone call saying that my brother had died at 9pm that night and a lot of people don't understand what that's like to take care of somebody that has cancer to help change their feeding tubes.
[7:51 - 8:21] To make sure they can make it to the bathroom, to make sure they're alright, to make sure that they're comfortable. A lot of people don't understand what that kind of battle is like but then later that year after my brother's passing later that year in December of that year.
[8:21 - 8:40] I would lose my best friend who I've known since high school. I would lose my best friend that was like my brother who I had known since my freshman year of high school. He was my best friend.
[8:40 - 9:10] I would soon find out that my best friend Zach Husain was shot and murdered in his family's pizza shop on December 8th of 2015 and let me tell you when that happened I didn't do anything for weeks except sleep and bow my eyes out.
[9:10 - 9:35] Because I had just lost my brother, my legitimate older brother that same year and then to lose my best friend that always had my back that if something was going on he didn't care if it was 1 in the afternoon or 3 in the morning.
[9:35 - 9:42] If something was going on he would pick out that phone and be like hey man what's going on?
[9:42 - 10:01] If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have made it to the 12th grade like I did. Even though I didn't graduate I owed my high school career to my best friend. He pushed me to get to that point to where I did.
[10:01 - 10:14] And if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have gotten so close to graduating.
[10:14 - 10:27] And then in 2017 the whole world lost somebody who was a hero to me.
[10:27 - 10:37] Somebody who saved my life from suicide many times over which was Chester Bennington from Lincoln Park.
[10:37 - 10:51] Somebody who I've gotten the pleasure to meet many times before. Somebody who inspired me and helped me when I was being bullied in high school.
[10:51 - 11:11] When I felt like I wanted to kill myself. When I felt like I wanted to die. His music saved my life and it also inspired me to help other people like myself.
[11:11 - 11:34] And then I would soon find myself that very next year, in July of that year, it was in March of that year that I would actually lose my mentor who brought me up in the music scene.
[11:34 - 11:48] I would soon lose my mentor who was like an older brother to me, Koda Oda. The man who brought me up in the music scene and taught me everything that I know.
[11:48 - 11:57] The man who took a chance on me and helped me out and showed me the right way to do things as I do them today.
[11:57 - 12:11] And then that next year, all of YouTube lost a very good friend of ours, Miss Jamie Nicole who was a very good friend to me.
[12:11 - 12:24] She had helped me out with my YouTube channel many a times. She had helped me out with a lot of different things.
[12:24 - 12:32] She was a very good friend to me.
[12:32 - 12:44] And then early this year, just a mere four months ago, I would find out that last year,
[12:44 - 12:59] in July of last year, without my knowing, I would lose the love of my life, Lexi Workman, who had died from unknown health issues.
[12:59 - 13:13] And let me tell you, when I heard those words uttered that my girlfriend had passed away last year, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
[13:13 - 13:24] Imagine the worst feeling that you've ever felt in your life. Imagine the worst feeling you could ever feel in your whole life.
[13:24 - 13:37] And times that by 10. And that's the pain and the agony I felt. I was destroyed. I was crushed.
[13:37 - 13:55] This girl who I had known since my freshman year of high school, who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, had passed away from unknown and non-understanding, like the doctors didn't understand why she passed.
[13:55 - 14:14] But I've also loved my life due to an unknown health issue that the doctors couldn't figure out.
[14:14 - 14:22] I had to go through all of that. I had to go through all of that to get to where I'm at.
[14:22 - 14:29] And let me tell you, there were times where I felt like I made my life because of everything.
[14:29 - 14:37] There were times and there still are times where I get depressed and I get sad and I get upset.
[14:37 - 14:48] Because I had lost so many people that I cared about, so many people that were family, friends, so many people that I loved.
[14:48 - 15:00] Gone. Like that. In the blink of an eye.
[15:00 - 15:09] But I also feel like, you know, I had to go through those things.
[15:09 - 15:18] And I don't know if any of you are religious like myself, but if you are, you guys will know where I'm going with this.
[15:18 - 15:24] God made me go through those things for a reason.
[15:24 - 15:44] God made me go through those hardships, everything that I've been through, for a reason. To help other people. Whether it be as simple as sitting down and talking to someone.
[15:44 - 16:03] Or whether it be writing a song about a situation that I've gone through. Or whether it be doing my artwork and telling my story through my art.
[16:03 - 16:17] I've grown up doing artwork my whole life. Since I was four years old, I've been doing artwork.
[16:17 - 16:35] I was put on this earth for one reason. To help people like myself who have gone through and/or going through very similar situations.
[16:35 - 16:55] Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I know your story, because a lot of your guys' stories are very different from mine.
[16:55 - 17:03] A lot of your guys' stories are very different from my own. We all go through things.
[17:03 - 17:19] But let me tell you. I'm proud to be put on this earth to help people. Whether it be through my artwork or my music, I was put on this earth to tell my story.
[17:19 - 17:37] I was put on this earth to try to stop evil people like Kate who do nothing but bully and hurt and bash and destroy people.
[17:37 - 17:52] And I want to dedicate this song right here to every one of you that has gone through something like myself or has gone through terrible situations and has come out a better person.
[17:52 - 18:05] I want to dedicate this song to those that like myself who are not giving up the fight, who are still continuing to battle regardless of what people say, regardless of what people do,
[18:05 - 18:21] regardless of what people put you through. I'd like to dedicate this song right here to every one of you who are fighting the good fight just like myself and staying strong no matter what.
[18:22 - 18:29] Yeah, we're here for the BTS video of Cole and Frach, and P.E.S. and Chicken Man Noguetsu.
[18:49 - 19:01] I'm applauding the world today, trying to pull me into that dark. I'm struggling by the way, and slipping from your looks.
[19:01 - 19:12] I'm getting tired to stay away, and my strength is fading out. You're breathing to me now.
[19:12 - 19:30] I'm awake all night. Everyone know what I'm feeling inside. Now it's my time. I'm doing how I want to. This is my night here, right now.
[19:30 - 19:58] I know what I'm feeling inside. I'm awake at the top of the line. I'm a poor little noguetite. I'm never gonna sell my soul. I'm already made of my mind.
[19:58 - 20:11] No matter what, I can't be but a soul. 'Cause my faith is fading away, and I feel like giving in. You're breathing to me now.
[20:11 - 20:28] I'm awake all night. Everyone know what I'm feeling inside. Now it's my time. I'm doing how I want to. This is my night here, right now.
[20:28 - 20:45] I know what I'm feeling inside. Now I'm awake at the top of the line. Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up. Waking up, waking up.
[20:45 - 21:01] I'm awake all night. Everyone know what I'm feeling inside. Now it's my time. Everyone know what I'm feeling inside. Now it's my time.
[21:01 - 21:30] Everyone know what I'm feeling inside. Now it's my time. Everyone know what I'm feeling inside. Now it's my time.
[21:30 - 21:58] I'm doing how I want. This is my night here, right now. I know what I'm feeling inside. Now I'm waking up, waking up.
[21:58 - 22:24] And I want to say a show of comments right now. How many people in the comments right now, like myself, have been bullied?
[22:24 - 22:32] Or gone through some sort of horrible situation in their life where you feel like giving up and you feel like throwing it all away.
[22:32 - 23:01] Or you've had somebody spit in your face telling you, you can't do something and that you'll never amount to something. How many of you guys have felt like that?
[23:01 - 23:09] Because this song is going on to every one of you right now.
[23:10 - 23:25] If you're sick, if you're sick, if you're sick, if you're sick, not it. If you're sick, if you're sick, if you're sick, if you're sick of it.
[23:25 - 23:33] When everything you do don't seem to matter. Your shot on is no usual world's gay factor.
[23:33 - 23:44] Is it any time you fail? Has no answer? Shouldn't we come to promise? Make this a reminder? No one can make this better.
[23:44 - 23:53] Take control this now or never. Are you sick or bad? Raise your hands, get a little back.
[23:53 - 24:03] Hold in the fighting chest, are you on the right for the death? Have you had enough regret? Take a stand, raise your hands.
[24:03 - 24:13] If you're sick of it, if you're sick, if you're sick of it, if you're sick of it.
[24:15 - 24:22] Every single day, I chase my go-to. Number back inside of me is gotta get, gotta get get away.
[24:22 - 24:30] I'm running out of time for me to break this. I'm tired of feeling like you're never gonna make it.
[24:30 - 24:42] No one can make this better. Take control this now or never. Are you sick or bad? Raise your hands, get a little back.
[24:42 - 24:51] Hold in the fighting chest, are you on the right for the death? Have you had enough regret? Take a stand, raise your hands.
[24:51 - 25:00] If you're sick of it, if you're sick, if you're sick of it, if you're sick of it.
[25:07 - 25:22] I'm tired of it. I'm over it. I wanna be. Gotta make this nice and dark.
[25:22 - 25:31] Raise your hands, if you're sick of it, if you're sick of it, raise your hands. If you're sick, if you're sick of it, if you're sick of it.
[25:31 - 25:44] Raise your hands, get rid of it. Hold in the fighting chest, are you on the right for the death? Have you had enough regret? Take a stand, raise your hands.
[25:44 - 26:13] If you're sick of it, if you're sick of it, if you're sick of it, raise your hands. If you're sick, if you're sick of it, if you're sick of it, if you're sick of it.
[26:13 - 26:16] If you're sick, if you're sick of it.
[26:16 - 26:31] I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of seeing the negativity.
[26:33 - 26:45] I'm tired of seeing all this negativity, all this hatred, all this bullying, all this hell that everybody like myself is getting put through.
[26:52 - 27:08] I'm tired of seeing people like Kate get away with the shit that they get away with when they bully people and they drag people like me down and they destroy us and keep us held down like we can't break free.
[55:53 - 56:13] Well, let me tell you, King James, they show more respect to me than they do to you. And do you want to know why that is my good man? Do you want to know why they show me the respect that I deserve?
[56:14 - 56:28] That is because I have earned it and I am a good person. I am not like you. I am not like Kate Peters. I am not an evil person.
[56:29 - 56:48] I am a man who simply minds his own business, creating artwork, helping others that need it, being a kind and understanding individual, something which you know nothing about.
[56:53 - 56:57] Now, would anybody else like to challenge me?
[57:06 - 57:17] Would anybody else like to challenge my positivity? Would anybody else like to challenge my authority?
[57:18 - 57:25] Would anybody else like to challenge my mods and what they can do?
[57:37 - 57:50] Because in case you did not notice, my mods with the snap of a finger will bang on sight with my say so.
[57:50 - 58:00] I have done it with many people before and I can do it again just as quick, just as fast.
[58:14 - 58:17] And hey, Kerry, how are you?
[58:17 - 58:20] How are you doing this morning, Kerry?
[58:32 - 58:47] Now, as I said, to anyone out there who thinks that they could tear down my career, well, here's a lesson to you.
[58:48 - 59:02] Have you not seen Kiwi Farms? Kiwi Farms, the number one troll site in the world known for bringing down YouTubers and destroying them.
[59:03 - 59:19] Instead of crumbling my career into dust and destroying it for good, it did not destroy me. It did all but destroy me.
[59:20 - 59:34] If anything, it skyrocketed my career and now people know my name and when you talk bad about me, you know what happens?
[59:34 - 59:49] They come over to my channel, see who I am, watch my videos, watch my live streams, and they end up respecting me and liking me.
[59:49 - 59:59] Because I am a respectable person. I am a kindhearted person that will give the shirt off my back without question.
[59:59 - 60:14] So to those of you gentlemen and ladies that feel like you can come up in here and destroy me, I want you to be reminded of one thing.
[60:15 - 60:41] I am the man, the legend, that went against the grain of Kiwi Farms and won. I am the only YouTuber in the history of YouTube to launch his career from Kiwi Farms instead of destroying it.
[60:44 - 60:53] Kiwi Farms could have destroyed my career, but it did not. It boosted my career.
[60:56 - 61:17] And to Kiwi Farms doing that, I am grateful. Now to my fans, I am setting up a brand new shop in which I will not let be taken down because I do plan on telling the site what is going on and to keep an eye out.
[61:20 - 61:39] But to my real fans and those that support me, I thank you. Because of you guys, I have a budding community. I have a chance to make my art a reality.
[61:40 - 61:53] I have a chance to make my dreams as an artist come to life. I have a chance to take my artwork and provide for my family.
[61:56 - 62:10] So to my real fans and supporters, thank you. And to the trolls, I simply say this to you.
[62:17 - 62:41] I only have to simply say is this, "Kiss my ass." And to anyone out there that thinks they are going to shut me down and stop me from making my art and do a career, well I hate to say this to you, but you are sadly mistaken because I will not stop, I will not be broke, and I will not fail.
[62:42 - 62:54] I will not care about how to claw, bite, scratch my way to the top to get to where I need to be with my art. I will do whatever it is necessary to make it.
[62:54 - 63:07] So to all my trolls and to everyone that hates me and does not like me for whatever reason, fuck you and get a life.
[63:10 - 63:20] Now I do hope that this stream helped some of you this morning and I do hope that it inspired some of you and put some positivity into your life.
[63:38 - 63:56] I do hope that I was able to help some of you and I hope now you guys know my story a little bit better as to why I do what I do and how my situation dots the way it is and why I am the way that I am.
[63:57 - 64:09] And to those of you that were being understanding to me, thank you. I am very grateful to you and I very much respect you.
[64:11 - 64:29] Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a shop to open up. So to all the ladies and gentlemen that have supported me on this stream and on this journey to being better, you have my thanks.
[64:34 - 64:48] And to everyone else out there who is going through a hard time, just know that I am fighting with you and that we will get through this together.
[64:51 - 65:02] So to all of my real supporters, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much.
[65:09 - 65:21] I appreciate every single one of you more than you know. And that's not just me talking shit. That is me being very real with you.
[65:21 - 65:26] I thank and support every one of you.
[65:29 - 65:35] Every one of you who has supported me, I thank you because your support means the world to me.
[65:35 - 65:45] And I can't thank you guys enough for the opportunity to make my dreams as an artist become reality.
[65:46 - 65:56] Every day I slowly get back to you. Every day I slowly get to that reality and I know I'm going to make it happen. It's just a matter of time.
[66:04 - 66:13] But with that being said, I love you guys. I hope you guys have a good day, a good evening, a good afternoon, a good night, wherever you are in the world.
[66:13 - 66:22] And just remember, stay humble, stay positive, keep doing you, and look out for each other.
[66:25 - 66:39] And just remember, you guys are awesome and you guys are legends and no one can take that away from you. Peace.
[66:40 - 66:44] Thank you.