2021-6-25 CLEARING THE AIR ON EVERYTHING

[0:00 - 0:16] What's up guys, it's your boy Scottface. So I was sitting down and working on a song
[0:16 - 0:22] earlier getting ready to put some new shit out. When I decided to hit my brother Sean
[0:22 - 0:30] B. Lesson, it was on. Figured I thought I'd hit him up. You know, facts and stuff out
[0:30 - 0:44] that I'm not too happy about is Trolls sitting there and attacking him and I'm
[0:44 - 0:49] not okay with that first off. I'm not okay with you Trolls going in and
[0:49 - 0:59] attacking him and I know why you guys attacked him. I spoke to him and he told
[0:59 - 1:05] me everything. You guys attacked him because you think that he supports my
[1:05 - 1:14] past transgressions. You think that he supports my past actions and the truth
[1:14 - 1:22] is he does not support my past actions and what I did wrong. He does not support
[1:22 - 1:37] that. Hell, I don't even support my past actions. Now as far as him being co-owner
[1:37 - 1:44] of Survivor Records, because of these attacks he has currently passed off all
[1:44 - 1:53] 110% of the ownership onto myself which I'm okay with. I can understand why. I
[1:53 - 2:00] totally understand why but what Sean is trying to do, what my brother is trying
[2:00 - 2:07] to do, is help me to be a better person, to help me not to do what I did ever
[2:07 - 2:12] again. He's trying to help me stay on that straight-edge path that I was on for
[2:12 - 2:22] so long. Like he's really trying to help me stay on the straight and narrow. Like
[2:22 - 2:37] I said, my brother Sean does not support my past actions and what I did but what
[2:37 - 2:43] he does support is me trying to be a better person from it. Me trying to
[2:43 - 2:54] better myself. So I'm asking you guys nicely and calmly and humbly to please
[2:54 - 3:02] leave my family alone. Okay? If you got a problem with me, take it up with me. Just
[3:02 - 3:07] please leave my family out of it. I understand if you have something against
[3:07 - 3:11] me and you don't like me but that doesn't mean you gotta attack my
[3:11 - 3:21] family man. That's my family. That's my brother, that's my family, that's my
[3:21 - 3:28] best friend. He doesn't need to be drug into this. So I'm asking y'all to please
[3:28 - 3:36] leave him alone. Please leave my brother alone. Okay? He's not a pedophile
[3:36 - 3:41] supporter. He doesn't support my past transgressions. He don't support what I
[3:41 - 3:52] did. Hell, like I said, I don't support what I did and I'm bringing attention
[3:52 - 4:00] to this issue because it needs to be brought up. You can see I started
[4:00 - 4:06] Survivor Records to help people. I started this channel to help people
[4:06 - 4:14] through my music. I don't want to argue with anyone. That's not me. If you take
[4:14 - 4:20] a listen to my music, this isn't who I am. I'm not an argumentative person. I don't
[4:20 - 4:30] like to argue and I don't like to fight. I just want to be able to make it doing
[4:30 - 4:34] my music so I can support me, so I can support my family and my friends and
[4:34 - 4:41] the things that they do. So that if some of my family needs a little bit of
[4:41 - 4:46] money, I can be like, "Hey, here's a few dollars for you. Here's a couple hundred to
[4:46 - 4:51] help pay for a car or here's a couple hundred to help pay for this or that." I
[4:51 - 4:59] don't want to argue with anyone. Okay? I really don't. I'm not an argumentative
[4:59 - 5:06] person. If anything, I want to be better than what I used to be. I want to be
[5:06 - 5:15] better and be able to better myself from that situation. But here lies the
[5:15 - 5:23] question. How can I better myself from a situation if you don't let me grow from
[5:23 - 5:32] it and let me learn my own and stop attacking me so I can learn from it?
[5:32 - 5:45] Here's the thing. Sean knows about the whole situation. My brother Sean knows
[5:45 - 5:51] about everything. And let me tell you, he was the first one that jumped down my
[5:51 - 6:00] throat. He was the first one to get on my case about it. And understandably so.
[6:00 - 6:11] Here's the thing though. When I first thought about it, I was afraid to come
[6:11 - 6:17] out and speak the truth. I was afraid to come out and admit my wrongs. But when I
[6:17 - 6:23] spoke to Sean, he gave me the courage to be like, "Okay, this is what I need to do
[6:23 - 6:29] to be a better person." It was through him that I gained the courage to come out
[6:29 - 6:35] and admit what I did wrong. It was through him that I came out as a man on
[6:35 - 6:42] my own terms and admitted what I did was wrong. And you know what I've been
[6:42 - 6:47] trying to do ever since that day? I've been trying to right that wrong. I've
[6:47 - 6:54] been trying to better myself by being a good person, by releasing good music, by
[6:54 - 7:05] clearing the air on this crap. But yet, people want to seem to hold me down.
[7:05 - 7:15] People want to hold me back. I don't want to be held back. What I want is to be
[7:15 - 7:24] able to be a better person and to not be held back by my past. I'm tired of being
[7:24 - 7:33] held back by that. Okay? My brother Sean is a very good person. He's been my
[7:33 - 7:42] best friend for 17 years. He doesn't deserve to be brought into this. If
[7:42 - 7:50] you're gonna go after somebody, go after me. Okay? Leave my family and friends out
[7:50 - 7:57] of it. They don't deserve to be dragged into it. If you want to attack me, I give
[7:57 - 8:04] you guys free shots to do so right here, right now. Say whatever it is you want
[8:04 - 8:08] about me. I won't even block you or ban you. You can say whatever you want about
[8:08 - 8:19] me. But just know this when you do. Just know this. I'm trying to better myself
[8:19 - 8:30] and be a better person than what I used to be. I'm trying to be a better person
[8:30 - 8:39] than what I used to be. I'm trying to better myself from that situation.
[8:39 - 8:48] That's all I'm trying to do is better myself as a human being, as a person. My
[8:48 - 8:57] goal in life is to inspire others who are feeling down and out. Others like
[8:57 - 9:05] myself who have been bullied and beaten down and cast aside by people in
[9:05 - 9:15] society who deem them to be different. My goal is to create good music that
[9:15 - 9:24] people can relate to that can help others. That's all I'm trying to do. I'm
[9:24 - 9:34] trying to help people through music. That's what I do. So Clay honestly, I
[9:34 - 9:42] want you guys to know that I'm sorry once again for what I did. And I
[9:42 - 9:48] genuinely mean every word. I'm truly sorry for my fuck up. I'm sorry for my
[9:48 - 9:59] mistakes. What I did was wrong, yes. Do I condone those actions? No. Should I have
[9:59 - 10:08] gone to jail? Yes, but I didn't. I got off with a warning. And I feel very
[10:08 - 10:14] grateful for that warning because it took that one warning to show me that
[10:14 - 10:21] hey, I fucked up. I need to set things right. I need to do things better. I need
[10:21 - 10:35] to do this, this, and this to better myself. And here's the thing. Nothing can make
[10:35 - 10:42] it better. And you're right. Nothing will ever make that better. See, I can't change
[10:42 - 10:49] what I did. I can't change what I did. That is very true. But what I can change
[10:49 - 10:57] is my future. What I can change is how I move forward. And that's what I'm
[10:57 - 11:05] trying to change. How I move forward and how I progress. How I become a better
[11:05 - 11:15] person. I want to be a better person. Not just for myself, not just for my family,
[11:15 - 11:21] but for you guys. I want to give you guys the best version of myself that I
[11:21 - 11:28] can give you. I want to be able to show you guys the mean that I actually am
[11:28 - 11:35] outside of all this crap. I want to be able to show you who I am when I'm not
[11:35 - 11:39] being attacked and I'm not always alert and fear and I'm not always being
[11:39 - 11:50] bullied. Like you guys want to be myself, right? I'll make you guys deal. I'll make
[11:50 - 11:56] you guys deal right now. You guys let this crap go and quit bringing up my past,
[11:56 - 12:03] okay? You guys quit bringing up my past and quit attacking me about it and quit
[12:03 - 12:09] attacking my family and I'll show you what I can do.
[12:09 - 12:37] And that's your choice.
[12:37 - 13:07] That's your choice to do it or not do it. But again, I say this. Again, I say this to you. I can't change my past. I can't do it. I can't change
[13:07 - 13:16] what I did. All right? What I did was fucked up. Yes. I understand that and I
[13:16 - 13:23] take ownership of that. I take ownership of what I did was being wrong. I get
[13:23 - 13:33] that. I understand that. But what I can change is how I move forward. What I can
[13:33 - 13:41] change is me being who I was then to being a better person and that's what I
[13:41 - 13:53] want. I want to be a better person. No, I didn't block Skull Kid because he's a
[13:53 - 13:59] pussy. I bought Skull Kid because Skull Kid is one of the ones that likes to drag
[13:59 - 14:10] things on. What I want to know is this and I want your guys's honest answer. I
[14:10 - 14:16] don't want no bullshit answer. In order for us to be able to move forward, in
[14:16 - 14:22] order for me to be able to better, to be a better person, okay? In order for me to
[14:22 - 14:28] be a better person, I want to know this. What is it that you guys want me to do
[14:28 - 14:37] to better myself? What is it that I can do to be better for you guys? What do I
[14:37 - 14:52] have to do to show you that I'm serious about being a better person? What do I
[14:52 - 15:01] have to do to show you that I'm not about that life, that I'm about moving
[15:01 - 15:09] forward, that I'm about productivity, that I'm about being a better person? And
[15:09 - 15:15] here's the thing. Here's the thing Harry. I don't even understand why I did it
[15:15 - 15:23] myself. So I can't give you a clear answer on that. Why I did it, I don't
[15:23 - 15:30] understand myself. And that's what people fail to realize. I have no excuse
[15:30 - 15:36] for why I did. I have no answer because I don't understand myself as to why I
[15:36 - 15:43] did what I did. But it's a choice that I regret. I don't understand why I did it
[15:43 - 15:51] myself. I don't understand why I did it. I don't get it. I don't understand why I
[15:51 - 16:01] did it myself. But what I do know is this, is that I regret every waking moment of
[16:01 - 16:10] that decision. I regret every single second of that. I have to live with that
[16:10 - 16:14] for the rest of my life that I made a fucked up mistake. That could have
[16:14 - 16:22] possibly ended me up in prison or ended me up in a graveyard. Which it did almost
[16:22 - 16:31] end me up in a graveyard. Now as I said, I might not understand myself why I did
[16:31 - 16:37] what I did. Because it's true, I don't understand why I did what I did. I don't
[16:37 - 16:45] understand myself why I made that stupid mistake. I don't know if it was me not
[16:45 - 16:51] thinking. I don't know what it was. I don't understand it. And that's what
[16:51 - 16:55] people, what you guys don't understand. Is I don't understand why I did what I
[16:55 - 17:05] did myself. I don't get that myself. I don't understand it either. But trust me
[17:05 - 17:11] when I say I'm angry with myself every day because of that. You don't think I
[17:11 - 17:18] don't hold myself accountable for it? I do. Every waking moment, I'm kicking
[17:18 - 17:23] myself in the head because of what I did. I'm kicking myself in the head
[17:23 - 17:34] every day because of what I did. But amongst me trying to kick myself in the
[17:34 - 17:40] head, I'm trying to make myself a better person and not make that mistake again.
[17:40 - 17:45] So what I don't understand is why is it that you won't let me move on and
[17:45 - 17:55] better myself? Why is it that you guys will not let me move on and better
[17:55 - 18:08] myself? And to say no fake bullshit. This ain't fake. This is for real. I don't
[18:08 - 18:14] understand why it is that you won't let me move on from my past. Let me move on
[18:14 - 18:21] and let me show you the better person I could be. And here's the thing. I didn't
[18:21 - 18:33] keep doing it. That's the thing though. I didn't keep doing it. You want the
[18:33 - 18:44] truth? I'll give you the truth. I'll give you the honest truth. That one time was
[18:44 - 18:55] the only time. There were no other two times. It was only once. Yes, the girl
[18:55 - 19:07] that I was with told me the day after me and her started talking and we started
[19:07 - 19:15] sending pictures. There was a second one but I made a smart decision. I blocked
[19:15 - 19:23] the person after they told me they were underage. I went in and I blocked them.
[19:23 - 19:35] They did not tell me they were underage before I sent anything. They told me
[19:35 - 19:41] that day after everything was sent and we talked on the phone and we had our
[19:41 - 19:48] phone. She did not tell me until the day after that she was underage and when I
[19:48 - 19:53] found out she was underage I blocked her and told her I want nothing to do
[19:53 - 20:01] with her. So you can't put that on me. She didn't tell me until the last second
[20:01 - 20:09] that she was underage and guess what I did? I blocked her when I found out. But
[20:09 - 20:20] that's irrelevant to the point. The point is this. The point is this. I'm
[20:20 - 20:27] trying to better myself. I want to be a better person. I don't want to be that
[20:27 - 20:34] person that I was. I want to be able to make it in music doing what I love to do.
[20:34 - 20:44] I want to be able to make it in music doing what I love to do for myself and
[20:44 - 20:50] for my family. I want a bright future for myself. I want to do what I love for a
[20:50 - 20:59] living. I want to be that better person. I really do. I actually want to be a
[20:59 - 21:05] better person but I can't be a better person if I don't have you guys
[21:05 - 21:12] supporting me and letting go of my past. If you let go of my past and quit
[21:12 - 21:22] bringing it up, if you stop bringing up my past, I can be a better person.
[21:22 - 21:38] If you quit bringing up my past, I can move forward and be a better person and
[21:38 - 21:46] that's what I want to do. I want to move forward and be a better person. So all
[21:46 - 21:52] I'm asking you guys is to please stop bringing up my past. Stop bringing up
[21:52 - 21:59] what I did. Stop bringing up what happened. Let me move forward with my
[21:59 - 22:15] life. Let me move forward with my life. Stop bringing up my past. I don't need
[22:15 - 22:35] to be reminded of it because I live it. Embarrassed Skull, that's what you don't
[22:35 - 22:46] realize. I am capable of change. I am truly capable of change but how can
[22:46 - 22:51] there be any change if we're not moving forward and we're not making progress?
[22:51 - 23:00] You can't make change if you can't move forward. In order to make change, you have
[23:00 - 23:04] to be willing to move forward. You have to be willing to do things to make that
[23:04 - 23:09] change. You have to be willing to do things to make that progress and that's
[23:09 - 23:13] what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to make that progress so I can make that
[23:13 - 23:20] change. I want to be a better person. I want to move forward. I want to be that
[23:20 - 23:28] better person but how am I supposed to move forward with my life if you guys
[23:28 - 23:34] are constantly holding me in the past? And here's the thing, Embarrassed Skull, the
[23:34 - 23:39] reason I don't have a job right now is very simple. It's because my family is
[23:39 - 23:46] elderly and if you think about it, I do have a job already. I get paid 20 bucks a
[23:46 - 23:55] day to help my family. I am my family's caregiver. I am my parents caregiver. I
[23:55 - 24:00] help them out with things. I help to take care of them. That is my job
[24:00 - 24:07] description. That is what I do for a living. I get paid 20 bucks a day to help
[24:07 - 24:14] them around the house with stuff. So yes, I do have a job. Being my step, being my
[24:14 - 24:22] parents caregiver, that is my job and my live streams do show it. There have been
[24:22 - 24:28] many a times where I've had to put down what I'm doing on a live stream to go
[24:28 - 24:38] help my family. Being my parents caregiver is my job. Yes, it might not pay
[24:38 - 24:46] that well right now but I'm going to be going for caregiver benefits so I can
[24:46 - 24:55] get paid even more by the state to be my parents caregiver. And a lot of people
[24:55 - 24:59] think that being a caregiver isn't a real job.
[24:59 - 25:11] I actually know 20 bucks a day. I get paid 20 bucks a day to help take care of
[25:11 - 25:21] my family. I am my I am my parents primary caregiver. Okay, it might not be
[25:21 - 25:26] the best job in the world. It might be annoying at times. Yes, but you know
[25:26 - 25:33] something? I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't ask for any other job in
[25:33 - 25:43] the world other than my music, but that's besides the point. See, while I
[25:43 - 25:50] family being their primary caregiver, you know what I'm trying to do? I'm
[25:50 - 25:56] trying to build myself up so I can make it a music and making it artwork and do
[25:56 - 26:04] things that I love to do with my life. So yes, I'm proud to say that I do have a
[26:04 - 26:11] job as a primary caregiver. I'm proud to say that. I'm proud to say that I got a
[26:11 - 26:16] job. It might not be the highest paying job in the world, but at the end of the
[26:16 - 26:34] day, it's still a job. It still pays. It's still a job. But like I said, I want to
[26:34 - 26:43] be a better person. I really and truly do. I want to be a better person. And as much
[26:43 - 26:49] as I hate to say it as much as I don't want to, if being a better person means
[26:49 - 26:54] deleting my YouTube channel and starting over time and time again, I'll do what I
[26:54 - 27:05] have to do. I will do whatever I have to do to keep that positive vibe going.
[27:05 - 27:14] Because I want to be better. I want to do better. But I can't do better if you guys
[27:14 - 27:22] keep holding me to my past. And that's what you're not understanding. And it's
[27:22 - 27:28] like being in a car. Think about this. Imagine you're driving your career car,
[27:28 - 27:34] right? Imagine you're driving your career car. I call your career car because it's
[27:34 - 27:41] like right out here. I do really love cars. Think about this. You got your car
[27:41 - 27:47] neutral, right? And you shipped it in the first gear and you go to step on that
[27:47 - 27:52] gas and the car doesn't go. And you sit there and you wonder why and you wonder
[27:52 - 27:56] why and you wonder why. And then you take a look at the gas tank, the gas tank
[27:56 - 28:02] something. How are you going to go anywhere and move forward if you don't
[28:02 - 28:05] have gas in your car?
[28:05 - 28:12] Same thing with progress. Same thing with progress. How are you going to make any
[28:12 - 28:17] progress and move forward in life if you don't have that gas to get you to where
[28:17 - 28:26] you need to be? Same principle. You can't get anywhere in life without the
[28:26 - 28:30] motivation being the gas to get you to where you want to be to be a better
[28:30 - 28:37] person. You want to be a better person. You've got to have that gas.
[28:37 - 28:45] What are y'all? Hello? Who is this?
[28:45 - 28:54] Dude, why don't you leave my family alone, dude? For real. Dude, you need to leave my
[28:54 - 29:01] family alone, for real. Leave my family alone, dude, for real. Leave them alone,
[29:01 - 29:12] dude. But as I was saying, as I was saying,
[29:12 - 29:15] unless you have any progress, unless you have
[29:15 - 29:19] any gas to get you to where you want to be,
[29:19 - 29:23] you're never going to get anywhere.
[29:24 - 29:30] And that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be a better version of myself.
[29:30 - 29:36] I'm trying to be a better me. In order to do that, I need that gas.
[29:36 - 29:43] I need that gas to be a better person. And that's what I'm trying to do.
[29:47 - 29:55] I'm trying to be a better person. I'm trying to make progress.
[29:55 - 30:03] So with that being said, I'll see you guys later.
[30:03 - 30:10] As I said, I am trying to be better and I want to do better.
[30:10 - 30:21] So let me do better, please.