2021-6-19 A VERY SPECIAL SURPRISE

[0:00 - 0:20] [Silence]
[0:20 - 0:25] Good morning, good morning, good morning everybody what is up, what is up, what is up?
[0:25 - 0:43] Um, given what happened yesterday, I do have a very special surprise for you guys man.
[0:43 - 0:54] First off in the background, you might notice something there. You guys might notice the judges gavel in the back.
[0:54 - 0:57] And there's a reason for that.
[0:57 - 1:02] I have a motherfucking burger boy to thank you for all this stuff I'm not sure you guys.
[1:02 - 1:09] First off dude, thank you so much for the rosary dude. I absolutely love this beautiful beautiful rosary man.
[1:09 - 1:17] 100% absolutely love that, thank you so much burger. 100% my man, love this.
[1:17 - 1:24] But this man got a hold of some very high end people.
[1:24 - 1:29] And first off I just want to say thank you so much for the Chromebook and the dope ass webcam, the boot.
[1:29 - 1:35] Fucking love the dope ass webcam and the dope Chromebook and it's an Acer too which is very good.
[1:35 - 1:40] Acer is a very good brand of Chromebook. I've used them before, they're very good.
[1:40 - 1:45] So if any of you guys are looking for a Chromebook, Acer, they're good to start off with.
[1:45 - 1:57] But, I did not realize this man was in contact with these people right here.
[1:57 - 2:10] But, to burger boy, I want to say thank you man because you got in contact with these people.
[2:10 - 2:28] And these people are cool enough to send out this right here man.
[2:28 - 2:36] With, with an official letter.
[2:36 - 2:40] I guarantee you this is going on by my motherfucking wall dude.
[2:40 - 2:47] 100% this is going on my wall.
[2:47 - 2:55] And inside is this right here.
[2:55 - 3:04] Which is the letter right here and it reads.
[3:04 - 3:06] It says,
[3:06 - 3:09] I'm trying to fold this thing back so I can read it here.
[3:09 - 3:24] It says, the reason was we were pleased to announce that we have had a chance to welcome this to our professional board of associates with the title of Honorary Associate for the Steam service to the art and entertainment industry man.
[3:24 - 3:32] And then it actually has the guy's legit signature down at the bottom too.
[3:32 - 3:36] John Haman and his people man.
[3:36 - 3:42] I just want to say thank you dude 100% because all I try to do is help people.
[3:42 - 3:49] That's all I've ever done you know because like I said, I've been bullied my whole life, I've been bashed on I've been attacked.
[3:49 - 3:55] And you know all I try to do is help people the best that I can that's all I try to do.
[3:55 - 4:07] So for y'all to take notice of that man, I want 110% thank you guys because there needs to be Jesus criminy dude.
[4:07 - 4:11] Hold up.
[4:11 - 4:17] Just my stuff for my for my fucking machines.
[4:17 - 4:26] But, you know, like I said, I try to step out of my way and help you. That's all I've ever tried to do.
[4:26 - 4:32] And like I said, you know, there needs to be more people out there like that in this world.
[4:32 - 4:39] There needs to be more people out there helping people who are being attacked and being bullied like myself.
[4:39 - 4:49] I had to get a CND on this youtuber master reports and put her to a stop.
[4:49 - 4:53] And that sucked, but it is what it is.
[4:53 - 5:02] But, you know, to John and the guys over there, man, I just want to say thank you on burger boy.
[5:02 - 5:08] You fucking rock my man straight the fuck up bro you fucking rock.
[5:08 - 5:12] So to honor that.
[5:12 - 5:26] I figure when I do something dope for you guys.
[5:26 - 5:52] I'm going to get you.
[5:52 - 6:02] This for anybody out there who's ever suffered through anything man.
[6:02 - 6:12] We are created to suffer wars and then by the time we say yeah.
[6:12 - 6:17] We don't say shit with all that we love.
[6:17 - 6:24] Let's go straight down the gun.
[6:24 - 6:29] Yeah, I can't take it anymore.
[6:29 - 6:32] Every damn feels like a war.
[6:32 - 6:38] The devil in the mirror screaming that my heart is fraught.
[6:38 - 6:41] I'm never gonna let you win.
[6:41 - 6:47] No, I will not surrender even if I start to fall.
[6:47 - 6:59] I swear to you, I'll rise again.
[6:59 - 7:30] Can't see illusions of a train of pride.
[7:30 - 7:49] The devil in the mirror screaming that my heart is fraught.
[7:49 - 8:18] Yeah.
[8:18 - 8:24] I can't take it anymore.
[8:24 - 8:27] Every damn feels like a war.
[8:27 - 8:33] The devil in the mirror screaming that my heart is fraught.
[8:33 - 8:36] I'm never gonna let you win.
[8:36 - 8:42] No, I will not surrender even if I start to fall.
[8:42 - 8:46] I swear to you, I'll rise again.
[8:46 - 8:52] The devil in the mirror screaming that my heart is fraught.
[8:52 - 8:55] I'm never gonna let you win.
[8:55 - 9:01] No, I will not surrender even if I start to fall.
[9:01 - 9:05] I swear to you, I'll rise again.
[9:05 - 9:28] To anyone out there, man, if you're watching this,
[9:28 - 9:31] if you are going through a hard time
[9:31 - 9:34] and you are going through the same things
[9:34 - 9:37] that I fucking went through,
[9:37 - 9:41] let me say right now, don't ever,
[9:41 - 9:43] you know what I mean?
[9:43 - 9:48] Don't you fucking dare ever give up
[9:48 - 9:51] because I am the living proof
[9:51 - 9:54] that you can get through whatever you're going through, man.
[9:54 - 9:56] Trust me, I know things are hard.
[9:56 - 9:59] Trust me, I get it, I've been there.
[9:59 - 10:02] Ask anyone here that knows me, I've been there.
[10:02 - 10:07] I've gone through a lot more hardships than most deserve.
[10:07 - 10:11] Hell, take last night, for example,
[10:11 - 10:16] when one of my closest friends turned his back on me
[10:16 - 10:33] and walked away.
[10:33 - 10:39] But you know what?
[10:39 - 10:52] Oh, really, Tom? Someone obviously knows me.
[10:52 - 11:01] If nobody knows me, Tom, then why'd I get this?
[11:01 - 11:08] At least somebody knows me and has heard of what I can do.
[11:08 - 11:12] And this right here, let me tell you right now, man,
[11:12 - 11:17] this and that plaque back there that you guys have seen before,
[11:17 - 11:22] this and that record plaque mean more to me
[11:22 - 11:25] than any fucking YouTube play button
[11:25 - 11:30] I could ever get my hands on, bro.
[11:30 - 11:32] I mean that.
[11:32 - 11:38] This and that plaque mean more to me
[11:38 - 11:40] than anything in the world
[11:40 - 11:43] because this right here shows hard work.
[11:43 - 11:47] This right here shows that I stand up for the week
[11:47 - 11:53] and that plaque back there for my music shows my hard work.
[11:53 - 12:07] I'm going to step away for a minute.
[12:07 - 12:22] I want you guys to bear witness to this.
[12:22 - 12:35] You guys see that wall back there, right?
[12:35 - 12:59] You all see that wall right here where that empty spot is.
[12:59 - 13:13] Anybody can get it to go on there.
[13:13 - 13:16] I'll have to figure something out.
[13:16 - 13:27] But right here is where it's going to sit.
[13:27 - 13:39] Right there on this wall is where this thing is going to sit.
[13:39 - 14:05] I'll figure something out.
[14:05 - 14:12] One of you.
[14:12 - 14:16] Do what?
[14:16 - 14:31] Do check out the stream and you'll see that.
[14:31 - 14:33] And this one right here,
[14:33 - 15:02] this song.
[15:02 - 15:17] This song right here.
[15:17 - 15:23] It's for anyone out there that feels like they're lost.
[15:23 - 15:26] That feels like they don't belong.
[15:26 - 15:31] That feels like they're on the edge just for you.
[15:31 - 15:36] They're running in around me, what I thought was solid ground.
[15:36 - 15:42] I tried to look the other way, but I couldn't turn around.
[15:42 - 15:48] It's okay for you to hate me for all the things I've done.
[15:48 - 15:55] I've made a few mistakes, but I'm not the only one.
[15:55 - 16:00] Stay away from the ledge, don't call me down.
[16:00 - 16:06] I could never be what you want me to.
[16:06 - 16:12] You pull me under, just to save yourself.
[16:12 - 16:17] You will never see what's inside of me.
[16:17 - 16:28] I'll pull you under just to save myself.
[16:28 - 16:33] Are there any questions or not much I can take?
[16:33 - 16:36] You feel free to meet your bullshit.
[16:36 - 16:39] Go for your break.
[16:39 - 16:42] Is there anybody out there?
[16:42 - 16:45] Is there anyone who cares?
[16:45 - 16:52] Is there anybody listening to hear my final prayer?
[16:52 - 16:57] Stay away from the ledge, don't call me down.
[16:57 - 17:03] I could never be what you want me to.
[17:03 - 17:08] You pull me under just to save yourself.
[17:08 - 17:14] You will never see what's inside of me.
[17:14 - 17:20] I'll pull you under just to save myself.
[17:20 - 17:26] It's getting in around me.
[17:26 - 17:31] It's doing awesome work.
[17:31 - 17:36] It's going to be down around me.
[17:36 - 17:48] You will never be what you want me to.
[17:48 - 17:51] You pull me under.
[17:51 - 17:54] I'll pull you under.
[17:54 - 18:28] I'll pull you under just to save yourself.
[18:28 - 18:36] I will never be what you want me to.
[18:36 - 18:42] You pull me under just to save yourself.
[18:42 - 18:47] You will never see what's inside of me.
[18:47 - 18:51] I'll pull you under just to save yourself.
[18:51 - 18:57] You will never see what's inside of me.
[18:57 - 19:03] I'll pull you under just to save myself.
[19:03 - 19:19] And all you fucking haters that want to laugh can't suck it.
[19:19 - 19:24] Well, why suck it?
[19:24 - 19:30] This is going out to anyone out there that suffers through the same shit that I suffer through,
[19:30 - 19:34] that goes through the pain that I go through.
[19:34 - 19:45] There is nothing there to give.
[19:45 - 19:49] I am on the perfect end.
[19:49 - 20:20] I will never be what you want me to.
[20:20 - 20:25] I can feel it crawl beneath my skin.
[20:25 - 20:32] Dear agony, just let go of me.
[20:32 - 20:36] It's the toughest road there.
[20:36 - 20:40] There ain't no way it's gotta be.
[20:40 - 20:44] Dear agony.
[20:44 - 20:57] Suddenly the lights go out.
[20:57 - 21:01] Train me there, but let me down.
[21:01 - 21:05] I will fight for one last breath.
[21:05 - 21:09] I will fight until the end.
[21:09 - 21:17] And I will fight with the enemy within.
[21:17 - 21:23] And I will make them strong and gain one's skin.
[21:23 - 21:30] Dear agony, just let go of me.
[21:30 - 21:34] It's the toughest road.
[21:34 - 21:38] There's no way it's gotta be.
[21:38 - 21:41] Don't care about me.
[21:41 - 21:45] Please don't stand on me.
[21:45 - 21:49] And don't worry.
[21:49 - 21:53] This is the way it's gotta be.
[21:53 - 21:59] Dear agony.
[21:59 - 22:07] Leave me alone, just let me go.
[22:07 - 22:14] 'Cause the red cloud, the skies will burn.
[22:14 - 22:18] Don't miss out.
[22:18 - 22:25] Leave me alone, just say no, bro.
[22:25 - 22:31] There's nothing else.
[22:31 - 22:38] Somewhere far beyond the old world.
[22:38 - 22:43] I do nothing anymore.
[22:43 - 22:50] Dear agony, just let go of me.
[22:50 - 22:54] It's the toughest road.
[22:54 - 22:58] There's no way it's gotta be.
[22:58 - 23:02] You bury me.
[23:02 - 23:06] Please don't stand on me.
[23:06 - 23:09] I'm so sorry.
[23:09 - 23:14] There's no way it's gotta be.
[23:14 - 23:21] Dear agony.
[23:21 - 23:38] I do nothing anymore.
[23:38 - 23:42] And I see a lot of y'all motherfuckers in the comments just sitting there laughing,
[23:42 - 23:48] and I find it funny 'cause y'all ain't out here doing like I'm trying to do.
[23:48 - 23:54] I'm actually out here, not only trying to make a living doing what I do,
[23:54 - 23:58] but I'm doing my part as a human being and trying to help people.
[23:58 - 24:02] Trying to help people stay away from people like y'all that want to attack
[24:02 - 24:08] and judge and bully and criticize and do all this dumb shit.
[24:09 - 24:11] [silence]
[24:11 - 24:12] [coughing]
[24:12 - 24:34] [silence]
[24:34 - 24:38] [knocking]
[24:38 - 24:42] People will tell you, why don't you go get some help?
[24:42 - 24:45] Take some meds.
[24:45 - 24:47] I don't know.
[24:47 - 24:49] I think she might be at work.
[24:49 - 24:51] Problems.
[24:51 - 24:53] Some people can never understand.
[24:53 - 24:56] For all y'all that suffer from suicidal detentions like I do,
[24:56 - 24:58] this is for y'all, man.
[24:58 - 25:01] I've been this to run the world in a quiet place.
[25:01 - 25:03] Feels like I might be wired differently, I can't escape.
[25:03 - 25:06] The love of hurting all the pain, can you feel my rage?
[25:06 - 25:09] Growing up as a bully, they consider me in best case.
[25:09 - 25:12] But they've changed the past, done and over with.
[25:12 - 25:14] Why I keep on dwelling on it?
[25:14 - 25:15] Why my thoughts so cancerous?
[25:15 - 25:17] Why my best friend have to die?
[25:17 - 25:18] God, can you please answer this?
[25:18 - 25:21] Why am I still acting as a no more or less religious?
[25:21 - 25:24] Maybe I'm a criminal, take a shot and see in trouble.
[25:24 - 25:26] You can hear my stomach grow more like it's time.
[25:26 - 25:28] You never said a lie, I'm sorry for the struggle.
[25:28 - 25:31] I'm sorry for the trouble, doctor.
[25:31 - 25:33] That's how I'm supposed to talk.
[25:33 - 25:35] If I talk to you, please don't believe I would be dead.
[25:35 - 25:37] I ain't mad, he saved my lives yet.
[25:37 - 25:40] Sometimes I forget that my demons can't complain.
[25:40 - 25:41] I'm hanging by a thread.
[25:41 - 25:44] Maybe I should pull this trigger and just lay my mind to rest.
[25:44 - 25:46] Yeah, lost in the music.
[25:46 - 25:49] It's therapeutic, better hanging on.
[25:49 - 25:52] I don't know if I can do this.
[25:52 - 25:53] Would I rise?
[25:53 - 25:54] Would I fall?
[25:54 - 25:55] Would I rise?
[25:55 - 25:56] Would I fall?
[25:56 - 25:58] I don't know anymore.
[25:58 - 26:01] I left my reflection and the verses came in.
[26:01 - 26:03] Wish that I was dreaming.
[26:03 - 26:04] Would I rise?
[26:04 - 26:05] Would I fall?
[26:05 - 26:06] Would I rise?
[26:06 - 26:07] Would I fall?
[26:07 - 26:09] I don't know anymore.
[26:09 - 26:11] I know your life and your memories.
[26:11 - 26:13] I can see it in your eyes.
[26:13 - 26:15] You can't even stand yourself.
[26:15 - 26:16] Dance on you.
[26:16 - 26:17] So you go around a little,
[26:17 - 26:21] toss and turn and they're not debating if it even helps.
[26:21 - 26:22] You quit the partying.
[26:22 - 26:23] Quit the drugs.
[26:23 - 26:24] Quit the reaper.
[26:24 - 26:25] And now you think it's problem solved.
[26:25 - 26:27] Could you change the people?
[26:27 - 26:28] You wake up miserable.
[26:28 - 26:29] It's clear you're feeding off an eagle.
[26:29 - 26:32] Take my hand at nine and I can promise you'll be always peaceful.
[26:32 - 26:35] One among my family, I can leave them in a disarray.
[26:35 - 26:37] Give a time and they'll move on.
[26:37 - 26:38] Forget about you anyway.
[26:38 - 26:41] Tell them I'm paying to me if I die, I'm made on them.
[26:41 - 26:43] Tell another source, do not worry.
[26:43 - 26:45] They will love them and it's better if you go.
[26:45 - 26:48] Do not let like you with any friends ever exist.
[26:48 - 26:49] This is it.
[26:49 - 26:51] When you take my hand, voice is it.
[26:51 - 26:52] And now you can't mind them.
[26:52 - 26:54] This is how you will show me on the darker side of the world.
[26:54 - 26:56] When you take my hand, voice is it.
[26:56 - 26:58] And now you can't mind them.
[26:58 - 27:00] This is how you will show me on the darker side through the dream.
[27:00 - 27:01] This is it.
[27:01 - 27:02] Yeah.
[27:02 - 27:03] Tell them music.
[27:03 - 27:04] This is therapeutic.
[27:04 - 27:05] And hanging on.
[27:05 - 27:06] I don't know if I can do this.
[27:06 - 27:08] When I rise, when I fall.
[27:08 - 27:09] When I know, when I move.
[27:09 - 27:10] Look at my reflection.
[27:10 - 27:11] Ain't no versus being, man.
[27:11 - 27:12] Wishing I was dreaming.
[27:12 - 27:14] When I rise, when I fall.
[27:14 - 27:15] I don't know anymore.
[27:15 - 27:16] I feel like giving up, though.
[27:16 - 27:18] When I rise, when I fall.
[27:18 - 27:19] I don't know anymore.
[27:19 - 27:21] When I rise, when I fall.
[27:22 - 27:24] I feel like giving up, though.
[27:24 - 27:27] Some things I can't explain, though.
[27:27 - 27:30] I feel like giving up, though.
[27:30 - 27:33] Some things I can't explain, though.
[27:33 - 27:36] When I rise, when I fall.
[27:36 - 27:39] I don't know anymore.
[27:39 - 27:42] When I rise, when I fall.
[27:42 - 27:45] I don't know anymore.
[27:49 - 27:51] And something that a lot of y'all shit talkers
[27:51 - 27:53] that are in the comments.
[27:53 - 27:58] Like this Jesus dude right here.
[27:58 - 28:00] Let me explain something, man.
[28:00 - 28:03] And this is something that I know very much.
[28:03 - 28:07] My boy, Ignamatic, here, can actually attest to.
[28:07 - 28:11] My boy, Ignamatic, can actually verify this.
[28:11 - 28:18] See, unlike Marty and y'all that want to troll and attack,
[28:18 - 28:21] I do live by a very old code.
[28:21 - 28:27] I do live by a very, very old school code,
[28:27 - 28:29] known as the Bushido,
[28:29 - 28:34] which is a very, very old school,
[28:34 - 28:38] traditional Japanese way of living.
[28:38 - 28:41] See, in the day of the samurai,
[28:45 - 28:50] there were four pillars that the way of the samurai was built upon.
[28:50 - 28:55] Honor, integrity, respect, and selfless service.
[28:55 - 28:59] All four of which I do every day.
[28:59 - 29:04] All of which I do every day.
[29:04 - 29:09] I go out and I show selfless service by being on here,
[29:09 - 29:10] trying to help people,
[29:10 - 29:13] trying to show people that they're not alone
[29:13 - 29:16] with whatever they're going through.
[29:16 - 29:22] And I honor the fallen and those that came before me.
[29:22 - 29:26] And I respect everyone that respects me.
[29:26 - 29:31] And I hold integrity every day in everything that I do.
[29:41 - 29:48] So I do live those four pillars that the way of the Bushido was built upon.
[29:48 - 29:51] Every day I live that shit.
[29:51 - 29:55] It don't matter if I'm out there in the streets helping somebody.
[29:55 - 30:00] It don't matter if I'm here on YouTube helping somebody.
[30:00 - 30:03] At least I'm doing something.
[30:03 - 30:07] At least I'm here doing what I can.
[30:07 - 30:14] At least I'm here doing what y'all pussy ass trolls ain't got the goddamn balls to do.
[30:14 - 30:17] At least I'm out here trying to fucking help people.
[30:17 - 30:20] I'm out here trying to do what I can.
[30:20 - 30:33] So all y'all little pussies that want to talk shit,
[30:33 - 30:37] come at me when you've done something.
[30:37 - 30:43] Come at me when you get a fan that messages you saying that you saved their life.
[30:43 - 30:48] Come at me when you have people DMing you saying how awesome you are,
[30:48 - 30:52] saying how good of a person you really are.
[30:52 - 30:54] Come at me then, pussy.
[30:54 - 31:11] Now, for those of you just now joining, I'll show you the surprise.
[31:11 - 31:16] First off, camera and cord.
[31:16 - 31:20] But first off, shot the burger boy for the dope ass brand new Chromebook,
[31:20 - 31:23] which I will be using.
[31:23 - 31:34] But the main thing in the Chromebook is this.
[31:34 - 31:41] With an official letter from this company.
[31:41 - 31:49] Signed off by the people that run this company themselves.
[31:49 - 32:04] Matter of fact, for those of you that don't know, let me read off this letter to you.
[32:05 - 32:12] We are pleased to announce that we have added Cheers Wilkins to our website.