2021-5-30 why ive been so depressed since the Kate Scandal

[0:00 - 0:25] [Silence]
[0:25 - 0:42] What up y'all? For the past several months since the Kate scandal, and since the Masshole
[0:42 - 0:50] Reports scandal, I've been getting asked every day, am I okay? You don't seem like yourself.
[0:50 - 1:00] Are you okay? What's wrong? And I'll tell you guys straight up that I'm not okay.
[1:05 - 1:22] Even though I say that I'm okay, I'm really not. Every day since the Masshole Reports scandal,
[1:24 - 1:35] I have been very fucking depressed and for a good reason. See, a lot of people think that I want
[1:35 - 1:43] to do music for the rest of my life. No. I do music because I'm basically being left with no
[1:43 - 1:50] choice but to do so. It's not that I want to, it's that I'm being left with no choice but to do
[1:50 - 2:01] that and to do my artwork. Do you see? I was born and raised as an athlete.
[2:01 - 2:10] I grew up playing tee ball and literally baseball and played baseball throughout high school
[2:10 - 2:16] and did fairly well. We actually did really well in high school and then budget cuts hit
[2:17 - 2:27] and the team got cut. And I knew my whole life I was meant to compete. I knew my whole life I
[2:27 - 2:42] was meant to be an athlete. So what did I do? I decided to go looking and I found the F1 2020
[2:42 - 2:52] series and began to compete at the beginning of this year. And I took home four of the fucking
[2:52 - 3:02] biggest wins of my life. I took four major fucking wins and had a really good sponsorship
[3:02 - 3:14] with Rogue Energy because I was bringing in wins. You can ask Violet. I actually had a
[3:14 - 3:23] legitimate sponsorship with Rogue Energy. I was bringing in win after win back to back.
[3:23 - 3:28] Week in and week out I was competing. I was doing what I love to do.
[3:28 - 3:41] And you know I was having fun. I was competing and doing what I love to do as an athlete.
[3:41 - 3:49] But then what happened? Kate came in and fucked all that up.
[3:49 - 3:58] Because of Kate I now no longer have a team to race for. Like do you guys not realize
[3:58 - 4:07] that if Kate hadn't stepped in do you guys realize how close I was to actually making it big
[4:07 - 4:18] competing on a professional level? I was this fucking close. This close. I actually had major
[4:18 - 4:26] brands like Ferrari and McLaren actually looking at me and watching me. I was this close from
[4:26 - 4:34] going fucking pro. This fucking close. But because of Kate and what she did all that went out the
[4:34 - 4:48] fucking window. All we got into the fucking scandal that she I'm not she got me caught up in.
[4:48 - 4:54] I lost my team. I lost my sponsorship. I lost everything.
[4:55 - 5:00] All because of fucking Kate. I lost everything good I had going for me.
[5:00 - 5:14] Everything good I had going for me I fucking lost.
[5:14 - 5:24] I was doing so good. I was on the right track. I was I was competing every fucking week.
[5:25 - 5:33] I was working hard. I was doing what I love to do as a fucking athlete.
[5:33 - 5:48] And then a week after the case shit happened.
[5:50 - 5:55] A week after that. I didn't tell anybody this because it wasn't worth mentioning.
[5:55 - 6:08] But a week after I had gotten a letter in the mail from my fucking sponsor that I was with.
[6:16 - 6:28] And I had also applied for a major sponsor. Yes you do CIA.
[6:28 - 6:39] You know I had a major fucking sponsor looking at me and I could have gone pro.
[6:41 - 6:47] But a week after the whole case shit I got a letter in the mail that I was so upset with
[6:47 - 6:55] that I could play a tour up and destroy because I was so hurt. I was so angry and so upset.
[6:55 - 7:06] And it was a rejection letter from a fucking pro league offering me a shot to go pro.
[7:09 - 7:13] They were actually offering me a legitimate shot to go professional
[7:13 - 7:17] doing F1 competitions through F1 2020.
[7:17 - 7:28] But because of Kate I lost all of that.
[7:28 - 7:34] Because of Kate I lost a lot of shit.
[7:37 - 7:42] Why do you think I've been so fucking depressed? Because I'm not doing the shit that I love to
[7:42 - 7:56] fucking do. You can't even ask Marty. You can ask Violet. I had a legitimate sponsor with rogue
[7:56 - 8:03] energy. A legitimate fucking sponsor. Ask Violet. Ask Music Biz Marty. They will both
[8:03 - 8:08] tell you the same damn thing. I had a legitimate sponsor. I was doing good for myself.
[8:08 - 8:24] And then what happened? Everything I busted my ass on since I was 13. Out the window in a matter
[8:24 - 8:39] of seconds. Everything I had worked so hard to achieve since I was a kid. Since I was 13 years
[8:39 - 9:03] old. Out the fucking window in a matter of fucking minutes. And trust me Brandy I wish it was that
[9:03 - 9:14] easy. I really do. I wish it was that easy. But it's not as easy as you think it is. It's really not.
[9:14 - 9:27] I want to tell you two of the biggest wins of my F1 career came in January at the beginning of this
[9:27 - 9:36] year. Two of my biggest wins were on birthdays. The first one was on my mom's birthday or no the
[9:36 - 9:44] first one was on my brother's birthday on the 23rd. The 23rd of January I took my first major win.
[9:44 - 9:50] And then on January 31st on my mom's birthday I took another win.
[9:53 - 9:58] Which are two of the most important wins in my fucking career.
[9:58 - 10:07] Two of the most important wins in my life.
[10:07 - 10:16] And I wanted to do that shit for the rest of my life. I want to compete. I want to be out there
[10:16 - 10:24] and doing shit. I want to get sponsorships. I want to compete. I want to race. I want to do sports
[10:24 - 10:32] again. But let me ask y'all fucking idiotic trolls this. How am I supposed to compete and do what I
[10:32 - 10:48] fucking love to do. If y'all stupid asses are sitting here trolling me make me look like fucking shit.
[11:02 - 11:05] Two of my biggest wins of my life
[11:05 - 11:13] were on my brother's birthday and on my mom's birthday.
[11:13 - 11:19] Why do you think the numbers 23 and 31 are so important to me?
[11:19 - 11:24] Because those are my brothers and my mom's birthdays.
[11:24 - 11:31] Why do you think whenever I compete in the fours of series or whenever I did
[11:31 - 11:38] why do you think I always rocked the number 23 because that was my brother's birthday January
[11:38 - 11:45] 23rd or why do you think I rocked the number 31 because it was my mom's birthday.
[11:59 - 12:03] And like I said you can ask both Marty and Violet they'll both tell you the same damn thing.
[12:03 - 12:10] Marty and Violet will both tell you guys the same goddamn thing
[12:10 - 12:18] that I have taken wins under my belt and actually was sponsored by Rogue Energy.
[12:18 - 12:23] I was actually sponsored by Rogue Energy for a good while.
[12:27 - 12:35] And then what happened? It all got shut down all because of Kate. I lost everything
[12:35 - 12:40] that I've worked so hard for since I was a kid.
[12:40 - 12:45] All I've ever wanted to do since I was a kid
[12:45 - 12:54] is do sports and compete. Whether that be in baseball, whether that be in motocross,
[12:54 - 13:01] tennis, whatever. Whether that be behind the wheel and doing e-sports, whatever it may have been.
[13:01 - 13:10] That's all I've ever wanted to do since I was a kid.
[13:10 - 13:19] And for y'all trolls to go around and make me look like such shit
[13:22 - 13:33] that these sponsors and these actual teams don't want anything to do with me. Where's that fair to me?
[13:33 - 13:44] Where's that fair to my family? Do y'all not realize if y'all would just leave me the fuck
[13:44 - 13:51] alone and quit making these fuck actually be doing something right now? I would actually
[13:51 - 13:58] be doing something with my life instead of sitting here on a computer screen. Do y'all not realize that?
[13:58 - 14:16] I had a fucking shot. A very real chance at doing something. I had a very real shot at doing
[14:16 - 14:26] something and then what happened? Kate comes into the picture and fucks everything up for me.
[14:26 - 14:35] Why do you think I haven't been racing? Why do you think I haven't been competing?
[14:35 - 14:40] Let me tell you today's the first day in a long fucking time.
[14:42 - 14:46] Today's the first day in a long time that I've actually gotten behind the wheel
[14:46 - 14:50] on live and actually competed with friends.
[14:50 - 15:02] The fact that I lost major sponsorships because of you trolls and the fucking reputation that
[15:02 - 15:13] you gave me. Where's that fair? Where's that fair that I lose everything I had? I had a fucking
[15:13 - 15:27] sponsor. I was making money. I was doing good. But then here y'all come and you fucking ruin shit.
[15:31 - 15:38] Like I said, I don't want to be in the music scene because of how fucked up it is right now.
[15:38 - 15:47] The music scene right now is trash because all these major artists are getting fucking signed
[15:47 - 15:54] who aren't even fucking talented. All these shitty ass fucking mobile rappers
[15:54 - 16:01] that keep their rap a fucking lyric are getting fucking signed. All because of how they fucking
[16:01 - 16:11] look. All because they look like a fucking star. Why do you think I want nothing to do with it?
[16:11 - 16:19] But the only reason why I'm doing it while I'm doing music
[16:19 - 16:28] is because of the fact that I have no fucking option. Y'all trolls along with my soul reports
[16:28 - 16:34] had to have fucked up my career for competing. Y'all done fucked up my career as an athlete
[16:34 - 16:39] so what do I have left? My artwork and my fucking music.
[16:48 - 16:49] That's all I have left.
[16:49 - 17:04] I have been busting my ass since I was 17 years old. Well 13 years old is when I very first started.
[17:04 - 17:09] When I was 13 years old that's when I first discovered my love
[17:09 - 17:15] for doing sports. That's when I discovered my true passion for wanting to compete.
[17:16 - 17:22] And then I went on to turn 17 after practicing my whole life. You know what I did?
[17:22 - 17:32] I broke the Neversbeat Underground 2 record on Palm Hill and then from there I decided to look
[17:32 - 17:44] into more competitive stuff. And I kept competing day in and day out day in and day out doing
[17:44 - 17:51] little things here and there. Going over to friends houses and competing and this and that.
[17:51 - 17:59] And then when 2018 rolled around and I got my Xbox One that I have now that's when I was able
[17:59 - 18:05] to take my skill to the next level. That's when I was really able to harness what I'm able to do now.
[18:08 - 18:14] Changing my whole career stand from 13 up to where I'm at now.
[18:14 - 18:25] Y'all don't understand how many sleepless hours I have put in to wanting to compete.
[18:25 - 18:31] Every day. That's all I want.
[18:33 - 18:39] I want to be able to get those sponsors and make that real money from my family and get real
[18:39 - 18:53] companies looking at me compete in real competitions. You can even ask music. You can even ask Marty.
[18:53 - 19:00] Marty himself can tell you that at the beginning of this year I took several fucking wins.
[19:02 - 19:10] I took major wins. I get some of the fastest people in the world and won.
[19:10 - 19:19] Some of the fastest fucking competitors in the world I competed against on F1 2020 and fucking won.
[19:19 - 19:26] That right there should say something.
[19:26 - 19:40] You know, I hope y'all motherfuckers are proud of yourselves.
[19:40 - 19:43] All y'all bitch ass trolls. I hope you're fucking happy.
[19:55 - 19:59] And Suzuka Circuit was my first win. That was my first win.
[19:59 - 20:07] I'm surprised you didn't remember what track it was, Marty. I'm honestly surprised.
[20:07 - 20:13] That was literally my first win of the year.
[20:13 - 20:22] But like I said, man, if y'all trolls would leave me alone
[20:23 - 20:26] and quit coming after me and saying now this, saying now that,
[20:26 - 20:34] saying like, oh, you're trash. Oh, this is trash. Oh, you're garbage. Oh, you'll never get anywhere.
[20:34 - 20:42] Do it up. You'll never get anywhere. And because y'all feel like you have that right to make me
[20:42 - 20:50] look bad, you tend to do it. And that's not fair. That's not fair that I should have to suffer
[20:50 - 20:58] with a bad reputation and lose every fucking sponsor I've had. I had several sponsors.
[20:58 - 21:06] That one of them, several of them, which were looking at me, but my main one was Rogue Energy.
[21:06 - 21:10] And they dropped me because of my bad reputation
[21:10 - 21:18] because they don't want to be associated with someone with a bad rep. And I don't blame them.
[21:18 - 21:30] I mean, who would want to be associated with something like that? I don't fault them for that.
[21:30 - 21:39] But what I do fault you trolls for is for me losing all of that stuff.
[21:39 - 21:55] I had worked so fucking hard, so hard to get. And then what happened? In a matter of fucking
[21:55 - 22:07] mere seconds, I lose everything. Everything I had worked so hard to build up, practicing live,
[22:08 - 22:16] day in and day out on the live streams, busting my ass, training, working hard,
[22:16 - 22:28] practicing, doing what I have to do. Relentless training, hours of endless seat time, working hard.
[22:28 - 22:38] And what happened? All that thrown out the window in a matter of fucking minutes.
[22:38 - 22:56] And now I'm left with only two options. Either making a music as a professional artist,
[22:56 - 23:02] or make it as a regular artist and sell art merch of my own design.
[23:02 - 23:16] Those are literally the only two options that I have left.
[23:16 - 23:28] Do I enjoy doing artwork? Yes. Do I enjoy doing music? Yeah. I enjoy doing music.
[23:28 - 23:37] I just hate where the industry's at right now. I just hate seeing where the fucking industry's at
[23:37 - 23:43] and how it's signing garbage artists. But I do still enjoy creating music.
[23:43 - 23:52] But what I love more than anything else is competing. I love being an athlete. I love
[23:52 - 24:06] competition because that's what I grew up doing. I grew up as an athlete. I grew up
[24:06 - 24:11] playing tee ball and literally baseball as a kid and played a little bit of baseball in high school.
[24:20 - 24:26] So being an athlete is what I love above all else. Like I said, I do enjoy doing music
[24:26 - 24:32] and I do enjoy doing my artwork and making dope ass merch for you guys. I love that.
[24:32 - 24:35] There's no doubt about it. I fucking love doing that.
[24:36 - 24:50] But my true passion, my true skill lies behind the fucking wheel.
[24:50 - 25:02] My true passion lies behind me competing.
[25:02 - 25:12] And I know a lot of y'all are gonna sit there and fucking laugh or whatever and that's fine.
[25:12 - 25:19] That's fine. I don't care if you fucking laugh at me.
[25:19 - 25:26] But the fact of the matter is I lost major sponsors because of you fucking trolls.
[25:31 - 25:38] I was this fucking close, this close from a major breakthrough of going pro.
[25:38 - 25:44] I was this fucking close. I actually had legitimate major companies looking at me.
[25:44 - 25:53] I had major brands looking at me. I was this fucking close.
[25:56 - 26:02] But then what happened? Kate came in with that fucking scandal and fucked all that up.
[26:02 - 26:14] Now those major companies that were looking at me don't want anything to do with me.
[26:14 - 26:25] And that's not fair to me. And honestly, it sure as hell ain't fair to my family
[26:26 - 26:32] that I lose out on all that. Because let me tell you, man, what y'all don't see is this.
[26:32 - 26:38] You can ask my mom, you can ask Ed, you can ask anyone that knows me.
[26:38 - 26:46] See, while y'all were sleeping, you want to know what I was doing during those times?
[26:46 - 26:50] While y'all motherfuckers were sleeping, I was up all night training.
[26:52 - 26:56] While y'all were sitting there playing with your goddamn dicks watching porn all day,
[26:56 - 27:02] you know what I was doing? I was on the track practicing and training. While y'all were sitting
[27:02 - 27:07] there eating dinner, I was sitting here eating dinner and practicing and busting my ass.
[27:07 - 27:15] While y'all were sitting there making fun of me, I was taking wins.
[27:20 - 27:23] I was studying, I was practicing and doing what I love.
[27:23 - 27:41] But now because of this troll shit, I lost everything I've worked my ass off for.
[27:41 - 27:48] Everything I had worked so hard to build is now gone.
[27:48 - 27:55] And I know a lot of people say, "Oh, you'll get it back." And I'm sure I will.
[27:55 - 27:59] But I'm going to have to work twice as hard.
[27:59 - 28:08] See, getting a sponsor isn't as easy as people think. You have to earn that shit.
[28:13 - 28:19] Getting a legitimate sponsor that will pay you is very hard.
[28:19 - 28:26] And I've worked my ass off for those sponsors that I did have.
[28:26 - 28:39] I just wish y'all trolls knew how fucked up you made things. Now because of y'all,
[28:39 - 28:46] I have to rely on my artwork and my fucking music in hopes that a legitimate label will
[28:46 - 28:54] actually take me on and not be some bullshit label. I have to sit here and put out my artwork
[28:54 - 28:58] and hope and pray to God that Kate doesn't get it shut down again.
[29:03 - 29:10] Do you have any idea how fucking scary that is for me, especially with my artwork?
[29:10 - 29:14] I literally am taking a fucking risk with my fucking artwork.
[29:14 - 29:28] I put my artwork out and I'm constantly hoping and praying to God
[29:28 - 29:34] that that bitch or some troll doesn't report my shit on some false crap and have it taken down.
[29:34 - 29:38] Which is what happened with Kate.
[29:38 - 29:44] It seems like every time I take a step forward,
[29:44 - 29:49] y'all motherfuckers want to pull me back and put me back at square one.
[29:49 - 29:53] It's like y'all don't want to see me succeed.
[29:53 - 30:16] Y'all sit there and say, "Oh, he's delusional. You're delusional. No, the fuck I'm not."
[30:22 - 30:27] I'm not delusional. Y'all motherfuckers are stupid and blind as fuck.
[30:27 - 30:31] Like I said, you want proof of the shit that I've done?
[30:31 - 30:39] Ask Violet. Ask Marty. They know what I'm about. They know the things I've done.
[30:39 - 30:43] And they can actually back up the things that I have,
[30:43 - 30:45] that I've said I've done, that I actually have done.
[30:45 - 30:48] They can back all that shit up.
[30:48 - 31:14] [silence]
[31:14 - 31:15] I'm busting my eyes.
[31:15 - 31:19] [silence]
[31:19 - 31:19] So hard.
[31:19 - 31:26] [silence]
[31:26 - 31:32] And I'll be honest, I'm tired of being fucked over. I'm tired of being stepped on.
[31:32 - 31:34] [silence]
[31:34 - 31:40] I'm tired of losing sponsors. I'm tired of my shit getting shut down.
[31:40 - 31:46] And quite honestly, I'm sick and tired of these labels not taking me on and giving me a chance,
[31:46 - 31:49] all because y'all stupid fucks want to give me a bad reputation.
[31:49 - 31:55] [silence]
[31:55 - 31:59] Where is that fair to me that I lose out on the things that I love to do?
[31:59 - 32:04] Where is that fair to me that I lose out on opportunities?
[32:04 - 32:11] [silence]
[32:11 - 32:16] I bust my ass for this shit day in and day out, day in and day out.
[32:16 - 32:17] [silence]
[32:17 - 32:21] While y'all motherfuckers are sleeping at night, you know what I'm doing?
[32:21 - 32:25] I'm up practicing on the track. I'm up working on art work.
[32:25 - 32:31] I'm up working on the merch shop. I'm up working on music.
[32:31 - 32:37] I'm up doing shit. I'm up writing lyrics. I don't fucking sleep.
[32:37 - 32:43] And what I do is very fucking little. I sleep maybe one to two hours a night.
[32:43 - 33:00] [silence]
[33:00 - 33:06] I sleep maybe one to two hours a night. The rest of the time, I'm up busting my fucking ass.
[33:06 - 33:09] [silence]
[33:09 - 33:13] The rest of the time, I'm up working hard. The rest of the time,
[33:13 - 33:15] I'm up doing shit that I have to fucking do.
[33:15 - 33:17] [silence]
[33:17 - 33:21] Doing shit that have y'all motherfucking trolls and got the goddamn balls to do.
[33:21 - 33:23] [silence]
[33:23 - 33:28] And if that doesn't show hard work, then what the fuck does?
[33:28 - 33:31] [silence]
[33:31 - 33:33] So this is a warning to all you fucking trolls.
[33:33 - 33:35] [silence]
[33:35 - 33:40] This is a warning to every fucking troll out there that thinks they're gonna be a smart ass.
[33:40 - 33:40] [silence]
[33:40 - 33:46] Stay the fuck out of my way. And let me do the shit that I need to do.
[33:46 - 33:49] [silence]
[33:49 - 33:54] So that I can make money from my family so that I can do the things I need to do.
[33:54 - 33:55] [silence]
[33:55 - 34:01] So fair warning, stay the fuck out of my way or I'm coming guns blazing after
[34:01 - 34:07] every one of y'all motherfuckers. And that ain't no fucking joke.
[34:07 - 34:11] [silence]
[34:11 - 34:12] That's fucking facts.
[34:12 - 34:20] [silence]
[34:20 - 34:25] I have no fucking time for trolls. And the only two things I have time for
[34:25 - 34:31] are success and money. Along with friends and family.
[34:31 - 34:35] Those are the only four things I have time for.
[34:35 - 34:39] Friends, family, money, and success. That's it.
[34:39 - 34:42] [silence]
[34:42 - 34:44] Those are the only four things I have time for.
[34:44 - 34:52] My friends, my family, success, and making a living for myself.
[34:52 - 34:54] Those are the only two things I have fucking time for.
[34:54 - 34:58] I don't have time for this childish fucking nonsense.
[34:58 - 35:02] I don't have time for this bullshit childish troll crap.
[35:02 - 35:12] [silence]
[35:12 - 35:15] Well dude, that goes hand in hand with my money and success.
[35:15 - 35:17] All that is tied into that.
[35:17 - 35:29] [silence]
[35:29 - 35:31] All right, so make that five things.
[35:31 - 35:34] The only five things I have time for are my job,
[35:34 - 35:37] which is being on here on YouTube and hanging out with you guys.
[35:37 - 35:41] My friends, my family, and money and success.
[35:41 - 35:43] Those are the only things I have time for, bro.
[35:43 - 35:58] [silence]
[35:58 - 36:01] Matter of fact, this song right here I'm about to do for you guys
[36:01 - 36:04] shows how fucking hard I work.
[36:04 - 36:08] This song right here is actually my fucking theme right here.
[36:08 - 36:36] [music]
[36:36 - 36:39] You ready?
[36:39 - 36:40] Let's go.
[36:40 - 36:44] [music]
[36:44 - 36:50] Yeah, for those of you that I know won't know all about,
[36:50 - 36:51] this is my biggest job.
[36:51 - 36:57] This is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power and will,
[36:57 - 37:03] 5% pleasure, 15% pain, 100% reason to remember my name.
[37:03 - 37:07] He has the name, his name up in lights, he just wants to be heard.
[37:07 - 37:10] Whether it's the beat of the mic, you feel so un-miked.
[37:10 - 37:13] Everybody else in the ball in spite of the fact that some people
[37:13 - 37:15] still think that they know him, but fuck him.
[37:15 - 37:16] He knows the code.
[37:16 - 37:18] It's not about the salary, it's all about reality.
[37:18 - 37:22] Making some noise, making a story, making sure his click stays up.
[37:22 - 37:26] That means 20 points at a time, so making it out of the snow.
[37:26 - 82:54] [music]
[82:54 - 83:00] Well, let's hear how much you think I suppose it always sucks. Let's hear it.
[83:00 - 101:34] [typing]