2021-5-13 What Do Lyrics Mean to you

[0:00 - 0:26] What's up guys I'm back. Now to speak on what I was speaking on earlier. Like I was saying
[0:26 - 0:33] different songs have different meanings to different people. So to one person a song can
[0:33 - 0:39] be one thing entirely. But to someone else like myself the song can have an entirely
[0:39 - 0:52] different meaning. Hey Brandi what's up. Like this song right here this song right here
[0:52 - 1:01] for me at least was the song that helped me escape my abusive relationship with my ex
[1:01 - 1:09] Rebecca. It's called Witness the Addiction and something that not a lot of people do
[1:09 - 1:15] realize before I play the song. Something that not a lot of people realize is that when
[1:15 - 1:21] you're abused or in an abusive relationship like I've been in and you're in that relationship
[1:21 - 1:28] for so many years the abuse almost becomes like an addiction. It becomes an addiction
[1:28 - 1:35] because that's all you know and it becomes your addiction you become used to it and that's
[1:35 - 1:45] what you know. So you guys are about to see how and why this song helped me to get away
[1:45 - 1:52] from all that.
[1:52 - 4:56] [Music]
[4:56 - 5:04] Now the first half of that song right there does speak a lot of truth and a lot of people
[5:04 - 5:11] don't realize that with that song in particular where it talks about your demons dancing
[5:11 - 5:22] right in front of my eyes for me I basically had to sit here and watch not able to do
[5:22 - 5:29] anything about the situation at the time I was unable to do anything because I didn't
[5:29 - 5:36] know I was being abused so ultimately I had to sit there and sit there until I finally
[5:36 - 5:44] figured it out I had to sit there and watch and she did this awful horrible stuff to
[5:44 - 5:55] me every day I went through that and I always wished like for a better day once I figured
[5:55 - 6:04] out what was going on I was constantly wishing hoping praying for a way for it to stop I
[6:04 - 6:12] constantly asked myself am I better off dead am I better off dead than to be in an abusive
[6:12 - 6:24] relationship am I better off leaving this earth behind am I better off leaving those
[6:24 - 6:38] I love behind than to stay in this nasty awful abusive relationship and this next part
[6:38 - 6:43] of this song that's coming up that I'm about to do for you guys is the part that clicked
[6:43 - 7:11] in my head for me and made me start fighting back
[7:12 - 7:13] to the end of the day.
[7:13 - 7:57] I'm not going to be able to do anything about it.
[7:57 - 8:55] I'm going to be able to do anything about it.
[8:55 - 9:14] This song right here that I'm about to do for you guys, it's pretty obvious what it's
[9:14 - 9:17] about.
[9:17 - 9:23] I think we can all relate to this one because if you guys have the same mindset that I have,
[9:23 - 9:28] you guys will see where this one is going very, very quickly.
[9:28 - 9:29] Yeah.
[9:29 - 9:38] I wake up every morning when I head up in the day so I'm not sure if I should say this
[9:38 - 9:39] fuck.
[9:39 - 9:40] I'll say it anyway.
[9:40 - 9:41] Everybody tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase.
[9:41 - 9:42] I don't know if it's a phase.
[9:42 - 9:43] I just want to feel okay.
[9:43 - 9:44] Yeah, I'm bad at depression but the question still remains.
[9:44 - 9:45] This is post-traumatic stress and no real I suppress and rage.
[9:45 - 9:46] And the doctor tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase.
[9:46 - 9:47] I'm not sure if I should say this fuck.
[9:47 - 9:48] I'll say it anyway.
[9:48 - 9:49] Everybody tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase.
[9:49 - 9:50] I don't know if it's a phase.
[9:50 - 9:51] I just want to feel okay.
[9:51 - 9:52] Yeah, I'm bad at depression but the question still remains.
[9:52 - 9:53] I just want to feel okay.
[9:53 - 9:54] Yeah, I'm bad at depression but the question still remains.
[9:54 - 9:55] I just want to feel okay.
[9:55 - 9:56] Yeah, I'm bad at depression but the question still remains.
[9:56 - 9:57] I just want to feel okay.
[9:57 - 9:58] Yeah, I'm bad at depression but the question still remains.
[9:58 - 9:59] I just want to feel okay.
[9:59 - 10:00] Yeah, I'm bad at depression but the question still remains.
[10:00 - 10:01] I just want to feel okay.
[10:01 - 11:55] Yeah, I'm bad at depression but the question still remains.
[11:55 - 12:09] Yeah, I do get made out to be a popular monster at times. I do get made out to be that monster. I do get made out to be that guy that... Hold on y'all.
[12:09 - 12:14] Hold on y'all.
[12:14 - 12:17] Yes, ma'am.
[12:17 - 12:38] No, for me, I do get made out to be that popular monster. Everybody wants to make me out to be that monster. Make me out to be that bad guy.
[12:38 - 12:48] Hell, that misconception about me.
[12:48 - 13:07] Which is what I've been fucking getting at.
[13:07 - 13:18] All right, user.
[13:18 - 13:47] And see, a lot of people don't seem to understand that.
[13:47 - 14:16] All right, user.
[14:16 - 14:28] Why do you think I relate to this part so well right here? Why do you think y'all relate? And I don't know, many of you can relate to this.
[14:28 - 14:38] People will tell you, why don't you go get some help? Take some meds, go see a counselor. They can help you with your problems.
[14:38 - 14:46] And being that popular monster doesn't mean I'm missing y'all right here at times.
[14:47 - 14:56] Lately, I've been distant from the world in a quiet place. Feels like it might be why I differently I can't embrace. From all the hurt and all the pain, can you feel my rage?
[14:56 - 15:02] Throwing up those bullets, they consider me a basket case. But things are changed, the past is done and over with.
[15:02 - 15:08] Why I keep on throwing on it? Why my thoughts so cancerous? Why my best friend have it now? God, can you please answer this?
[15:08 - 15:17] Why am I still agonizing on my last relationship? Maybe I'm a drummer, take a shot at C&W. Can you hear me? I'm a drummer, ranging like we never sat alone.
[15:17 - 15:23] Come up for the struggle, I can promise staying home, my life is all up for the joke, like it's time I'm fucking home.
[15:23 - 15:29] If I'm not really killed, best believe I would be dead. I ain't now these saving lives and sometimes I forget.
[15:29 - 15:35] 'Cause my demons came to play, I'm barely hanging by a thread. Maybe I'll shit for the stringer and just lay my mind to rest.
[15:35 - 15:42] I got lost in the music, it's their beauty. Barely hanging on, I don't know if I can do this.
[15:42 - 15:48] Will I rise? Will I fall? Will I rise? Will I fall? I don't know anymore.
[15:48 - 15:54] Look at my reflection, ain't the rest of the evening. Was it I was dreaming?
[15:54 - 16:00] Will I rise? Will I fall? Will I rise? Will I fall? I don't know anymore.
[16:00 - 16:08] I know your life is glamorous, I can see it in your eyes. You can't even scan yourself, your past's on you, so you go to rhyme a little.
[16:08 - 16:14] Toss a turn and every night debate and if it even helps, you put the party in, put the drawers, put the reefer.
[16:14 - 16:20] And now you think it's problem solved, 'cause you change your people, you wake up miserable, it's clear your feet are not for evil.
[16:20 - 16:23] Take my hand tonight and I can promise you'll be always peaceful.
[16:23 - 16:26] What about my family? I can't leave 'em in a disarray.
[16:26 - 16:29] Give me time and I'll move on, forget about you anyway.
[16:29 - 16:32] What about my fans and the impact I've made on them?
[16:32 - 16:36] Find another source, do not worry, they will all remain, it's better if you go.
[16:36 - 16:40] Do not act like you have any friends, heaven don't exist, this is it.
[16:40 - 16:44] Will you take my hand, voices leading louder, you can't fight and best assign you well.
[16:44 - 16:47] Join me on the darker side, through the dreary, put to hell.
[16:47 - 16:54] Lost in the music, this is therapeutic, barely hanging on, I don't know if I can do this.
[16:54 - 17:00] Will I rise, will I fall, will I rise, will I fall, I don't know anymore.
[17:00 - 17:06] Look at my reflection, it ain't the words that came in, wish that I was dreaming.
[17:06 - 17:12] Will I rise, will I fall, will I rise, will I fall, I don't know anymore.
[17:12 - 17:18] I feel like giving up though, some things I can't explain now.
[17:18 - 17:36] Will I rise, will I fall, will I rise, will I fall, I don't know anymore.
[17:36 - 18:13] [MUSIC]
[18:13 - 18:16] When does song for you guys that I've just started working on recently?
[18:16 - 18:19] [MUSIC]
[18:19 - 18:22] So maybe you guys can get a better understanding of my mindset.
[18:22 - 22:44] [MUSIC]
[38:11 - 38:15] That's putting me one step closer to where I need to be.
[38:17 - 38:18] So, yeah.
[38:22 - 38:24] That's my life for you guys.