2021-4-9 My Anxiety (Song)

[0:00 - 0:19] I don't understand it. I don't understand anything that you do. Well, why you do what you do?
[0:28 - 0:32] It seems like every day you attack me for no reason at all.
[0:32 - 0:51] It's like playing against you. I may as well be playing with a loaded gun. Because every day that I fight you, I just think lower and lower, not knowing what to do, not knowing who to trust, not knowing where to go.
[0:52 - 1:07] You sit there and you laugh at my face and say that you want to end things on your own terms. But then when we try to, you turn around and attack me and then I have to go back and defend myself with coming YouTube.
[1:08 - 1:25] I never wanted any of this. I never wanted the pain that you caused me. I never wanted my friends or family to suffer because of what you did. Everything you did is so ungodly.
[1:27 - 1:43] You act like you're better than me, but you're nothing. All you are is a bullshit bully and you know it. So I'm gonna scream out loudly. You need to stop what you're doing now.
[1:44 - 2:03] Because when you're dead in the ground and you're on your deathbed, you're gonna be sad, alone and miserable. I'm sick of the bullying and I'm sick of the hate. I'm sick of crying these tears that doesn't work that I say.
[2:08 - 2:26] When I get brought to tears, you sit there and you say that they're fake, but really they're not fake. For months and months and years and years, I've had to look over my shoulder while I'm living in fear.
[2:27 - 2:43] And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the anxiety. I'm sick of the suffering. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm at the end of my road.
[2:44 - 2:58] Should I pull this trigger and let the chamber close and let the bully go? Should I put that noose around my neck and let that shit loose? I don't know what to do.
[2:59 - 3:13] And it seems like death is the best option for me. Because anymore I can't take anymore of this bullying. You act like you fucking know me. But the truth is, you don't know anything.
[3:13 - 3:24] You don't know what it's like to suffer with everything that you've done to me.
[3:27 - 3:47] I just want to be able to live my life in peace and not have anybody hate on me. I want to be able to help others like myself. And I'm just being honest with you. You know that everything you do is wrong. But it's like you don't kill a fuck, do you?
[3:50 - 4:13] I'm sick of the suicide attempts. I remember the other day I held that knife to my neck. And when I did, I felt at peace. Because I felt like death was the only option for me. Because of everything that you've done to me.
[4:14 - 4:38] I never wanted anything to be this way. I just want the woman that I love back. And I hope that everything will be okay. I just want this all to end so badly. So I can finally live my life in peace. Without any more anxiety.
[4:39 - 4:46] www.mooji.org