2021-4-10 i Owe my Life to my girlfriend

[0:00 - 0:10] [Laughter]
[0:10 - 0:12] What's up, everybody?
[0:38 - 0:45] I just want to say
[0:45 - 0:55] First off, to my wonderful, amazing girlfriend
[0:55 - 0:59] Shower is sunshine
[0:59 - 1:06] Thank you for saving my life
[1:06 - 1:14] I grant all my life to you sweetheart
[1:14 - 1:19] If you guys don't know what happened
[1:19 - 1:22] Let me explain
[1:22 - 1:24] A little bit ago
[1:24 - 1:28] Me and Strawberry were on Marty's stream
[1:28 - 1:40] And he bullied me to the point to where I had attempted to take my own life online
[1:40 - 1:46] Because I had been dealing with this for so many years
[1:46 - 1:52] And I finally hit my breaking point
[1:53 - 2:03] I finally hit my breaking point last night
[2:03 - 2:06] Or a little bit ago
[2:19 - 2:25] And it doesn't matter what it was
[2:25 - 2:35] The point is, I attempted to end my life because of Marty and what he has been doing to me
[2:35 - 2:44] And I know some of you see this as "hahaha, it's a joke, it's funny but really it's not a fucking joke"
[2:44 - 2:50] And it's not funny and it's not okay to laugh about something like that
[2:50 - 2:54] It's really not
[2:54 - 3:08] Laughing at somebody wanting to end their own life is never okay
[3:08 - 3:13] It's never funny and it's not okay
[3:13 - 3:19] And if any of you at all support or back up what Marty was doing
[3:19 - 3:28] Or what he does from this point on, you're sickening ahead
[3:28 - 3:34] And you deserve to be in jail just as much as he does
[3:34 - 3:41] It doesn't matter what I did
[3:41 - 3:48] It doesn't matter what I've done in the past
[3:48 - 4:01] What matters is that I've tried to take my own life because of Marty and what he has done
[4:01 - 4:15] And it's not right
[4:15 - 4:23] That you guys sit here and laugh like it's funny
[4:23 - 4:28] Whether it's with a pen, a knife, whatever, it doesn't matter
[4:28 - 4:34] Point is suicide is suicide
[4:34 - 4:42] It doesn't matter what you use
[4:42 - 4:52] It really and truly does not fucking matter what you use
[4:52 - 5:03] You're talking to somebody that has survived several suicide attempts, so trust me, I know
[5:03 - 5:10] And I had sought help, I have gotten help before
[5:10 - 5:24] But Marty tonight pushed me to my breaking point so bad to where I tried to end my life
[5:24 - 5:35] Not because I was trying to be a coward but because of the bullying that he has done to me for so long
[5:35 - 5:47] And I know people like Tangerine Cat won't understand this and are going to sit there and laugh
[5:47 - 5:56] But if you support Marty at all in any way, you're just as guilty and just as bad as he is
[5:56 - 6:09] If not worse, I sat there and watched some of you in the comments laughing at me as I was on the edge
[6:09 - 6:22] I saw a lot of you in there laughing at me when I truly wanted to die
[6:22 - 6:28] When I truly wanted to end my life
[6:28 - 6:38] And I make you just as guilty as he is
[6:38 - 6:46] Because if you support Marty, you're supporting suicide
[6:46 - 6:55] If you support Marty, you support bullying, you support hatred
[6:55 - 7:09] If you support Marty, you're not a human fucking being at all, you're a sick twisted freak
[7:09 - 7:20] The only reason I'm alive right now is because of my girlfriend
[7:20 - 7:33] And I feel so bad because she had to witness me almost take my own life
[7:33 - 7:45] My own mother was in the background watching
[7:45 - 8:13] And if you've never been on the edge of suicide, you don't understand what it's like to get put through what I got put through
[8:13 - 8:26] And as I said, whether it was with a knife or pen or whatever the item may have been, it doesn't fucking matter
[8:26 - 8:39] Suicide is suicide at the end of the day
[8:39 - 8:46] At the end of the day, suicide is suicide
[8:46 - 9:15] There's no two ways about it
[9:15 - 9:24] And if you guys have never been on the edge of suicide, you don't understand the feeling
[9:24 - 9:51] If you've never been in the position that I was in just a little bit ago, you won't understand what it's like to be on the edge like I was
[9:51 - 9:55] You don't understand what was going through my mind
[9:55 - 10:03] When Marty was sitting there ridiculing me, attacking me
[10:03 - 10:28] You don't understand what it's like to wake up every day, every day knowing that you're going to be attacked, knowing that you're going to be bullied in some way
[10:28 - 10:35] Anymore, the only good thing worth waking up to is my girlfriend
[10:35 - 10:47] She's what gets me out of bed, she's what pushes me to be the best that I can be
[10:47 - 11:03] She's what motivates me
[11:03 - 11:26] I'm going to tell you, if it wasn't for her stepping in and helping me, if it wasn't for her stepping in, I wouldn't be here right now
[11:26 - 11:44] If it wasn't for her begging and pleading with me, I wouldn't be here
[11:44 - 11:57] I owe my life to my girlfriend, and without her, I wouldn't be here right now
[11:57 - 12:02] Without her, I would be dead right now
[12:02 - 12:13] If I didn't have her, I would be dead, I would not be alive right now
[12:13 - 12:42] Because if not with the pain, I would have found a way to end my own life
[12:42 - 12:51] And Tandray Cat, I know you're sitting there laughing, I know you are
[12:51 - 12:59] But let me tell you right now, you're doing that because you don't know what it's like to be on the edge
[12:59 - 13:11] If you've never thought it was suicide, if you've never been on the edge, you could never possibly understand what it's like to be there
[13:11 - 13:22] To feel like the whole world's against you, and that you just want to leave it behind
[13:22 - 13:26] And be at peace
[13:26 - 13:36] To feel like the only way out is to end your own life
[13:36 - 13:40] That's the place that I was in
[13:40 - 13:50] I truly felt like I had no way out except to take my own life
[13:50 - 14:10] Because I had dealt with being bullied for seven years
[14:10 - 14:35] Being mobbed, being catfished in Y2 every day
[14:36 - 14:45] I felt like I had no way out
[14:46 - 15:14] I hope you guys see now
[15:14 - 15:24] What it is that I got picked up
[15:24 - 15:33] I hope you see now just how evil Marty is
[15:33 - 15:46] Why do you think I reach out for help every day
[15:46 - 15:53] Why do you think I wake up miserable, scared
[15:53 - 16:08] Why do you think I'm always living in fear as because I am
[16:08 - 16:28] And I just wanted to stop
[16:28 - 16:39] No, he's not cool. He's a sick and evil person. How could you even begin to say that?
[16:39 - 16:55] How could you begin to say that he's a cool person when he almost made me end my life?
[16:55 - 17:16] If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be in this position
[17:16 - 17:25] So Tim, you can take your comment, shove it up your ass, and go the fuck to hell
[17:25 - 17:32] Because obviously you don't have compassion and you don't understand
[17:32 - 17:41] Despite what Marty says, I did not start any of this
[17:41 - 17:47] And I did not do anything to him
[17:47 - 17:55] So Tangerine Cat, I hope you rot in hell just like he will
[17:55 - 18:02] I hope you rot in hell, you fucking bitch
[18:02 - 18:07] I hope you rot in fucking hell
[18:07 - 18:11] If you support Marty, you're supporting a monster
[18:11 - 18:23] And if you support Marty, you're supporting suicide
[18:23 - 18:31] And just know that when you die, Tangerine, you're not gonna go to heaven
[18:31 - 19:00] You're gonna go to fucking hell for what you've done
[19:00 - 19:22] Well, let me put this in your head, Tangerine
[19:22 - 19:28] Let me teach you a little lesson that I've had to learn a long time ago
[19:28 - 19:34] Sometimes the realest things in the world are the things that we can't see
[19:34 - 19:46] Sometimes the realest things in the world are the things that are not seen by human eyes
[19:46 - 19:57] Prove me fucking wrong, prove me wrong
[19:57 - 20:03] Because I promise you there's no way you can
[20:03 - 20:09] The most realest things in the world are the things that we can't see
[20:09 - 20:19] I want you to prove me wrong
[20:19 - 20:48] I want you to know that I love you so much
[20:48 - 20:54] And I'm so grateful to you
[20:54 - 20:58] And thank you for saving my life
[20:58 - 21:21] I owe you everything I owe you my life
[21:21 - 21:29] But like I said, to anybody that supports Marty at all
[21:29 - 21:33] I promise you I will find you and I will block you
[21:33 - 21:37] You will not be allowed on this channel
[21:37 - 22:06] And I promise you I will not be allowed on this channel
[22:06 - 22:11] But for those of you that have reached out to me in pure concern
[22:11 - 22:15] Messaging me up, asking me if I'm alright
[22:15 - 22:20] I just want to say thank you
[22:20 - 22:27] For those of you that did actually reach out to me and asked about the raid
[22:27 - 22:31] I just want to take them home and say thank you guys
[22:31 - 22:41] For the most important way, I want to say thank you to my girlfriend who saved my life
[22:41 - 22:54] I know I say it a lot stronger, but I really cannot put in the words to say just how much you mean to me and how much I love you
[22:54 - 23:04] I really can't, I wish I could, but I can't
[23:04 - 23:16] The words to say how much I love you and how much you mean to me have not even been invented yet
[23:16 - 23:23] I can honestly say that you're the best thing that ever happened to me
[23:23 - 23:28] And I want you to know that I love you so much
[23:28 - 23:36] So much more than you know
[23:36 - 23:49] There's no one in the world that I'm proud to be within you
[23:49 - 23:59] But if anyone would like to help bring down Marty, please do so
[23:59 - 24:10] Because this has got to stop because next time, I don't know if I'm going to make it
[24:10 - 24:16] Next time he does this, I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it
[24:16 - 24:33] But it's going to stop a little
[24:33 - 24:42] For good
[24:42 - 24:54] I love you guys so much
[24:54 - 25:04] And to my wonderful amazing girlfriend, Charley, I want to say that I love you babes so much
[25:04 - 25:08] And thank you for saving my life
[25:09 - 25:23] Thank you for watching!