2021-12-26 START LIVING YOUR LIFE

[0:00 - 0:22] Good afternoon everybody. How's it really today? How is everybody doing today? What is up? What is up? What is up, man?
[0:22 - 0:34] Good afternoon.
[0:54 - 1:20] Now, as many of you know, my life has not been an easy one. Essentially since I came on to YouTube and I started talking about my life, I've had many things happen both good and bad.
[1:20 - 1:32] I've had, you know, people get inspired by the fact that I was not supposed to live as a child, but did.
[1:46 - 1:58] And it's true, my life has not been an easy one. I've gone through a lot of things that most people should never have to go through.
[1:58 - 2:26] The last night in particular was very, very different from most other days that I've gone through. You see, after I got off of MusicBizMarty's livestream, after everything had happened, I was laying down in bed, almost asleep, and I was going over the typical stuff in my head.
[2:26 - 2:52] You know, like, why me? What happened to make me get into this position? And why is it that I always feel so compelled to, you know, do this kind of stuff to where I look like an asshole in the end, but I always try to do the right thing.
[2:52 - 3:04] I always find myself doing, I always find myself standing up for others that I don't know.
[3:04 - 3:12] Those were literally my last thoughts before I fell asleep.
[3:12 - 3:34] Now, something people don't realize is this, and I'm going to challenge your thoughts on this, is when you go to sleep at night and you lay down in your head, you know, you're in your bed, you're comfortable, you're laying down, you're knocked out, you know, you ain't waking up till morning.
[3:34 - 3:51] I ask you this, when you go to sleep at night, are you really going to sleep or are you actually waking up from a dream?
[3:51 - 4:04] When you go to sleep at night, are you actually going to sleep or are you actually waking up from a dream?
[4:04 - 4:19] Because think about it. The other side has been proven to exist many a time over, and I've seen it for myself. I've witnessed it for myself and others have too.
[4:19 - 4:27] There's many people out there that have had encounters with the other side.
[4:27 - 4:40] And I can say it for a fact that it is very true that what you put into this world comes out the other side and reflects in the long run.
[4:40 - 5:01] What you put into this world reflects on the other side. If you put negative energy into this world, that negative energy that you die with is going to carry over to the other side.
[5:01 - 5:14] Why do you think I try to put positive energy into the world? Why do you think I try to help people? Because I am that bridge between life and death.
[5:14 - 5:31] I am the bridge between living and dying and lightness and dark because I have lived there my entire life. When I was born, some of you may not know this, so if you don't know, allow me to explain.
[5:31 - 5:55] When I was born, I was born very very premature. I was born one pound ten ounces. My head was as big as my fist, and my arms and legs were the size of my pinky. I was not supposed to live.
[5:55 - 6:14] I was not supposed to live past birth. The day I was born was the day I was supposed to die. The doctors had already pronounced me dead, saying that I wouldn't live past 24 hours.
[6:14 - 6:27] But you know what I did? I stared death in the face and survived.
[6:27 - 6:46] Through the sheer hard work of my godmother, who just happened to be a nurse at the hospital where I was born, and my mom doing everything that could to keep me alive, I survived.
[6:46 - 7:05] But there is one memory that has always stuck with me. As a child, when I was supposed to die, growing up, I always knew that I was destined for something more.
[7:05 - 7:20] I never fit in anywhere really growing up. Obviously I had a lot of friends and do still have some very close friends that I'm very very close with.
[7:20 - 7:37] But I never fit into society and I could never figure out why. I could never figure out why. Even as an adult, I couldn't figure out why did I live? What's my purpose?
[7:37 - 8:05] I know I'm destined for something more, but what is it that I'm destined for? But then it hit me. The minute that I started doing music, and I started to talk about my life and not the things that you hear on the radio, the minute I started talking about my life, people started listening.
[8:05 - 8:23] People started listening for a reason because I have a very real story. One that not many have gone through the way that I have gone through.
[8:23 - 8:33] The day I was born was supposed to be the day that I died.
[8:33 - 8:46] And I could tell you for a fact that the energy you put into this world carries over when you die.
[8:46 - 9:12] The other side is very very real and it does affect you and others around you. So my question to you is this. Would you rather spend your life doing things that you don't like being negative towards people, attacking people, hurting people, throwing your life away doing shit that you hate doing?
[9:12 - 9:28] Or would you rather get rid of that shit that you hate doing and actually do what you want to do with your life and actually be happy and put positive energy in this shit?
[9:28 - 9:47] The thing I don't understand about a lot of you people on YouTube, you're so connected and so dependent on materialistic things. You're so codependent on material things, the words of others.
[9:47 - 10:04] When really your focus shouldn't be on material things. Your focus should be on doing what you want to do with your life and being happy with your life.
[10:04 - 10:18] Because the one thing that a lot of people do claim to is money. People think that money runs the world. Does it run the world? Yes, it's true.
[10:18 - 10:37] Money buys us things. Money helps us to pay bills. That is true. To an extent, we do need money to be able to survive, to buy essentials like food, water, a place to stay, you know, stuff like that to keep people alive.
[10:37 - 10:49] That is true. But in the long run, in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? No.
[10:49 - 11:01] Because you cannot take money to the grave with you. When you die, there's only one thing that's going to the grave with you. Your memories, your thoughts.
[11:01 - 11:17] That's the only thing you're taking to the grave with you. Your memories and your thoughts are the only thing that you are taking to the grave with you that will then transition to the other side with you.
[11:17 - 11:33] So in the grand scheme of things, money is meaningless. Money is just a material item that we use to purchase things to, you know, make us feel happy for a certain time.
[11:33 - 11:51] And to a certain extent, it does make us happy. But in the long run, it's just quick pleasure. Money is quick pleasure.
[11:51 - 12:06] But yet we depend on it so much. And what you guys don't realize is money is not important. What is important is the relationships that you build with people.
[12:06 - 12:23] The good that you try to do for people is what truly fucking matters.
[12:23 - 12:49] And no, it's not a multiple personality thing. I am speaking the truth that no one wants to fucking hear. No one wants to hear the truth because people like Masonjar here, I can already tell, are attached to materialistic things.
[12:49 - 12:56] Yes, money pays bills, but you cannot take it to the grave with you.
[12:56 - 13:19] You cannot take money to the grave with you. But what you can take to the grave with you is memories, thoughts, things that you've done for people.
[13:19 - 13:29] The things that you do for people will carry on for generations.
[13:29 - 13:41] Do you really think that what you do now won't affect people in the future? Trust me, it will.
[13:41 - 13:55] And yes, when I was younger, I did a lot of bad shit. I did. I made a lot of mistakes. I will admit that. But since then, I have tried to turn everything around the way that it should be.
[13:55 - 14:18] Every time when I get up here and I do a cover show or I record new songs or I hang out with people, I try to create good memories. I try to help people so that when people of the future go back and watch my videos and see how I actually was,
[14:18 - 14:40] they can look on that and be like, "Yo, this dude was onto something. This guy had something that he was doing that's good. I like what this guy was about. I like what this person had to say."
[14:40 - 14:49] Or, "I like this person's attitude." The things that you do now will have a very real effect on the future.
[14:49 - 15:17] What you do now, every single move, action, word that you do and say affects what happens in the future. Why do you think I try to put out positive energy?
[15:17 - 15:33] And that is true. Some might not, but some might look past all the negative and see the good. And there are some people that have done that. Some people have seen past the things that I've done.
[15:33 - 15:47] And what time said, "Yo, this dude got tricked into this. He was over here minding his own business." There are some people that have seen past that. And to those people, I am grateful.
[15:47 - 16:01] But what people need to really and truly realize is that I never once intended to become that person that I have become over the last two years.
[16:01 - 16:17] I was forced into that position through bullying and harassment and being tricked and being lied to by people that are not happy with their own life.
[16:17 - 16:33] And for those of you that are not happy with your own life, what I don't understand is this. Why do you feel like you have to push your negative life onto other people?
[16:33 - 16:45] Just because your life is shit, if something in your life is not going the way you want it to, maybe there's a reason for that.
[16:45 - 16:55] Maybe there's a reason that your life isn't going the way you want, whether it's something that you're doing or something that is out of your control.
[16:55 - 17:09] But regardless of that, that does not mean you reflect your negative life onto someone else.
[17:09 - 17:21] Just because you feel like shit does not mean you have to go around making someone else feel like shit because you feel like shit.
[17:21 - 17:35] Just because your life isn't going the way that you want it to does not give you the right to go after someone else and make their life hard just because your life's hard.
[17:35 - 17:45] That does not give you that right.
[17:45 - 17:59] That does not give you that right to reflect your negative life onto someone else, period.
[17:59 - 18:12] Yes, I've done made some mistakes, but in the long run, as I said, I was tricked into this shit.
[18:12 - 18:24] I was backed into the corner and bullied into those positions, all of which were out of my control.
[18:24 - 18:28] I had no control over what these people have done to me.
[18:28 - 18:36] None. I had no control over what these people have done to me.
[18:36 - 19:00] Now, why they did it to me, I may never know, but I do know that looking back at these people's videos and really looking at their life and seeing just by what they posted on YouTube, I could tell you for a fact that their life, they felt like it wasn't where they wanted it to be.
[19:00 - 19:15] So what do they do? They take it out on the weird guy. They take it out on the guy that they think isn't as smart as they think that I was.
[19:15 - 19:31] Therefore, I am not at fault for what they have done to me, and I will never ever claim responsibility for what those people did to me.
[19:31 - 19:36] I only claim responsibility for what I did.
[19:36 - 19:44] I cannot control what other people say or do to me. I cannot control their actions.
[19:44 - 19:51] I only have control over me and how I react.
[19:51 - 20:17] Now, yes, when that stuff went down, when all these different events went down, I will admit I was in the wrong, but you have to also look at it from the point of view that these people are not happy with their lives and they are not happy with their lives because they are not doing anything to make their life better.
[20:17 - 20:25] They are not doing anything to try to better themselves or change the situation that they are in.
[20:25 - 20:33] They are stuck in this situation and literally are refusing to do anything about it.
[20:33 - 20:52] But me, I am always looking for ways to better myself. I am always seeking out new and inventive ways to make myself better than I was the day before or better than I was 10 minutes ago.
[20:52 - 21:08] I am always going through thinking, okay, what can I do to better myself? Or what can I do to try to help better the life of someone else who may be stuck in a similar situation?
[21:08 - 21:13] Because there is an old saying that rings very, very true.
[21:13 - 21:25] Unless you are willing to help yourself, no one can help you. No one can help you if you are not willing to put in the work to try to help yourself.
[21:25 - 21:41] Because unless you put in the work to try to help yourself, how are you supposed to expect someone else to help you when you cannot help yourself?
[21:41 - 21:50] See, these people have a very negative life, but yet they refuse to do anything to try to fix it.
[21:50 - 22:01] They refuse to do anything to try to better themselves. Instead of trying to better themselves, what do they do?
[22:01 - 22:12] They sit there and they make other people feel like shit and expect other people to take the root of what they are dealing with.
[22:12 - 22:22] They reflect their insecurities and what they are dealing with and their inner demons onto other people because they don't want to face the fucking truth.
[22:22 - 22:31] They don't want to face the fact that they need to start helping themselves before anyone can help them.
[22:31 - 22:59] See, I stand up for people like myself because I am that guy. I am that guy that has been stuck in fucked up situations, but even in those stuck situations where I was in very fucked up situations, do you know what I did?
[22:59 - 23:09] Even when I was in those fucked up spots, you know what I did? I constantly thought to myself, okay, how can I take this situation and flip it?
[23:09 - 23:16] How can I take the situation that I'm in and turn it from a negative to a positive?
[23:16 - 23:23] How can I take what I'm going through and use that to get me to where I want to be?
[23:23 - 23:31] Even when I did shit wrong, I constantly thought to myself, this is a lesson that I needed to learn.
[23:31 - 23:39] This is a lesson that I needed to learn because this is something that I can use to help other people like me.
[23:39 - 23:44] See, I've got to put through all this bad shit for a reason.
[23:44 - 23:53] This shit with Masshole reports. This shit with William Gloria, I've got to put through all these situations for a reason.
[23:53 - 24:01] All these situations that I was in, they weren't just me making mistakes, they were lessons.
[24:01 - 24:19] They were lessons that I needed to learn so that I can help others like myself to not make the same mistakes that I made, to show people that you can do good with your life, that you can actually be something.
[24:19 - 24:24] Regardless of your mistakes, we all make mistakes. We're all human.
[24:24 - 24:29] And that's what you failed to realize, Cruella, is that we are all human.
[24:29 - 24:33] Humans are made to make mistakes.
[24:33 - 24:43] I repeat, all humans on the face of the earth, no matter who you are, are made to make mistakes.
[24:43 - 24:54] That is what allows us to exist. Those mistakes are lessons that we are meant to learn to better ourselves.
[24:54 - 24:58] Those mistakes are how we learn.
[24:58 - 25:09] You ever try to cook something and you make a mistake in cooking something and it doesn't come out exactly how you want?
[25:09 - 25:27] You ever do that where you're cooking something or you're baking something and you're pretty sure you write all the instructions correctly, but yet there's that one time that you make that one dish and it doesn't come out how you want?
[25:27 - 25:33] That's a mistake. And what do you do? You learn from that mistake.
[25:33 - 25:41] Same thing in life. We all make mistakes. We all mess up.
[25:41 - 25:52] Regardless of how big the mistake or how little it is, that mistake is still a lesson for us to learn.
[25:52 - 26:02] Now, am I condoning all mistakes to be forgivable? No.
[26:02 - 26:15] But at the end of the day, they are still lessons that we need to learn to be able to better ourselves.
[26:15 - 26:25] And here's the thing, Cruella. In your eyes, I might not be learning, but in all actuality, I am.
[26:25 - 26:41] Because if you take my videos, here's an example for you. Take my videos from two years ago, okay, where I started going off on people, when I started getting bullied and I started getting harassed, okay?
[26:41 - 26:55] You take those videos from two years ago. Two, three years ago, you take those videos and you compare them to ones like this on this channel that I'm doing now to better myself.
[26:55 - 27:10] Two totally different things. You have my videos from 2018 and 2019, all those, where I was flipping out and going off on people, but you compare those to the videos that I'm doing now.
[27:10 - 27:22] I'm doing way better than I was two years ago. Did I get myself into some very fucked up situations? Yes, but I also learned from them.
[27:22 - 27:50] I learned to turn those negatives into a positive. I learned to take those things that I did that I got attacked for and I turned them around. Because even in those negative spots, even in those negative spots, I still try to find the good in everything that I do.
[27:50 - 28:01] And that's where you're wrong, Carolella. Last night, it may have looked like I was freaking out, but I actually wasn't. That's the thing.
[28:01 - 28:25] I was not freaking out last night. If anything, I was showing people how stupid and ignorant people like Tony can actually be. People like New Deity, who stabbed me in the back and betrayed me.
[28:25 - 28:36] I was not flipping out like I used to. I was simply proving a point to show people how they act.
[28:36 - 28:52] See, the thing with Tony is this. When he started speaking in other tongues, I wanted to show people, "Hey, you know, you want to pretend to be this? Okay, well, here's how you look."
[28:52 - 29:04] I was merely showing them how they are acting, how they are being sought, how people view them.
[29:04 - 29:24] With Tony, I was basically showing people, "Hey, look, this is how I'm acting, but in turn, this is how Tony acts. This is how he is. This is what he's doing. This is how immature he's acting with New Deity."
[29:24 - 29:40] I had a reason to say what I said to her because she stabbed me in the back, but in the same light, I still showed everybody, "Hey, this is how this crazy bitch over here is acting. This is what she's doing."
[29:40 - 29:50] I was basically showing people, "Hey, this is how this person acts. This is how they are acting. This is what they are doing."
[29:50 - 30:17] So therefore, I was not freaking out. I was merely showing people how these ignorant people act, and I was trying to embarrass Tony and embarrass New Deity so that maybe that embarrassment can show them, "Oh shit, this is how I'm acting.
[30:17 - 30:30] This isn't how I want to be betrayed. This isn't how I want to be seen on YouTube. This isn't how I want to be. This isn't who I actually am."
[30:30 - 30:59] I was merely showing them a lesson through what I do best and showing the public exactly how these people act because people like Tony need to understand that how they act is going to reflect them in the long run.
[30:59 - 31:14] And yes, I've had people do the same thing to me, which is why I cleaned up my act because I paid attention to all the videos being made about me.
[31:14 - 31:35] I've paid attention to everything that was being said about me. And you know what I did? Yeah, I could have taken those things negatively. I could have taken all those things in a negative light. I really could have.
[31:35 - 31:59] But instead, you know what I did? I looked back and I thought to myself, "How can I take what they're saying and do what I need to do?" And you know what I did? I took everything everyone said about me and I looked at it. I studied it.
[31:59 - 32:20] And instead of looking at it in a negative light, I looked at it as a lesson. "Okay, this is how I used to act, okay? This is how I used to be. This is how I used to act, but that's not how I want to be portrayed."
[32:20 - 32:40] So, you know what I did? I did something about it. And you know what I did about it? I changed my attitude. I changed my outlook. I changed who I was as a person and stopped letting the negative bullshit affect me.
[32:40 - 33:04] Now, when I went onto Marty's stream the other day and I did go off on him, that was because I was trying to teach him a lesson to stop bullying people. Because, as I said before, what you do now in this world will carry over with you to the next. It will carry over with you to the other side.
[33:04 - 33:30] And to be quite frank, I'm tired of seeing all the negativity, all the bullshit, all the drama. There is no need for it. The drama and the bullshit, the negativity, the lashing out, the attacking people. It's all pointless. There is no point to it.
[33:30 - 33:53] There is no point to being negative. There is no point to bullying someone. Because at the end of the day, I'll be honest with you, I don't mean this and anything wrong about this, but this is something that you need to hear.
[33:53 - 34:09] At the end of the day, we are all on death row. At the end of the day, we are all on death row. Every last one of us, we are all on death row just waiting for death to come.
[34:09 - 34:27] The only difference is that people like me and you guys in the chat are on the outside. Other people that have committed crimes are in a jail cell. But at the end of the day, we are still all on death row.
[34:27 - 34:49] But what you do with your time until that day comes is what truly matters. Would you rather focus on the past and be negative and hold people back and bully people, make people feel like shit, attack other people and do that and not the other?
[34:49 - 35:11] Or would you rather do something good with your life and help people and show people, hey, not everything is bad. And no Dustin, I did not.
[35:11 - 35:23] And that's where I am coming from with all this. Is that you don't have to let your past define who you are.
[35:23 - 35:43] I don't let it define who I am. Never have, never will. Instead, I take my past, I learn from it. Because you know what they say about history. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
[35:43 - 36:05] And yes, I may have taken a couple of times for me to learn from history, but I still learn from it. And I am no longer repeating my past transgressions. I am no longer repeating my past that I once lived.
[36:05 - 36:17] So I ask you this one final question. When you die, what do you want to be remembered for?
[36:17 - 36:25] When you're gone and you're on the other side, what do you want people on this side to remember you for?
[36:25 - 36:41] Do you want them to remember you for the bad shit and all the fucked up negative stuff that you've done? Or do you want them to remember you for the good, positive energy that you put out?
[36:41 - 36:45] Peace.