2021-1-29 WHAT CHANGED

[0:00 - 0:22] What's up you guys? So it appears we have a bit of an issue going on and I can honestly
[0:22 - 0:41] say that right now I'm not only embarrassed, I'm ashamed of a lot of you. You see, I came
[0:41 - 0:53] onto the YouTube scene back in 2010. Had a pretty good start. And over the years I started
[0:53 - 1:08] doing stuff like making music and shit. And then over the past year, I found some of you
[1:08 - 1:19] guys on here. And at first some of you guys, you know, you treated me like an outsider
[1:19 - 1:31] at first. And granted, even though I was on live streams that y'all weren't cool with,
[1:31 - 1:42] y'all still supported me. I earned your guys' trust, even though I was on live streams
[1:42 - 1:51] several times that you guys weren't cool with. And yet, when Lava Girl comes into the mix
[1:51 - 1:57] to try to help me out, to try to get rid of Marty and the bullshit that he's fucking
[1:57 - 2:10] doing to me, you guys shun her. And where is that fair? I'll be straight up honest,
[2:10 - 2:17] y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. You treat her like an outsider and won't give
[2:17 - 2:24] her the same shot that you guys give me, even though she's on Marty's stream talking shit
[2:24 - 2:33] to him, talking down to him. What happened to showing love and support to everybody
[2:33 - 2:41] that came into this community? I don't get it. What the fuck happened? Y'all talk about
[2:41 - 2:47] being friends and wanting what's best for me and accepting others into the community
[2:47 - 2:59] regardless of what they do. But yet, you guys shun somebody who genuinely wants to fucking
[2:59 - 3:15] help me out. I don't fucking get it. And here's the thing, I didn't destroy my
[3:15 - 3:24] own community. Y'all motherfuckers that sat there and attacked her for no reason are the
[3:24 - 3:35] ones that destroyed it. I tried to fucking defend her and get y'all to chill out. But
[3:35 - 3:45] yet, not counting my own girlfriend Tang, not counting her, y'all motherfuckers are
[3:45 - 3:52] the ones that fucking destroyed it. Like I said, y'all should be embarrassed of yourselves
[3:52 - 4:02] and very ashamed. Especially you, Courtney. You and your community with Bloody Kiki gave
[4:02 - 4:10] me a fucking chance when I was an outsider. Even though I did dumb shit and I did shit
[4:10 - 4:18] that you weren't necessarily cool with, you still showed me the love and support that
[4:18 - 4:26] I deserved. And yet, you wanna sit there and talk down on somebody who's trying to do
[4:26 - 4:34] the same thing as you and bring down a punk ass bully like Marty. What happened to being
[4:34 - 4:45] on the same page? What happened to that? Cause as far as I can tell, and as far as
[4:45 - 4:58] I can fucking see, I didn't destroy it. Y'all motherfuckers did. See, Lava Girl came in
[4:58 - 5:06] and tried to defend me against Marty. Tried to get info on Marty so that we could take
[5:06 - 5:17] his ass down. This motherfucker's been attacking me for years. And I mean, years. And the one
[5:17 - 5:24] person that comes in and tries to fucking help, you guys shut it away. I don't get
[5:24 - 5:35] it. What happened to community? What happened to acceptance? I can honestly say, I'm embarrassed
[5:35 - 5:43] of every single one of you that shunned her the way that you did. If anything, y'all motherfuckers
[5:43 - 5:53] owe her a motherfucking apology. Y'all owe her an apology for what you did. Yes, she
[5:53 - 6:00] may have been on Marty's stream. So fucking what? I've been on Marty's stream before.
[6:00 - 6:12] So what? You gonna shun me out? There's no difference. We are all one community here.
[6:12 - 6:18] I'm tired of seeing this community being divided. I'm tired of seeing everybody in
[6:18 - 6:27] my circle fighting amongst each other and being pit against each other. I'm sick of
[6:27 - 6:36] seeing the fighting. Y'all need to grow up, put your differences aside, and get on the
[6:36 - 6:44] same page. Because at the end of the day, we all have the same goal, to stop Marty
[6:44 - 7:00] and the shit he's doing. Seriously, what happened? I don't get it. All I'm trying
[7:00 - 7:06] to do is bring y'all motherfuckers together, regardless of what you do, regardless of
[7:06 - 7:16] your past. What you do on your own time, that's your business. But when you're in
[7:16 - 7:26] this community, you are accepted no matter what. We all have a history. We all have faults.
[7:26 - 7:33] We all have shit that we go through. At the end of the day, we're all people. Nobody's
[7:33 - 7:49] perfect. No one on this earth is perfect. We make mistakes. We fuck up. So fucking what?
[7:49 - 7:59] At the end of the day, we're all the same. We all bleed red. We are all one community.
[7:59 - 8:06] And what y'all don't realize is Lava actually tried to help me out. I sat down and I had
[8:06 - 8:15] a good talk with her the other day. I had about a three hour conversation with her.
[8:15 - 8:23] And let me tell you right now, she wants the same thing you guys want. She wants what
[8:23 - 8:32] you guys want, which is for this bullshit to fucking stop. She wants to be part of
[8:32 - 8:41] this community and to help bring down Marty. She wants that shit so fucking bad. There
[8:41 - 8:46] have been nights where she would sit there and message me and call me out of the blue
[8:46 - 9:06] wondering if I'm okay. The same as you guys. She wants the same as you. So if you ask me,
[9:06 - 9:25] y'all motherfuckers owe her a fucking apology for the way you treated her. I explained the
[9:25 - 9:32] tang what's going on with Lava and she understands entirely. She supports what Lava's trying
[9:32 - 9:43] to do. She supports that Lava wants to help bring Marty down. She understands that. And
[9:43 - 9:51] I know y'all want the same shit. I know y'all want to bring Marty down and I get that.
[9:51 - 10:00] I understand that. But goddamn it, when somebody new comes into the community, you don't sit
[10:00 - 10:07] there and shun them. You don't sit there and judge them. You don't judge them for their
[10:07 - 10:19] faults. Because you know what that makes you at that point? By you judging someone
[10:19 - 10:29] else the way that y'all judge Lava, that makes you just as bad as Marty is. That makes
[10:29 - 10:39] you just as bad. Y'all talk about not being judgmental, yet you judge a newcomer into
[10:39 - 10:55] this community who's trying to fucking help. Like I said, y'all need to quit this judgmental
[10:55 - 11:05] bullshit and get on the same goddamn page where we were in the beginning. I want everyone
[11:05 - 11:21] to put their differences aside for the greater good. I want the same thing you guys want.
[11:21 - 11:27] I want Marty to be brought down. I want to build a better community. But think about
[11:27 - 11:34] this. How can we build a better community if we're always fighting with each other?
[11:34 - 11:42] I don't get it. How do you expect to build a community of good and peace and caring
[11:42 - 11:49] and understanding when we're all fighting with each other? Enough is enough. I'm tired
[11:49 - 12:01] of seeing it. Learn to put your differences aside for 5 seconds. And maybe then, we can
[12:01 - 12:09] bring this asshole down where he belongs. I can honestly say I'm embarrassed of every
[12:09 - 12:16] single one of you right now. Because you know, when I was an outsider, you guys accepted
[12:16 - 12:22] me for who I am, even though I had faults, even though I did shit that was fucked up
[12:22 - 12:32] that y'all weren't cool with. Y'all still accepted me for me and who I am. And I did
[12:32 - 12:43] the same thing for every one of you. You know, y'all sit there and say that you're accepting
[12:43 - 12:51] of newcomers. Y'all sit there and say that you're my friends. If you were truly my friends,
[12:51 - 12:58] if you were truly my supporters, y'all would quit the shit that you're fucking doing and
[12:58 - 13:14] be accepting of newcomers and look past what's going on. Because like I said, I want the
[13:14 - 13:28] same thing you guys want every fucking day. I want the same thing you guys want which
[13:28 - 13:38] is to bring this asshole Marty down. I want that same thing that you guys want. So what
[13:38 - 13:46] I don't get, why are we not on the same page? What happened to being on the same page as
[13:46 - 14:00] each other? I'm tired of seeing this fighting. Grow up. Be accepting of each other. Stop
[14:00 - 14:13] going against each other. I'm tired of it. Grow the fuck up or get the fuck out. Be accepting
[14:13 - 14:24] of one another. Whether you do fucked up shit or not, it doesn't matter. What matters is
[14:24 - 14:38] that we all get along. What matters is that we all get on the same page. Like I said,
[14:38 - 14:47] I talked to Tange and she understood where I was coming from. But yet, y'all don't see
[14:47 - 14:58] the fucking edit. What happened to acceptance? What happened to community? So what if she
[14:58 - 15:05] talks to Marty just because she talks to him don't mean a goddamn thing. You could
[15:05 - 15:13] talk to somebody that you don't like and still be okay. Because there were people
[15:13 - 15:19] that I talked to that y'all didn't like. Even before lava, there were people that
[15:19 - 15:28] I spoke to that y'all didn't like. One of them being Heather. But yet, y'all were accepting
[15:28 - 15:36] of me. Y'all were very accepting of me. Even though I spoke to the bitch and I was with
[15:36 - 15:46] her ass. Y'all still accepting me from me and who I was. So what I don't get is why
[15:46 - 15:52] are y'all doing this shit to a newcomer that wants the same thing that all of you want.
[15:52 - 16:07] I don't get it. I don't fucking understand. I thought y'all was supposed to be my supporters,
[16:07 - 16:33] my friends, my family. What happened to that? I don't get it. Y'all say lava is bad news,
[16:33 - 16:42] but you won't get a chance to show you different.
[16:42 - 16:57] They're pulling me on down. They're pulling me on down. They're pulling me on down. They're
[16:57 - 17:21] pulling me on down. I don't know myself, but the fever remains. I'm so due the pleasure,
[17:21 - 17:30] but still feel the pain. I'll tell you the truth, what you call by your eyes. I'll tell
[17:30 - 17:56] you the truth, what you tell me tonight. I keep it all sound because I know the man
[17:56 - 18:15] they are. They're pulling me on down. Poises. Poises. And I walk through this valley of
[18:15 - 18:24] shadows and death. I curse not the wicked. I praise not the blessed, but show you the
[18:24 - 18:35] truth. You beg me to change. If there were a currency, you'd go to pay. Poises. Am I
[18:35 - 19:03] going to pay again? Paying me no more. I can't win. I can't hear them now. Down to the gate
[19:03 - 19:21] so they say no. I don't want to live forever. I just want to live right now. They can take
[19:21 - 19:35] away. Poises. Am I going to pay again? Paying me no more. I can't win. I can't hear them
[19:35 - 19:54] now. Down to the gate beside my own skin. And I don't know myself anymore. They're pulling
[19:54 - 20:12] me on down to the gate. Poises. Poises. I say give me all the sound because I know the
[20:12 - 20:18] man is everything but kind. I keep it all sound because I know the man is everything
[20:18 - 20:32] but kind. And here's my point that I'm trying to make to you guys. Like I said, I'm not
[20:32 - 20:42] trying to come off harsh to you guys. But the one thing that y'all need to realize,
[20:42 - 20:51] Carla has given me no reason to distrust her. I have not seen any proof for myself of what
[20:51 - 20:59] she's done. And until I see that proof for myself, how am I supposed to take what you
[20:59 - 21:10] guys say seriously? She has not shown me any fucking reason to distrust her. Just like
[21:10 - 21:26] you guys don't give me a reason to distrust you. Think about it. She's not shown any reason
[21:26 - 21:37] to distrust at all. All I'm asking is that y'all put what she's done aside and you give
[21:37 - 21:47] her a real fucking chance to explain herself. Let her show you that she's a good person
[21:47 - 21:57] and stop judging based on what she's done. Let her explain her actions. Let her show
[21:57 - 22:09] you just like you let me show you. I showed you that I'm a trustworthy person. But what
[22:09 - 22:15] I don't understand is why y'all won't do the same for her and other people that want
[22:15 - 22:31] to say that I've made mistakes. Very similar to her. I don't get it. Y'all say she's bad
[22:31 - 22:46] news, but I don't see that.
[22:46 - 23:15] >> Okay. Thank you. >> Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
[23:15 - 23:28] >> I'm not into pieces. This is my last resort. Suffocation. No breathing. Don't give a fuck.
[23:28 - 23:56] Do you even care if it's I'm bleeding? This is my last resort. Do you even care if it's
[23:56 - 24:03] I'm bleeding? Would it be wrong? Would it be right? If it's still my last night, chances
[24:03 - 24:15] are ten of mine. Utilation at the side. 'Cause I'm losing my sight. Losing my mind. When
[24:15 - 24:23] somebody would sell me, I'm fine. Losing my sight. Losing my mind. When somebody would
[24:23 - 24:37] sell me, I'm fine. Living in love, I'm afraid too thin. Too little, too late. And no, it's
[24:37 - 24:43] empty within. Regret, feeling my chaos and living in sin. Time would spiral. Where do
[24:43 - 24:51] I begin? And I'm a son and when I lost my mother. No love for myself and no love for
[24:51 - 24:57] another. Searching to find a love upon a higher level. Finding other than the implications
[24:57 - 25:06] of devils. I'm losing my sight. Losing my mind. When somebody would sell me, I'm fine.
[25:06 - 25:16] Losing my sight. Losing my mind. When somebody would sell me, I'm fine. Thanks. All right.
[25:16 - 25:41] Nothing is fine. I'm running and I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying.
[25:41 - 26:01] I can't go on living this way. This way, when life ends in pieces. This is my last resort.
[26:01 - 26:08] Supplication, no breathing. Don't give a fuck. If I come, I know I'm bleeding. But if I'm
[26:08 - 26:15] in wrong, can't leave me right. If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might.
[26:15 - 26:23] Mutilation, not a sight. It'll cause a blatant suicide. 'Cause I'm losing my sight. Losing
[26:23 - 26:32] my mind. When somebody would sell me, I'm fine. Losing my sight. Losing my mind. When
[26:32 - 26:45] somebody would sell me, I'm fine. Nothing's all right. Nothing is fine. I'm running and
[26:45 - 27:14] I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. Here is my last resort. Here is
[27:14 - 27:17] my last resort.
[27:17 - 27:46] [MUSIC]
[27:46 - 27:54] And like I said, y'all, I'm not trying to go against you guys. I'm really not. What
[27:54 - 28:03] you guys aren't understanding is this. What I'm getting at is this one point that you
[28:03 - 28:14] guys aren't seeing. And for whatever reason, I don't know. Don't you think that I deserve
[28:14 - 28:24] to see for myself what lava is doing? Don't you think I deserve to find out on my own?
[28:24 - 28:33] But for y'all to just up and walk away and turn your backs on me all because I don't
[28:33 - 28:44] see what somebody's doing wrong? Are you fucking kidding me? Like if y'all were in
[28:44 - 28:53] my position, I know y'all would be the same fucking way. Like I said, I'm not here to
[28:53 - 28:59] go against you guys. I'm here to make you guys fucking understand that this shit that
[28:59 - 29:07] y'all are doing, it needs to stop and it needs to stop now. Instead of attacking each other
[29:07 - 29:14] and attacking people, why can't we all just get the fuck along and get on the same goddamn
[29:14 - 29:23] page? I don't get it. Get on the same fucking page, people. Put your goddamn differences
[29:23 - 29:31] with lava aside for five fucking seconds. Put that shit aside. Let's get back on the
[29:31 - 29:42] main page here, which is bringing Marty down. Y'all can sit down and talk shit all you fucking
[29:42 - 29:50] want, but all I see are a bunch of backstabbing little fucking bitches that ain't doing shit
[29:50 - 29:57] except being judgmental just like Marty. That's all I fucking see are a bunch of backstabbing
[29:57 - 30:04] fuckbags that ain't doing shit except running their mouths. When are y'all going to grow
[30:04 - 30:14] up and get on the same goddamn page? Y'all want to talk shit on me because I'm defending
[30:14 - 30:25] an outsider when I was once an outsider just like you. I was once an outsider like every
[30:25 - 30:37] one of you. I was once an outsider. And yeah, what did you guys do? You gave me a chance
[30:37 - 30:44] even though I did shit that was bad news. Even though I did shit that you weren't okay
[30:44 - 31:02] with. I don't get it. Even though I did shit that you guys did not agree with, at first
[31:02 - 31:13] y'all thought I was bad news. You guys knew I was bad news in the beginning. Y'all knew
[31:13 - 31:21] I was bad in the beginning. But you know what happened? Y'all gave me a fucking chance
[31:21 - 31:33] to prove what I can do. Y'all gave me that chance even though I didn't deserve it. Even
[31:33 - 31:40] though I was toxic as fuck. Even though I was constantly lashing out and attacking people.
[31:40 - 31:52] You guys gave me that chance. So I don't want to hear it. Y'all gave me that chance
[31:52 - 32:01] when I was toxic as fuck. When I was with Heather, y'all remember that shit. I was
[32:01 - 32:14] toxic back then. I was very toxic. But you know what y'all did? Y'all looked past that
[32:14 - 32:28] and saw me for who I am. You guys saw me for the person that I am inside. And you didn't
[32:28 - 32:39] judge me by whose stream I was on, who I talked to, who I hung out with, what I did.
[32:39 - 32:52] You all looked past that. You guys looked past all that. I can honestly say I'm embarrassed
[32:52 - 33:01] of every single one of you right now. For those of you that were judging her, I'm embarrassed
[33:01 - 33:11] by all of you. Because you guys are doing the same thing to her that you did to me
[33:11 - 33:19] when I first came into this community. And let me say right now, Jamie would be ashamed
[33:19 - 33:27] of every one of you right now. And you want to know why? Because even though people did
[33:27 - 33:34] fucked up shit, she still accepted them. Regardless of what they did, she saw past
[33:34 - 33:46] all that. Just like you guys did me. I'll admit, I'm not perfect. I did shit that was
[33:46 - 33:59] fucked up. But yet, you guys looked past that with me. Why can't you do that with other
[33:59 - 34:10] people and amongst yourselves? Like I said, what happened to acceptance? What happened
[34:10 - 34:23] to that? Because right now, I'm embarrassed of you guys and very ashamed of you. I earned
[34:23 - 34:30] your guy's trust. I showed you that I'm not the bad person that I was being made out to
[34:30 - 34:51] be. I showed you that. And I proved those rumors to be false. But yet, y'all don't want
[34:51 - 35:04] to do that for a newcomer. I'm embarrassed by every single one of you. Every single one
[35:04 - 35:11] of you that attacked her last night, I'm embarrassed by you. I'm ashamed to even call
[35:11 - 35:23] you guys my friends. Because if y'all were really my friends, if y'all really gave a
[35:23 - 35:32] fuck, y'all would fucking let her prove to you that she's not the fake that you make
[35:32 - 35:47] her out to be. Grow a fucking backbone. And let me tell you right now, if y'all were in
[35:47 - 35:57] her position, I'd defend every single one of you just the fucking same. I would defend
[35:57 - 36:04] every single one of you just the same as I'm doing her. And I know damn well y'all
[36:04 - 36:14] would do the same in return for me. And you guys have. You guys have done that for me.
[36:14 - 36:25] But right now, I'm embarrassed by all of you. I'm ashamed of you. And y'all should
[36:25 - 36:42] be ashamed of yourselves. What happened to acceptance? What happened to looking past
[36:42 - 36:57] what somebody's done and seeing the good in them? What happened? Maybe y'all would fucking
[36:57 - 37:04] shut your goddamn mouth and open your eyes and open your goddamn ear holes and let her
[37:04 - 37:12] show you through her actions. Let her prove to you that she actually gives a fuck just
[37:12 - 37:26] like all you do. Maybe we wouldn't be in this spot. And until you guys learn to grow the
[37:26 - 37:36] fuck up and learn to accept each other and look past your faults, look past each other's
[37:36 - 37:45] faults, then I don't want anything to do with this goddamn community. I don't want anything
[37:45 - 37:52] to do with this community until you guys grow the fuck up and quit judging and get
[37:52 - 38:12] on the same page. Grow up and get on the same page or get the fuck out. Y'all need to learn
[38:12 - 38:21] to accept each other regardless of faults, regardless of what they've done wrong. Grow
[38:21 - 38:50] up. Seriously, I'm embarrassed by all of you right now. And this is what I don't understand.
[38:50 - 38:57] You guys showed me acceptance when I did shit wrong, when I fucked up, when I proved I
[38:57 - 39:07] was toxic, when I proved otherwise, when I proved that I wasn't a good person at the
[39:07 - 39:15] time. You guys saw right through singing right through all of that. You guys saw through
[39:15 - 39:29] that shit and saw me for the person I am inside. You guys saw me for me and who I am. When
[39:29 - 39:38] I was an outsider, you guys showed me love, respect, even though I didn't deserve it.
[39:38 - 39:45] Even though I didn't deserve your love and respect or your kindness, you guys still gave
[39:45 - 39:59] it to me. You guys still showed it to me. What happened to doing that with each other?
[39:59 - 40:19] I don't get it. You guys talk about being accepting of everyone regardless of what they
[40:19 - 40:38] do wrong. But yet, y'all proved otherwise last night. You guys proved otherwise last
[40:38 - 40:52] night. So like I said, until I see an apology out of every one of you motherfuckers up in
[40:52 - 41:02] this chat right now to Lava, until I see y'all apologize to her for what she's done and
[41:02 - 41:09] how you guys attack her so blatantly, then I want nothing to do with this goddamn community.
[41:09 - 41:12] I'm done.
[41:12 - 41:13] [END]
[41:13 - 41:30] ?