2021-1-19 How am i to far gone

[0:00 - 0:22] What's up guys, it's your boy, so some of you may have noticed that tangerine cat is no longer a model on the channel and there's a very good reason as to why.
[0:22 - 0:35] See, she asked me to go on the Marty's panel, talked to him, and I did just that.
[0:35 - 0:45] I went on there, I explained myself, and I apologized for literally the fifth time, fifth fucking time.
[0:45 - 0:57] And she sat there and basically threw it in my face.
[0:57 - 1:17] Now in fact, let me read off the last message that she had sent. Let's see, right here.
[1:17 - 1:29] "Yet, when Marty brought up your past, criminal record, you didn't like it."
[1:29 - 1:45] "Wait, this tit for tat is juvenile. Go to bed and get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow. Stop trying to justify your actions. Ask yourself, what could I have done better?"
[1:45 - 1:54] Like, that's not attacking me?
[1:54 - 2:10] How is that not attacking me? Like, bro, I apologized five different fucking times. Count 'em. One, two, three, four, five different times.
[2:10 - 2:32] In total, three times in private chats between me and friends and me and Marty and then twice on livestreams, including this last one.
[2:32 - 2:48] So, who's the real bad guy here, huh? Let's be honest. Now I'm not trying to start beef with Marty or anything like that. I'm really not.
[2:48 - 3:07] But Tangerine, something you gotta understand, you ain't always right about everything. You ain't always right. Your whole logic doesn't always fucking work in every situation. You have to look at it from the standpoint of certain people.
[3:07 - 3:23] You have to look at it from another person's point of view. You can't just look at it from one side and be like, "Oh, you could've done this better." Or, "You could've done that. Quit justifying this when you did this." No, it doesn't work like that.
[3:23 - 3:44] It don't work like that, see? When you do that, you just make yourself look stupid. You really do. You make yourself look dumb as fuck when you do that.
[3:44 - 4:08] You know what you get when you assume shit? You make an ass out of you and me. That's an age-old saying. Never assume shit. Never sit there and tell me to quit justifying my actions. My actions are actually very much justifiable. My actions are justifiable.
[4:08 - 4:29] 'Cause see, when this shit went, Marty started. And it's something that no one really fucking seems to understand. When this shit first started, the day after Jamie's passing, I was doing a livestream. I was doing a memorial show for her.
[4:29 - 4:41] To show my condolences and pay my respects.
[4:41 - 4:53] Well, some of the people that I don't get friends with from Jamie's community started posting out videos and whatnot. After the stream, I decided to check them out.
[4:53 - 5:10] I started going down this rabbit hole with all these different people showing their thanks and paying tribute. And then I started coming across people like CPN, aka Child's Play Ninja, who were attacking her, bashing on her.
[5:10 - 5:24] So instead of going at their throats right off the shelf, I pulled guys like CPN aside of them and was like, "Yo, why the fuck are you doing this? Like, let the woman rest in peace. What the fuck's going on?"
[5:24 - 5:43] They started showing me all this evidence that Marty had something to do with her death because not only were they bashing on Jamie and her past, and they weren't really bashing on her being dead, they were more or less bashing on her past, which to a certain degree is understandable.
[5:43 - 5:58] But they started showing me all this evidence that Marty had something to do with it.
[5:58 - 6:17] Now, my question to y'all is, how are you going to sit there and ignore video after video after video things shown to you by dozens and dozens of fucking people?
[6:17 - 6:36] Like literally, there was literally videos on top of videos of them literally explaining shit, literally explaining in full detail about how Marty had something to do with her death.
[6:36 - 6:50] They literally went into full detail with this shit. And it wasn't just, you know, one story here, another story here. No, they were all the exact same story.
[6:50 - 7:08] Now, you got to think in the mind of somebody that doesn't know what the real truth is. You got to think about it from the mindset of somebody that, like, say one of y'all did something and I didn't know the full story.
[7:08 - 7:26] I didn't know what was going on. Like, let's say I'm just a random stranger and I hear something from so many people, you're liable to believe it because you're being told this over and over and over by so many different people.
[7:26 - 7:39] And that's what I was being told was the same story in detail by different people from different perspectives.
[7:39 - 7:59] Now, when you hear that so many times, you're going to believe it.
[7:59 - 8:12] And I did, I tried explaining this to him, but he doesn't fucking get it.
[8:12 - 8:21] Like, he wants to sit there and justify what he did based on what I did.
[8:21 - 8:49] Marty, I'm not trying to come and use style as men, but you got to understand something. When you did what you did to me by going after Caitlyn, going after her family, blackmailing her, attacking me the way you did with fucking rope, and then telling me to kill myself, how is that justifiable?
[8:49 - 9:01] That is in no way justifiable.
[9:01 - 9:10] Like, what I did to you is nothing compared to what you did to me.
[9:10 - 9:29] And Tangerine, that's something I know you're watching, I'm pretty sure you're probably watching this. You need to grow the fuck up and realize that your logic that you got going through your head ain't always fucking working.
[9:29 - 9:45] That logic you have going on doesn't always work. You don't think I haven't tried to walk away? Ask any motherfucker up in here that actually knows me, that has seen me go from the small channel I was to now.
[9:45 - 9:55] Ask anybody in here that has followed me. I have tried to walk away.
[9:55 - 10:06] I have tried so many times to walk away.
[10:06 - 10:20] But when you get people like Marty that bash you in such horrific ways, such horrific ways that are unignorable, how are you going to let that slide?
[10:20 - 10:37] How is me saying that he killed Jamie and then I go back and apologize to him like a man? I go back to him and apologize to him like a man. Five different times.
[10:37 - 10:47] Out of my own free will, I go back to him, I apologize to him. That livestream that I did, nobody told me to do that. I did that on my own accord.
[10:47 - 10:57] All the times I apologize to him on my own accord, by my own doing.
[10:57 - 11:02] So how is what I did not justifiable?
[11:02 - 11:16] I was wrong, I admitted it, and I moved on from it. Marty is the one that you should be bitchin' at, not me. You want to bitch at someone tangerine? Bitch at Marty.
[11:16 - 11:31] This dude sent me fucking rope and told me to kill myself on a livestream. How is that justifiable by any means? How is sitting there blackmailing my ex Caitlyn's family justifiable?
[11:31 - 11:44] How is him taking videos, private videos mind you, and private photos and posting them on porn sites justifiable?
[11:44 - 11:55] How is attacking my family, more specifically my now past brother who has been deceased for many years, justifiable?
[11:55 - 12:02] What I did is nothing compared to what he has done to me.
[12:02 - 12:12] As I said, I have tried apologizing to him. I tried walking away. Many times over I tried to walk away.
[12:12 - 12:19] Many times I tried to walk away and be the bigger person and let it go.
[12:19 - 12:31] But what does he do? He turns around and does something way worse than before.
[12:31 - 12:41] So how is that justifiable by any fucking means at all whatsoever?
[12:41 - 12:48] So tangerine, you say I'm too far gone? Bitch you're the one that's too far gone.
[12:48 - 13:00] You don't know the whole goddamn story and I hope now you do. And I hope you realize that you insulting me like that just cost us being together.
[13:00 - 13:09] I hope you're happy about that because that shit you did, I didn't deserve that.
[13:09 - 13:13] I didn't deserve the way you fucking treated me.
[13:13 - 13:20] And the way you treated me just now on Discord, that showed me what kind of person you really fucking are.
[13:20 - 13:26] And let me tell you right now, I don't deserve that. I deserve 100 times better.
[13:26 - 13:35] I deserve way better.
[13:35 - 13:43] The way you treated me and disrespected me and came at me.
[13:43 - 13:49] I acted like an adult. You, however, did not.
[13:49 - 13:57] So say what you want. As I said, I hope you have a nice life without me.
[13:57 - 14:12] I really do.
[14:12 - 14:20] You know, yeah, I've been disrespected. I've been abused by exes before. I've gone through that whole shebang.
[14:20 - 14:27] But let me tell you, nobody's ever come at me the way that you came at me.
[14:27 - 14:34] As I said, I didn't deserve that.
[14:34 - 15:03] Sometimes you need to put yourself in someone else's shoes and look at the situation from their point of view, from their aspect, from their stuff.
[15:03 - 15:17] Like when you told me about your situation, I pulled myself in your shoes. I pulled myself in your position.
[15:17 - 15:23] Oh, no, it wasn't abuse, a spouse. It wasn't abused by any means.
[15:23 - 15:32] It was a very, very big level of disrespect that showed me how she really is.
[15:32 - 15:41] In those last few words that she said to me, she showed her true colors.
[15:41 - 15:52] And I don't deserve that. I deserve way, way, way better than that.
[15:52 - 15:59] Yo, big score. What up, dude?
[15:59 - 16:05] Oh, yeah, I'm damn sure, dude.
[16:05 - 16:10] And even if she was.
[16:10 - 16:28] Even if she was trying to help me, she should have put herself in my shoes and my position and be like, hey, you know, I understand what you're going through. I get it.
[16:28 - 16:48] See, when somebody comes to me with a situation and they aren't sure what to do or they're telling me about something that's going on, I try to put myself in that person's shoes, in that person's position.
[16:48 - 17:01] And I ask myself, OK, what would I do in this person's situation? You know, what would I do if I were this person?
[17:01 - 17:13] She didn't do that. She just went off of, oh, I'm 36. I'm logical. I have a degree. Bitch, it don't fucking matter if you got a fucking degree in psychology.
[17:13 - 17:19] Psychology don't have an degree in psychology don't mean a goddamn thing in the real world.
[17:19 - 17:25] All that means is that you know how is that you know how certain people work?
[17:25 - 17:31] That's all that means. You know how certain people fucking work.
[17:31 - 17:40] That's all that is.
[17:40 - 17:45] Yo, Kat, what up?
[17:45 - 18:04] Like, so fucking what? You've got a degree in psychology. So fucking what? No one cares.
[18:04 - 18:13] Like, just because you got a degree in psychology, so what? You think you're always right all the time about every situation?
[18:13 - 18:19] You don't know every situation. Every person is different.
[18:19 - 18:26] All right. You don't know Marty the way that I do. You think you know Marty? You don't know Marty.
[18:26 - 18:36] I've dealt with that motherfucker since 2017, okay? I've dealt with that motherfucker longer than anyone, and I can honestly say longer than I care to count.
[18:36 - 18:47] Longer than I care to have dealt with him. I've had to deal with that motherfucker longer than I care to, okay?
[18:47 - 18:53] I've had to deal with that son of a bitch way longer than I've even wanted to.
[18:53 - 18:59] So I know how his fucking mind works. You do not.
[18:59 - 19:09] So therefore, what right do you have to speak on it when you don't know the way that I do?
[19:09 - 19:15] You don't know how he operates. You don't know how his mind works.
[19:15 - 19:27] That's why I went on there and I did what I did. I went on there. I said my piece. I apologized that I left because I knew exactly what he was going to do.
[19:27 - 19:38] He was ultimately setting me up for a trap with all that troll shit about a fucking book that doesn't even fucking matter anymore.
[19:38 - 19:46] So I got smart. I went in there, and I did mean what I said when I said I was letting this shit go.
[19:46 - 19:53] So I went on there. I apologized, said what I had to say, and then left.
[19:53 - 20:00] Nothing wrong with that. I was not disrespectful. I was not mean. I kept a cool head.
[20:00 - 20:06] I held a conversation with him. Granted, it may have been only like 10 minutes, but so fucking what?
[20:06 - 20:18] It was still a conversation nonetheless. Plain and simple. It was still a conversation.
[20:18 - 20:29] Like I said, I held up my end of the deal. I did what I said I was going to do.
[20:29 - 20:41] Now to Tangerine, I do apologize for your loss. I am sorry for your loss. You have my condolences.
[20:41 - 20:50] Now if you guys don't know, just the other day, and I'm pretty sure she didn't want to talk about it, I figured y'all deserve to know the truth.
[20:50 - 21:02] That Tangerine's father had passed away the other day, and I sent her my condolences, and I do apologize that you lost your dad.
[21:02 - 21:17] And for those of you that don't know, we weren't going to go public with it yet, but the day of her dad's passing, or the day before her dad passed,
[21:17 - 21:24] like that morning, she wanted to, you know, keep us secret until everything was done over with.
[21:24 - 21:30] So yeah, we were together. I will admit that we were together.
[21:30 - 21:38] And I understand why she didn't want to say anything just yet, because she was dealing with a lot, and she didn't want that stress.
[21:38 - 21:51] I get it. She didn't want the stress of everyone attacking her and bombarding her with 50 million questions and stuff.
[21:51 - 22:01] I get it. But to sit there and blatantly treat me the way that she treated me just a few minutes ago, that's uncalled for.
[22:01 - 22:25] Like I said, I deserve better than that. I didn't deserve the fucking hell that I walked into.
[22:25 - 22:35] Like, to sit there and tell me that I'm too far gone if I believe the gossip.
[22:35 - 22:43] Like, what? Like, do you hear how stupid that sounds?
[22:43 - 22:54] I'm not going to play something bad for y'all, man. And this video I'm about to show you guys, this describes Marty to the tee.
[22:54 - 23:14] This describes a legit Marty to the fucking tee.
[23:14 - 23:26] See if I can find it here.
[23:26 - 23:45] So they reflect the fucking internal battle that they got with the smell of their own shit onto somebody else or onto you and make you question if you're actually the perpetrator or the victim.
[23:45 - 23:58] My nigga, how you fuck up and cheat on someone and then say you made me do this? I made you do what? I at no point held you prisoner had you shackled up in chains against some fucking wall in the dungeon.
[23:58 - 24:07] And never did I fucking said you're going to cheat on me and fuck him in the name of House Targaryen or face death by dragon fire.
[24:07 - 24:18] I ain't never say that fucking shit. You ain't shit. You know you ain't shit, but you can't accept that you ain't shit. So now you got to go make somebody else feel like they ain't shit, because you ain't shit.
[24:18 - 24:26] That's like me riding my bike down a big ass hill, shoving a stick into the spokes and going flying off my bike 50 fucking feet into the air or some shit.
[24:26 - 24:29] And while I'm in the air, I'm like, I hate bitches.
[24:29 - 24:41] What? Bitches ain't do shit to me. You just stupid. Then when I get angry and respond to you shitting on me, you hit me with the motherfucking remix, and now I'm the bad guy.
[24:41 - 24:53] What? You cheat on someone, say it's their fault. They call you a bitch or a fuckboy and you get offended? Excuse the fuck out of me, my nigga. You feel that?
[24:53 - 25:08] We respond to your bullshit and you decide to go, Doc, it's the motherfucking remix. Wow, I'm really a bitch, though. You really gonna talk down to me? Wow, you fucked up, you disrespectful, you petty, hahaha, blase blah, oopty motherfucking whoop.
[25:08 - 25:17] Uh, yeah, yeah, you did some shitty shit. You're shitty. You shat on me. Your shit stinks. Smell your shit. Smell your shit.
[25:17 - 25:22] Don't paint somebody else as the villain when they retaliate to the crimes that you committed against them, nigga.
[25:22 - 25:30] And if you really feel like you should be able to shit on anybody that you want to, any way that you want to, and not receive something in return, you're fucking full of yourself.
[25:30 - 25:34] Fuck out of here, nigga. Nonetheless, this shit's gonna happen, though.
[25:34 - 25:42] I'm the villain in somebody's story when I shouldn't be. You probably are, too, and you don't even know it, nigga. Fuck it. If you gotta be a villain, at least be fly.
[25:42 - 25:50] Just don't accept the blame that they give you. You ain't do shit. Don't apologize to someone who fucked you over for them fucking you over.
[25:50 - 25:55] Do you hear how stupid that sounds? You're apologizing to someone because their shit stinks.
[25:55 - 26:01] Yo, real shit, my nigga. Yo, real shit, bro. I'm sorry, bro. Like, nah, all some dead ass shit, though, my nigga.
[26:01 - 26:07] Like, I'm sorry you stole my wallet, my nigga. Like, for real? Like, I really shouldn't have left my wallet there, B.
[26:07 - 26:11] Knowing that you still dealing with your condition. Yo, I be robbing niggas, I just...
[26:11 - 26:15] That was real insensitive of me, my nigga. It won't happen again. Yo, keep the money. Keep the wallet, my nigga.
[26:15 - 26:20] It won't happen again. I'm sorry. I'm insensitive, my nigga. I'm insensitive. Fuck out of here, nigga.
[26:20 - 26:29] Shitty people are shitty people, and sometimes they can't handle the smell of their own aroma.
[26:29 - 26:33] Fuck it. Fuck out of here, nigga.
[26:33 - 26:41] God, oh, man, man, he's right.
[26:41 - 27:10] I mean, he is dead ass right, though. Like, for real. Like, straight up. Like, how are you gonna sit there and attack me?
[27:10 - 27:20] After I apologize to you, and then you get pissed at me for defending myself against your attack.
[27:20 - 27:27] Which was way worse than what I ever did to you. It don't make no damn sense.
[27:27 - 27:44] Point being, Marty's gonna do what he's gonna do at the end of the day. Yeah.
[27:44 - 27:58] What the fuck? Are you fucking serious?
[27:58 - 28:03] No, that's not what I thought.
[28:03 - 28:09] Next time somebody does that? No. No, next time they do it, I want you to marry Sally Agnes.
[28:09 - 28:37] Why don't we get to see on those, Marty?
[28:37 - 28:43] Wow.
[28:43 - 28:52] Nice try, Marty.
[28:52 - 29:00] Nice troll, bitch.
[29:00 - 29:11] You ruined, you ruined me. Wow. So, after I just got that apologizing to Marty, get to this little punk ass one and did.
[29:11 - 29:22] Sat there and had somebody come to my motherfucking house looking for a fucking PS5.
[29:22 - 29:26] Nice try, Marty.
[29:26 - 29:31] Bro, I don't even own a PS5, nigga. I own a fucking Xbox.
[29:31 - 29:35] Actually, to be more specific, I own an Xbox One X.
[29:35 - 29:40] But that sides the point. I don't have a PS5, dude.
[29:40 - 29:48] Like I said, do what you do. Do what you fucking do, man.
[29:48 - 29:54] You want to sit there and be a fuckboy and do this dumb shit and continue to be childish?
[29:54 - 30:00] That's on you, dude. That is on you.
[30:00 - 30:07] But like I said, I got a show to get ready for, to do for you guys.
[30:07 - 30:17] So, I will catch you guys in just a little bit, man. Peace.