2020-12-17 Following the signs

[0:00 - 0:29] What's up guys. I never thought that I would see this day come.
[0:29 - 0:39] And I know I'm probably going to look like shit for him, but I don't give a fuck.
[0:39 - 0:49] I don't care if people judge me. I don't care if people talk about me.
[0:49 - 1:04] I don't care if you think that I'm the biggest piece of shit in the world.
[1:04 - 1:18] If you guys don't know my ex Megan talked to me and she wanted to make things work.
[1:18 - 1:23] And I told her yes because as you guys know, I do love Megan.
[1:23 - 1:29] She was my first true love and there's nobody that can replace her.
[1:29 - 1:33] And I can honestly say I'm happy to have Megan back in my life.
[1:33 - 1:41] And you're probably thinking well dude, if you got her back, why are you in tears?
[1:41 - 1:50] Because I have to face a possible reality that no one should ever have to face.
[1:50 - 1:57] Something I never thought I'd have to see come.
[1:57 - 2:06] Megan, we're not sure yet, so don't jump to conclusions. We're not sure yet, but she's been having really weird bleeding.
[2:06 - 2:26] And we're not sure, but in the event that it is true,
[2:26 - 2:31] I may have lost a child.
[2:31 - 2:39] We're not sure yet, but I may have lost a son and a daughter and if that is the case,
[2:39 - 2:46] I don't know what I'm going to do.
[2:46 - 3:02] So let this song that I start out with, let this song be the end of every parent that has ever had to face that.
[3:02 - 3:16] I just hope and pray to God that it's not that. But right now because of this scare, my whole life, my whole future,
[3:16 - 3:22] depends on you guys helping me get to where I need to be with my music.
[3:22 - 3:28] Failure is no longer an option.
[3:28 - 3:33] He showed me the signs. He showed me where I needed to be and now I know where I'm supposed to be
[3:33 - 3:41] and where I should have been this whole fucking time and where I never should have left.
[3:41 - 3:49] I never should have left Megan's side, but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.
[3:49 - 3:54] And if any of you think that you're going to use this against me, you're fucking full of shit.
[3:54 - 3:59] And I swear to God if you try to, I will come after you.
[3:59 - 4:06] But let this song ring true for every parent out there that has lost a child.
[4:06 - 4:18] I want you to know that you're not alone.
[4:18 - 4:34] God, please don't want to be true.
[4:34 - 4:42] Oh, now again, I can stop again. Let me go to lose nothing in the way I came in again.
[4:42 - 4:46] We surrender to the end of the night when he came to knock.
[4:46 - 4:50] I was terrified. I knew nothing else.
[4:50 - 5:06] I was a little bit of my life. Your future mind turned into what was right.
[5:06 - 5:17] The world around me said when I saw that heartbeat, I knew it wasn't the same.
[5:17 - 5:22] Can someone tell me why this is nothing to me?
[5:22 - 5:30] Why wasn't only then will you redeem my child?
[5:30 - 5:35] No serenity within agony, every day for another hundred ways to fight.
[5:35 - 5:38] Come and screw to me, I'll kill you, judge me.
[5:38 - 5:41] Resurrect in every demon that I've designed.
[5:41 - 5:43] The prison's hard and fine, you saw the city line.
[5:43 - 5:46] I know there's others who have to trick my soul for yours.
[5:46 - 5:49] Creeped, crippled me. Don't repeat to me.
[5:49 - 5:52] That means nothing to me 'cause I can't do it all.
[5:52 - 5:55] But you're the face of my life.
[5:55 - 6:01] Your future mind turned into what was right.
[6:01 - 6:04] I know we can't hurt the world around me.
[6:04 - 6:13] Time when I saw that heartbeat, I knew it wasn't the same.
[6:13 - 6:18] Can someone tell me why this is nothing to me?
[6:18 - 6:26] Why wasn't only then will you redeem my child?
[6:40 - 6:44] I want to say thank you, God, for showing me the right path.
[6:44 - 7:01] My child, the world around me, time when I saw that heartbeat, I knew it wasn't the same.
[7:01 - 7:06] Can someone tell me why this is nothing to me?
[7:06 - 7:14] Why wasn't only then will you redeem my child?
[7:14 - 7:24] I pray you will redeem my child.
[7:24 - 7:51] [Silence]
[7:51 - 7:53] What?
[7:53 - 7:58] [Silence]
[7:58 - 8:00] Fuck.
[8:00 - 8:05] Guys, I'll be right back.
[8:05 - 8:16] But please, guys, please, I need every one of you to pray for me and Megan, please.
[8:16 - 8:27] Please pray for us.