2018-12-30 OUt of my Control Emotional Reaction

[0:00 - 0:12] and what up y'all it's your boy Chance and today I'm going to be reacting to a song that is actually by a very dear friend of mine
[0:12 - 0:32] when his name is Matt but more common or as PFD on YouTube than it was. The song I'm going to be reacting to is actually a song he wrote for his mother just a couple of days ago
[0:32 - 0:48] who is actually a dear friend to me. She actually passed away and following the unfortunate tragic passing of his mother he wrote this song called "Out of My Control"
[0:48 - 1:01] It's definitely very personal to me because not only was she a huge supporter of Matt and everybody possible but she was a very big supporter of even my own work
[1:01 - 1:19] Everything from my artwork to my music. I have not heard this song yet but from what people have said it's very emotional it's very personal and heartfelt
[1:19 - 1:33] I mean we're out of the back of you guys' memories. The cover he used is actually helping him and his mom together. It was actually in their last couple of minutes together
[1:33 - 1:44] before she had passed so with everything I said I was getting started and I hope I don't choke, choke, choke, choke too much
[1:44 - 1:54] Also in for this we'll be in the description down below
[1:54 - 2:09] I hope you can hear me this time when I'm talking please open your eyes I don't want to be cautious I'm sitting in place but my heart's like I'm jogging
[2:09 - 2:16] Don't want you to suffer but heaven prolong it I'm being so selfish I hope you'll forgive me this time please
[2:16 - 2:26] Cause every breath that you take is me holding mine You were my rock when nothing else was solid You gave me help when I felt like a problem Can't tell you enough but you opened me up and show me how to love when I thought I had lost it
[2:26 - 2:33] I know now I'm losing you and now as it feels like I had you for seconds to years when enough and I'm cowering my money power you gave me the courage to grow
[2:33 - 2:46] Don't go, look I don't want to be alone You people around me you know That feeling when nothing means anything knowing is far but they never feel close You're squeezing my hand, oh my god are you hearing me?
[2:46 - 2:51] Oh my god!
[2:51 - 3:03] I don't want to spend my days alone Just wandering without you Wish that I could save you It's out of my control
[3:03 - 3:19] And I don't want to spend my days alone Just wandering without you Wish that I could save you It's out of my control
[3:19 - 3:46] I hate that you're slowly declining I promised Amanda that I would take care of her just like you wanted That moment you saw her you brightened and I saw your eyes start to glow You got a beautiful soul I need the world to know That you made a miracle happen I scared of the dawns of what's kept you in bed you arose We were supposed to grow together and live on the road But god had a different agenda, it's cold And now that it's ending I'm holding your hand and I feel that it's froze It's purple and blue I hear you throw rattling what do I do?
[3:46 - 4:07] It hurts but you battle to open your eyes There's a glaze in your eyes but it's me in your view Look, just know that I love you I'll go when I'm ready I wish I could stay here forever You go whenever you choose Know that I'm not blaming you This taught me compassion and love and the truth Mommy I love you goodbye Why are there tears in your eyes? Hug me you don't gotta move
[4:07 - 4:36] And I don't want to spend my days alone Just wandering without you Wish that I could save you It's out of my control This time I need to go And I don't want to spend my days alone Just wandering without you Wish that I could save you It's out of my control This time
[4:36 - 5:05] I love you sweetheart You're golden And you have an awesome life I will Thank you for everything And thank you for the opportunity to be me Thank you, thank you son for the opportunity to be your mother
[5:05 - 5:21] God you've been such a perfect child And you've had the most beautiful life I can look down on you I'll be right there
[5:21 - 5:37] Take me home I definitely hit home with you That was, oh my god, that was insane
[5:37 - 5:59] Something that I just wanna say I'm sorry for your loss bro And to your mom Mary You know, rest in peace Mary We already met you You know hopefully we'll get to see you again one day
[5:59 - 6:27] And that definitely hit home Especially when he used her and his last minutes together in that song like, oh my god, every day And that's what hit home with him
[6:27 - 6:43] That was, oh my god If you guys wanna listen to this song, the link will be in the description You know, be sure to go check it out
[6:43 - 6:57] If you guys would like to leave the condolences on the last wall, I'll leave the link to his Facebook Down below so you guys can go there
[6:57 - 7:03] Leave condolences on his wall You know, for him and his mom
[7:03 - 7:17] But just be sure to go over there guys You know, show you can go and say, you know, pay your respects 'cause
[7:17 - 7:26] And yeah, his mom was, you know, a very dear friend to me And like I said, she was one of my biggest supporters
[7:26 - 7:36] Like she was always checking out my music, always telling me how much she loved it She was always giving me rides to his shows
[7:36 - 7:47] So you know, rest in peace Mary We love you You are amazing and you know, I hope we get to see each other again one day
[7:47 - 7:57] With that being said, I love you guys This definitely was emotional This is probably the most emotional of what I think I've ever done
[7:57 - 8:05] With that being said, I love you all And I'll see you guys in the next reaction video Peace