2017-10-27 Hellsing Ultimate Abridged reaction

[0:00 - 0:18] What up guys welcome to the first episode of Ultimate Reaction. Welcome to the Ultimate Reaction channel. Today we are checking out a video that I've seen going around quite a bit that I just got into.
[0:18 - 0:36] I am very big into anime and stuff so I figured I'd do a reaction video on this really good anime series called Hellsing Ultimate. A bridge. If you guys don't know what Hellsing Ultimate is, it's a great anime, you can look it up.
[0:36 - 0:45] But someone got the bright idea to do a parody of it. So with that being said, let's check this out and see what this is all about.
[0:46 - 1:02] This is the story about a world of adventure. A sea full of excitement and a man full of dreams and a passion that seeks to drive him to the top.
[1:02 - 1:12] This is the story about a man full of excitement and a man full of dreams and a man full of dreams and a man full of dreams.
[1:13 - 1:14] I love you, Edward.
[1:14 - 1:18] I love you, Bella.
[1:18 - 1:20] What the fuck?
[1:20 - 1:24] Hold on. Who is it? Oh, you know.
[1:24 - 1:31] Holy shit.
[1:31 - 1:36] A real fucking vampire.
[1:39 - 1:42] Oh man, that was good. I like that.
[1:42 - 1:48] Yo, I'm real lovely. Time to tell you guys that I am. What do you think I'm doing?
[1:48 - 1:54] Hey, police girl. Do you have the target?
[1:54 - 1:59] OK, Master, my name is Saris. And yes, I have the target in sight.
[1:59 - 2:02] Well, better take the shot. You're letting her get away.
[2:02 - 2:04] If you just give me a second to concentrate, I could-
[2:04 - 2:06] She's getting away. She's running.
[2:06 - 2:08] I get it. I'm lining up the-
[2:08 - 2:09] Going to miss it. Going to miss it.
[2:09 - 2:11] Just be quiet and let me-
[2:11 - 2:14] Hey, police girl. Hey, hey, police girl.
[2:16 - 2:21] There! I took the fucking shot! She's dead! There's blood everywhere!
[2:21 - 2:27] Oh my God.
[2:27 - 2:32] Yeah, this is good. I like that.
[2:32 - 2:40] The air was clear. If the moon was full, I was dying to sink my teeth into something.
[2:40 - 2:43] Get it? Because I'm a vampire.
[2:43 - 2:50] So, you came to bad you're far too late.
[2:50 - 2:56] What? Everyone else is already dead, except this little tart.
[2:56 - 3:00] But trust me, I still plan to kill her.
[3:00 - 3:05] But first, I'm going to rape her.
[3:05 - 3:11] But before I can do any of that, I'm going to kill you.
[3:11 - 3:17] Oh, see, that would be intimidating if you were well intimidating.
[3:17 - 3:19] Are you mocking me?
[3:19 - 3:21] Oh no, no, no, no, no.
[3:21 - 3:29] Well, that should about wrap things up here.
[3:29 - 3:33] Oh yeah, I forgot about you. Sorry about that whole shooting you thing.
[3:33 - 3:40] But I know if you look deep into your heart, which is currently all over that tree, you'll find a way to forgive me.
[3:40 - 3:45] Oh jeez, you look like a puppy. A blood-eviscerated puppy.
[3:45 - 3:51] Christ, fine, I'll help you. But only because you've got nice tits.
[3:51 - 3:54] Send out your field of thought.
[3:54 - 3:57] You went on a walk through the forest at midnight.
[3:57 - 4:07] You killed a homicidal vampire priest, and then you turned someone into a vampire who happened to be a big titty police girl.
[4:07 - 4:13] Yes, it's like I didn't just get through explaining this. Now, if you don't mind, I've got things to do.
[4:13 - 4:16] What things? You don't do things.
[4:16 - 4:19] Yes, I do. I take enthusiastic walks to the woods.
[4:19 - 4:22] And kill homicidal vampire priests.
[4:22 - 4:25] Very enthusiastic walks.
[4:26 - 4:29] So that's your field report.
[4:29 - 4:35] So you broke into the house, and you shot him 36 times.
[4:35 - 4:38] And took out his partner.
[4:38 - 4:41] To be fair, that was the police girl, with the big titties.
[4:41 - 4:44] You need to stop going on walks.
[4:44 - 4:47] I need to hurry up and hook up some goddamn DSL in here.
[4:47 - 4:50] Listen, have an assignment tonight.
[4:50 - 4:51] Oh my god.
[4:51 - 4:58] I've never hunted on a leprechaun before. Do you think if I shoot them with my gun, Lucky Charles will explode everywhere?
[4:58 - 5:03] Stop, Charles, get up. I'm gonna kill the vampire who's taking over the hospital.
[5:03 - 5:05] And bring the police girl with you.
[5:05 - 5:08] Come on, I have to bring her everywhere.
[5:08 - 5:10] None of the sass.
[5:10 - 5:12] Yes ma.
[5:12 - 5:14] Oh my god.
[5:14 - 5:16] Yo.
[5:16 - 5:22] See, there's one guy who does that walk, tells the world we're in a bridge. Definitely strict, yeah. This is some fucking silly.
[5:22 - 5:27] Tell me, Anderson, what is your favorite thing to do?
[5:27 - 5:31] Spreading the word and the love of Jesus Christ to the many people of the world.
[5:31 - 5:33] Teaching peace and love for all.
[5:33 - 5:35] And the killing of vampires?
[5:35 - 5:37] Ah, just try to fucking stop me.
[5:37 - 5:40] And what about the Protestants?
[5:40 - 5:42] Second verse, same as the first.
[5:42 - 5:45] Now put me on a plane so I can put them in a hearse.
[5:45 - 5:51] Oh my god, they don't fucking die to me.
[5:51 - 6:00] This is awesome. I can totally join in. Seriously, there's like 40 zombies in here. Just one shot to the head and they explode.
[6:00 - 6:04] Like House of the Dead, only like 100 times more awesome.
[6:04 - 6:11] Fine, I'll shoot some of the rotten bastards. Can't be that much fun.
[6:11 - 6:15] Oh fuck the hell yes.
[6:15 - 6:32] Sweet black fucking Sabbath. If I wasn't holding up with a beast of a woman in Tegra, I'd fuck the red right out of those eyes.
[6:32 - 6:37] Well, kinda like that. Only with less symbolism and more my penis in your vagina.
[6:37 - 6:39] Oh my god.
[6:39 - 6:44] And the ends of hypocrisy in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church.
[6:44 - 6:49] And what's this? No little Timmy glued to your crotch. Progress.
[6:49 - 6:53] Ah, look at what we have here. A bloody heathen.
[6:53 - 6:57] Excuse me, but I'm a fuck mothering vampire.
[6:57 - 7:02] I killed a lot of people to get this title. I deserve to be called such.
[7:02 - 7:04] Well then, mind if I ask you your name?
[7:04 - 7:07] Only if you give yours first, Papist.
[7:07 - 7:13] Fine, I'll give you the courtesy. That name's Alexander Anderson.
[7:13 - 7:17] Oh fuck all kinds of duck.
[7:17 - 7:22] You have been chosen to reveal my existence to the world.
[7:22 - 7:27] You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later.
[7:27 - 7:31] Except you won't. Come on, I'll kill ya.
[7:34 - 7:40] Oh my, brilliant speech. And unoriginal. That's totally from Boondock Saves.
[7:40 - 7:43] What? No, it isn't. I came up with it a week ago.
[7:43 - 7:46] Whatever. We're here for the vampire.
[7:46 - 7:49] The only one left here is your sorry pale ass.
[7:49 - 7:53] Yeah, yeah, give me a minute. So what do you want anyways?
[7:53 - 7:56] The nearest elementary school is at least 10 kilometers away.
[7:56 - 8:02] It is your corrupt acclaim. It is your evil that will be sought by me with every breath.
[8:02 - 8:07] Boondock Saves, seriously, you must watch that movie religiously.
[8:07 - 8:11] Did it? Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Nice.
[8:11 - 8:14] Oh shit.
[8:14 - 8:23] Headshot. Well, now that that's over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal?
[8:23 - 8:27] Oh shit.
[8:27 - 8:31] Well, now that that's over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal?
[8:31 - 8:35] Frankenbet. Son of a Protestant whore.
[8:35 - 8:37] Well, you know what time it is.
[8:37 - 8:43] This kind of shit is why I stopped going to church.
[8:43 - 8:47] Oh god, what the fuck?
[8:47 - 8:58] Yo.
[8:58 - 9:06] Very cool. Now the next thing I want you to do is put me between your legs.
[9:06 - 9:11] What the fuck?
[9:11 - 9:15] Yo, this is some funny shit.
[9:15 - 9:23] What do I do? What do I do?
[9:23 - 9:28] What? I've got a choice to do to you. Wait, no, I'm not leaving you, old boy. Shit.
[9:28 - 9:31] Sing your prayers, wee lass.
[9:31 - 9:36] That girl belongs to me.
[9:36 - 9:38] Well, aren't you the naughty one?
[9:38 - 9:41] Don't make me shoot you in the fucking head.
[9:41 - 9:42] Oh shit.
[9:42 - 9:44] Don't you want your crazy Protestant bastard?
[9:44 - 9:45] I'm a woman.
[9:45 - 9:48] Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy Protestant bastard.
[9:48 - 9:51] Do you know this is a great violation of our agreement?
[9:51 - 9:53] And what part would that be?
[9:53 - 9:56] The part where you're here, killing my men.
[9:56 - 10:01] I have no idea what you're on about. I'm just here doing my job.
[10:01 - 10:04] Killing vampires and werewolves and leprechauns.
[10:04 - 10:09] I never actually found one, but do you think of a cut one open with my knife who would spill out lucky charms?
[10:09 - 10:12] Just shut up. Where the hell is Alakon?
[10:12 - 10:14] Oh, him? I killed him.
[10:14 - 10:15] Killed him?
[10:15 - 10:17] Cut off his bloody head.
[10:17 - 10:21] Oh, well, that's step one. What about two through ten?
[10:21 - 10:23] Ah, Christ.
[10:23 - 10:26] Oh shit, this fuck.
[10:26 - 10:31] You done goofed.
[10:31 - 10:34] How the blood-soaked Protestant hell did you do that?
[10:34 - 10:36] Fuck you, that's how.
[10:36 - 10:42] Oh my god, that was good.
[10:42 - 10:44] Eat me, don't forget to write.
[10:45 - 10:47] Oh my god, he survived.
[10:47 - 10:49] So?
[10:49 - 10:50] What?
[10:50 - 10:51] Do I get to go after him?
[10:51 - 10:52] No.
[10:52 - 10:53] Aw, come on.
[10:53 - 10:56] No, and that's final. We've got bigger things to worry about.
[10:56 - 10:57] Oh my god.
[10:57 - 11:02] Whoever's behind those vampire attacks, it has to be some kind of large organized group.
[11:02 - 11:03] Like the Nazis?
[11:03 - 11:05] That would be retarded.
[11:05 - 11:10] Oh my god, dude.
[11:11 - 11:16] Gentlemen, we are Nazis.
[11:16 - 11:21] And we, we have war.
[11:21 - 11:28] And we, and we, we don't like you.
[11:28 - 11:32] Yeah.
[11:32 - 11:38] Dude, that was funny and fair, man.
[11:40 - 11:41] Aw, man.
[11:41 - 11:52] Yo, that was some funny shit right there.
[11:52 - 11:57] If you guys have not checked it out, definitely check out Hell's The Ultimate Bridge.
[11:57 - 12:02] If you're into funny videos or parodies, they got a ton of them.
[12:02 - 12:06] Like I will also be doing a reaction on Pikachu on Acid.
[12:06 - 12:12] I haven't seen that video like a million times. I've never done a reaction video to it, so I am going to do that.
[12:12 - 12:23] But as I said, guys, if you have not subscribed to the channel and you want to see more funny reactions to like this right here, definitely hit that subscribe button.
[12:23 - 12:24] Hit that notification bell.
[12:24 - 12:29] And if you did like this video, slap that thumbs up button and for more.
[12:29 - 12:33] With that being said, guys, this has been Ultimate Reaction.
[12:33 - 12:37] And I will see you guys next time. I'm outta here.
[12:37 - 12:41] Don't forget to subscribe and have a nice day. Peace.
[12:41 - 12:42] Peace.